Trying to be nicer to me

I was a lost soul in college... I was dating a jerk for 4 and a half years and stopped taking care of myself. I was downright disgusted with myself and felt like I wasn't good enough at anything, even existing. I took a course in college called Psychology of Religion. We had to read a few religious/self-help type books. I'm an atheist but these books helped me anyway. Substitute the word "God" for "nature" or "greater good" and it spoke just as well to me. I ate up the life advice being offered, ended up giving away most of my stuff and somehow developed a new outlook on life. I've been happier ever since. When I start to feel down, I page through those books and feel almost instantly better. I'll go run to the bookcase and edit some titles in here for you.

ETA: I moved a couple of months ago and can't seem to find most of the books... I could only find one called Thank You For Being Such a Pain... but that's not really about yourself, it's about others.

From observing myself and others, I realize that people change so much as they grow. I am a lot different now than 5 years ago and unrecognizable from my teenage self. I think that if you stop wanting to be somebody you WERE and focus on figuring out who you ARE then you may discover a lot of good things about yourself. I wish I had some advice on how to do it, but if you stop putting yourself down and just focus on being the best version of who you currently are you may find it easier to be happy with yourself. Who you WERE doesn't matter much anymore and who you ARE is only temporary. Once you figure out who you are now, you can look to the future at who you want to be and make it happen.

If you're not against speaking to a psychologist and you have the money, I encourage you to seek one out. They can be incredibly helpful when it comes to figuring out happiness. There's such a nasty stigma about seeking professional help, but we all need somebody to talk to sometimes and there's nothing wrong with talking to somebody who is trained in how emotions work and how the human brain adjusts to life. I loved going to therapy. It helped me sort a LOT of issues out. Some things I didn't even realize were holding me back until I blurted them all out one day.

It REALLY sucks to feel lost and it's really easy to look at the good times in our past and wish we still had them, but the future isn't set in stone. You can make it what you want.

Tao of Inner Peace helped me when I was going through a rough patch in life.

I went through a major low time in my life starting about 4 years ago, and it just almost ended. It only ended because I finally realized that living unhappy was not really living at all. In fact, i think I've been depressed most of my life, yet I always have been resilient, so maybe it's that I've been aware since early in my life about my setbacks but I tend to work hard for everything I have, yet my weight is something I always let go of. It seems, sometimes I'll never get a grip on it, but I'm re-starting my commitment now!
I feel very much like you, I read so many blogs, advice columns, anxiety books, etc. I try everyday to think of things I'm grateful for, I say a little prayer and hope for the best.