Really having trouble with food

Kinda hurts when you post something so intimate and get no replies huh! Don't worry though, you're not invisible, we just don't always see posts!

I often struggle with that, and I don't think it's hormonal I think it's mostly just emotional. I had a really bloody awful job which was physically exhausting and emotionally dreadful. It was hard work, hard hours and there was barely a return for the hard labour. I still managed to lose weight (how? I don't know - probably because I worked at least 50hrs a week doing really high-intensity cardio. As a nurse you walk at LEAST 10 or so kms a day) but ate the worst of the worst. Nearly every night it was a Maccas run or something else deep fried. I think that when life is stressful and unrewarding, we start to feel emotionally unsatisfied and turn to alternatives to meet those basic needs of satisfaction. For me, I quit my job and instantly lost two kgs and have eaten maccas twice since then. Quitting your job mightn't be an option, and it doesn't sound like it as you have two jobs, and if you can't find another job, you need to meet your needs in another way. So how you're doing it is needing to eat more. No, that's not saying that you have an emotional eating problem, either. I think you have a job/life satisfaction problem!

Alternatives could be:
- cutting back hours at work
- joining a class for personal interest (craft, yoga, tai chi, pilates, painting, language lessons)
- being around friends and being social more often. (I don't go out with my friends. We always sit at home and have a cuppa and it is always the best thing ever. We often catch up on weekends with their kids and I spend the whole weekend there, just helping out/cleaning their house/minding the kids/playing with the kids/chatting to them/etc. and it's really bonding. So much fun too. Oh, and the best? Free! Yay! Stress-less!) Mind you, I have two close friends that are in the same state as me, you don't need a million friends to enjoy a rich social life!
- reading a book
- having a bath at home, instead of a shower
- planning your future (I always find this helps when I feel like the present seems miserable or stressful!)
- having more activity in your life. Me and my man have taken an interest in hiking and are working towards going on a three-day 60km hike (woah. Seems currently impossible haha!). It's really valuable doing something enjoyable; free/cheap; applicable to any weather (although, that's only if you're daring!); doing something with another person and having a common goal. We also do things like ride motorbikes together, play board games together, run around the yard with the dog together and sit at our parents' houses together!
- spending more time under the sun than under the roof. It's unbelievably valuable. Today, it was decent weather (not hot, and very windy) and I went and lay on the concrete to sunbake. Why not?! It was really relaxing, totally soothing, completely free, completely doable for however long I wanted to, non-restrictive and fun!

Just noticing that you are feeling unsatisfied is hugely satisfying. It is such a deep emotion and usually goes unrecognised. Most people usually say they are bored or just feeling 'bleh' or want a change, or can't stand things the way they are, or keep wanting things to be different or, on the other hand, completely avoid the emotion (as they probably can't see it or understand it) and try to fill a void. (I said void as a hole can be filled, a void? Not so easily!)

You can absolutely message me if you want to talk about it more, hopefully it makes sense and I really hope you can relate to it (mostly because it'd mean an answer for you, and hopefully less wanting to eat!!!!)

I also looked at your diary. Your ticker looks like you'd like to lose 60+ lbs? What are your stats? I think 1400 cals may be too aggressive for you and the restriction is causing issues. Do you have a food scale? Are you weighing and measuring everything? Looks like there are a lot of estimations on there (McD side salad with what looks like a homecooked meal). Weigh EVERYTHING and write it all down - even ketchup. This doesn't take willpower - just don't be lazy. What is your free time like? Looks like you could benefit from some light exercise. And, I know you have time. If I have time, you have time. You just need to make yourself and your health a priority in your life. You don't want it bad enough.

I use a scale often, but not all times. And No, I DO NOT always have time to exercise. I work 20-30 hours a week in a hospital that is an hour from where I live. I also work full time nearby where I live. Please don't say things like that "I don't want it bad enough" or tell me I'm "lazy". NOT APPRECIATED. I work MANY hours per week. Minimum of 60, not including drive time... max of 90 hours.

Also, I don't count exercise because I use a fitbit, and somedays I CANNOT get up to my step goal because I'm chained to a desk in an ER. When I go to the gym and do things, or when I do a kettlebell workout, it doesn't decrease my calories so why add it on here? I keep track of it in a calendar. I'm VERY strong. My bodyfat percentage does not match up with my bmi. If I kept all my muscle mass, but lost all body fat I would still weigh over 140 lbs, where some women at my height can weigh 135 lbs. I CAN'T.

Also, my boyfriend is a manager at McDonalds. So yes, sometimes I will put a mcdonalds side salad down because HE is making it based on the specifications from where he works. I don't use anywhere close to the amount of dressing the salad stipulates though. So I decrease the side by an estimation. Clearly, I know HOW to count. I just don't quite know HOW to keep my counts down to 1400 lately, which is what MFP put me at. I didn't choose the number.

If it's so easy for you, MISS, then why the hell are you on here? Don't need "tough love". Need some tips. Some support.

Ok, first things first. When I first responded I gave you some tips. You said, "yeah, doesn't work" I just eat it out if the freezer, I can't say no, etc. so, at that point it is just sheer willpower. A lot of time passes for you to think about eating something when you have to go to the kitchen, get it out if the freezer and heat it up. If losing weight was truly important to you then you would find the will to say no. No one will say no for you. And I didn't call you lazy. I said not logging accurately is laziness because that doesn't take willpower. Using a scale and logging accurately are TIPS to successful weight loss. I suggested more exercise because that will give you more calories to use. I asked your stats because perhaps, with a fitbit, tdee would be a better method for you. I have a full time job, two kids, a commute too, and a husband. I had all of that and an ailing mother and I still found time to exercise when recovering from knee surgery. It's called 4:30am. I'm not special which is why I know everyone can do it. I am on here because I had to lose baby weight and I learn a lot from other members about fitness and nutrition. I am sorry if it sounded snotty but the truth is the truth.

I felt at the beginning of your post that you meant well. But using terms like lazy does not sit well with me. I have great work ethic. Regardless of how you meant it, most of your post felt negative and judgemental. And I wasnt asking for technique. I was asking for help in pinpointing where my appetite is being difficult to control. Am I working too much? Am I sad about my job issues? Or ami having a hormonal issue because my eating has FELT OUT OF CONTROL. Im aware of when I'm simply screwing up. Making bad choices. The point was that I have tried to wait out the "hungry" feeling and it doesnt just go away.

Perhaps you felt you were being helpful by asking about my technique (weighing food not estimating etc) but that wasn't my question. I was asking for help in figuring out my thoughts vs it possibly being hormonal. And honestly, I understand and don't take offense when people talk about technique of calorie counting. It was your negative framing and word use that I didn't appreciate.

How are we supposed to help you determine that? We can't read your mind, we can't tell you if your hormones are screwed up, and we aren't with you every moment of the day.

My opinion? You're not eating enough which is why you have difficulty controlling your appetite. I would be interested in knowing your stats as well. I have never eaten less than 1800 to lose weight, even when I was only lightly active.