OT: Question for experienced moms!!

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  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Man, it was a rough night. Later in the day, J.T. came down with a fever! One dose of Tylenol was enough and he slept OK and his fever dropped and stayed down. BUT, he kept waking up and crying in horror. I wonder if he was having nightmares about the clippers??? It was weird! Usually, we put him to bed and don't hear a peep until at least 7:30ish. Man! Poor guy!

    oh poor baby!!! hugs to my sweet nephew girl!!! and to you to momma, I know how worried we get when our kids are sick...:flowerforyou:

    I am gonna quickly chime in w/ the nail/hair thing....and I'll trump you w/ the brushing teeth thing LOL...been through it all!!!:ohwell: Nicholas used to let me cut his nails while he played w/ water in the sink and I had to make a HUGE deal out of it...like WOW!!! that was cool!!! lol...hey whatever works right?! Then he all the sudden was not having it! I usually get him right after he falls asleep it just easier for me, and I pick and choose my battles...ie...brushing teeth...is a must and even though he's better now about it...he used to hate that....I'd chase him all over the house...not as fun as it sounds....lmbo

    The hair thing is the same as trish said I think...the vibrations from the buzzers wigged him out...we opted for the scissor cuts instead....still he has his moments when he gets a little nervous...poor kiddo...my guy has a little more issues w/ the noises etc...because of ASD but I think ALL kids, as the panel of very knowledgeable parents have said here....go through some form of this from time to time...just do your best momma, which I know you always do girl.... you'll be fine!!!

    hugs and much :heart: to you and your sweetie pie!!!
    Ali :flowerforyou:

    Thanks sis!! :) Yeah, we have the brushing teeth thing too. I literally have to make him laugh so hard that I can get the toothbrush into his mouth to brush. (sort of like how he is laughing in my profile pic! hehe) And when he's crying and trying to get away from the toothbrush, I say "Trust me, this is not near as bad as a cavity will be!!" Like he understands!!! :laugh:

    I was a nanny for years and have experience but it is very different when it's your own huh?? LOL!

    I think the fever is from his teeth. There are differing opinions on whether teething causes a fever, but many times when he has a fever, he is also sticking his finger into his mouth, chomping on it! And his 2nd year molars are coming in and his finger ends up in the wayy back where they are....so coincidence??? I think not! haha!

    He is just not himself today. My poor little man! Very clingy and sleepy. It's nice because he's nice and cuddly but I hate him feeling so bad! :(

    HUGS!!! :heart:
    -Tam
  • mramig
    mramig Posts: 26 Member
    I am twenty-two, graduated from college with honors, will have my master's degree at twenty-three, and I tell my mom everything but she NEVER "popped" me to show me "who was the boss".

    This tactic reminds me of something that I do with my dog to assert dominance, except I don't even hit my dog, a loud noise is sufficient.

    Honestly, I am just plain shocked at your advice on this, and I suppose to each their own, but as several other people have mentioned this is how phobias begin. If she were to "pop" him every time he was upset about having his nails or hair cut, he would begin to associate being "popped" with having his nails and hair cut and it would only make the situation worse.
  • EllaBella
    EllaBella Posts: 140
    I used to and sometimes still do cut my boys finger and toe nails right after they have had a bath. It softens the nails and then they hardly notice anything. At 20 months sometimes kids can test you and throw a fit to see if they can get away with it. Only you can be the judge to determine that. You definitely don't want any bad habits to form, however, if he is having a true reaction to clippers and such, you do need to be patient. There has been some great advice given to you already. I am a believer in spanking at the right time for misbehavior, however, this doen't seem to be the time. It usually has to be pretty bad and very much a bad behavior done on purpose for me to do a swat on the behind. I had a pychology professor who once adressed the topic of spanking. He said when his son was 2-3 he started to run out towards a busy street. He did not stop when told to, so the dad ran to grab him and swatted him once-enough to get his attention and know that it wasn't a pleasant thing to have happen, but also to associate this unpleasant spank to disobediance. The child was in danger and it was better to have the unpleasant spank than a trip to hospital or worse. The whole point was to use spanking only when necessary--not for every little misbehavior. Good luck:happy:
  • 2day4ever
    2day4ever Posts: 178
    Ummm . . . just have to respond to the "pop my kid" comment. For you young moms out there, please do NOT do this! I have 3 boys: polite, respectful, straight A students, follow all rules, volunteer extensively in the community b/c they want to (not b/c I ask them). They have never, ever been spanked or "popped". They have had lots and lots of discussions and conversations. But neither their father nor I has ever used physical means to discipline or teach an example.

    I'm not saying I've never lost my temper. I've yelled and said things I've regretted. I'm not perfect nor do I try to be -- I tell the boys I'm human and I make mistakes and they will too and we can always talk about my mistakes and theirs.

    My hope for them is that they are in compassionate, caring relationships with significant others and that they are caring, loving fathers to my grandchildren. I just cannot condone physical demonstrations of power when all that does, in my opinion, is teach children that it is either okay to hit or to be hit.

    That said, my advice re: the haircut/nail cutting is the same as many others: it will pass. Until it does, demonstrate by cutting your own nails or accompanying your husband (with your son) to a haircut. Use the m & ms and the lollipops and the DVDs as "incentives" -- LOL!

    Hair and food and using the potty are all part of the same turf: it is about establishing a sense of self. I guess I think it is healthy and important for kids to be able to assert their own opinions of what they want and how they control their world. That doesn't mean you stop teaching -- it just means you keep encouraging and demonstrating and coaching . . .
  • StrawberryMargarita
    StrawberryMargarita Posts: 442
    like I said, I knew no one wanted my opinion and that is fine. I have an honors student myself. I never hurt her, it was a surprise thing, not intended to hurt. She knew early on that if I said something, I meant it. I didn't beat her or anything like I am sure you are thinking. A Pop is not a smack, or a punch, it is "Do I have your attention, I am not playing". So While I am sure I horrified some of you, I do not appolilgize. I went to every science fair (including state), recital, awards ceremony, graduation, Most feild trips, and what ever else was important to her and she talks to me and says I am a great mom. All of her friends like to come to my house and some even come to visit just to see us. And when my daughters friend needed a place to live, she wanted to come to us. When my daughter had an questions about any thing, she came to me and asked me because she knew I would tell her the truth.
    And so whatever, I know I don't have to justify, but since I seemed to have upset some people I would just like to say "Whatever, Don't read mine"
  • Quenofcrazzy
    Quenofcrazzy Posts: 358
    You probably don't want my opinion, but my daughter just graduated high school with honors and already took some college and is of course taking more now. And among other things is an all around great daughter. Just started dating this last year at 17, (18 now) and I know she has a good head on her sholders. And she tells me everything, and I mean everything!
    I will tell you how this happened, but you have to be tough. This crap about kids having feelings, they only know what you teach them, and if you let them through a fit, it is your fault.
    You need to pop them when they do stuff like that. If they think they are upset at the prospect of getting their nails clipped, once you pop them in the mouth, then the clippers wont be so bad. And if they freak out more, then get even tougher. You are the boss, not the little kid. There is nothing to fear in the clippers, but they need to watch out for you!
    And none of this warning crap, don't count to 3. If you do count, pop them right after 1 if they don't stop.
    This is for there own good. Do you think a cop later in life is going to say 1,2,3. You need to let them know what life has in store for them. I know he is young, but if you start now it is so much easier later. and you don't have to even really do it much as they get older. They know when they might get popped and stop before they have to.
    I don't want to sound mean, I never hurt my daughter, it was more of a surprise. The shock of it was enough to do what your point is. But you know know this whole not spanking kids crap really gets to me. I don't want pay for some other persons kid in the system becasue we are not allowed to pop our kids when they don't behave. My daughter would look at other kids and say to me "that kid needs a spanking" And one time in pre school I was watching through the glass and she told another kid that she was trying to hear the teacher and it wasn't time to talk.
    I also have 3 step children (all grown up now) and when they came to visit when they were little, they knew to behave. That it is not a free for all. I was boss. When we would go to the market, we did the duck walk. They all lined up and stayed in a row and not all over the store. And this was for a reason, Didn't want to loose one and they are visiters in the store. They don't own it, and other people shouldn't have to put up with kids pitching a fit in the store. 2 of them even lived with us by their choice at they got a little older.
    One time my daughter tried to pictch a fitt in a store when she was about 3, I spanked her right there and she never, EVER did it again.
    Just my opinion and it may not be what you want to hear, but it worked for me, and I couldn't be prouder of my daughter today. Never did any of the crap I did as a kid. And I did a lot of crap.
    SM

    Yep Yep Yep!!
    My kids will not be one of those people sitting in a jail cell saying "My mama didn't..". No one is going to look at my kids as adults and wonder what in the world did *I* do to mess them up...
    It can still be done today..as long as you don't leave marks!!
  • FatDancer
    FatDancer Posts: 812 Member
    I bribe my son with M&M's!! Works everytime. I lay out some M&M's on the counter...put him on the seat. He eats, I trim....it all has to be done FAST though...LOL!!!!

    LOL! That is something my son would probably go for! :laugh: :laugh:

    So funny! I raised my son on bribes, and I prayed alot too...When he got older I got alot of auto detailing out of him...he loved to drive my car!
  • SkinnyMama
    SkinnyMama Posts: 146
    I used to and sometimes still do cut my boys finger and toe nails right after they have had a bath. It softens the nails and then they hardly notice anything. At 20 months sometimes kids can test you and throw a fit to see if they can get away with it. Only you can be the judge to determine that. You definitely don't want any bad habits to form, however, if he is having a true reaction to clippers and such, you do need to be patient. There has been some great advice given to you already. I am a believer in spanking at the right time for misbehavior, however, this doen't seem to be the time. It usually has to be pretty bad and very much a bad behavior done on purpose for me to do a swat on the behind. I had a pychology professor who once adressed the topic of spanking. He said when his son was 2-3 he started to run out towards a busy street. He did not stop when told to, so the dad ran to grab him and swatted him once-enough to get his attention and know that it wasn't a pleasant thing to have happen, but also to associate this unpleasant spank to disobediance. The child was in danger and it was better to have the unpleasant spank than a trip to hospital or worse. The whole point was to use spanking only when necessary--not for every little misbehavior. Good luck:happy:

    I would agree with this. There are times for punishment and then ther are times when the lesson that they need to learn in one that does not require that punishment. Good Luck! I hope he is feeling better:-) Parenting is hard work and every kid is different and requires different things of you. Some kids are compliant and some are strong willed. We learn as we go and do the best that we can with a lot of prayer! To all the parents on here...take a deep breath...because with each day their is a new challenge and a new blessing! And we are very blessed to have our little ones!!:flowerforyou:
  • crazybigchick
    crazybigchick Posts: 245
    My 20 month old son is suddenly terrified of getting his hair or his nails cut. It has only been the last couple of times I have tried to cut both that he has an issue. Before, it was NO problem. I haven't nicked him or anything, so he isn't afraid of pain.

    I just tried to cut his hair and he was screaming in terror!! And the last time I tried to trim his nails he did the same thing. What is it? Maybe seeing it happen scares him? Like seeing the nail clippers clip off his nail..maybe it appears evil?? LOL! I don't know! I am not really trying to make light of it..but LOL! I really have NO idea what to do! He's going to end up with hair down to his butt and long nails if I don't get to the bottom of it! Because he won't hold still either and I am afraid of cutting him bad when I do his hair. I managed to use the clippers and got enough off..but it isn't a great job. SIGH!

    What to do!

    Thanks!
    Tam

    It is just a phase. At 20 months old he probably won't scratch himself with his nails and how his hair looks isn't a real concern. I would just let it go for a while. He will grow out of it. Not worth worrying over. Honestly kids are just too funny sometimes. lol

    Mother of 4,
    Michelle

    ETA: couldn't resist putting my 2-cents in on spanking. I am pro-spanking (kinda) but it doesn't work on every child. My five year old has maybe had five spankings. She is very well behavied and obediant. Time out works like a charm for her. My 4 year old, on the other hand, could care less about time out but one swat on the bottom and he straightens up. It doesn't hurt him, just his feelings. My younger two are way too young for either. We only spank for dangerious behavior (running towards road, trying to touch stove, etc.) before the third birthday and after that we will also spank for outright disrespect and defiance. I never spank angry or stressed but I will spank my child in public if their behavior is out of line. Children need discipline and boundaries in order to grow up to be healthy happy productive members of society. Whether that discipline comes in the form of spankings, timeouts, taking away toys, extra chores, etc. it should be based on what works best for that particular child.
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