49, female, tried everything

Just joined MFP. I'm 49 years old and over the years weight has crept up, even though I have worked out, watched food intake etc. My big problem is slow starts and getting discouraged. I recently re-joined Weight Watchers,thought I was doing great..and gained 1.5 on week (I thought it would hv been a 3 lb. lose) It really through me for a loop. I lost that 1.5 the next week, but I basically feel like I am treading in one place. i need to lose 40 pounds!! I can't gain and lose the same weight week after week. It's demoralizing. I also spent 6 months this year doing a program called Body for Life, which I LOVED!! But I actually gained weight and ultimately ripped my knee, which made me stop all workouts and put me in a downward spiral.
I realized if I could figure out the formula for even 1 pound a week...I would be at my goal at this time next year. But I get discouraged. I need to find that formula in excercise (treadmill??) eating etc. I'm on a search. I just need to get moving from point ONE.
Sorry for the babbling, but that's how I feel emotionally. I need to get a handle, a plan, and move forward. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
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Replies

  • 1exercisefreak
    1exercisefreak Posts: 75 Member
    You came to the right place....logging in your food and exercise is so easy....Would love to be your friend....
  • dimple_gal
    dimple_gal Posts: 139 Member
    I feel your pain. I too am 49 and have been on MFP for over a year, but have really been cracking down the last 5 months. I have lost the same 7 pounds since I have been on here. HOWEVER.... my clothes fit me better, I feel better, and so the scale, like my age - it is just a number. It shouldn't limit me and certainly doesn't define me. I have found that weight training has really helped, you may want to give it a try.
  • Paula038
    Paula038 Posts: 42 Member
    I feel your pain. I too am 49 and have been on MFP for over a year, but have really been cracking down the last 5 months. I have lost the same 7 pounds since I have been on here. HOWEVER.... my clothes fit me better, I feel better, and so the scale, like my age - it is just a number. It shouldn't limit me and certainly doesn't define me. I have found that weight training has really helped, you may want to give it a try.

    ^^This. After peri-menopuase hit, my system was completely out of whack - I was convinced I could gain weight simply by walking past a chocolate :) I could have a large deficit and lose little, or exercise without any visible effect.

    Since I started doing the heaviest weights I could handle, and increasing them regularly, my body has actually started to behave again. At first my weight was fairly stable, but this month my weight loss was above target. (I aim for slow loss, which is more sustainable for my lifestyle.) And the inches are coming off nicely.

    Most people on my FL are ladies our age - you are welcome to join us!
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I'm 45, and it took me a year to lose 20 pounds. But hey, I lost 20 pounds! It took several months of trial & error before everything "clicked" for me. Everybody's different, but I can share some things that worked for me, and you can see if any of them help you:

    Drink plain water. (This took a lot of work for me.)

    Treat your protein goal as a minimum (fiber, too). Then meet your calorie goal and ignore fat & carbs.

    Look at your nutrition over the last 7 days, not just today.

    Your weight will vary from day to day (and throughout the day). So give yourself a probationary period during which you get used to logging everything you eat & drink. Measure everything, learn to find accurate database entries, and work on being 100% honest with yourself. (Maybe the last one was just me? My diary was private, so I was lying to no one but myself, but it took me months!)

    Look at your long-term progress (the proverbial big picture), not just whether or not the scales read less today than they did yesterday. Do your clothes fit better? Has your stamina increased? Are you eating more fruits & veg than you used to? Celebrate every NSV (non-scale victory).
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Step one, start logging everything - literally everything that passes your lips. Don't worry about goals or counting, just log until you are solidly in the habit of logging.
  • Yes. I'm 49 too, will soon be 50---similar issues. Please send me a friend request if you would like my support.
  • Paula038
    Paula038 Posts: 42 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Someone will always say this, and it is often a man :) Whatever the question, the answer is "eat less". Obviously, if you are not losing weight, there is a calories in/calories out problem. But the answer isn't simply to eat less.

    When you hit (peri-)menopause, your metabolism slows down. Some studies ascribe this to the loss of lean body mass (LBM). The NIH says, "Menopause is associated with a gain in fat mass and a loss of lean body mass." I have seen suggestions that women who start menopause may lose LBM at double the rate they did before (haven't seen this proven).

    So you can follow Mr Knight's advice and simply eat less, and eat even less next year as you lose more LBM, and eat still less the following year, until you eat like a bird. Or you can do something to reduce the loss of LBM, so you can eat more normally. Hence the advice from women who have been there - try strength training.
  • 2muchchocncrisps
    2muchchocncrisps Posts: 176 Member
    Been there! As it's already been suggested - log everything! Being honest resulted in me seeing that I was eating too much and once in the habit, and with all the wonderful support you can get on this site, you will lose. Yes menopause mucks up your metabolism and plays havoc with sweet cravings but you quickly learn to make those sensible choices and be accountable. It's not a quick fix, it's a lifestyle change and you can do it!
  • Barbonica
    Barbonica Posts: 337 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Someone will always say this, and it is often a man :) Whatever the question, the answer is "eat less". Obviously, if you are not losing weight, there is a calories in/calories out problem. But the answer isn't simply to eat less.

    When you hit (peri-)menopause, your metabolism slows down. Some studies ascribe this to the loss of lean body mass (LBM). The NIH says, "Menopause is associated with a gain in fat mass and a loss of lean body mass." I have seen suggestions that women who start menopause may lose LBM at double the rate they did before (haven't seen this proven).

    So you can follow Mr Knight's advice and simply eat less, and eat even less next year as you lose more LBM, and eat still less the following year, until you eat like a bird. Or you can do something to reduce the loss of LBM, so you can eat more normally. Hence the advice from women who have been there - try strength training.

    Not to be too much of a contrarian, but Mr knight is correct; if you you are not losing weight, you are not eating at a deficit. According to WedMD, the loss of LBM and weight gain as estrogen declines may be attributable to changes in eating and exercise. In other words, it is not determined which is cause and which is effect. However, reduction in estrogen does appear to be associated with weight gain. If if helps, I am a 52 YO woman, started a lifestyle change when I was 49 by exercising more and eating in a healthy manner (which resulted in eating at a caloric deficit because i was eating mostly meat, veggies, fruits, nuts). I have lost a total of 56 pounds since April 2011 - the first 40 in about 9 or 10 months. I do lift, and agree that it is a wonderful addition to any exercise program, but you still have to eat at a deficit to lose weight, and lifting isn't going to burn enough additional calories to allows you not to reduce intake. Log everything, be honest with yourself. You CAN do it!
  • _jayciemarie_
    _jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
    Make sure you get a food scale and use it on everything. Do not rely on eyeballing or cup/spoon measurements. That was a huge adjustment for me. Also, get a HRM so you have a better idea on how many calories you burn. I've cut out soda--actually diet soda. All I drink is water and coffee. On a rare occasion I have a soda. I log everything---including my vitamins. Also--be honest with yourself. If you eat it--log it. Regardless how significant you think it is. See a nutritionist to find out a meal plan. We have all been in your shoes at one time or another. Dont give up. If you eat at a deficit--YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT.
  • MaryMBacon
    MaryMBacon Posts: 94 Member
    Feel free to add me as a friend & join my group called real people weight loss.
    I too tried everything lost it gained it, then I took a coaching course in eating psychology and it really changed my outlook on everything. success doesn't happen overnight but I'm down about 35-40 pounds since taking that course, I didn't join MFP right away and didn't think to enter my original starting weight when I started.
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    In addition to the good advice others are providing (log! lift!), the biggest thing you can do for yourself is ask your doc to do a simple painless resting metabolism rate (RMR) test. Do not rely on the online calculators. Work with the REAL number that applies to YOU.

    I keep hammering on this point, b/c 1200 calories is egregiously low for many women. However, it is perfectly reasonable and even generous for others. I don't want to say it doesn't matter what drives changes in your metabolism (because some things can be treated), it DOES matter that you know for certain where your metabolism's at now.

    Start with facts, log, observe, adjust :-)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Someone will always say this, and it is often a man :) Whatever the question, the answer is "eat less". Obviously, if you are not losing weight, there is a calories in/calories out problem. But the answer isn't simply to eat less.

    When you hit (peri-)menopause, your metabolism slows down. Some studies ascribe this to the loss of lean body mass (LBM). The NIH says, "Menopause is associated with a gain in fat mass and a loss of lean body mass." I have seen suggestions that women who start menopause may lose LBM at double the rate they did before (haven't seen this proven).

    So you can follow Mr Knight's advice and simply eat less, and eat even less next year as you lose more LBM, and eat still less the following year, until you eat like a bird. Or you can do something to reduce the loss of LBM, so you can eat more normally. Hence the advice from women who have been there - try strength training.
    Where did he say anything about eating less? :huh: He said OP is eating too much and aside from being blunt, is probably something OP didn't think about. Until OP starts consistently and honestly logging her food intake, she has no clue how much she's eating.
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
    I'm female, 53, short and hypothyroid. I refer to this as the trifecta of crap getting in my way. I'm down 50 pounds (with a bit more left to go). It can be done,even when you think you have stuff working against you.

    Start, as others have suggested with logging it all: the good, the bad, the ugly. This will give you a place to start. You can start making adjustments to what you're eating. Then, once you are in the habit of logging, start other stuff. Adjust the kinds of foods you eat to get more nutrients shoved in your face, start to walk on a regular basis. Then walk more. Then ponder the joys of other "moving stuff" you could be doing: yoga, lifting, running, slinging hay bales, whatever seems like it would be sustainable for you.

    While you're doing that, start searching the forums for the often quoted and referred to messages (a guide to start you on your way to sexy pants) is one I can think of off the top of my head.

    Start reading the forums and look for posters who seem to make sense to you. Then start watching for all the stuff they write. There are an incredible number of generous and helpful people here who share their knowledge. It won't take long to separate those who are offering up snake oil from those who offer up solid advice.

    Build your own friend list of supportive people. If you can, gather them from all different experiences. I'm convinced that my FL is one of the biggest contributors to the success I've had so far. They encourage me, they redirect me when I start to go off track, they listen to me, and maybe most importantly, they make me laugh. On a regular basis.

    It's not complicated, but it is hard. Some days harder than others. But it is doable. If I can drop 50 pounds and actually learn to love running, anyone can. Really. Just take a step in the right direction and the next day, take another step.
  • Paula038
    Paula038 Posts: 42 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Where did he say anything about eating less? :huh: He said OP is eating too much and aside from being blunt, is probably something OP didn't think about. Until OP starts consistently and honestly logging her food intake, she has no clue how much she's eating.

    Doesn't "you are eating too much" translate into eating less? Or how do you read it? I agree that accurate logging is needed, obviously!

    My point was simple. In my first month of dieting (on another site), I averaged 1368 calories a day and exercised over 9 hours a week. I lost 3.6 lbs. Then I discovered MFP, started lifting weights (thanks MFP!), cut an hour off my cardio, and reduced the intensity of my remaining cardio days. In the month to last Sunday, my last weigh-in day, I logged an average of 2194 calories a day, and lost 3.4 lbs. That is 826 calories more a day, for essentially the same weight loss over the same period.

    Don't know about you, but I would rather have the extra 826 calories every day? And no, I don't log vitamins and I often eyeball my cheese, so I probably eat more.
  • Regan45
    Regan45 Posts: 191 Member
    Being peri-menopausal seemed to kick me in the butt too! I woke up at 46 and was a fat woman : (
    I joined MFP, followed the guidelines to the letter and I'm thin again : )
    I still measure and weigh my food. I exercise at least 3 times a week - Jillian Michaels and the treadmill.
    I cannot even describe how good it feels. I don't have to find those special clothes that hide all the bad spots. I buy clothes because I like the style. The work to get to that point is more than worth it.
    I'd be happy to encourage you along the weigh (I can always use encouragement myself too). Feel free to add me.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I'd be happy to encourage you along the weigh.
    I heart this.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Step one, start logging everything - literally everything that passes your lips. Don't worry about goals or counting, just log until you are solidly in the habit of logging.

    This. Even if you think you are logging accurately and staying under your calorie goal chances are you aren't being accurate. If you can weigh it please weigh it. A tablespoon of peanut butter can be almost one and a half in a measuring spoon, so it should be weighed.

    If you are 100% accurate and still not losing you either need to lower calories or start strength training.
  • GeminiBridget
    GeminiBridget Posts: 99 Member
    First of all, get in your mind that you didn't gain that weight overnight, in a week, a month, or a couple of months, so it will take more than that to lose it. Next, you have to commit to a healthy lifestyle of eating right and regular exercise. Cardio for burning fat, and strength training/weight lifting for overall toning and strength. I DO NOT eat fast foods, I eat organic 95%, and I have cut down on white sugar tremendously. I'm 42 and have been able to maintain my weight pretty much for the past 10 years. I'm a diagnosed diabetic but I haven't had to test my sugar or take meds in about 10 years because I eat healthy and workout regularly. I don't give myself excuses as to why I can't do something, I am all about what I can accomplish, and set my mind to reach my goals. Anyone who has successfully lost weight and kept it off will also tell you that it is something you have to decide for yourself to stay dedicated.
  • GeminiBridget
    GeminiBridget Posts: 99 Member
    Also, don't get all hung up over the numbers on the scale once you commit to exercising regularly. Muscle takes up less room than fat so you could weigh a certain amount, but look as if you weigh less. I prefer using a tape measure to track my progress and only occasionally get on a scale to weigh myself. (I am in training to enter my first NPC Bikini competition so I do weight myself more now than I did before since I need to get to a certain BFP. Otherwise, I could care less about the number on the scale. I currently weight 151.4 but I can wear a size 4 clothing.)
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,854 Member
    You wrote "even 1 pound a week" and that is a very reasonable goal, but don't minimize it. If you can lose a pound a week consistently, you are rockin'.

    You also wrote: "Sorry for the babbling, but that's how I feel emotionally." Getting control of our emotions is the hardest part. I think most of us know the mechanics of losing weight. If we create a calorie deficit we lose weight and if we create a surplus, we gain weight. Easy to say, hard to do.

    Be of good cheer. Lots of people, me included, failed before we succeeded. You're here, and you didn't even wait for the New Year. That is a very good sign. Good luck to you!
  • QueenBanzia
    QueenBanzia Posts: 1 Member
    So, I am not 49, but 39 and I have always been on a diet in some way or other. I've read and skimmed through all the posts before and many say the same thing. I won't, I hope, repeat it. Most of it holds true. And, likely, it's things you already know: 1) Losing weight takes time 2) Calories in vs Calories out 3) Exercise 4) Drink water, etc... It's the constitution of weight loss. LOL.

    When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Basically, my hormones are out of whack and I have too much testosterone in me. In theory, it should actually HELP with weight loss, but it doesn't. I spent one summer in a pool swimming and GAINED weight. No, not muscle. I had swim class in the morning, spent the afternoons in the pool for fun, and had swim team in the evenings. I was a fish that summer and I ate hardly anything. My mom's always had me on diets. She was shocked that I could be fast in the pool, strong even, but be fat. The diagnosis gave us a 'thing' to blame.

    Really, what it does is make weight loss, something that's difficult under the best conditions, more difficult. And it sucks. I've tried everything. Nutrisystem (In 6 months, I lost 20 pounds while my husband dropped 60 lbs), Weight Watchers (never lost a single pound), special doctor-recommended/nutritionist-approved diets. I am diabetic. Tried diabetic only diets. Removed carbs. Removed sodas. You name it, I've done it.

    But I found something that worked for me. At least, it's the thing that got me started... This last August, I tried the Body Reset Diet by Harley Pasternak. 15 days. That's it. For the first 5 days, you drink 3 smoothies, eat 2 snacks, drink at least 8 glasses of water during the day, and get as close to 10,000 steps as you can. Days 6-10, you drink 2 smoothies, eat 2 snacks, eat 1 meal, drink 8 glasses of water, walk 10,000 steps (or as close to it as you can), and add in these exercises to work your anterior (backside) muscles. The exercises take 2 minutes, maybe 3. Also, you do them on days 6, 8, and 10. I also never hit 10,000 steps. Then, Days 11-15, you drink 1 smoothie, eat 2 snacks, eat 2 meals, 8 glasses of water, walk 10,000 steps, the anterior exercises on days 11, 13, and 15. Plus, you add exercises for the front muscles on days 12 and 14. My husband lost 10 pounds on this, I lost 9. It was a GREAT jump start. There was also no calorie counting. Just focuses on eating the -right- foods.

    After that, we just kept up with the meals, reading labels, making better choices.

    But, like you, I still have these horrible plateaus. Right now, I've lost 20 pounds in 4 months (including the initial 9), and I am training to run a 5K. I walk every day, train every other day. I'm slimming down visibly, but not by weight. The scale is my enemy and refuses to show me progress. But, I am diabetic, and I am looking at my bloodsugars. They're SOOO much better.

    That is my motivation. What you need to get is some motivation. Something that goes BEYOND the scale and calories. For me, the walking started as a way to get time to myself. Now, it's time to myself and I really want my sister to run with me in a 5K. I'm still fat. But I am doing it.

    I'd be happy to be your friend, too. I've been on MFP for only a few days. I'm a great cheerleader and, often, I need one too. Family is great, but sometimes I just roll my eyes at them. Y'know?
  • Oh my gosh! I have been on this website for a few months but have never posted nor reached out to anyone. I've not done so because I thought no one else would understand where I am at...And then I saw your post. Not babbling bw, I'm very grateful that you have said all you did!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Someone will always say this, and it is often a man :) Whatever the question, the answer is "eat less". Obviously, if you are not losing weight, there is a calories in/calories out problem. But the answer isn't simply to eat less.

    When you hit (peri-)menopause, your metabolism slows down. Some studies ascribe this to the loss of lean body mass (LBM). The NIH says, "Menopause is associated with a gain in fat mass and a loss of lean body mass." I have seen suggestions that women who start menopause may lose LBM at double the rate they did before (haven't seen this proven).

    So you can follow Mr Knight's advice and simply eat less, and eat even less next year as you lose more LBM, and eat still less the following year, until you eat like a bird. Or you can do something to reduce the loss of LBM, so you can eat more normally. Hence the advice from women who have been there - try strength training.

    Umm...how would you lose weight then?

    I am 46 years old...and a women. To lose weight, you need to create a deficit. You should resistance train also, but if you are not losing weight over the long term, you will either need to eat less, move more, or do both.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    OP: I understand what you're experiencing. Feel free to add me. And PM me if you'd like links to a few groups of women that understand what you're experiencing and what you're trying to accomplish. Best of luck!
  • enidite
    enidite Posts: 92 Member
    I am the same age as you, 49, have struggled with my weight all my life as well, ballooning up to 275 pounds. Not too good for a 5'4" frame. I felt like a I had tried everything , it worked for a while , and then I fell off the wagon and put more weight on.
    In desperation, I switched physicians and finally found one that was able to help me. It turned out that I had been given the wrong/and no medications for some medical conditions I have, Besides all this, I had a thyroidectomy about one and a half year ago, so my thyroid is completely gone. Interestingly the thyroid was removed because it was extremely overactive which was hard for me to believe because I had such weight problems; but looking at the TSH levels and the huge goiter, I knew that this was correct. It took over a year to get the thyroid hormones to the correct levels.
    Once the medications had been selected correctly, the weight started coming off. The new antidepressant that actually regulated both neurotransmitters, the correct ADD med and some meds to get my weight loss started , and I could finally get a grip on my weight problem.
    I am telling you this story to let you know that not all is black and white, it is not always "oh you eat too much" or " a calorie is a calorie: just log and exercise." Especialy from guys who do not face some of these hormonal issues and really have not walked in our shoes. (Sorry guys.) I am not trying to use this as an exuse for being overweight but I certainly think it can make it much harder to lose weight than for people who are younger or men. Yes, it is important to log and exercise honestly, but it is also equally important to realize that every body is a little different. And perimenopause is definitely not easy. The metabolism does slow down, and your best bet is to build muscle to keep your body from losing too much muscle and increase your BMR. But I think a trip to the dr. may help you too just to make sure that everything is ok and maybe even a trip to a nutritionist may be beneficial.
    Don't give up. It is a long process of falling and getting up. But don't see your falls as failures, try to see them as feedback. You are learning about what your body needs and that takes time. I guarantee you that many here have had these stumbling blocks along the way and if you just keep getting up and trying again you will make progress . It may be first two steps forward one step back, but eventually as you learn more, you will gain momentum and move faster.
    Also, remember that the scale doesn't tell everything, The number on it makes you neither a good or bad person. It is just a number that relates to gravity, Look at other factors as well, take pictures and measurements, pay attention how your clothes fit. In the beginning ( my first 50 pounds) I didn't see or feel much of a difference, but now as I near nearly 60 lbs ( I had lost some weight before joining WW and returning to MFP) all the sudden, I can see the difference. I still have a long way to go but I now know that it can be done. Attack the weight problem, with every trick and tool that you have available, visit the forums as much as you can and read success stories when you feel you can't do this. Get support, set your environment up to where you have healthy food available and where you have a convenient way to exercise, and you will succeed. You will be amazed what you all learn to make this all happen. The struggle is well worth it and you will reap some very unexpected rewards along the way.
    Feel free to send me a friend request. I would love to have more friends .
  • trulyjoyouswoman
    trulyjoyouswoman Posts: 36 Member
    If one is working out and eating healthy, the changes occur on the inside before one ever sees them on the outside. Like the excess fat we carry on the outside, we have it on the inside, and our bodies start losing it where we gained it last and on the inside, clearing up the fat and building muscles on the inside, and muscle weighs more than fat so there may be a gain of muscle at the same time one is losing fat. Try taking your measurements and re-take measurements at a weekly or monthly pattern, and muscles take up less space. The loss in measurements would be motivating and you could balance that with the loss or gain of the weight scale.

    Have you seen beef or pork with the fat running through the meat? That is similar to how the fat runs through our muscles. So when your scale says the same thing, it might simply be muscle replacing that fat.
  • Pmscur
    Pmscur Posts: 19 Member
    I too am feeling like I am spinning my wheels. I like the weight training advice, it may just be the bump we need:)
    Mixing it up helps with boredom too.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    You are eating too much.

    Step one, start logging everything - literally everything that passes your lips. Don't worry about goals or counting, just log until you are solidly in the habit of logging.

    This. Even if you think you are logging accurately and staying under your calorie goal chances are you aren't being accurate. If you can weigh it please weigh it. A tablespoon of peanut butter can be almost one and a half in a measuring spoon, so it should be weighed.

    If you are 100% accurate and still not losing you either need to lower calories or start strength training.

    Probably some of this BUT please bear in mind that Peri-menopausal women tend to retain weight and gain probably about 15 lbs during this time of their life pretty much without regard to what they do. It is simply a biological phenomenon. Can they overcome it? Probably to some extent (I am sure there will be women with testimonials as to how they lost weight during this time and I encourage them to respond... their input will help many women in this age group who are fighting biology).... I agree that in general it is calories in and calories out... however, there really are other factors out there that we cannot legitimately ignore.