How do you learn to love your body through all of this?

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misstrish95
misstrish95 Posts: 8
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone!

I've come across this question a lot during my journey. Everyone says the first step to successfully losing and keeping off weight is to love and accept your body. However, every minute through my weight loss was fueled by loathing my body and myself for letting it get to that point. This led to a lot of unhealthy, physically draining, and mentally crippling habits.

The obsessive habits I acquired during that time aren't nearly as bad anymore, but I do feel robbed of my self-esteem. Ironically enough, I felt more beautiful before losing all the weight then I do now! Even though logically I know I look much better. But when I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, cellulite, and stretch marks. And I find whenever I start feeling confident again, I reach a content-ness with my body and go back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I want so desperately to find a balance.

I have about 20 pounds more to lose before I reach my ultimate goal weight and I finally want to answer this question and achieve happiness with my body. I want to be able to continue losing weight but I also want to be able to look in the mirror and to love what I see right there in front of me. But it seems so difficult to me when I work so hard all week desperately trying to alter it.

So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?
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Replies

  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    Hi everyone!

    I've come across this question a lot during my journey. Everyone says the first step to successfully losing and keeping off weight is to love and accept your body. However, every minute through my weight loss was fueled by loathing my body and myself for letting it get to that point. This led to a lot of unhealthy, physically draining, and mentally crippling habits.

    The obsessive habits I acquired during that time aren't nearly as bad anymore, but I do feel robbed of my self-esteem. Ironically enough, I felt more beautiful before losing all the weight then I do now! Even though logically I know I look much better. But when I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, cellulite, and stretch marks. And I find whenever I start feeling confident again, I reach a content-ness with my body and go back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I want so desperately to find a balance.

    I have about 20 pounds more to lose before I reach my ultimate goal weight and I finally want to answer this question and achieve happiness with my body. I want to be able to continue losing weight but I also want to be able to look in the mirror and to love what I see right there in front of me. But it seems so difficult to me when I work so hard all week desperately trying to alter it.

    So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?

    I think a lot of it is picking out little things that you DO like.

    I have muscles in my arms now

    My legs are big, but they are toned

    I no longer have "back boobs"

    my butt is no longer flat

    I still have love handles, but I am starting to see muscles in my belly.
  • aetzkorn14
    aetzkorn14 Posts: 169 Member
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    I didn't like the way I was, and hated that I got to that point but I never loathed over it. It does zero good. Every change I see motivates me to keep on because I love the changes that I have seen. Am I 100% happy with everything, I still have a long way to go but I accept every change 100%.
  • misstrish95
    misstrish95 Posts: 8
    Options
    Hi everyone!

    I've come across this question a lot during my journey. Everyone says the first step to successfully losing and keeping off weight is to love and accept your body. However, every minute through my weight loss was fueled by loathing my body and myself for letting it get to that point. This led to a lot of unhealthy, physically draining, and mentally crippling habits.

    The obsessive habits I acquired during that time aren't nearly as bad anymore, but I do feel robbed of my self-esteem. Ironically enough, I felt more beautiful before losing all the weight then I do now! Even though logically I know I look much better. But when I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, cellulite, and stretch marks. And I find whenever I start feeling confident again, I reach a content-ness with my body and go back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I want so desperately to find a balance.

    I have about 20 pounds more to lose before I reach my ultimate goal weight and I finally want to answer this question and achieve happiness with my body. I want to be able to continue losing weight but I also want to be able to look in the mirror and to love what I see right there in front of me. But it seems so difficult to me when I work so hard all week desperately trying to alter it.

    So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?

    I think a lot of it is picking out little things that you DO like.

    I have muscles in my arms now

    My legs are big, but they are toned

    I no longer have "back boobs"

    my butt is no longer flat

    I still have love handles, but I am starting to see muscles in my belly.

    That's so true!! Unfortunately for me, I've been at a plateau at my current weight for some time now so I forget what it is that I've improved/lost. I wish I took before/after pictures so I would be able to see all of the work paying off :/
  • misstrish95
    misstrish95 Posts: 8
    Options
    I didn't like the way I was, and hated that I got to that point but I never loathed over it. It does zero good. Every change I see motivates me to keep on because I love the changes that I have seen. Am I 100% happy with everything, I still have a long way to go but I accept every change 100%.

    That's such a great attitude to have towards all of this! And it's true, hating your body does nothing but weigh you down and make the journey a hundred times harder.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Hi everyone!

    I've come across this question a lot during my journey. Everyone says the first step to successfully losing and keeping off weight is to love and accept your body. However, every minute through my weight loss was fueled by loathing my body and myself for letting it get to that point. This led to a lot of unhealthy, physically draining, and mentally crippling habits.

    The obsessive habits I acquired during that time aren't nearly as bad anymore, but I do feel robbed of my self-esteem. Ironically enough, I felt more beautiful before losing all the weight then I do now! Even though logically I know I look much better. But when I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, cellulite, and stretch marks. And I find whenever I start feeling confident again, I reach a content-ness with my body and go back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I want so desperately to find a balance.

    I have about 20 pounds more to lose before I reach my ultimate goal weight and I finally want to answer this question and achieve happiness with my body. I want to be able to continue losing weight but I also want to be able to look in the mirror and to love what I see right there in front of me. But it seems so difficult to me when I work so hard all week desperately trying to alter it.

    So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?

    age has helped me, finding a partner, starting to establish a family. Working through the demons accepting I'm not perfect I'm just me. I cant change it this is the body I have for better or worse. I can try to honor it better and not destroy it. Acceptance.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    I haven't and probably won't.
  • Melionfire
    Melionfire Posts: 343 Member
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    I never really hated my body but I was not fully comfortable with it!!! As I lose and make the healthy choices to achieve my goals I am starting to find certain things that I love!! A lot of it is not related to my body shape but my increased strength and stamina but I must say that I love how squats and lunges have transformed my butt!!! I sometimes stare at it in the mirror because it has changed so much!!! You do have to eventually learn to love yourself or more so be confident in your own skin but most of us are trying to make changes because we were no longer happy with ourselves. I am not saying all because I don't want to generalize and I know there are some that never felt this way!! Just keep telling yourself that what you are doing it is worth it and don't focus on the negatives!! Find the positives and use those to fuel you!!!
  • Betty_Canada
    Betty_Canada Posts: 85 Member
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    "Love Your Body More in Three Simple Steps" - Ragen Chastain
    http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/love-your-body-more/

    Note: She said SIMPLE, not EASY. But I've been working with this principle for about six months now, and it helps me a lot.

    =Betty=
  • kemaru22
    kemaru22 Posts: 5 Member
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    I often feel very similar to you!! You aren't alone. I do agree with the one post about loving certain aspects of your body though. I know for me its hard bc I have met my goal and I feel small but those damn stretch marks are a constant reminder of where I came from. While they can be embarrassing when wearing a bikini but I can't change that about me, it happened to my body and I can only move forward from it. I also find that when i reach my goal I get too comfortable and Ill gain 5 lbs back and then I have to lose them again. Every step I take is in the right direction though, even if theres a couple slip ups along the way. I am constantly learning new things about my new eating habits and about myself and what my body will allow (or won't allow) me to get away with. Keep on doing what you're doing and you're self esteem will come back! Mine slowly is anyway! Changing your body is a huge adjustment so your brain just has to catch up with it and also change to suit it.
    :D
    all the best
  • bbg_daryl
    bbg_daryl Posts: 150 Member
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    That's so true!! Unfortunately for me, I've been at a plateau at my current weight for some time now so I forget what it is that I've improved/lost. I wish I took before/after pictures so I would be able to see all of the work paying off :/

    tumblr_m7nyqunANL1rziwwco1_400.gif

    This is currently my story. I've been in a plateau for 2 months now and was getting extremely discouraged. It got to a point where I was seriously contemplating starvation and had a sobbing breakdown in front of my husband and mother. But the next day I did a progress picture. In both pictures I weigh 185 pounds, but the new one shows a significant loss of inches. I didn't notice in my day to day activities that I had trimmed down. I now wish I had down measurements of my waist, booty, bust, etc in inches.

    Instead of looking only at the scale, try taking pictures now. Then in a month or so, take more. And repeat. Also, pay attention to how your clothes are fitting. You might be losing fat and gaining muscle without realizing!
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
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    I pick things I do like. The curve of my hip, the new narrowness of my waist, even though it is still thicker than I wish. The firmness of my thigh muscles, even though the inner thigh is still flabby. Feel the shape of your newly uncovered collar bones, the softness of your skin. Feel the strength in your new body and know you are almost there.

    Find an activity for exercise that you love and look forward to, and it will help you learn to love your body. As you meet your fitness goals, you will love it.
  • katznkt
    katznkt Posts: 320 Member
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    Stop comparing yourself to others? I don't know. I appreciate my body each and every day I take a step without pain. Every time I look at the kids my body sacrificed itself for ( well, ok, most of the days. .. Some times they make me wonder what I was thinking.).

    There are too many people in this world who don't have a body as healthy as mine for me to complain about a little excess baggage along for the ride. Especially when my kick butt body is doing it's part to dump it. :)
  • SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants
    SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants Posts: 474 Member
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    I relate to this..I have asked myself many times when will I be happy? After plastic surgery??? LOL..Self love really does come from within. I want to be "perfect" but Ive met perfect people,,,and they aren't happy either. Find your joy. I can see from your picture that you are very beautiful..but Im also guessing that you're beautiful inside..your writing showed that..Its ok to have moments of doubt, but do not feed that energy..its useless, can bring nothing good. You need to fight for your goals, fight for your dreams. Tell the critics in your head to shut up and sit down! xo
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Options
    Hi everyone!

    I've come across this question a lot during my journey. Everyone says the first step to successfully losing and keeping off weight is to love and accept your body. However, every minute through my weight loss was fueled by loathing my body and myself for letting it get to that point. This led to a lot of unhealthy, physically draining, and mentally crippling habits.

    The obsessive habits I acquired during that time aren't nearly as bad anymore, but I do feel robbed of my self-esteem. Ironically enough, I felt more beautiful before losing all the weight then I do now! Even though logically I know I look much better. But when I look in the mirror all I see is the fat, cellulite, and stretch marks. And I find whenever I start feeling confident again, I reach a content-ness with my body and go back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I want so desperately to find a balance.

    I have about 20 pounds more to lose before I reach my ultimate goal weight and I finally want to answer this question and achieve happiness with my body. I want to be able to continue losing weight but I also want to be able to look in the mirror and to love what I see right there in front of me. But it seems so difficult to me when I work so hard all week desperately trying to alter it.

    So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?

    I think a lot of it is picking out little things that you DO like.

    I have muscles in my arms now

    My legs are big, but they are toned

    I no longer have "back boobs"

    my butt is no longer flat

    I still have love handles, but I am starting to see muscles in my belly.

    That's so true!! Unfortunately for me, I've been at a plateau at my current weight for some time now so I forget what it is that I've improved/lost. I wish I took before/after pictures so I would be able to see all of the work paying off :/

    I've been taking monthly progress pictures since February. It has definitely helped since I have only lost 6lbs in the past year.
  • SuperCrsa
    SuperCrsa Posts: 790 Member
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    Bump to see some of the responses.
    I would also like to get a few tips on how to Love my body NOW regardless of how it looks..

    Edit to add i dont really like the idea of waiting for an ideal body to love yours, because half the time you put value on an ideal weight or goal and when you get there you are left a little bit empty because the self love isnt there..
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    What did you like about your body before you started? I bet it looks even better now. Personally, I could never lose weight until I accepted myself the way I was. I had to love what was there and then improve on it. When I used to diet because I hated my body and how I looked I got discouraged quickly and gave up. Now I love myself enough to take care of me and not give up. I like to se a new muscle bulge or my abs trying to show themselves when I suck in my gut. Try to see the positive and work with that not fight against a negative.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Options
    I must say, sometimes what we love about our bodies isn't something you can see.

    I love that I can walk 3mph at 15% incline. When I first started 2mph at 1% incline had me dripping in sweat, and I could only do 30 min.

    I love getting on a weight machine after a man, and having to increase the weight...or having a man tell me the weight is too heavy, then proving him wrong!

    I love that I have managed to drop 2 asthma meds, AND not have a flare for a year now.
  • sreed016
    sreed016 Posts: 97 Member
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    I am having the same issue right now too.

    I recently noticed that my back fat has melted away - yay!!!

    But now I feel like all the weight I lost has slid down and settled into a spare tire just below my belly button that I never had before.

    I can't stand the way it looks and the way it makes my clothes fit.

    I know in my mind that this is just a transition stage and I will get through it but right now it is hard to love my body.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    I focus on HEALTH.

    I'm trying to improve myself; we've been trying to conceive for 5 years now, with no luck. I have to be healthier to carry a baby while treating high blood pressure and keeping control of my diabetes.

    And if I end up not able to have children, then I have to be healthy for me.
  • hillcontessa
    hillcontessa Posts: 11 Member
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    So my question is: How can you learn to fully love and accept every part of your body when you are working so hard to change it?

    Thank you for this. Even without getting the response you want to hear, its so nice to know that you are not alone in the struggle. There are so many things I love about having a "new" (and I use that term loosely) body...I mean the prominent muscle definition and the shear power from muscle gain blows my mind. But what about the "other" stuff? You know the flat belly, the slim arms, blah blah blah...

    However, progress is great...change is inspiring. So good luck moving forward and stand tall. Be proud that, physically speaking, you're probably better off today than you were yesterday.

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