I keep failing... I need support!!!

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Hey everyone. I'm new to the whole MFP community thing and I'm trying this out in hopes that it will finally give me the motivation I need to lose weight. I've been trying to lose about 30 pounds for like 4 years now. But I keep failing:( I've tried everything and although I've never completely given up i seriously need some support. If anyone would like to be my weight loss buddy please let me know!!! My friends and family aren't very supportive... they just don't understand what I'm going through. So I'm hoping to find some people to relate with and to help each other on our journeys to success!! Thank you!!!

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  • PinkCoconut
    PinkCoconut Posts: 655 Member
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    I've totally been there so feel free to friend me!

    What helped me out FINALLY was having a strong "why". WHY do you want to do this? It's not going to be easy and may take longer than you think so you want to have a really strong reason for doing it. A common misperception is that weight loss in and of itself is a perfectly good motivator but if that were the case, none of us would be here. Having an emotional connection is much more effective. For me, it was after I took a good look at my future and the health of my relatives. I'd been overweight since I was a kid and already had high cholesterol at 26 years old, I knew that if I kept going the way I was, I'd probably die of a heart attack by the time I was 40. Also, my older relatives all have weight issues and I had been seeing them get diabetes (which does NOT run in our family), resort to gastric bypass surgery because they felt so helpless and one of my aunts was using a walker in her 50's because she had such bad physical health! That was NOT something I wanted for myself and it all scared the crap out of me so much that I made the decision right then and there to do whatever it took to get healthy!

    I hope that helps!
  • elleloch
    elleloch Posts: 739 Member
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    I agree with PinkCoconut about having a WHY. Write that down, and stick it somewhere you'll see it every day - maybe even in a place where you find yourself being weak, like on your fridge or pantry door or at your desk at work. Remind yourself every single day why you want this for yourself. It helps to keep you focused.

    Add me if you want! I love having committed friends!
  • bbubb1
    bbubb1 Posts: 63 Member
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    Hi my name is Barb Feel free to add me!!!!!
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
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    The first thing I advice you to do is stop seeing yourself as a failure! Negative self image wont help you in any way.
  • Ldbg289
    Ldbg289 Posts: 236 Member
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    First of all, if you are still in the fight, you haven't truly failed, you've just found ways that might not have worked but that doesn't mean there are not other ways to your goal. That being said, you can add me if you want and I'll try to support you where I can. oh btw I'll be around for a while because although my ticker shows I'm almost at goal, that is just my small goal, my ultimate goal is 75 to 85 pounds lost.
  • GingerLolita
    GingerLolita Posts: 738 Member
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    The reason is definitely important. I used to just want to get skinny, but now I've shifted my focus to wanting to be healthier, which helps me to stay on-track with healthy eating and physical activity when I'm not seeing that weight loss on the scale for a bit.
  • QuirkyD
    QuirkyD Posts: 68 Member
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    Do you drink a lot? I ask because of your picture. I socialize A TON and although I try try to keep my alcohol consumption down, it is an uphill battle, to say the least. Alcohol certainly sabotages my fitness effort. My new year's goal will be to prioritize my social calendar and say no more. Also I am going to make more plans with the few teetotaler friends that I have.
  • clambert1273
    clambert1273 Posts: 840 Member
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    I think a key misconception in weight loss (or anything else) is "motivation". I don't think it requires much motivation - just lots of discipline :)

    You have to do something for yourself and not anyone else. Noone else can get you to the finish line. I have tried (half heartedly) for many years to lose weight. I had to take a LONG look at myself to even admit that I didn't really "try". I would drastically change my eating and go full force exercising then say forget it!

    This time was different. I researched a lot, found out what I wanted and why I wanted it and started there. I have made friends here (and they are fantastic support) but my failure/success doesn't rely on them - it is only me. I discovered that I don't have to determine "good" or "bad" foods - I eat everything. I didn't deprive myself with low cal/low fat/ low carb "diets" .. I just count my calories and stay within my limits no matter what I eat :)

    You can do this - set your mind - Mind over Matter ... always wins :)