Anyone Else Suffering With Obsession??
GrayJohn
Posts: 74
Hey Everyone.
So back in January this year I started out at 340lbs and feeling very unhappy with myself and the state I'd got myself in. The first few months into this journey were most definitely the hardest. Mood swings were rife as I was coming off junk food and alcohol. I've never been a drug user but I compare it to coming off heroin or similar. Maybe that's a bit extreme but same principal... you get the idea.
I got into the mind set of losing 70lbs when I first started out and as the months went by I found myself passing the 70lbs mark. I thought I may as well carry on as I was still enjoying the exercise and healthy food. A few months more went by and I'd set a goal of losing 100lbs in my head not knowing if that was do-able. I achieved this by August time. I was really happy and proud of myself for doing this.
In my head I was already thinking about the next goal. I dared to dream about losing 140lbs (10 stone) - my mindset shifted to that target and I'm now nearing that figure (5lbs off it) - my point is I'm worried I'm becoming too obsessed with weight loss. I'm not anorexic or anything like that. I still enjoy food and often have bad things one day per week. I'm worried about when I do reach my ultimate goal I'll set myself another one. Where will it stop. My wife has already said you need to stop after reaching the 140lbs mark.
It's a difficult situation, some of you may even say "what's his problem"?? but it's how I'm feeling. I am proud of doing this on my own, perhaps I'm too stubborn??
I've gone from a 48 inch waist to a 33 inch waist. A 58 inch chest to a 42 inch chest. I feel physically good but mentally I'm not so sure. I do think there are down sides to losing this much weight.
Thanks for reading.
GJ
So back in January this year I started out at 340lbs and feeling very unhappy with myself and the state I'd got myself in. The first few months into this journey were most definitely the hardest. Mood swings were rife as I was coming off junk food and alcohol. I've never been a drug user but I compare it to coming off heroin or similar. Maybe that's a bit extreme but same principal... you get the idea.
I got into the mind set of losing 70lbs when I first started out and as the months went by I found myself passing the 70lbs mark. I thought I may as well carry on as I was still enjoying the exercise and healthy food. A few months more went by and I'd set a goal of losing 100lbs in my head not knowing if that was do-able. I achieved this by August time. I was really happy and proud of myself for doing this.
In my head I was already thinking about the next goal. I dared to dream about losing 140lbs (10 stone) - my mindset shifted to that target and I'm now nearing that figure (5lbs off it) - my point is I'm worried I'm becoming too obsessed with weight loss. I'm not anorexic or anything like that. I still enjoy food and often have bad things one day per week. I'm worried about when I do reach my ultimate goal I'll set myself another one. Where will it stop. My wife has already said you need to stop after reaching the 140lbs mark.
It's a difficult situation, some of you may even say "what's his problem"?? but it's how I'm feeling. I am proud of doing this on my own, perhaps I'm too stubborn??
I've gone from a 48 inch waist to a 33 inch waist. A 58 inch chest to a 42 inch chest. I feel physically good but mentally I'm not so sure. I do think there are down sides to losing this much weight.
Thanks for reading.
GJ
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Replies
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You may not be in danger at the moment with anorexia etc but it could develop down the road. If you get to the point where you are healthy weight and still wanting more goals you might want to speak to a psychologist or a support group.
I also might recommend you repost tomorrow- seems like few people log in during the weekend but you might get some better answers on MOnday!0 -
I see you're at 205 pounds, that's no where near a dangerous weight. You are looking good and healthy and seem to be happier in your pictures!
Maybe once you reach your goal weight, try shifting your new goals from new weight loss numbers to a physical activity. Like your marathon. Or make a goal to benchpress X amount of weight or something like that. that would keep you goal minded, but not simply focused on losing pounds.0 -
I can totally see how you might feel this way. I've told myself for years I couldn't lose the weight I've lost ... and now that I'm nearing my second goal I'm already strategizing what the next goal should be. You never stop thinking ahead, and it seems that from the amount of weight you've lost that you've been extremely successful in reaching your goals and I commend you for what you've done. You will live a longer, healthier, and more satisfying life - and I consider you an inspiration at this point in my weight loss journey. I do agree, though, that once you reach your next goal you should likely start taking goals from a different perspective. Do the things in life you've never dreamed of doing ... be adventurous ... don't lose sight of the progress you've made by sliding backwards, but stop focusing on the number and change your strategy. FunkBunny had a great idea with changing your goals to be more achievement related than weight related, and I think that these goals will be satisfying and challenging enough to keep you motivated and fit at the same time.0
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I know how you feel. My husband and I have each lost 125 pounds which we never thought we could. We too continued to give ourselves new goals. But when my husband reached his weight goal instead of giving himself a new one he gave himself a new task...to build more muscle and GAIN swome muscle weight....maybe you could try this when you reach your goal??? That way you can still have a goal and excersise and be healthy but without focusing on losing weight??? Hope this is helpful=)0
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Try shifting your mindset to achieving a different goal like running a 1/2 marathon. Then your focus goes towards accomplshing a different goal instead of losing weight.0
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Unfortunately, I haven't had that problem for years, but at one time in my life, I had lost 50 lbs. and begin to look at people that were fat, and say "why don't lose weight", and feel so good about myself I would lose more. Until I had lost 75 lbs. I think you do get in a mindset and your body & brain team up together and you can get obsessive about the weight.. I went to a nutrition expert through a program at the hospital and it was free and she helped me level out and stabilize. Most hospital have free plans that help you in your journey so you can level out and stabilize.
I wish you luck and good job. I wish I was there again. I am on this journey again.0 -
Thank you all so much for the helpful advice - I'd never even considered some of the things suggested. Your all lovely. Thank you0
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First off let me just say 'Way To Go'! It's awesome that you have been able to lose the weight! I know how you're feeling mentally. I think that when you go from weighing so much to being just a normal weight that it's not just physical changes you need to make, but mental and emotional ones too. Maybe you should seek out a counselor to talk to.
As long as your not losing too much weight then you should be fine. Don't know if that helps.0 -
It sounds to me like you're just worried about taking your foot off the gas and it all going belly up! Maybe what you need to do is still monitor your weight, only instead of setting a new goal for LOSING weight, make the goal MAINTAINING the same weight (give or take a few pounds). That way you still always have a target but you avoid the danger of becoming too obsessed with food or weight loss. It's important to remember that you didn't just work this hard to be slim, you worked this hard to be healthy. And underweight isn't healthy. (I speak from experience as my sister is bulimic).
I hope this has helped. Always here if you need a chat.
XxX0 -
Thanks for the advice0
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i think i may be addicted to exercise. i don't remember the last time i had a day off. even if i don't work out hard, i do something for at least 30 minutes. yesterday was my day off. i ran 4 miles. WTH. i only need to trim my belly fat, but don't need to lose any more weight, but i'm still losing. now what?
wait, my last day off was oct. 17 and that's only because i was travelling that day. it's like brushing my teeth now, i just do it. i guess it's okay because my intensity levels vary???
i know how you feel with the where will it stop syndrome. i can't answer that one myself.0 -
Congratulations on losing so much weight! It may feel like you are being a little obsessive about your weight, but that's because you are accomplishing what you thought was impossible! And you can continue to lose more and not feel like you are torturing yourself. If this is something you are struggling with in your head, and if your wife thinks this is unhealthy, maybe it would pay off to see a doctor just to talk the situation over and make sure these are healthy steps you are taking to lose weight. Overall, it can be risky to use fat burning supplements or other appetite suppressants. But just taking the necessary steps to eat healthy and exercise will make the extra pounds melt away. I think it's a great idea to let yourself splurge once a week on the "bad stuff", it's easier to say no when the temptation comes around.
What kind of exercise do you do? Cardio or weight training? Both? I ask this because my suggestion would be if you feel like you are getting too skinny or if people comment that you are "gonna waste away to nothing", then you can combat that by just telling people this is all a well planned process of getting rid of the extra fat on your body, then start/turn it up with a good muscle building routine that will really tone and define your body. Who doesn't want nice abs, a butt that doesn't jiggle and and arms that could crush someones head??? Your wife will love it!
As for what I understand, it does not sound like you are being unhealthy. Just be sure to continue to EAT, and eat healthy. It's easy to obsess over yourself, but it is so very important to be at a healthy weight and to eat the foods your body needs.0 -
Wow, congratulations!
I have heard from many people that it's harder to maintain than to lose (I wouldn't know, yet!). Maybe you are a little afraid of the maintenance stage of this journey because it's not quite as tangible?0 -
all the suggestions above are really great. the focus on "another 5lbs" "another 10lbs" can quickly deteriorate to becoming a true obsession. It has for me. I wish I had had a forum or support system when I was doing the larger chunk of my weight loss to tell me that switching to a more healthy/different goal would probaby be best.
Everyone has given you great support...your goals should be geared towards achieving life-based things. This will help you keep the weight off long term.
And congrats on all the success! ::)0 -
I think the whole thing can be dangerous. I think I'm better though - learning that it's okay to overeat every now and again and not stress!!!0
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