I need help and I don't know how to get it.

Canada_Torza
Canada_Torza Posts: 23
in Motivation and Support
It started a few months ago. I realised that I didn't like my body anymore so I didn't need to wear nice clothes. I then didn't need to look after it anymore because what's the point? Since going on the implant, I have gained a lot of weight while not changing my diet. I know, I know...somehow I must have changed it to gain the weight but I can honestly say I haven't noticed a difference. I eat fairly healthy food including pasta which I feel might be the problem. I think the carbs are sticking or something? I don't really know.

Anyway, today I realised that my hate for myself had gotten worse. I used to be confident but now I feel worthless. I don't know how it happened, I think it started when I realised that I was fat. I'm not massive. I know I'm not massive but I'm still big. I'm a size 14 up from a size 12 but as either size I look massive because of my small height. I want to be happier with my body and I know i need to exercise and diet but my problem right now is the motivation. I need to do it and I know I can but I just want results now which I can't have. I don't want to be fattest girl in the room [which I am more often than not]. I want to look nice for my boyfriend and to not hate every single picture posted of me. It will take time but I guess I don't know how to be patient. It is my fault I'm in this position but I don't really know what to do about it. I really want to change myself but I need to change my mind first. Change it from hating myself to wanting to help myself.

Replies

  • GardenOfSongs
    GardenOfSongs Posts: 37 Member
    I hate it to break it to you but your weight gain is probably not due to the implant... my flatmate was having similar concerns so I spoke to my cousin who is a GP and he said that weight gain associated with the implant in trials is negligible, so there must be other factors at work :ohwell:

    I know how you feel however - I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember and have often yo-yo'ed in the past, gaining and losing weight like nobody's business. This summer however whilst working in a call centre and doing very little to no exercise I gained two stone which really kicked me into gear - my size 10/12 clothes didn't fit any more and I felt fat and unlovable. I couldn't even fit into my jeans which previously fit perfectly.

    Again, speaking realistically - there is no quick fix. Nobody would be overweight or obese if there was a simple solution - the only solution is watching what you eat (calorie intake) and exercising more (expending calories - also means you can eat more within limits!)

    My fitness kick is going well so far - I invested in Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred after reading many reviews/looking at success stories and a month in I'm down 11 pounds. I still have a while to go - but it's so reassuring to at least START trying to do something about it and I feel much better for it. Good luck! You can do it - just look at all the success stories and ask for help as and when you need it.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    You are in the right place for help. The reason for weight gain is, you are taking in more calories than you are burning. While there could be some health reasons for weight gain, it is most likely that you just do not know how many calories you are actually consuming. If you are not measuring and weighing everything that goes in to your mouth, then you do not have a clear picture.

    The good new is.... you can change that! You are the only one who can change it. If and when you are ready, you will change it.

    I notice you joined here back in March, but you haven't been very active. I would advise you to start logging everything accurately every day. Set a reasonable goal, choose to lose 1 pound per week instead of 2. I know, you want the weight off yesterday, but it will be easier to stick with by not cutting too much. Don't eliminate any food groups. You can eat what you like, just make sure you make it fit into your calorie goals.
  • Canada_Torza
    Canada_Torza Posts: 23
    Yeah I didn't think it was the implant itself but I did wonder if I was being affected more by the carbs. I eat fine but then I have had a lot of bread and pasta. It never bothered me in the past but then perhaps my body has just changed in that way. I wish I could say I was eating a lot of crap because then I could at least just stop it. As it is I don't really know how to change my diet, I must be doing something wrong but it's hard not to eat pasta when you're a student. I have pretty much no money for food shopping and the healthiest food is often the more expensive. I'm still going to work really hard at cutting out carbs as much as I can. You mention the calories but I must admit I hate counting them and so have always failed to do so. In the past when I lost weight I just changed the food I was eating and cut out fizzy drinks [something that I have been drinking too much of recently] and all that sort of stuff. Do you think I should learn to count calories? It just made eating hard when I tried it before and so often I'd eat in one big sit in because I couldn't be bothered to work out the calories throughout the day.

    Exercise is something really important to me but I'm having a couple of problems and I'm so hoping someone can help me with them. I had to quit my gym membership because I didn't have enough money to afford it any longer. I was and still am gutted because I felt like I was quitting helping my body completely. I decided I could walk and run for free but I'm so embarrassed to. I just don't want anyone to see me run. Or to see me exercise. I really hate how I look and just worry that I'll be the fat girl everyone laughs at because there are cruel people out there who do. I need to exercise though - I need to build up my metabolism again because it was only in September that I actually got the 'alls good' from the doctor. I had a small brain tumor [it was benign] but it was in my brain so had a big effect on my body - doctor says my metabolism can be built up again but I need to build it up slowly. This was in September. I've been too busy with uni work to make time to exercise and I really really really need to. Basically money, embarrassment and timing have prevented me from exercising. I walk a lot but in the long run does that really help?
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Go look at the Success stories. All of these people counted their calories to get where they are today. Start today.

    Edit: Yes - walking helps.
  • Canada_Torza
    Canada_Torza Posts: 23
    Deksgrl - I joined back in March and actually did very well. I had time to spare and managed to lose weight. Unfortunately once I returned to uni in September I became too busy and my time on the site slipped completely. I lost my motivation to. Today I realised just how truly unhappy I was and decided to try the site again because it had helped. I just have to get over my busy schedule because that shouldn't be an excuse. I will try and log things. I struggled with the food diary because it didn't have a few things that I had or perhaps it did and I just didn't believe the calories intake. I want to start a diet and exercise regime today but I'm going to Paris for New Years in two days time and I don't believe I'll be able to access the internet in that time. I really really want to lose weight and I know it is hard but I also know I can do it. I just have to keep going. I lose weight and then it just doesn't come off anymore for a while and before I work out what I need to do I fall off the road to a healthier lifestyle :[

    Edit: I'll read through them. I'll try and count calories but I'm not very good at it. perhaps keeping a food diary will help.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    Start off simply................calculate your TDEE-total daily energy expenditure ....these are ALL the calories your body uses during the day (including any exercise).

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Then log your food here in MFP.......eat less than your TDEE ...and you lose weight. It's not about carbs "sticking." You have to measure your food too.....it's likely portions. When I first started I was shocked by some of the foods (calories) I was eating.

    Get logging & food squared away. Once you get that under contol.......then add some exercise. Baby steps....just keep making 1 change at a time. Trying to change everything is overwhelming.
    .
  • Canada_Torza
    Canada_Torza Posts: 23
    Thank you TeaBea, I'll try that because I think that sounds quite manageable. As I'm away from New Years would it be wise to start January 2nd? I feel like if I have a date to go on from that I can plan to start properly - or is that just prolonging the beginning of my diet?
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Yeah I didn't think it was the implant itself but I did wonder if I was being affected more by the carbs.

    No.
    I eat fine but then I have had a lot of bread and pasta. It never bothered me in the past but then perhaps my body has just changed in that way.

    No. Bodies do not spontaneously STOP metabolizing food groups, be it carbs, fats, refined sugar, or whatever. Stop blaming carbs. It's not carbs.
    I wish I could say I was eating a lot of crap because then I could at least just stop it. As it is I don't really know how to change my diet, I must be doing something wrong but it's hard not to eat pasta when you're a student. I have pretty much no money for food shopping and the healthiest food is often the more expensive. I'm still going to work really hard at cutting out carbs as much as I can.

    You don't have to stop eating pasta. Just eat reasonable portions (like actually weighing the 2 oz it says on the package) and try to get more vegetables in your diet. Frozen is fine.
    You mention the calories but I must admit I hate counting them and so have always failed to do so. In the past when I lost weight I just changed the food I was eating and cut out fizzy drinks [something that I have been drinking too much of recently] and all that sort of stuff. Do you think I should learn to count calories? It just made eating hard when I tried it before and so often I'd eat in one big sit in because I couldn't be bothered to work out the calories throughout the day.

    YES. You can't be bothered to do some simple logging? Really? Not trying to be mean, but...really? It seriously takes under five minutes per meal to do, and that's if you have a ton of ingredients to log. It gets faster the more often you do it, and the simpler you eat. It takes me about 30 seconds per meal. Anyone who doesn't have time for that is fooling themselves! That's what this site is designed to do, and they make it SOOOO easy. Take advantage of it!
    Exercise is something really important to me but I'm having a couple of problems and I'm so hoping someone can help me with them. I had to quit my gym membership because I didn't have enough money to afford it any longer. I was and still am gutted because I felt like I was quitting helping my body completely. I decided I could walk and run for free but I'm so embarrassed to. I just don't want anyone to see me run. Or to see me exercise. I really hate how I look and just worry that I'll be the fat girl everyone laughs at because there are cruel people out there who do. I need to exercise though - I need to build up my metabolism again because it was only in September that I actually got the 'alls good' from the doctor. I had a small brain tumor [it was benign] but it was in my brain so had a big effect on my body - doctor says my metabolism can be built up again but I need to build it up slowly. This was in September. I've been too busy with uni work to make time to exercise and I really really really need to. Basically money, embarrassment and timing have prevented me from exercising. I walk a lot but in the long run does that really help?

    Walking is always better than nothing. Running is probably better than walking (more calories burned for your time)

    Yes, there are jerks out there that wouldn't feel bad about yelling at an unfit person running outside, but there are mean people everywhere. Are you going to refuse to go to the grocery store because someone gave you a mean look there once?

    Are you telling us that you are willing to let the actions of others dictate how you conduct your life? Take control, do what YOU want to do, and stop giving a flying fornication in hell what anyone might think or say. Practice a particular finger raising and a favorite epithet to shout right back in the more-unlikely-than-you-think event that someone actually does try to make you feel bad while running.

    Log your food, stay at a calorie deficit, enjoy reasonable amounts of pasta, learn to buy cheap foods in bulk/prepare/freeze meals, and get out there and RUN. :flowerforyou:
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    I would start now, at least start getting the hang of the logging. Even if you won't be able to log on New Years, it will make you mindful of it, even if you don't log for a couple of days.

    And, don't think of it as a "diet". That usually comes with the idea that you eat celery and carrots until you lose the weight and then you never have to think about it again. The reality is, you need to learn a new lifestyle.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Start off simply................calculate your TDEE-total daily energy expenditure ....these are ALL the calories your body uses during the day (including any exercise).

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Then log your food here in MFP.......eat less than your TDEE ...and you lose weight. It's not about carbs "sticking." You have to measure your food too.....it's likely portions. When I first started I was shocked by some of the foods (calories) I was eating.

    Get logging & food squared away. Once you get that under contol.......then add some exercise. Baby steps....just keep making 1 change at a time. Trying to change everything is overwhelming.
    .

    And this. All of this! ^^
  • jcrooks85
    jcrooks85 Posts: 21
    We are kind of in the same boat. However, I have used my fitness pal before and counted calories, etc. I lost nearly 30lbs then. Once I lost the weight, I looked and felt great. Then I decided to slack off and go back to my old habits. BAD IDEA! I have now gained all of the wight back and then some. I am starting again, and I just wrote my first blog entry. Please read it and follow me. I will help encourage you through your journey, if you please help me with mine. Good luck, and we all have to start somewhere. You can do it!
  • GardenOfSongs
    GardenOfSongs Posts: 37 Member
    Yeah I didn't think it was the implant itself but I did wonder if I was being affected more by the carbs. I eat fine but then I have had a lot of bread and pasta. It never bothered me in the past but then perhaps my body has just changed in that way. I wish I could say I was eating a lot of crap because then I could at least just stop it. As it is I don't really know how to change my diet, I must be doing something wrong but it's hard not to eat pasta when you're a student. I have pretty much no money for food shopping and the healthiest food is often the more expensive. I'm still going to work really hard at cutting out carbs as much as I can. You mention the calories but I must admit I hate counting them and so have always failed to do so. In the past when I lost weight I just changed the food I was eating and cut out fizzy drinks [something that I have been drinking too much of recently] and all that sort of stuff. Do you think I should learn to count calories? It just made eating hard when I tried it before and so often I'd eat in one big sit in because I couldn't be bothered to work out the calories throughout the day.

    Exercise is something really important to me but I'm having a couple of problems and I'm so hoping someone can help me with them. I had to quit my gym membership because I didn't have enough money to afford it any longer. I was and still am gutted because I felt like I was quitting helping my body completely. I decided I could walk and run for free but I'm so embarrassed to. I just don't want anyone to see me run. Or to see me exercise. I really hate how I look and just worry that I'll be the fat girl everyone laughs at because there are cruel people out there who do. I need to exercise though - I need to build up my metabolism again because it was only in September that I actually got the 'alls good' from the doctor. I had a small brain tumor [it was benign] but it was in my brain so had a big effect on my body - doctor says my metabolism can be built up again but I need to build it up slowly. This was in September. I've been too busy with uni work to make time to exercise and I really really really need to. Basically money, embarrassment and timing have prevented me from exercising. I walk a lot but in the long run does that really help?

    I'm also a student, with approximately £2 to my name at the moment. The DVD I recommended above is available on Amazon for £5 with free P&P, and it takes about 20 minutes a day - VERY easy to fit around other things/uni. MFP is free to use and is probably one of the most valuable tools available!
  • Canada_Torza
    Canada_Torza Posts: 23
    I'm going to try to log from now on. In the past I failed miserably because I'd type in what I'd actually had - for instance say Fish Pie - and it would come up with different versions of it and then I didn't realise you were supposed to do all the meals separately and then I had an issue with not knowing how much i'd had. I work in cups because I don't own any food scales etc but I'm going to try and log from now on. I'll do today's log in in a second though.

    AlongCame_Mol - I know there are jerks out there it's just tough when you hate yourself. It is the reason I'm in this problem now anyway. I realised I was gaining weight towards the end of October and I normally would have just stopped it and done something about it but instead I gave up. I gave up on myself and now my self confidence is real low. I want to run because I want to lose weight but then I do notice everyone around me. I'm paranoid and I know it, can't change that in a hurry sadly because I would. I know it is stupid to care what others think but I just do and it is something I'm going to have to get over - but I can't promise I'll be able to run straight away on the basis that I feel crap about myself and am terrified that everyone else sees me the way I see me. I will try though, I'll start walking out to this bit where it's quieter and then I might practice running there. So it'll be a combo of the two to begin with.

    jcrooks85 - of course. I want friends who will help motivate me. I need friends that will help motivate me :P

    Believe it or not but I don't give up quickly, when I begin to care about my body I do everything I possibly can to make it the way I want it to be. I just want to get in the frame of mind where I want to look after it again. I want to get it back right now. I want to control it again. I want to be healthier mainly so my next step is to find food that is healthier and that is cheap :)

    I'll start now logging in as I said but I'll disappear for about four days whilst on holiday From the 4th - when I return to uni and therefore won't be eating my boyfriend's mothers food, I'll have more control over what I eat but I might as well log now and just be aware of my portions etc

    Edit - catriona176, thank you. I'll look into buying that DVD :D I'd be quite interested in trying something like that out. It's also more of a private thing that I can do in the safety of my own home.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Pick two things that you can change and change them. They don't have to be big things but the reward lies in following through. As you conquer those two things, add a couple more.

    I have a feeling you will be overwhelmed if you try to change everything at once. If you feel pasta is a problem, eat half the amount you normally would at lunch or dinner.

    If you need to get back to exercising, start small. Do some jumping jacks or crunches or other body weight exercises during commercial breaks on TV and/or go for a 15-minute walk to stretch your legs.

    You have to start small and build as you accomplish. Sleep, stay hydrated, and write down 3 things you are most grateful for before you go to bed every night.

    We know you can do this. Now you need to know it :)
  • catruledquilter
    catruledquilter Posts: 48 Member
    Yeah I didn't think it was the implant itself but I did wonder if I was being affected more by the carbs. I eat fine but then I have had a lot of bread and pasta. It never bothered me in the past but then perhaps my body has just changed in that way. I wish I could say I was eating a lot of crap because then I could at least just stop it. As it is I don't really know how to change my diet, I must be doing something wrong but it's hard not to eat pasta when you're a student. I have pretty much no money for food shopping and the healthiest food is often the more expensive. I'm still going to work really hard at cutting out carbs as much as I can. You mention the calories but I must admit I hate counting them and so have always failed to do so. In the past when I lost weight I just changed the food I was eating and cut out fizzy drinks [something that I have been drinking too much of recently] and all that sort of stuff. Do you think I should learn to count calories? It just made eating hard when I tried it before and so often I'd eat in one big sit in because I couldn't be bothered to work out the calories throughout the day.

    Exercise is something really important to me but I'm having a couple of problems and I'm so hoping someone can help me with them. I had to quit my gym membership because I didn't have enough money to afford it any longer. I was and still am gutted because I felt like I was quitting helping my body completely. I decided I could walk and run for free but I'm so embarrassed to. I just don't want anyone to see me run. Or to see me exercise. I really hate how I look and just worry that I'll be the fat girl everyone laughs at because there are cruel people out there who do. I need to exercise though - I need to build up my metabolism again because it was only in September that I actually got the 'alls good' from the doctor. I had a small brain tumor [it was benign] but it was in my brain so had a big effect on my body - doctor says my metabolism can be built up again but I need to build it up slowly. This was in September. I've been too busy with uni work to make time to exercise and I really really really need to. Basically money, embarrassment and timing have prevented me from exercising. I walk a lot but in the long run does that really help?

    Since pasta makes up a large part of your diet, look for whole grain pasta or something like the Barilla Plus line. It is still affordable but is more friendly to people who can be carb sensitive but who have to rely on the less expensive option of pasta. It helps a lot when the budget is tight!!

    You don't mention if you live on or off campus. If you have the space, frozen veggies are an excellent addition to your diet...look for the less starchy option like broccoli, green beans, spinach, cauliflower...that sort of thing. I keep a variety of non-starch frozen veggies in the freezer. Where I live, the fresh veggies are too expensive.

    Have you found out if the gym you belonged to offers a less expensive membership for students? Is there an on campus fitness center you can use?

    There are a lot of little things you can do...but do them in baby steps or you will burn out...been there done that. Now that I am 62, I find I gain weight more easily and lose it more slowly. The only time in my life that the scale said I was a healthy weight was in my late teens. I know that I was NOT HEALTHY at that weight because of what I did (and didn't) eat. Now I am aiming for a healthier weight and doing it the right way. Logging is a nuisance but it is getting easier. Some days, I just write everything down on a piece of scratch paper and then enter it at the end of the day. I do weight my food rather than use volume measurements...that is personal preference.

    Good luck with your goals and with your studies!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Imagine the immense pride and satisfaction you'll feel when you accomplish your goals, best feeling in the world!

    "Just Do It"

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