Cornered by Friends and Family?

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2

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  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
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    Am I the only one who just goes to friends and families homes and have a good time.... No one forces me to eat what I do not want to eat and because they are my friends and family they know better than to try and force anything upon me that is after all my decision. Now having said that I don't want to be rude going over there and say no to there hospitality so if I know I am going I will adjust my calories saving a majority of them for that particular meal and still portion out what I believe to be an amount that fits within my plan and eat it and be done.... After all this isn't like any everyday occurrence so it is like any other day and can be preplanned and worked in only difference is I can not weigh out anything but it is only one meal and that will not make or break anything in the grand scheme of things..... Atleast that is my take...... Best of Luck
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    I eat anything anyone offers me and I enjoy it fully.
    then I just go work it off.
  • Escape_Artist
    Escape_Artist Posts: 1,155 Member
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    Why are people so pushy when I mention anything related to my diet?

    Why are you "mentioning" your diet?

    If you don't want to eat something, just say "no thanks, I'm good".

    ^^ yup
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
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    Hopefully you are losing weight in a nutritionally blanced way and by eating normal foods. If that is so, you can allow for the cookie and not make a federal case out of abstaining. Even if you don't have the precise nutrients for a cookie, you could just this once, use a generic cookie from the database for your diary entry.

    I have been avoiding the judgement of others by being on a sort of stealth diet. Few people outside my household know I'm trying to lose weight. My public eating appears entirely normal because, if I have to, I can allow for whatever it is by adjusting my eating the rest of the day or week. The pounds are coming off slowly so It is only recently that others are begining to see that I have lost weight and I simply thank them for noticing. If they ask how I do it, I'll tell them but otherwise I keep it to myself. All they see is me enjoying a cookie like everyone else.

    Unless there is some kind of medical, biochemical, metabolical reason not to, eat the dang cookie!
  • GolfBird1
    GolfBird1 Posts: 57
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    I eat anything anyone offers me and I enjoy it fully.
    then I just go work it off.

    ^^^ yep, I do this too!
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Why are you "mentioning" your diet?

    If you don't want to eat something, just say "no thanks, I'm good".
    Sorry for my wording in the OP. I am not mentioning my diet when I refuse things, I mention something related to my diet (the fact that I don't desire to eat this food)

    Some have taken what I said as if I'm telling people I'm on a diet every time they offer me something - I'm not.
    The suggestion to just say "no thank you" and to not bring up my diet doesn't work - my friends and family all know I'm dieting already. I don't go over to my friend's home and inform them I'm on a diet - they already know.

    I see your point but I see their's too. Telling someone that in effect, "I don't choose to eat your food, I make better choices" is a bit of an insult to hosts, though family should be accepting of your diet.

    I agree with taking a "no thank you" portion. Take a little, try it, put it down, no hurt feelings. Most people pay no attention to what you actually eat, but a refused offer almost calls for an objection in our customs.
  • prettyface55
    prettyface55 Posts: 508 Member
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    Don't mention your diet. No one wants to hear about your diet. A polite no thank you with no offer of explanation is sufficient.


    In my experience, this ^^^^^is the best answere!
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Don't mention your diet. No one wants to hear about your diet. A polite no thank you with no offer of explanation is sufficient.

    ^^^^ this

    because when you say "no thank you I'm on a diet" to people who are not being particularly careful about what they eat, they take it to mean "I really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY want some, but I'm being forced, shackled even, to this horrific diet regime that's depriving and torturing me and I need to be rescued, and by rescued, I mean I need you to give me *permission* to break my diet." - and so they try to help you by giving you permission to eat them "you know it's okay to cheat sometimes" "oh, just one won't hurt" etc

    however if you say something like "not now thanks, I've just eaten" or "I'm not hungry, maybe later" or even "no thanks" then those kinds of things are generally taken at face value. Even if they give you one to eat later, you can always discreetly dispose of it later rather than eating it. They'll usually forget to ask you about it, if they did (because it was some homemade thing they're really proud of or something) then you can just tell them it was lovely (you're not technically lying either, because it was still lovely whether you actually ate it or not...)

    so anyway, yeah, don't mention that you're on a diet, find some really dull reason why you don't want to eat that thing right now.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    If someone offers you a cookie, take it, ask where the bin is and make sure they watch you put it in.

    Job done. Or when they ask you to jump, do you ask how high?
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    I agree with everybody else. Don't talk about your diet or weight loss.

    You can also use a sense of humor to say no in a million different ways.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I don't feel the need to elaborate on why...I just politely decline or have a cookie if I feel like it.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    I was almost through Thanksgiving dinner and SO's aunt asked me about my portion size. I told her portion control was how I handle my sex addiction. She didn't say anything about it again.

    Love it!

    Nobody gives me a hard time about food but they do compliment me on how great I look.

    A few have said, "do t get too skinny, now," and I just laugh and say, "no chance of that."
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    How do I stop this and why does this happen?

    Stop talking about your diet.

    If other people bring it up, criticize what they are eating. They won't like it, and they will take the hint.
  • bob_day
    bob_day Posts: 87
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    I usually say, "Thanks but no, I watch my calories like a hawk."
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    Am I the only one who just goes to friends and families homes and have a good time.... No one forces me to eat what I do not want to eat and because they are my friends and family they know better than to try and force anything upon me that is after all my decision. Now having said that I don't want to be rude going over there and say no to there hospitality so if I know I am going I will adjust my calories saving a majority of them for that particular meal and still portion out what I believe to be an amount that fits within my plan and eat it and be done.... After all this isn't like any everyday occurrence so it is like any other day and can be preplanned and worked in only difference is I can not weigh out anything but it is only one meal and that will not make or break anything in the grand scheme of things..... Atleast that is my take...... Best of Luck

    Yes, it's just you. :heart:
  • dextersgramps
    dextersgramps Posts: 39 Member
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    I just usually say no thank you,I couldn`t eat another thing or too many sweets bother my stomach.most people will respect your reply and say no more
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    if you exchanged the word "cookie" for "money" this thread would have gone entirely differently. :tongue:
  • Otrogen
    Otrogen Posts: 65
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    Crabs in a barrel is all I have to say. It's a cringeworthy thing to have to deal with, but deal with it we do. Those people aren't interested in climbing out of the craphole they've created for themselves with bad eating, and they don't like to see others gain the strength to do it either. You're subsequently labeled "weird", "awkward", even, amusingly, "unhealthy" when you shirk the eating habits everybody else has picked up and go a different way for the sake of your health. It's BS, but it happens, and 99% of people who've ever lost a significant amount of weight have seen it happen, I guarantee it. I get the looks and the comments at work because the floor I work on is jokingly labeled the "Big Girls Floor" due to the fact that 75% of the ladies I work with are obese. There is always a snack going around, and I am always saying no. I get picked on for eating salads for lunch.

    Yes, there's a lot of social implications to it, but if they really loved you and respected your goals, they'd get over their own negativity and understand that you've got a path in mind and their cookie is just a little bit too far off that path for your comfort. My family has never tried to pull me down with statements like that, luckily for me, and I've lost about 140 lbs now with their support. Inspired by my weight loss, many of them have lost significant amounts of weight as well. We're all proud of each other :3.
  • Pritree
    Pritree Posts: 24 Member
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    Crabs in a barrel is all I have to say. It's a cringeworthy thing to have to deal with, but deal with it we do. Those people aren't interested in climbing out of the craphole they've created for themselves with bad eating, and they don't like to see others gain the strength to do it either. You're subsequently labeled "weird", "awkward", even, amusingly, "unhealthy" when you shirk the eating habits everybody else has picked up and go a different way for the sake of your health. It's BS, but it happens, and 99% of people who've ever lost a significant amount of weight have seen it happen, I guarantee it. I get the looks and the comments at work because the floor I work on is jokingly labeled the "Big Girls Floor" due to the fact that 75% of the ladies I work with are obese. There is always a snack going around, and I am always saying no. I get picked on for eating salads for lunch.

    Yes, there's a lot of social implications to it, but if they really loved you and respected your goals, they'd get over their own negativity and understand that you've got a path in mind and their cookie is just a little bit too far off that path for your comfort. My family has never tried to pull me down with statements like that, luckily for me, and I've lost about 140 lbs now with their support. Inspired by my weight loss, many of them have lost significant amounts of weight as well. We're all proud of each other :3.

    I agree with this post. People like to have company when they are indulging so they don't feel as bad. Don't fall for it!! Unless you want to, of course. Be true to the diet you want to have and don't feel bad if you don't want to eat something. I get a lot of crap from people about my dietary choices, and I've learned to just tune it out because they are only criticizing me because my diet is different from theirs. It's your body - do whatever you feel is right for you! Good luck!
  • docktor8991
    docktor8991 Posts: 5 Member
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    just say you're allergic, they won't ask again

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