I feel bad for my husband.

Focus on getting his food right, the exercise part plays a minor role in weight loss.

I'm new here and searching for people to give me some advice how to help my husband. He is gaining weight that drives him crazy. He used to be very fit and he has gained about 40 pounds within 7 years. Don't get me wrong, his extra pounds doesn't bother me at all. In contrast, he is taking high blood pressure medication, so he does need to lose weight as his doctor prescribed him to do so. His weight is stressing him out. He doesn't stick to his exercise anymore. If he does exercise, he would do it more than 2 hours a day. I stay quiet as I don't want to hurt his feelings. I just don't know what to say or do for him other than cooking healthier meal.

I can see he wants to lose weight, but he doesn't have the courage to do.

How do I help him lose weight?

What should I do?

How to encourage him?

He is me about 5 months ago, and about 15 years younger. If he likes healthy foods, I like vegetables, etc. make them available. Avoid bringing or baking things he shouldn't eat into the house. Once the first 5 or 10 lbs come off, the rest will be up to him. Based on what you said, he is not a binge eater, he is in a rutt. He just needs to see that there is a way out, he just needs to make the effort.

I'm a full time college student and I work part time for him. We also have a child. I take care of everything in our households. His work is sedentary. Anyways, I'm vegan. I love vegetables and fruits more than anything else. Him, he would go out eat with his coworkers. When he is home, he eat dinner and then snacking throughout the night. He would tell me that it's zero or low calorie.


Frankly, it is not in my culture to be bothered with extra pounds. It's his health that is in jeopardy. His mother told me about heart attack in their family. I'm worried. Other than that, I'm happy the way he is.

I am 47. My father had his first heart attack at 42. My grandfather died from his 3rd stroke at 62. Unless being a young widow is also just part of your culture, you might want to get concerned about the extra pounds. Tough love.

He told me that his knees would have a problem. I was O_O.

I was a 300+ lb 45-year old former ice hockey player with 2 .. um .. suboptimal knees, an ankle that's been dislocated a half dozen times, a displaced hip .... let's just say that lower body pain became a way of life ...

I started slow with walking, body weight squats, body weight lunges, and the like. 2 years later, I run +/-3 miles a few times a week, and do things like squats with 200 lbs weight, lunges with an 85 lb vest, etc. ...

My knees feel (and work) better than they did when I was 18. The best thing he can do is build a strong support system around them ...

He won't until he wants to. Just like the rest of us.

Your husband's weight is your husband's problem, not your problem. He's not going to do anything he doesn't want to do, and you can't make him do anything. He's got to be ready to make the changes on his own.

To lose weight, he needs to burn more calories than he consumes. This can be done without exercise.

Your husband's weight is your husband's problem, not your problem. He's not going to do anything he doesn't want to do, and you can't make him do anything. He's got to be ready to make the changes on his own.

To lose weight, he needs to burn more calories than he consumes. This can be done without exercise.

I agree with this, if he doesn't decide to do it then he's never going to. All you can do is try to encourage him. Ask him to do physical things with you; going for walks, riding bikes, etc... and when you do prepare meals or snacks make sure they're something healthy that he's going to like.

I agree he has to want to do it - you can support him but you can't do it for him, make him do it or trick him into doing it accidentally.

Have you talked to him about your concerns for his health? If he understood that his health was at risk, that you are very worried, and that you are scared he is going to develop chronic illness or die and leave you and your child alone if he doesn't change his lifestyle, maybe this would be enough. If not, then what would?

I am like StrongLife, the more I exercise the better I eat. It sounds like your heart is in the right place. Good luck..

He won't until he wants to. Just like the rest of us.

I agree with this. The best thing you can do right now is lead by example and hope he will follow.

If he sees you eating a balanced diet and waking up early to go work out at the gym maybe he will be motivated to follow, but don't push him.

a year ago I weighed 42lb more than I do now; I was on medication for cholesterol & raised blood pressure & I had a sedentary lifestyle.
my father died of a heart attack aged 51; my brother, now aged 51 has heart problems but continues to be overweight by at least the same as I lost.

what gave me the wake up call aged 53 rather than at 40,45 or 50? frankly I have no idea; my wife is 46, is 5'7" tall and weighs 57kg, fit as a butchers dog; but she never criticised me, she just led by example.

now we're all eating pretty clean; lean meat, whole foods, brown rice, etc etc my sons are into looking good now too, youngest has 21% bf, works out & hits very hard on the rugby field; so my journey has helped the whole family.

It IS important; obesity leads to a wide variety of health problems as you get older; and if you have family history those issues are compounded. we all know someone who died aged 96 and smoked all his life and we know obese people aged 85; but there are LOTS more that didn't make it, a sad but true fact.

Maybe find someone ha can talk to? somebody he might listen to? you're probably a bit close to the fire which is why he reacts badly but maybe there's someone out there he'll listen to?