OT: Question for experienced moms!!
TamTastic
Posts: 19,224 Member
My 20 month old son is suddenly terrified of getting his hair or his nails cut. It has only been the last couple of times I have tried to cut both that he has an issue. Before, it was NO problem. I haven't nicked him or anything, so he isn't afraid of pain.
I just tried to cut his hair and he was screaming in terror!! And the last time I tried to trim his nails he did the same thing. What is it? Maybe seeing it happen scares him? Like seeing the nail clippers clip off his nail..maybe it appears evil?? LOL! I don't know! I am not really trying to make light of it..but LOL! I really have NO idea what to do! He's going to end up with hair down to his butt and long nails if I don't get to the bottom of it! Because he won't hold still either and I am afraid of cutting him bad when I do his hair. I managed to use the clippers and got enough off..but it isn't a great job. SIGH!
What to do!
Thanks!
Tam
I just tried to cut his hair and he was screaming in terror!! And the last time I tried to trim his nails he did the same thing. What is it? Maybe seeing it happen scares him? Like seeing the nail clippers clip off his nail..maybe it appears evil?? LOL! I don't know! I am not really trying to make light of it..but LOL! I really have NO idea what to do! He's going to end up with hair down to his butt and long nails if I don't get to the bottom of it! Because he won't hold still either and I am afraid of cutting him bad when I do his hair. I managed to use the clippers and got enough off..but it isn't a great job. SIGH!
What to do!
Thanks!
Tam
0
Replies
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My 20 month old son is suddenly terrified of getting his hair or his nails cut. It has only been the last couple of times I have tried to cut both that he has an issue. Before, it was NO problem. I haven't nicked him or anything, so he isn't afraid of pain.
I just tried to cut his hair and he was screaming in terror!! And the last time I tried to trim his nails he did the same thing. What is it? Maybe seeing it happen scares him? Like seeing the nail clippers clip off his nail..maybe it appears evil?? LOL! I don't know! I am not really trying to make light of it..but LOL! I really have NO idea what to do! He's going to end up with hair down to his butt and long nails if I don't get to the bottom of it! Because he won't hold still either and I am afraid of cutting him bad when I do his hair. I managed to use the clippers and got enough off..but it isn't a great job. SIGH!
What to do!
Thanks!
Tam0 -
The prospect of seeing you coming at me with sharp objects is a horrific image......0
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LOL - don't know about the hair -
but my son is 12 and even today - he carries on like a crazy child when I cut his toenails and fingernails.
I wait till he's sleeping and snip snip - cut his nails -never even knows it's happening.
Have you tried one of those hair cutting places that cater to just kids - that may help.
Good luck0 -
Kids go through phases... he will come out of it.. Trim his nails while he sleeps.. and hair.. well LOL let it grow for a month or so and try again.
From a mom of 3 0 -
My son screamed in horror every time his hair was cut, since his first cut until about age 3. I dreaded our trips to the salon! He is 5 now and has outgrown that awful phase. Unfortunately I did not find any tricks that helped. One thing to keep in mind, maybe to understand what is going on a little more-some children and even adults-happen to experience sensations a little more acutely than others. So for us, a brush against the skin is no big deal, but for this group of people, they are extremely hypersensitive to certain sensations. Could be sound, touch, taste...It's possible that your child is experiencing the haircut a little different than us. That's what I chalked up my experience to.
Hang in there, my guess is it won't last forever. Good luck!0 -
Hush you! Since when are you an experienced mom??? :huh:The prospect of seeing you coming at me with sharp objects is a horrific image......0 -
It could be just a phase, my son went through the same thing and is still alittle aggravated when he gets his hair cut. One phase Rion had was being scared of the vacuum.
Sometimes I will bring his dvd player to the barber and let him watch it, it takes his mind off of whats going on. So find something he likes that might be able to take his mind off of it.0 -
My 20 month old son is suddenly terrified of getting his hair or his nails cut. It has only been the last couple of times I have tried to cut both that he has an issue. Before, it was NO problem. I haven't nicked him or anything, so he isn't afraid of pain.
I just tried to cut his hair and he was screaming in terror!! And the last time I tried to trim his nails he did the same thing. What is it? Maybe seeing it happen scares him? Like seeing the nail clippers clip off his nail..maybe it appears evil?? LOL! I don't know! I am not really trying to make light of it..but LOL! I really have NO idea what to do! He's going to end up with hair down to his butt and long nails if I don't get to the bottom of it! Because he won't hold still either and I am afraid of cutting him bad when I do his hair. I managed to use the clippers and got enough off..but it isn't a great job. SIGH!
What to do!
Thanks!
Tam
I have two girls, 3 1/2 and 23 mo. I cut both their hair and nails and I do it by straping them in the booster seat in front of a movie and give them a popsicle. Without all the extra special stuff they freak out too! I think it is more of a power struggle than anything. They know that you want them to hold still and they get mad. Now my kids do not get to watch movies and have popsicles very often so they find all that a very special treat. So I would figure out something that is a special treat that will occupy his attention and his hands that he will want more than anything! I usually get the movie on and then tell them that they can have the popsicle if they let me trim their nails first. Good Luck! These battles can be tough, it is so hard to see them so freaked out and know that you still need to do what you need to do:-)0 -
Thanks everyone! (except of course for J!)...
Hopefully he gets over this phase because before he could care less if I cut his har! Sigh! Poor guy!0 -
I think all kids go through the "scared of hair cuts and/or nail trims" phase. It's hard on us moms though!! Does he have a favorite toy or maybe short movie you can distract him with while you snip?? But not something that gets him TOO excited lol!! Other than that, just time and patience. Good luck! - Oh and the clipping while they're asleep is a life saver - my youngest always woke up though. :grumble: They usually don't!0
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Probably just a phase because at that age they are becoming so much more aware of things around them. I clip my daughter's right when she gets out of the bathtub becuase they are softer. Even though I was not nicking her or anything, it was hurting her because her skin was dry. (she did have eczema) but it is a thought. Have you tried giving him a sucker to focus on while you are cutting his hair?0
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Isn't that strange??? My son all of a sudden doesn't like getting his nails cut either! I think I'm gonna have to do the sleep cutting thing.
AS far as his hair goes... never liked it! UNTIL... his DADDY cut it! Yep, that's right! We took him to one of those places with all the special lights, tvs, etc... he hated it! But last week Daddy cut his hair and wa-la!!! No problem at all! Weird!
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Isn't that strange??? My son all of a sudden doesn't like getting his nails cut either! I think I'm gonna have to do the sleep cutting thing.
AS far as his hair goes... never liked it! UNTIL... his DADDY cut it! Yep, that's right! We took him to one of those places with all the special lights, tvs, etc... he hated it! But last week Daddy cut his hair and wa-la!!! No problem at all! Weird!
Good luck! :flowerforyou:
LOL! Yeah, he didn't mind it at first. I mean he didn't LOVE it....but it was more of an annoyance than anything. We went to Snip-Its, a specialty place for his first haircut....but I have done it since. He has good hair, so even if I mess up, it just adds to the cool dudeness! :laugh:
It's just so weird that he suddenly doesn't like it.0 -
By the way....
<
That's his new hair! hehehehe!
My little Linus! How funny, he was my favorite Peanuts character and now I have my own little Linus with his blanket and sucking his thumb!!! hehe Funny!0 -
Thanks everyone! (except of course for J!)...
Hopefully he gets over this phase because before he could care less if I cut his har! Sigh! Poor guy!
all kids go through it - welcome to one of the great joys of parenting....we started taking my boys to a barber because daddy could not cut their hair anymore. they still wiggled but after three or four trips to the barber they got the hang of it - and bribing them with lollipops doesn't hurt. one thing we learned was that they hated the vibration and sound of the clippers, so we asked the barber to use scissors instead and that definitely helped.
Nails are still a struggle - don't know what it is that they hate so much but hunker down for years of that battle....just find the distraction that works best for your little guy and do it fast!!!0 -
Been there...done that...I would have to agree with cutting nails while he's asleep.:bigsmile: No struggles for you or him
Also, for the hair cutting...my sister went through the screaming meme hair thing with her boys and they to this day they are long haired hippies because she didn't want to "traumitize them" oh boo hoo people think they're girls at ages 10 & 12 yrs old:sick:
My son is 16 now but when he was 2 I would hold him in a leg lock (indian style on my part) and have sis talk or read to him while I would carefully snip a little here & there. I would tell him "just one more minute...one more minute".
Now I still cut his hair & he asks "are you done yet". while watching a movie. OMG does it ever end?:yawn: :yawn: :yawn:
You just have to deal with what ever God gives you. Much luck to you :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi! I have 3 grown children and not one of them was not terrible with the hair and nails. I did the nails while they were sleeping. Find a hair dresser that caters to children or even have your husband take them to the barber. Seeing other big kids having their hair cut is great. I even had to de-senstize one of them by just sitting and watching for a while. Just be careful, everyday can be a struggle and if your child is trying to control the situation with tantrums, could get the message that it will work in other situations. Yikes.0
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MOM OF 6.. AND THEY ALL WENT THROUGH THAT STAGE... think it has to do with.. objects.. and sitting still.. its normal.. trust me0
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My daughter does the same thing. I cut her nails when she's sleeping.
As for the hair I cut it in the bath and sing to her. Now that worked the last time i did who knows if it will work the next time:laugh:
The joys of parenting
-Adrienne
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It really is a developmental thing in that you are "removing" part of their body. Nails while asleep....maybe take him to a kids cuts' place that has movies and special chairs.....we have a few here in GA....they are awesome.....
Good luck...entirely normal!!0 -
It really is a developmental thing in that you are "removing" part of their body. Nails while asleep....maybe take him to a kids cuts' place that has movies and special chairs.....we have a few here in GA....they are awesome.....
Good luck...entirely normal!!0 -
You probably don't want my opinion, but my daughter just graduated high school with honors and already took some college and is of course taking more now. And among other things is an all around great daughter. Just started dating this last year at 17, (18 now) and I know she has a good head on her sholders. And she tells me everything, and I mean everything!
I will tell you how this happened, but you have to be tough. This crap about kids having feelings, they only know what you teach them, and if you let them through a fit, it is your fault.
You need to pop them when they do stuff like that. If they think they are upset at the prospect of getting their nails clipped, once you pop them in the mouth, then the clippers wont be so bad. And if they freak out more, then get even tougher. You are the boss, not the little kid. There is nothing to fear in the clippers, but they need to watch out for you!
And none of this warning crap, don't count to 3. If you do count, pop them right after 1 if they don't stop.
This is for there own good. Do you think a cop later in life is going to say 1,2,3. You need to let them know what life has in store for them. I know he is young, but if you start now it is so much easier later. and you don't have to even really do it much as they get older. They know when they might get popped and stop before they have to.
I don't want to sound mean, I never hurt my daughter, it was more of a surprise. The shock of it was enough to do what your point is. But you know know this whole not spanking kids crap really gets to me. I don't want pay for some other persons kid in the system becasue we are not allowed to pop our kids when they don't behave. My daughter would look at other kids and say to me "that kid needs a spanking" And one time in pre school I was watching through the glass and she told another kid that she was trying to hear the teacher and it wasn't time to talk.
I also have 3 step children (all grown up now) and when they came to visit when they were little, they knew to behave. That it is not a free for all. I was boss. When we would go to the market, we did the duck walk. They all lined up and stayed in a row and not all over the store. And this was for a reason, Didn't want to loose one and they are visiters in the store. They don't own it, and other people shouldn't have to put up with kids pitching a fit in the store. 2 of them even lived with us by their choice at they got a little older.
One time my daughter tried to pictch a fitt in a store when she was about 3, I spanked her right there and she never, EVER did it again.
Just my opinion and it may not be what you want to hear, but it worked for me, and I couldn't be prouder of my daughter today. Never did any of the crap I did as a kid. And I did a lot of crap.
SM0 -
Umm...as a professional, this previous comment is NOT the right advice. Do you have any idea how phobias are formed? This is a really good way to start one.
Tamtastic - your son is at an age where he is starting to understand things, and realise consequences. The nail thing is because he knows understands what scissors or clippers do, but doesnt realise that it isnt going to hurt. This is also around the time they start to dream and comprehend the act of dreaming, but cannot necessarily explain it. Be firm, sure - but as always, be patient and try to understand his point of view. Children are NOT little adults, they cannot formulate the same thoughts or rationale - they havent experienced enough to be able to yet. This reaction is absolutely normal and he will come out of it again.0 -
I am a nanny and have a degree in family and child studies, I have also worked in a variety of childcare centers, so though I am not a mom I have lots of experience with kids.
Anyways there is something about the age 18 months -2.5 years where most kids go through this weird phase of being terrieifed of things that were not an issue before. The little girl I nanny for loved spides would pick them up, has spider toys then overnight she is terrified of them, nothing happened she just hit that stage. Her baby brother did the same thing with water. It is really normal, just take it slow and give him time, he will adjust but don't scare him with it because you don't want it to be a perminent fear. Take it slow and give him time.0 -
You probubly don't want my opinion, but my daughter just graduated high school with honors and already took some college and is of course taking more now. And among other things is an all around great daughter. Just started dating this last year at 17, (18 now) and I know she has a good head on her sholders. And she tells me everything, and I mean everything!
I will tell you how this happened, but you have to be tough. This crap about kids having feelings, they only know what you teach them, and if you let them through a fit, it is your fault.
You need to pop them when they do stuff like that. If they think they are upset at the prospect of getting their nails clipped, once you pop them in the mouth, then the clippers wont be so bad. And if they freak out more, then get even tougher. You are the boss, not the little kid. There is nothing to fear in the clippers, but they need to watch out for you!
And none of this warning crap, don't count to 3. If you do count, pop them right after 1 if they don't stop.
This is for there own good. Do you think a cop later in life is going to say 1,2,3. You need to let them know what life has in store for them. I know he is young, but if you start now it is so much easier later. and you don't have to even really do it much as they get older. They know when they might get popped and stop before they have to.
I don't want to sound mean, I never hurt my daughter, it was more of a surprise. The shock of it was enough to do what your point is. But you know know this whole not spanking kids crap really gets to me. I don't want pay for some other persons kid in the system becasue we are not allowed to pop our kids when they don't behave. My daughter would look at other kids and say to me "that kid needs a spanking" And one time in pre school I was watching through the glass and she told another kid that she was trying to hear the teacher and it wasn't time to talk.
I also have 3 step children (all grown up now) and when they came to visit when they were little, they knew to behave. That it is not a free for all. I was boss. When we would go to the market, we did the duck walk. They all lined up and stayed in a row and not all over the store. And this was for a reason, Didn't want to loose one and they are visiters in the store. They don't own it, and other people shouldn't have to put up with kids pitching a fit in the store. 2 of them even lived with us by their choice at they got a little older.
One time my daughter tried to pictch a fitt in a store when she was about 3, I spanked her right there and she never, EVER did it again.
Just my opinion and it may not be what you want to hear, but it worked for me, and I couldn't be prouder of my daughter today. Never did any of the crap I did as a kid. And I did a lot of crap.
SM
I agree this is not correct advice in our times, in the past maybe parents raised their kids this way but today we realize this is a great way to cause perminent pychological damage. Give your child the time he needs. show him the clippers, let him tough them (supervised of course) and let him get use to them, then talk him through what your going to do, tell him it will not hurt and make a game out of it, maybe have a fun sound you both make each time you clip his nails or a silly face. With his hair. have him hold a bowl that you put all the hair in. again let him get adjusted to the sissors before starting and explain to him what you are doing and that it will not hurt. I know he is young and may not understand it all but you will help calm him if you are calm and he knows whats going on.0 -
IT WILL PASS! In the meantime, maybe you could cut your nails first so that he can see it does not do anything bad. You can even let him try to cut yours if you have the courage...lol. Even when you get a haircut, go together and do yours first so that he can see what they are doing and that you are enjoying it. This doesn't always work and you may just have to ride it out.
There is a barber shop two doors down from me and one night I could hear a kid just screaming. I seriously thought it was from across the street and someone was beating him. So I said something to a passerby and she told me it was coming from the barber. So I went over and peaked in and sure enough, they were holding him down and cutting his hair. I have NEVER heard a child scream like that. Anyway, it's a totally normal phase and will eventually pass. Good luck!0 -
I bribe my son with M&M's!! Works everytime. I lay out some M&M's on the counter...put him on the seat. He eats, I trim....it all has to be done FAST though...LOL!!!!0
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I bribe my son with M&M's!! Works everytime. I lay out some M&M's on the counter...put him on the seat. He eats, I trim....it all has to be done FAST though...LOL!!!!
LOL! That is something my son would probably go for! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Man, it was a rough night. Later in the day, J.T. came down with a fever! One dose of Tylenol was enough and he slept OK and his fever dropped and stayed down. BUT, he kept waking up and crying in horror. I wonder if he was having nightmares about the clippers??? It was weird! Usually, we put him to bed and don't hear a peep until at least 7:30ish. Man! Poor guy!0
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Man, it was a rough night. Later in the day, J.T. came down with a fever! One dose of Tylenol was enough and he slept OK and his fever dropped and stayed down. BUT, he kept waking up and crying in horror. I wonder if he was having nightmares about the clippers??? It was weird! Usually, we put him to bed and don't hear a peep until at least 7:30ish. Man! Poor guy!
oh poor baby!!! hugs to my sweet nephew girl!!! and to you to momma, I know how worried we get when our kids are sick...:flowerforyou:
I am gonna quickly chime in w/ the nail/hair thing....and I'll trump you w/ the brushing teeth thing LOL...been through it all!!!:ohwell: Nicholas used to let me cut his nails while he played w/ water in the sink and I had to make a HUGE deal out of it...like WOW!!! that was cool!!! lol...hey whatever works right?! Then he all the sudden was not having it! I usually get him right after he falls asleep it just easier for me, and I pick and choose my battles...ie...brushing teeth...is a must and even though he's better now about it...he used to hate that....I'd chase him all over the house...not as fun as it sounds....lmbo
The hair thing is the same as trish said I think...the vibrations from the buzzers wigged him out...we opted for the scissor cuts instead....still he has his moments when he gets a little nervous...poor kiddo...my guy has a little more issues w/ the noises etc...because of ASD but I think ALL kids, as the panel of very knowledgeable parents have said here....go through some form of this from time to time...just do your best momma, which I know you always do girl.... you'll be fine!!!
hugs and much to you and your sweetie pie!!!
Ali :flowerforyou:0
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