Calling for support PLEASE (and advice from nursing mamas)

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Kirst412
Kirst412 Posts: 28
in Motivation and Support
Just had my baby 4 weeks ago - and I am utterly depressed about my weight! so uncomfortable in my own skin. I made sure I worked out EVERY DAY during my pregnancy and watched what I was eating - and I still gained a ton of weight. Needing lots of support and inspiration right now. I am nursing so I am unsure of how many calories I should be eating. I read somewhere that you are suppose to add about 500 calories to your "pre pregnancy" calorie amount.. so I did - not sure if it is right (anyone out there who might know differently please share) just looking for friends to give support and advice!! Love hearing success stories and watching everyone succeed around me :)

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  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
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    My daughter will be one next month and I've been breastfeeding this whole time! Which is an accomplishment for me some I didn't make it past a month with my two oldest. I added 500-700 calories to what I was eating since breastfeeding burns a lot of calories. Take time to heal and rest and enjoy your baby. It took 9 months to make him/her so anticipate a little time to get back into the shape you want. :) Congrats and good luck!
  • greenhudler
    greenhudler Posts: 150
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    Personally I have tailored things according to how often they were nursing. 500 extra if they were exclusively nursing, 300-500 extra once solids were introduced, and now after nursing for two years I don't really eat anything extra and things are fine...but he also only nurses once per day, sometimes only once every few days. This is how things have gone for me with all three children and I've had no issue having ample supply. I also give this basic advice to new moms I work with (I'm a doula) and it seems to work across the board for everyone.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    give yourself a break - you just had a baby!! Women are supposed to gain fat during pregnancy, it's to support breastfeeding (we evolved that way). While there are some women who gain nothing during pregnancy, this is more likely due to genetics, compared to someone like yourself who exercised and ate right in pregnancy but still gained fat. So don't stress about it, you're normal and healthy. Don't expect to lose it right away, and yes you do need approx 500 cals extra per day to support breastfeeding. Your body's making milk to feed your baby. It's calories for your baby, and it's not just the calories in the milk itself, it's the calories your breasts use to make the milk. So don't be afraid to eat. And also view your body as amazing for growing this little tiny person inside it and producing milk to feed him or her, rather than hating on it for gaining a bit of fat in the process.

    Fat loss while breastfeeding is safe, but take it very slowly and watch your milk supply, and don't stress about it or feel under pressure to lose it quickly. Losing at a rate of 1lb a week is fine, but if it's just 0.5lb a week then that's fine too, think slow and steady. Just make sure your milk supply is well established before you start and you're getting all the nutrients you need, which is more than someone who's not breastfeeding. You need protein, good quality fat sources (i.e. foods that are high in omega 3s and fat soluble vitamins), plenty of carbs, plus vitamins and minerals, especially iron and calcium (your baby needs these to grow blood and his or her bones are mineralising so lots of calcium is needed).

    You can get back to your pre-pregnancy weight (albeit possibly with a few stretch marks) just take it slow and don't stress and definitely don't beat yourself up. Your body's amazing and just keep up with gentle exercise (whatever your ob-gyn/midwife says is safe, and resume your regular workout routine when it's safe to) and healthy eating and focus on feeding your body and your baby well. Don't stress about calories too much, 500 cals/day extra is an average, some babies are hungrier than others, and will have some days where they're going through a growth spurt and take more milk so don't be afraid to eat more than this if you are hungry or your milk supply doesn't seem to be able to keep up (which is normal when the baby's having a growth spurt, so for your own sanity it's probably better to eat more those days).

    btw I breastfed both my girls, one for 2 years one for 2.5 years and I fit into the same size clothes as I did pre-baby. All of the above advice is pretty much what I did (I gained quite a lot of weight both pregnancies, especially the second as I had bad SPD and could barely walk). Plus I found that high protein foods like chicken breast, and lots of fruit is great for milk production.
  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
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    Oh yeah, since baby girl is eating holida now I'm not consuming as many calories. Thanks for that reminder. Awesome advice here!
  • Kirst412
    Kirst412 Posts: 28
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    Thank you so much everyone!!!! This info is so helpful!!!
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Congrats on your baby!
    I gained a lot too, 60lbs to be exact. I've lost 53ish lbs since then in the last 10.5 months so its doable but it can take time. I nursed too (still am) and what I did was add 500 to whatever my cal goal was to my MFP goal. So when MFP gave me 1300 I'd eat 1800 etc. there's a food option for breast feeding in the database and you can add it to your diary.
    Good luck!
  • hamo1987
    hamo1987 Posts: 65 Member
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    First of all right now is not the time to stree, I have a three month old and have nursed four babies so I am very experianced, I also have worked in lactation consulting so I promise this information is for the good of your baby and supply!

    First it takes a min. of six weeks to develope a safe and sustainable milk supply so at this time (4 weeks) you should not do anything drastic to your food intake other than increase it for now the extra 500, and plenty of fluids (1/2-1 oz for every pound of body weight thus a 150 pound mama should drink 75-150 ounces a day to thirst.

    second, one supply is established (after the six week growth spurt where baby is fussy and nurses cosistantly to a point in which many moms believe they are not producing enough (this is not true, this is the six week growth spurt, one of the hardest spurts there is) this is when milk supply is more established and less likely to fall as long as you feed on demand and do not supplement.

    Third, slow and easy on exercise until your body regains a safe fitness level for a nursing mom (use supportive ware on top, but not too tight)

    fourth, lifting weight too heavy in the chest area (pectorials) could cause milk duck blockages or mastitis if you overdue it so take it easy, you can still lift... the best thing you can do is put baby in a wrap or carrier (adds extra weight so that helps too for your calories out) and walk walk walk!!!!

    make sure to take prenatal or vitamins at the direction of your PCP or infants pediatrictian...

    Also, stay away from coffee and the like... many people believe that caffeine is great for weight loss ( it can be in the right form) but is it not condusive to a lactating mother, it can actually decrease supply, prevent enough sleep for mother to support a nursing baby, and can prevent you from reaching proper nurtirion within a calorie deficit if you are filling your calories with caffinated drinks!

    after milk supply is established... after six weeks sometimes not until around 8 weeks then you can slowly decrease your calories, say you are to eat 1800 (very standard for a weight loss deficit while nursing) 1300 for you 500 for milk and fat stores for supply protection. I would say drop calories by 100 at a time, so down to 1700 for a week )( these numbers are just examples please find what your numbers should be and add in the 500 to come to your baseline) a nursing mother technically should not fall below 1800 at any time, but once milk is established well many women can go as low as 1500 depending on their personal calorie needs and how long their supply has been established...

    I hope this all helps, there are many of us nursing moms on here, take it from a mom with many years of experiance nursing (7 years of total nursing time, plus training) at four weeks the body is still healing it is not working on losing weight at this time, if you received any kind of medication during delivery you are likely carring a large amount of water weight also, so the numbers will be skewed for a while... enjoy your baby ( we are human, not super models with professionals to design our meals and routines)
  • hamo1987
    hamo1987 Posts: 65 Member
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    sorry, was typing fast, many mis-spelt words (ooopppsss!!!!)
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Don't stress out, you're doing great. You should be focusing on adjusting to life with baby and getting used to your new schedule, not freaking out about weight and calories. The weight will come off, and I assure you that your baby thinks you're awesome no matter what you weigh. Everything people said about adding the extra calories and drinking water is correct. I'm currently nursing a 19-month-old and I still add in about 250 cal per day to account for it (she is not giving up and nurses several times a day), but I'm slowly tapering that count off and watching my supply. There's no awards ceremony for losing the weight right away, you need to just do what works well for you and your family.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    I am going to go back and read responses...

    I ate like crazy during my first pregnancy and gained about 70 lbs. I lost over 100 by the time my son was 13 months old, so well below my pre-pregnancy weight. I slacked a little on diet and gained back about 10, then I gained 75 lbs during my second pregnancy! I ate better but could not exercise due to bleeding issues, so I think my metabolism tanked. I actually ate better during my second pregnancy but gained more. Hm. I think some of us just gain weight like crazy during pregnancy.

    I mostly formula-fed my first, which gave me the ability to cut calories very low (and made me grouchy, honestly), but my second has been exclusively breastfed (now he gets some solids), which has been a hindrance to my weight loss. In nearly 7 months I've lost 40 lbs. Compared to my first postpartum loss, I should be 15-20 lbs ahead of where I am now - but so be it. I've learned to be patient, though I still need regular reminders from time to time.

    Nursing is a tough job on top of the already tough job of being a mom. Be kind to yourself, eat well, drink LOTS of water, and get back to moving when your body is ready (and you're cleared for exercise) and you can manage it. It's tough to find time to work out with a baby, but as your baby gets bigger it gets easier to carve out that time for yourself.

    Kellymom.com (a great BFing resource) suggests going no lower than 1800 calories/day. I find that my supply tanks if I go lower than that. Even though I count my BFing burn as 400 instead of 500 now that he's eating solids 2x/day, I still don't go below 1800. I try to eat back most of my exercise calories.

    There is help and support! I recommend two groups on here:

    Post-Partum Pack http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/656-post-partum-pack

    Breastfeeding Support http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/214-breastfeeding-support

    Congratulations, and best wishes!

    ETA that I don't mean to scare you away from BFing by saying it's slowed my weight loss. For a lot of women it helps with weight loss, and there are tons of health benefits for both you and your baby! I don't mind nursing, and admittedly I'm not in love with it - BUT I've been the mom on the other side of the fence in tears, feeling guilty about her lack of supply, and shelling out $$$ every month for formula, and I would MUCH rather BF! Once your supply is established it is SO much easier than formula feeding! I don't demonize formula (and this isn't the forum for that even if I did), but all of the above reasons are why I've decided to make this temporary sacrifice of my happiness in my self-image. I promised myself I'd nurse until 6 months, and now I'm beyond that, so I'm going for a year or until he self-weans, whichever is earlier :) Then I can fuss over the scale!
  • SintheticSoul
    SintheticSoul Posts: 53
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    You're only 4 weeks pp. Just relax and enjoy your baby. In a couple weeks you'll be able to workout again. I recommend starting with yoga. I did Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown. Make sure you keep eating that extra 500 cals. I am a "full term breast feeder" so I took advantage of the burned calories for a long time, and it made things go much quicker. And definitely make sure you stay hydrated! Not drinking enough water is the biggest down fall of most breastfeeding moms who are trying to get fit.
  • MaryPoppinsIAint
    MaryPoppinsIAint Posts: 157 Member
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    *waves* Hi, love! My son is two, and I'm currently about 15 weeks with my next one. Toddler is still nursing to sleep for naps & bedtime & occasionally during the day.

    My pregnancy-weight experience was kinda nutty, and I appear to be repeating the pattern this time. Wicked, WICKED morning sickness during the first trimester (with my son it went on clear to 20 weeks, this one thankfully eased off right before the 1st tri was over), so I barely eat. Once I feel like eating again, baby is big enough that eating a full meal all at once is a bit uncomfortable. Instinctively I go mostly vegetarian while pregnant, I develop a pretty gnarly meat aversion, so it's mostly fresh produce, grains, nuts, & so on. With my son, I started pre-preg at 222lb, dropped 20 pounds basically from being sick all the time, and took the rest of the pregnancy to get it back, so I walked into triage 4 pounds over my pre-preg weight. Nobody believes me.

    I actually gained my "baby weight" after he was born, because someone (a medical professional in only the loosest sense of the term) convinced me I had an inadequate milk supply and put me on Domperidone without telling me that it would make me crazy hungry all the time. I got up to about 245 before I said enough. Calorie cut, started working out more, by February this year I was somewhere around 235. Had my gall-bladder out (nightmare all by itself), and portion control became my very best friend overnight. I dropped a little more, started to stall out, got upset...

    Then I found the original version of this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    And found out that I was eating way too damn little food. I started eating at TDEE-20% plus extra for breastfeeding, but NOT for exercise (TDEE works your average exercise schedule into your calorie allowance), and the weight just started melting off. Honestly I don't work out much. I keep a garden in the summer, which is a lot of work, but I don't have time for a gym or a lot of walking. My most regular "exercise" was the negative value food item I created to allow the extra carbs/fat/protein/calories needed for breastfeeding. And it still worked, effortlessly. Between mid-February and when I turned up pregnant in September, I lost thirty pounds (regained and relost about 10 in there over the summer), and when we got that positive pregnancy test, I weighed 218 pounds. Wanna know what my calorie allowance was?

    I'm 5'3". My Net (that's right, NET) caloric intake was over 1900 calories per day. And I lost thirty pounds doing that. In a year. How many women do you know who can say they lost every ounce of their baby weight plus four pounds more before conceiving their next child?

    I do not tell you this to brag, honey. I tell you this so that you know it IS possible, it doesn't have to be complicated, you don't have to go hungry (honestly there were plenty of days where I was hard-pressed to eat that much, but I had more success week to week when I did!), you don't have to eliminate all your favorite treats, and you do NOT have to drag your exhausted new-mommy self to the gym three times a week. Lifting weights helps, don't get me wrong, but you can lose and keep off a significant amount of weight with healthy eating alone. Note that I did not say "diet". I kind of treat that as a dirty word, it's got so many wacked out unhealthy connotations.

    TDEE involves some math and a measuring tape to get it set up, but after that it's simple, and it works. For about the first month, measure/weigh EVERYTHING that you're going to swallow. Don't guess, don't eyeball it, measure. For thirty days. By then your eye and your brain will have a better idea of what serving sizes actually look like, and while they're going to look "small" at first, they're bigger than you think. :)

    Basically? You're 4 weeks ppm. Take your time. Eat healthy, because you need it and your baby needs it, but don't stress. In about two weeks baby's gonna hit a growth spurt that's gonna leave you thinking you're not making enough milk. Don't panic, that's the big nasty growth spurt, and your body will adjust. If you feel the need to get some exercise, put baby in a wrap (Moby is good for winter) and take a walk.

    My pre-preg with this kid was 218. I'm down to just over 208 thanks to another gnarly first trimester and a round of the flu I'm just getting over. I will not be falling for the "I'm not making enough milk" trap this time around, so hopefully I can start from around 218ish after this kid is born in June and start making progress from there.
  • AmberLechuga
    AmberLechuga Posts: 2 Member
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    I am making sure I eat at least 2000 calories and I'm pretty small. My son is 8 months and so far everything is going well (with the nursing). I am about 40 lbs over weight right now but I am not going to worry about it and just enjoy my son! When the baby is done nursing I am going to work out and cut my calories, I am starting to get excited though to start looking thinner! LIFE IS GOOD!

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