Teaching children about weight and nutrition
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jr235
Posts: 201 Member
I've really been thinking about this a lot, and I wonder what other people are doing with their kids. My daughter almost 3, so I have awhile to go before she has any control over her food.
I feel like nutrition is easy enough with children, especially when they are small. Its not like she has money or can go out by herself to get any food. We don't keep any junk food in the house besides some microwave popcorn, and on the weekend we will get a bit for our weekly movie night. Besides that she eats what we eat during meals and is allowed one snack between meals. I am not too strict. We get pizza a few times a month and if we go grocery shopping she is allowed a small bag of crisps or a candy bar.
So now its easy, but at some point I will have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight to her.
One thing I really regret not being done with me is having a scale in the house. During my teens and early 20s my weight was fluctuating by about 20-30 lbs. At 30lbs I clued in, but before that I had no idea. I guess because I was never overweight no one ever said anything to me, or maybe because weight is such a sensitive topic. I am rather tall and tend to wear my clothes loose, so I just didn't notice or was in denial, but in pictures I can absolutely see it. I know a lot on here don't believe in the scale, but I do. For me it a tools to keep on track. That mental push of "I'm going to weigh myself and don't want to see a gain!" is huge for me.
I'm really in two minds about it. I'm worried getting a teenager a scale would set them up for a dysfunctional relationship with their weight, especially if they are still growing and gaining weight as a result of that.
On that note I also really wish it was ok to say to someone "hey, you've put on a bit of weight you may want to watch that", and that we lived in a society where it wouldn't be taken as a criticism but as a gesture of caring. And I'm speaking from experience here. When my husband told me I was putting on weight before I hit my highest (nonpregnant) weight I absolutely took it as a criticism and was very upset.
So what does everyone else think? How do you address weight and nutrition with your children and family?
I feel like nutrition is easy enough with children, especially when they are small. Its not like she has money or can go out by herself to get any food. We don't keep any junk food in the house besides some microwave popcorn, and on the weekend we will get a bit for our weekly movie night. Besides that she eats what we eat during meals and is allowed one snack between meals. I am not too strict. We get pizza a few times a month and if we go grocery shopping she is allowed a small bag of crisps or a candy bar.
So now its easy, but at some point I will have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight to her.
One thing I really regret not being done with me is having a scale in the house. During my teens and early 20s my weight was fluctuating by about 20-30 lbs. At 30lbs I clued in, but before that I had no idea. I guess because I was never overweight no one ever said anything to me, or maybe because weight is such a sensitive topic. I am rather tall and tend to wear my clothes loose, so I just didn't notice or was in denial, but in pictures I can absolutely see it. I know a lot on here don't believe in the scale, but I do. For me it a tools to keep on track. That mental push of "I'm going to weigh myself and don't want to see a gain!" is huge for me.
I'm really in two minds about it. I'm worried getting a teenager a scale would set them up for a dysfunctional relationship with their weight, especially if they are still growing and gaining weight as a result of that.
On that note I also really wish it was ok to say to someone "hey, you've put on a bit of weight you may want to watch that", and that we lived in a society where it wouldn't be taken as a criticism but as a gesture of caring. And I'm speaking from experience here. When my husband told me I was putting on weight before I hit my highest (nonpregnant) weight I absolutely took it as a criticism and was very upset.
So what does everyone else think? How do you address weight and nutrition with your children and family?
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Replies
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Personally I think you just have to model correct nutrition, and also exercise. My kids are 4.5 and 2.5 so obviously still at an age where they eat what we make, and eat at set times.
We all sit together to eat, which I think is important. No meals in front of the TV! My husband does shift work so isn't always there, but either the 3 or 4 of us sit down at the kitchen table for meals.
I make sure I don't obsess over calories in front of them. I always make healthy meals. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks we'll get a take-away curry. I don't particularly like pizza, nor do the kids, but my husband likes to get Dominos occasionally. And sometimes he'll get fish and chips, which the kids do like. This is rare though.
We have some chocs at home now as it's Xmas, but they're kept out of reach, and the kids are allowed a couple after dinner, then the tin goes back!
They know I go to the gym a lot, and they also enjoy being active. My husband was doing P90X a while ago and they were copying him. I take them out on their scooters a lot.
My son is at school now, so he has breakfast at home (egg and beans, or porridge, or shreddies occasionally) , a piece of fruit at break, a tuna or ham sandwich and a yogurt at lunch, then something like chicken or fish and veg for dinner. I don't usually give him an after school snack as he won't be hungry for his dinner then. My 2.5 year old is at nursery 3 days a week, when I work, so she gets all her food there on those days.
I don't ever make the kids anything different to what we're having, so they know we all eat the same.
I just think it's important that kids grow up seeing us eat healthy, balanced meals with an occasional treat, and that they see being active as part of everyday life.
If any of my kids (I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with no. 3) has a weight problem when they're older, then I'd make an effort to get them more active, or stop treats at home or something. I'm hoping that they won't have weight problems though as I think I know quite a bit about eating healthily.0 -
Its nice to meet another mom who doesn't make her kids separate meals. Most of the moms I know do that, and sometimes I get the impression they think I am a bit of a slacker for not doing the same. We also eat all of our meals at the table, and generally pretty healthy.
My daughter used to be a bit picky, but cutting down on her snacks helped tremendously with that. She does get an afternoon snack, which I'm not crazy about, but she doesn't eat much lunch at nursery because she is a very slow eater on top of being distracted by the other kids. But overall the quality of her food is quite good and she is a very active child.
I'm not totally convinced though that setting a good example is enough. If so then why would there be such a rise in obesity in the last decade?0 -
i make it all about health, and what the body needs each nutrient for (protein for growing and healing, fat for their brains and energy, vitamin D for their bones, etc) I'm totally downplaying the connection between diet and weight, because I have two girls and eating disorders are appearing in younger and younger girls these days, so it's just not worth the risk. A healthy diet is about far, far more than just whether you are fat or thin. Additionally, I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that aesthetics is more important than health. Hence the focus when I teach them about healthy eating, is on health. It also includes dental health, because a good reason for kids not to snack on sugary things all day is it leads to tooth decay. And this combined with encouraging them to do physical activity, obesity shouldn't happen so there's no reason to scare them with things like "don't eat x you'll get fat" which a) doesn't promote a healthy relationship with food and b) isn't true anyway, because getting fat is the result if eating more than you burn off, not eating specific foods.
Also, I'm not puritanical about healthy eating. I know a lot of cases where the parents were very strict about so-called "unhealthy" foods and once the kids got old enough to make their own food choices, they went OTT on all the foods they were not allowed when they were younger, and quickly got into unhealthy eating habits. IMO learning to enjoy everything in moderation (i,e, without going OTT) is a vital life skill, and so I let my kids have all the so-called unhealthy foods, but as part of a balanced diet where the main focus is on getting food from all the food groups. In terms of education, I focus on them understanding why their body needs each of the nutrients, and the concept that too much of anything can be bad for you and the concept of a balanced diet, rather than demonising specific foods and banning them.
Also I very much agree with modelling good nutrition not just teaching it. "Do what I say, not what I do" absolutely does *not* work with children. They want what you're eating and if you're telling them to eat more vegetables while you're eating a diet of dessert foods and no vegetables, then the message they get is "we're supposed to eat vegetables, but they suck and people prefer to eat dessert foods instead".0 -
I don't have kids (yet), but I care massively about what kids are fed. I have about 70/80 students and some of their eating habits sadden me a lot. For the most part they eat so much processed food lacking in nutrients, and often have "substitute" fruit and vegetables (juice, fruit roll ups, tinned/packaged fruit etc).
I would focus more on nutrition choices and not weight. Getting them to understand that they need nutrient dense foods - good protein, fats and fresh fruit and vegies - to have a healthy body, so they can run faster, play better, not get sick, concentrate better at school etc. "Sometimes" foods are just that, and food should not be a treat...kids aren't dogs or trash cans!!
Staying active, playing sports and just moving in general (as opposed to sitting in front of a device/computer) needs to be encouraged too - so many think that a whole weekend inside playing a computer game is ok!! What happened to the days where we'd go out and make up games for hours? Climb trees? Ride bikes?
I never knew about how important food was to health until I was about 28. We were never taught why! I wish I'd known, i also wish my "healthy " mother hasn't been so lenient and let me have treats every day, or given in when I wouldn't eat whatever did she had prepared...0 -
So now its easy, but at some point I will have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight to her.
Why? If you lead by example and are feeding her good food and showing her good habits you will never have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight. All of these threads about kids weight and nutrition are setting us up from being a nation of obesity to a nation of eatting disorders.
Bottom line , she will do what you show her. Lead by example.0 -
Its nice to meet another mom who doesn't make her kids separate meals. Most of the moms I know do that, and sometimes I get the impression they think I am a bit of a slacker for not doing the same. We also eat all of our meals at the table, and generally pretty healthy.
My daughter used to be a bit picky, but cutting down on her snacks helped tremendously with that. She does get an afternoon snack, which I'm not crazy about, but she doesn't eat much lunch at nursery because she is a very slow eater on top of being distracted by the other kids. But overall the quality of her food is quite good and she is a very active child.
I'm not totally convinced though that setting a good example is enough. If so then why would there be such a rise in obesity in the last decade?
Why do they think you're a slacker for not making separate meals? There's no reason why kids can't eat what we eat, unless we're having something super spicy! My kids will eat Thai curry and chilli and things like that though.
When my daughter started eating solids, I used to just purée our meals, things like casseroles, lasagne, shepherd's pie etc (it was winter then). Neither of my kids ever had pre-prepared food from jars.
My son wasn't a good eater until he started school. Not that he wouldn't try things, he'd just eat very, very little. I've no idea how he grew so tall! Now he's brilliant and eats a god amount. I never make him finish his plate though if he's full. My daughter was the opposite - she started off eating really well, and now barely eats. Although apparently at nursery she does!
I think setting an example is enough for now. When my kids get older I will explain why we don't eat too many crisps, choc bars etc. I suppose I explain that a bit now, just say too much chocolate isn't good for you, but a bit is ok. I'll explain more about protein, carbs etc when they can understand that.
I also think teaching your kids that it's ok not to finish their meals is good. You can still become overweight if you eat big portions of healthy food after all!0 -
I have an 11 year old son and an 8 year old daughter so these things absolutely come up. I don't talk about weight at all but we talk about health, nutrition and fitness a lot. They both play sports and are active so we tell them about how good that is to keep up. I also try and make nutritious meals that are well balanced so we talk about nutrients and fruits and vegetables, etc. Fortunately , their gym teacher at school talks about a lot of the same things so it's a repeated message for them. Sweets, while not given in mass quantities, are certainly not forbidden. They are just as much a part of life but they are told that there is a balance and healthy food comes first. They know mom, and now dad, go to the gym and exercise. To stay strong and healthy so it's about giving them a good example too.0
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I don't think you have a whole lot to worry about. It has always seemed to me that food is a habit. If you look at your own food intake, it's all based on habits. You eat all the same things you did when you were little, and you eat in a manner consistent with how you ate then. Don't get me wrong, we pick up other habits as we go too and many of us will try to change those habits over our lives. But if you start with the correct habits, it's much easier to keep those habits and prevent new (bad) ones than it is to fix bad habits and make new good ones.
You're already on the right track. And one day, when the little ones become teenagers, you have a chat with them. Don't tell them what they will do for the rest of their lives, just make them understand why they've eaten the way they have their entire lives so far.0 -
I struggle with this issue quite a bit. I have an overweight 12 year old daughter and an underweight 10 year old son. While I pack healthy lunches and cook healthy dinners, my husband gives in to the unhealthy afternoon snacks. He is a stay at home dad and keeps buying the garbage for snacks.
He and I had a heart to heart the other day about food choices and he promised that he would significantly limit the unhealthy after-school snacks. My daughter is in school from 7:15 - 2:00, and eats lunch so early that an afternoon snack is essential.
Our next battle is exercise. My son is insanely active, so that's not an issue. My daughter is way more sedentary and not into sports. However, she is starting to say things about her weight. So, we are looking for fun activities that she wants to try.
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I think it's a slippery slope, personally. If a kid knows too much about nutrition, they might start obsessing about what's healthy, being too fat etc... I think it's much healthier to teach everything in moderation and just give a good example (like saying no, you can't have another cookie, those are special treats, instead of 'those are bad for you'). The last thing I want is my 5yo to start demonizing food.
I do wonder though if seeing their mom weigh their food all the time is not just going to do just that though.0 -
Teach your child good eating habits and make sure she's active.
DO NOT give her a complex about her weight. Good gracious, what is wrong with people???0 -
Teach your child good eating habits and make sure she's active.
DO NOT give her a complex about her weight. Good gracious, what is wrong with people???
QFT!0 -
So now its easy, but at some point I will have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight to her.
Why? If you lead by example and are feeding her good food and showing her good habits you will never have to verbalize information about nutrition and weight. All of these threads about kids weight and nutrition are setting us up from being a nation of obesity to a nation of eatting disorders.
Bottom line , she will do what you show her. Lead by example.
So very much this.0 -
I don't pound it home with my kids yet, because they are 3yrs old, and 19 months old. I eat right, get primarily healthy food for the house, and explain in kid terms why certain thing are better to eat than others. I let them have cookies once in awhile, and other goodies. Usually baked by me personally, because then I know what goes in them
I teach them moderation, never let them eat because of boredom, and always encourage the healthy before the not as healthy. I also don't allow them to have not as healthy goodies before a healthy meal. :drinker: 0 -
Im an 18 year old girl and I just want to chip in because Ive just come back from uni to live with my parents and Ive been struggling for about 3 years now, and I dont think i can change.
Ever since year 10 when I became more in 'control' of what I was allowed to eat, ive developed a lovely disorder. I had the power to skip breakfast because my parents never cared what I did in the morning and I could lie, I could pretend I had cooked lunch at school, and then I could skip dinner by saying Ive already eaten or Ive had a big lunch.
I want parents to be more aware that teenage girls are very likely to want to lose weight in this day and age, you only have to look at soaps, magazines, celebrities and diets everywhere to know this is the influence we are bombarded with..
My parents are a bit obsessed too and I dont think they know it impacts me because im not very mentally strong when it comes to thoughts about food and weight, they weigh all the time, and they now dont eat carbs because they think theyre bad for you. Ive avoided carbs for years but the fact they are doing it now makes me feel even worse when I do eat carbs. They never know what I eat, I never eat with them and I rarely did and I think it didnt help me on the slipperly slope I was already on. Even when I lost tonnes of weight really quickly they didnt enforce anything. Ontop of that you never know what friends will be saying to your child at school - I had bad influences at school always talking about weight...And now I wont eat infront of anyone anyway so thats never going to happen - I am really not looking forwards towards a christmas day roast.
As a parent, or what i would say to my parents if I had the guts (which I dont) is make sure your child doesnt become obsessed or let them know youre there to talk to them. Because I doubt my parents know just how bad these thoughts in my head are and they are destroying me socially and mentally, (and probably physically but no-one will know that because I am a normal size.)
And your child is so young this wont matter for a long time, but I just feel emotional today so I thought I would post this.
Sorry for opening up like that haha
p.s I bought my own scale and every morning i weighed it determined my mood and what I ate for the day. I dont think scales are a very good thing to be honest, it should ultimately be about health and comfort in your own skin
I hope you all have a lovely christmas x0 -
Moderation in Moderation!
Speaking from my experience growing up..we ate around the table. Parents dictated what we ate. Usually a british roast (meat, veg and british gravy) with a takeaway or junk food being a treat or an occasion.
I hope when I get round to having kids ill be able to get them cooking at a young age, getting them fit and active and of course everything in moderation....including moderation haha0 -
The scale issue:
My family growing up had a scale in the master bathroom. It was my parents' bathroom and generally not used by us kids unless we had permission. We were "allowed" in the bathroom, but generally it wouldn't occur to us to go in there unless we needed something. This made me use the scale very infrequently.
Currently my brother has a weigh in day with his wife. I wonder if doing a family weigh in (maybe monthly) and tracking height/weight especially as children are growing might be a good way to have some interesting teachable moments.
I was overweight as a child and now I am working to have a healthy BMI. My parents didn't do anything wrong as they were active, had mostly healthy food around the house and modeled good choices. I needed an extra push, but I'm not sure what that push should have been. As I'm not a parent yet, I am more brainstorming than anything else.0 -
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:grumble:I wonder if doing a family weigh in (maybe monthly) and tracking height/weight especially as children are growing might be a good way to have some interesting teachable moments.0 -
I would be really careful about having a scale and weighing children or having them weighing themselves routinely. Weight really is not the important thing compared to fitness. You want your child to grow up feeling and being fit and active and not carrying too much fat. If they are that, then their weight doesn't matter.
My much much younger sister was a really athletic child. She ran more than she walked and was constantly on the go and played soccer (football) on various teams for 10 months every year from the time she was 4 years old. She easily out distanced all the children, girls and boys, in running at her elementary school and could swing like a monkey on any overhead bars. She had no excess fat, but also couldn't be called skinny or boney. She was athletic, strong and fit, and looked it.
One day she came home from school in tears. She had been teased all day by the other girls because their weights and heights had been printed out and she weighed more than a lot of them at the same height. The skinny girls, many of whom were very sedentary, school and television were their life, had been calling her "fat" all day and she couldn't deny the weight.
Luckily for her she had a lot of knowledgable people, even beyond her immediate family, who could assure her that she was exactly right for who she was and not fat at all.
Comparing weight can only tell you so much.0
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