PARANOID FOR THE HOLIDAYS
vynnette26
Posts: 58 Member
During Thanksgiving, I "enjoyed" my food. I also gained 4 lbs. Now, I have family christmas dinners, corporate holiday gatherings, friends reunions, and 2 birthday dinners, all in the month of December. I want to decline all the invites but there's no way to hide from food. I also recognized my avoidance issue when I was sick and took 2 days off work and I refused to stay home for fear of eating too much or unhealthy. With a fever of 102, I went to walk around walmart and slept in my car for 2 hours because I didn't want to stay home cuz the chips, mac and cheese, and candy bars where in my cabinet.
Last weekend, I said I would go to my friends BBQ then I just didn't show up.....
Guidance anyone
Last weekend, I said I would go to my friends BBQ then I just didn't show up.....
Guidance anyone
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Replies
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That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship with food. Practice some moderation. You can have a drink at the party, just not five. Fill up on the veggie tray instead of the cookie platter. Have fun, don't hide from the world in fear of some cheese.0
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Eat a healthy meal before you go. Save a few calories at the end of the day for a piece of pie or a couple of cookies. Drink lots of water and station yourself across the room from the food table. Don't avoid your family and friends and enjoy the holidays! Another suggestion I saw that I really liked was to not select treats that are store-bought, but use your saved calories to sample some of Grandma's peanut butter fudge since you only get it at the holidays (for example).
If you go over, don't fret! It's only a few more weeks and the holiday season is over.
Good wishes!0 -
Bumping for the advice.0
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To gain four pounds on Thanksgiving would mean that you ate 14000 calories in one day..which I highly doubt..
The "gain" you say was most likely water retention/bloat from slight over indulgence..
As others noted, it sounds like you have some issues with food. Why not just eat less for breakfast or lunch on said days and fit in the Christmas party meal to your daily deficit, or eat ate maintenance on those days..?
if you are avoiding going home with a 102 flu because you are scared of what is in the kitchen, then you have issues that an MFP thread cannot cure...I would suggest professional help...0 -
Please take my advice in stride. I am not a doctor, but I am a previously-hospitalized survivor of a severe eating disorder. I've been in recovery (stable, healthy, happy) for years now.
See a therapist. Food, and your fear of it, is controlling your life. It is effecting your social relationships, physical health, and mental health. Seek help so that you can make peace with the thoughts inside your head before attempting to adjust your diet under the influence of a skewed perspective. You may end up doing yourself more harm than good by trying to go this alone. Take care of yourself. :flowerforyou:0 -
Thanks for all the input. I don't think I have a mental problem but it doesn't hurt to speak to someone.0
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This. It looks like food DOES control you...the flu story is a good example. And I'll echo Rinny on: Take care of yourself. :flowerforyou:Please take my advice in stride. I am not a doctor, but I am a previously-hospitalized survivor of a severe eating disorder. I've been in recovery (stable, healthy, happy) for years now.
See a therapist. Food, and your fear of it, is controlling your life. It is effecting your social relationships, physical health, and mental health. Seek help so that you can make peace with the thoughts inside your head before attempting to adjust your diet under the influence of a skewed perspective. You may end up doing yourself more harm than good by trying to go this alone. Take care of yourself. :flowerforyou:0 -
Please take my advice in stride. I am not a doctor, but I am a previously-hospitalized survivor of a severe eating disorder. I've been in recovery (stable, healthy, happy) for years now.
See a therapist. Food, and your fear of it, is controlling your life. It is effecting your social relationships, physical health, and mental health. Seek help so that you can make peace with the thoughts inside your head before attempting to adjust your diet under the influence of a skewed perspective. You may end up doing yourself more harm than good by trying to go this alone. Take care of yourself. :flowerforyou:
Agreed0 -
The kind of fluctuations you are talking about sound like glycogen stores replenishing and depleting, not loss and gain of fat..
http://justinowings.com/understanding-bodyweight-and-glycogen-de/0 -
Sometimes people just want a hug and the reassurance that they can do this. I had a terrible time during Thanksgiving with difficult family members. I felt I was losing my grip on my healthy eating plan, but no one I talked with about it understood. Vynnette, I know what you are talking about. I feel scared, too. Let's just try the one day at a time approach and if we mess up, we'll learn from our mistakes and carry on. Good luck.
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Thank you :0) Just_Kim_0
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You are most likely right that you do not have any severe mental illness. Most people can take something that is important to them and over do it. Likewise, most of us lose some perspective at some time in our life and can benefit from talking to an impartial person to get back on track. Normal healthy people commonly talk to councilors or therapists when they think they could use a hand during a hard or confusing time. Sometimes relatives and friends are OK, but often they aren't and just don't have the unbiased perspective you need. Don't let all the people on here that are quick to throw labels on things scare you from doing what any normal person should do when they hit a tough patch. If you work for a larger company or the government you may even have the opportunity to talk to someone as part of your benefits. Doing so can often be a huge relief and much better for your self image than the feedback you can get on a forum like this.0
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I would actually try not to gain weight during this period rather then losing it. Put yourself on your maintenance calories (either for your current weight or your goal weight) and try to hit that rather then your weight loss goal.0
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we are always going to have a food issue no matter what the time of year or occasion. Its a matter of preplanning, having good choices and alternatives to eat, how much you really are motivated to lose weight and keep it off, and getting rid of that processed junk in your cabinets that is unhealthy empty calories for you and your family. Why have chips? get some pretzels instead. if you must have mac n cheese in a box then only have the single server options. IF you must have candy then only have fruit which is fresh or freeze dried so you actually get some vitamins along with your sugars. Eat before you go to food related functions. Bring a healthy dish and a plate of vegies to pass, put some protein bars in your purse, only have one or a very small portion of your friends/families dishes, drink lots of water, get in some extra exercise on the days you have a function to go to so you can have more calories to eat, don't eat like you are on vacation everytime you have a function: be aware of what you eat and have an idea of how many calories it may be. Most things you go to you may have an idea of what they will be serving before you go so make a plan. Keep a journal of what you eat and find a time to write everything down no mater what. Keep it in your purse.. jot in in it in the bathroom here and there. This way, you are holding yourself accountable even if you indulge and overeat. Don't say oh well, this definitely leads to weight gain. I log into mfp and my journal even when I overeat. It helps me to recognize patterns later on.
If you want it bad enough then you can make it happen. Nobody ever promised it was going to be easy but it can be done even at this time of year.0 -
I would actually try not to gain weight during this period rather then losing it. Put yourself on your maintenance calories (either for your current weight or your goal weight) and try to hit that rather then your weight loss goal.
^^^ definitely a great idea and gives you more caloires to play with as well as making it easier to not set you back and outdo all your hard work0 -
I completely fear being alone with food. I know I have often lost self control and avoiding that situation has helped me reduce binging and purging episodes. I am bulimic. I recommend that you stop the thought process you described because it is an unhealthy procession of thoughts that can lead you to ED. Just eat little bits of what you like. Chew slow, enjoy the flavors drink water and do not over stuff yourself, because it leads to regret.0
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During Thanksgiving, I "enjoyed" my food. I also gained 4 lbs. Now, I have family christmas dinners, corporate holiday gatherings, friends reunions, and 2 birthday dinners, all in the month of December. I want to decline all the invites but there's no way to hide from food. I also recognized my avoidance issue when I was sick and took 2 days off work and I refused to stay home for fear of eating too much or unhealthy. With a fever of 102, I went to walk around walmart and slept in my car for 2 hours because I didn't want to stay home cuz the chips, mac and cheese, and candy bars where in my cabinet.
Last weekend, I said I would go to my friends BBQ then I just didn't show up.....
Guidance anyone
I totally understand, It's really hard for me too and I don't want to erase all my efforts. I agree with the comments about practicing moderation but I'm not there yet. I'm still a big food addict and probably always will be one.
I eat a full meal before I go so I'm not hungry (like a big bowl of steel cut oats with sliced apple), then nibble or take tiny portions.
Drink water -- if possible, keep water with a lemon or lime slice at all times so people won't try to refill your glass.
Keep something on your plate and take as long as possible to eat it.
Put vegetables on your plate.
I avoid bread and try to sample one dessert (not 2 or 3)
Turn down the ice cream and whipped cream on pie.
I don't eat dairy anyway so that cuts out high calorie cheese.
Be happy, chat, talk about stuff other than what you are eating. People love to talk about themselves, so you will be fine if you can get the subject off yourself and your weight.0 -
I would actually try not to gain weight during this period rather then losing it. Put yourself on your maintenance calories (either for your current weight or your goal weight) and try to hit that rather then your weight loss goal.
^^^ definitely a great idea and gives you more caloires to play with as well as making it easier to not set you back and outdo all your hard work
I agree with this... great suggestion.0 -
To gain four pounds on Thanksgiving would mean that you ate 14000 calories in one day..which I highly doubt..
The "gain" you say was most likely water retention/bloat from slight over indulgence..
As others noted, it sounds like you have some issues with food. Why not just eat less for breakfast or lunch on said days and fit in the Christmas party meal to your daily deficit, or eat ate maintenance on those days..?
if you are avoiding going home with a 102 flu because you are scared of what is in the kitchen, then you have issues that an MFP thread cannot cure...I would suggest professional help...
This is exactly where my mind went!0 -
Thanks for all the input. I don't think I have a mental problem but it doesn't hurt to speak to someone.
Making a title called "PARANOID OF ENJOYING LIFE AND HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS"along with choosing to be alone because you don't want to gain water weight suggests otherwise. What's the point of looking good if you just gotta stay in the house, alone and eating plates full of kale?0 -
I agree about using a TDEE calculator to find out what your maintenance # is, and then just maintain for the rest of the month. I have figured out mine just in case things get really bad one day. Even if I go crazy, I will still have a hard limit, and that's my TDEE #.
http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/
Someone who goes to a store and sleeps in their car while sick just to avoid bad food sounds like an incredibly strong individual. You had so much strength that you physically kept yourself away. Wow! I would never have had the strength to do that. I woulda just laid in bed.
Now just have the strength to throw that food in your cabinets away for good and avoid it -- while being under the same roof. If it's not healthy for you then it's not healthy for your family either so they don't need it! I mean, even in your car you had the ability to walk inside walmart and buy junk, or drive to fast food and eat junk. But you didn't. The idea of being out of the house to avoid the food is an illusion - you are STRONG!! Harness it!
Additionally, see a therapist or get an appetite workbook (there are some on amazon.com) to try and find out why you aren't able to transition to clean or moderation eating rather than 'all or nothing.' you might be tying some emotions to food, and once you find out what those are, you can put work into changing it.
You can do it! 0 -
Kind of know how you feel, I have a terrible relationship with food, feeling like stuffing my face today and I'm thinking the only solution is to stay in bed and eat fruit so I'm not tempted! But I can't do that so I have to face it and hopefully not eat stuff.0
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Thanks for all the input. I don't think I have a mental problem but it doesn't hurt to speak to someone.
Um driving around and being scared to be in your own home does not sound like a normal healthy thing. What's the point of being skinny if you are miserable? Live a little, lighten up!0 -
Don't avoid social occasions, you don't have to let food rule them. When I'm out with friends I will choose the healthiest option from the menu, and will only have one course usually. To "my old self", this would have sounded horrific. That I would choose to go out and NOT get drunk, and NOT stuff my face.. but you know what? Life is SO much better now.
I enjoy social occasions for what they're meant for. Socialising. Now when I'm going out, I talk to my friends rather than just thinking about how much we can eat or drink, and it's much more fun. And, I have to say, a lot cheaper.
Yes, of course you want the "body of your dreams". But if you have to sacrifice a good quality of life to get it? Absolutely not worth it in my opinion.0 -
Sometimes people just want a hug and the reassurance that they can do this. I had a terrible time during Thanksgiving with difficult family members. I felt I was losing my grip on my healthy eating plan, but no one I talked with about it understood. Vynnette, I know what you are talking about. I feel scared, too. Let's just try the one day at a time approach and if we mess up, we'll learn from our mistakes and carry on. Good luck.
Have you tried not caring what people who are not knowledgeable on a subject think?0
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