"Why do you self-sabotage?"

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SP0472
SP0472 Posts: 193 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My boss asked me this today and it floored me. We had our monthly meeting and she asked me this because she said she notices that I do this with almost everything (she wasn't talking specifically about my weight) I was at a loss to give her an explanation because I was so stunned by the question.

So...after some thought - I self sabotage because it's safe. My job is safe, my life is safe. I know what to expect day to day. If I'm successful at making these changes, my life will change and I don't know what that'll be like and it's very, very scary.

Now that I've put that out there, the next question is - what can I do to get over that fear???

Replies

  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
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    Interesting.... I bet if you start taking risks, small ones, and they come out o.k., you will start to fear the unknown less. Try taking a different route to work, try a new salad dressing, style your hair different. All little risks, but once taken you will feel like you did something new. You will either like the results or hate them, but either way you took a risk. Good luck!!
  • Jenbabe402
    Jenbabe402 Posts: 36
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    I think we get used to and comfortable with a daily routine and are afraid to step away from that since it's what we know. It feels good to be familiar with something and stick with that, going out of the comfort zone is frightening. Take baby steps, one small thing at a time
  • superhippiechik
    superhippiechik Posts: 1,044 Member
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    I wonder why I am so weak every day. Maybe I am self sabatoging...I had a great goal day and then I went and ate an Ice Cream sandwich.:sad:
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    People do that to themselves all the time. What you know is better than the unknown! Fear of success! Now that you can think about it out in front of you, you can see if you can push yourself out of it and see how that works out. Little steps. Try it on little bits at a time. The only real failure is never trying.
  • arnoldnagy
    arnoldnagy Posts: 51 Member
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    I think asking that question was incredibly brave.

    Realizing that you do this to yourself is a huge first step, good for you!

    Don't be afraid to be great.

    ~Arny
  • Wiitabax
    Wiitabax Posts: 284
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    I've been 'self-sabotaging' for a long time, so I decided to take a step which I feel is very brave but will help me - and started putting vids. on youtube... I've two on there so far and they're there so I can see the weight I'm losing and to motivate...

    I feel that I can't go back now, because I will HAVE to continue to do this... and with people looking, that pessure can actually help me.

    Hope this makes sense... without doing stuff like this I reckon I'd still be saying: "Ah... I'll diet next week..." and then never get around to it.
  • beckym71
    beckym71 Posts: 3,511
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    I'm reading a great book about this called FEAR~ The Friend of Exceptional People and the introduction is titled The Jonah complex ( a fear of success) The opening quote is by Abraham Moslow and it's been motivating me to do a lot of soul searching.

    "We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under conditions of greatest courage, we enjoy and even thrill to the god-like possibilities we see in ourselves at such peak moments and yet, simultaneously, shiver with weakness, awe and fear before the same possibilities"

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