Trying To Enjoy The Holidays, But...............

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arabianhorselover
arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband is being all grumpy about Christmas, and it's my favorite time of year. I have two boys who still live at home. They are 16 and 18. I want things to be pleasant for them. Trying to ignore my husband's mood. Anyone else have this trouble?

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  • Sandytoes71
    Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
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  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
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    My husband is being all grumpy about Christmas, and it's my favorite time of year. I have two boys who still live at home. They are 16 and 18. I want things to be pleasant for them. Trying to ignore my husband's mood. Anyone else have this trouble?

    I'm single, but I had a boyfriend like that in the past who "hated" Christmas. My brother is kind of the same way but now that he has a little son I guess he likes it again. I don't think I could see myself even dating someone that "hates Christmas" now. I'm not religious by any means but I love the holiday and everything that comes with it. Love seeing houses decorated with lights and putting up my own tree, etc. I would be heartbroken if my husband was acting that way. It's my favorite time of year too. Is he like this every Christmas or just this one? I know sometimes Christmas can bring back unpleasant memories for people such as the loss of a loved one that they wish they could be with for the holiday...or maybe growing up Christmas was stressful or they didn't have anything...divorced parents can also put a strain on Christmas. The possibilities are endless but I would try to talk to him gently and see what was wrong. If he gets defensive (i.e. "Nothing is wrong, stop asking me!!!") then leave him alone and enjoy your time with your sons.
  • Dwamma
    Dwamma Posts: 289 Member
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    My husband LOVES Christmas....but that does not mean he is not grumpy! OH MY this has been the WORST year as of yet! His grumpy attitude started on Thanksgiving and has not let up! He even got up late for work one day and jumped all over me as if it was my fault, but he has his own alarm and can set it himself! It is as if I can't even breath right all of a sudden.

    What to do?????

    I PRAY!!! and STAY out of his way! I do a lot of "not responding" just to avoid an huge blow up over nothing!

    Best of luck to you as well!

    Blessings!
  • mrspinky85
    mrspinky85 Posts: 79 Member
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    Christmas is not the happiest time of year for everyone. Some people have had bad holidays, hurtful memories or maybe miss someone who is not longer with us. Some people grow sad about not being able to see family far away. (Like Soldiers in war zones) Try seeing if you can find out whats wrong because some men like to act tough to hide their feelings or not to appear weak.

    I know my one grandmother is gone and I miss her much so I can be sad sometimes around this time. My other grandmother on my dad's side birthday was Dec 26 so I think about her too.

    Christmas is my favorite time of the year because I get a chance to give back to those who mean so much to me. Try giving your husband some cheer and see if his mood changes. If it doesn't that's okay too because not everyone has to be happy just because we happen to be.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    He has too much going on, too many things he is trying to get done, etc. Our kids are older now, but when they were little he was so great about making sure they had a great Christmas. He always loved to decorate, loved the lights, etc. Now he is considering it just another thing he has to do. He also hates the commercialization of Christmas, and so do I.

    I'm going to try to just let him feel the way he feels, and not get upset. Lord, give me strength!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    ugh how will he respond if you tell him he's killing your spirit? Thats what I would have to say living with a moody grumper who doesnt quite get the Christmas thing.
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    Christmas is not the happiest time of year for everyone. Some people have had bad holidays, hurtful memories or maybe miss someone who is not longer with us. Some people grow sad about not being able to see family far away. (Like Soldiers in war zones) Try seeing if you can find out whats wrong because some men like to act tough to hide their feelings or not to appear weak.

    I know my one grandmother is gone and I miss her much so I can be sad sometimes around this time. My other grandmother on my dad's side birthday was Dec 26 so I think about her too.

    Christmas is my favorite time of the year because I get a chance to give back to those who mean so much to me. Try giving your husband some cheer and see if his mood changes. If it doesn't that's okay too because not everyone has to be happy just because we happen to be.
    Very well put.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    He can't help how he feels. I've certainly had a lot of times when I wished I felt differently than I did. I feel a little sad myself because it's the first year my oldest son hasn't been here for Christmas.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    It isn't a great time of the year for everyone. If you've had family problems, it can be very depressing. It is kind of a non event for unmarried people without kids who aren't in an established relationship. Most people I have known in this phase of life can't wait for January 2nd. From a business standpoint, productivity declines so if you need to work through people to accomplish things, it gets harder with people off the job.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    My husband has been grumpy on and off since school started (he's a jr high teacher), which usually doesn't happen until the spring semester. He's feeling the stress more acutely this year for various reasons, but usually he's happy to be on Christmas vacation (16 days this year!). I think he's feeling the loss of his mom more this year than normal. She passed away in August 6 years ago, but her birthday is December 29th.

    I myself have been more grumpy, but I know the reasons (too many to go into detail, bleh)
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
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    Christmas is not the happiest time of year for everyone. Some people have had bad holidays, hurtful memories or maybe miss someone who is not longer with us. Some people grow sad about not being able to see family far away. (Like Soldiers in war zones) Try seeing if you can find out whats wrong because some men like to act tough to hide their feelings or not to appear weak.

    I know my one grandmother is gone and I miss her much so I can be sad sometimes around this time. My other grandmother on my dad's side birthday was Dec 26 so I think about her too.

    Christmas is my favorite time of the year because I get a chance to give back to those who mean so much to me. Try giving your husband some cheer and see if his mood changes. If it doesn't that's okay too because not everyone has to be happy just because we happen to be.

    This. Exactly.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Christmas is not the happiest time of year for everyone. Some people have had bad holidays, hurtful memories or maybe miss someone who is not longer with us. Some people grow sad about not being able to see family far away. (Like Soldiers in war zones) Try seeing if you can find out whats wrong because some men like to act tough to hide their feelings or not to appear weak.

    I know my one grandmother is gone and I miss her much so I can be sad sometimes around this time. My other grandmother on my dad's side birthday was Dec 26 so I think about her too.

    Christmas is my favorite time of the year because I get a chance to give back to those who mean so much to me. Try giving your husband some cheer and see if his mood changes. If it doesn't that's okay too because not everyone has to be happy just because we happen to be.

    This. Exactly.

    This.

    I feel the same way as your husband.
    For me, I consider these the "in-between" days.
    I hope to have grandchildren one day and I'll be back to wanting Christmas to be special for them.

    I don't know your husband, but do you think he'd benefit from re-focusing from lights & stuff to helping provide for a less-fortunate child or children? Like an angel tree child or secret Santa to someone in your community.
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
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    My husband is being all grumpy about Christmas, and it's my favorite time of year. I have two boys who still live at home. They are 16 and 18. I want things to be pleasant for them. Trying to ignore my husband's mood. Anyone else have this trouble?

    Totally! We both are not a fan of Xmas, but hub's mood is to shoot at. He gets so stressed around these days. That would be okay to me, but he is moaning, nagging and preaching the whole day long. :ohwell: Thank goodness he's to bed now! :drinker:
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    He has too much going on, too many things he is trying to get done, etc. Our kids are older now, but when they were little he was so great about making sure they had a great Christmas. He always loved to decorate, loved the lights, etc. Now he is considering it just another thing he has to do. He also hates the commercialization of Christmas, and so do I.

    I'm going to try to just let him feel the way he feels, and not get upset. Lord, give me strength!

    This year, I feel the same way as your husband. It's hard to get in the spirit when there's a ton of stuff to do and no one else seems to want to take any of it off your plate. I hit the breaking point with gift shopping this year and trying to think of fun surprises for everyone. Next year, no exchanging with anyone I'm not married to or have not given birth to. Gift lists will be limited to four items for each: something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read. Boom. Done.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    Well, he hasn't been stressing out over shopping; he has done very little of it this year, and always waits till the last minute. There are many things on his mind that he is trying to get done. Also, my Dad died in July, and he had gotten pretty close to him. Due to my Dad being gone, my husband has to help take care of my Mother. Stress he didn't need.
  • cubsgirlinny
    cubsgirlinny Posts: 282 Member
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    christmas can suck it! glad the day is almost over.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    My husband is being all grumpy about Christmas, and it's my favorite time of year. I have two boys who still live at home. They are 16 and 18. I want things to be pleasant for them. Trying to ignore my husband's mood. Anyone else have this trouble?


    i don't get how you describe your sons. they still live at home, at 16 and 18 years of age?? were they both supposed to be living on their own at this point??
  • svsl0928
    svsl0928 Posts: 205 Member
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    You and your sons should go on with your plans without. Let him be him and you do what makes you happy.
  • mg_89
    mg_89 Posts: 189 Member
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    It takes a long time to raise them :)

    I hope the day turned out better than you thought...
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    That isn't the way I meant it.

    My husband is being all grumpy about Christmas, and it's my favorite time of year. I have two boys who still live at home. They are 16 and 18. I want things to be pleasant for them. Trying to ignore my husband's mood. Anyone else have this trouble?


    i don't get how you describe your sons. they still live at home, at 16 and 18 years of age?? were they both supposed to be living on their own at this point??

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