Only one person commented on my weight loss...

Every year we go to a Christmas Eve party. This year I bought a dress and everything, and I looked good. We had family over too for Christmas... Only *one* person made a comment about my weight loss. Saying I'm bummed is a huge understatement... I went from obese to a normal weight in a year (my highest weight was just a year ago), and nobody commented on it :(

I know, I lost weight for myself, but damn. This is like the one good thing I did this year, and nobody even acknowledges it...
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Replies

  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    Sometimes I'm actually afraid to comment on someone's weightloss. What if her relationship broke up, and she's on the "heartbreak diet"? What if she's sick? (It's sort of the flip side to "never congratulate a pregnant woman unless you're 100% certain she's actually pregnant.")

    72 pounds is amazing. Congratulations!
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
    Aww.. Sorry that does suck.

    None he less, congrats on your loss. Keep it up and do not be deterred!
  • Notorious_Pig
    Notorious_Pig Posts: 4 Member
    72 pounds. Awesome. Well done.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Fabulous weight loss. And, I'm *sure* people noticed! Sometimes people feel awkward and don't feel like they should comment on it. It's kind of personal to comment on someone's body.

    And sometimes people noticing isn't as fun as you think.

    I lost my extra weight a couple years ago, but still remember and bristle at a couple things people said when I lost weight. For example:

    One co-worker came up to me at our office holiday party in 2011 and said 'You've lost weight... have you been ill?'

    Another stopped me in the hall a few months after that and said 'You've lost weight. Enjoy it while you can because everyone who loses weight just gains it all back!'

    I'd rather hear nothing than hear either of those comments! :laugh:
  • MsTru2U
    MsTru2U Posts: 119 Member
    Congrats on your loss! :flowerforyou: I know how that feels. Unfortunately, jealousy can sometimes be silent.....
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    With the whole fat acceptance movement in full swing, why are you surprised? It's highly risky to make any comment about anyone's weight these days because of people getting offended and blowing up in your face.
  • Jovette42
    Jovette42 Posts: 280 Member
    At a very young age Mami use to tell me "Jovette not everybody wants you to succeed and not everybody wants to see you blessed." Once I learned that lesson my life was better. As much as it feels good to hear it there are some people who will not for many reasons and yes jealousy is the #1. If a person is confident in themselves then compliments others, especially women, will NOT be an issue.

    This is my opinion, I am NOT a psychiatrist but I do play one on tv :wink:
  • gcbma
    gcbma Posts: 112 Member
    Sometimes, people suck. I think you're doing an amazing job! You should post a pic!

    My hubs grandmother asked if they were going go put me on a diet.... my sister in law was the only one who noticed I had loast weight. I have a lot to go, but I don't think losing 50 lbs is something to laugh at.

    Didn't mean to steal your post. I'm sure you were rocking it!
  • 20Grit
    20Grit Posts: 752 Member
    I'll tell ya! You LOOK Frickin AWESOME! Job Well Done! Keep it up!!!
    It does hurt when you work so hard and no one says anything, but every once in a while you will get that one person that makes it feel soooo much better, But remember that isn't why we do this, I I would have quit over a year ago! Keep your head held high and keep on doing what your doing!!!

    ^^^^ and what gcbma said - Some people just suck.
  • roosterblue
    roosterblue Posts: 25 Member
    Even if I don't know you, I for one am very proud of you! It could be a variety of reasons why people didn't say something, but they could have at least said, "Wow, you look amazing!" without directly making it about weight loss. People can be really dense, sometimes!
  • I agree it can be awkward. Imagine commenting on someone's weight loss and being told "I only lost weight because I have cancer!" I think I'd rather keep quiet and only comment if they bring it up somehow.
    Although then they might think you are only commenting because you think you should! Sucks either way!

    Be proud of yourself for what you have achieved. It's awesome!
  • Firstly, let me say Congratulations on your weight loss......72lbs & counting is a huge success so you should feel proud! Having said that, I agree with the other members on here who believed that people probably didn't comment to you out of fear of the unknown. You mentioned "we" go to a holiday party every year so I'm going to assume you are referring to your spouse; have you inquired to him if people made comments or inquires? I say that because since they're his coworkers, they might feel more comfortable asking him than you........just a thought!
  • SteamClutch
    SteamClutch Posts: 433 Member
    Very cool, I totally get the need for affirmation. Keep up the good work people will come around eventually.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    I am sure that people have noticed. It can be a touchy subject and sometimes people are reluctant to comment for a variety of reasons, many stated on the replies here. What you have done is awesome. Be proud and know you are healthier and have done a fantastic job!

    I had one guy I work with finally tell me I looked great. He told me he didn't say anything before because he didn't want me to think he thought my appearance was unacceptable before I lost the weight. His wife lost 100# during the same time, and told him it would be ok to say something, so he took her advice.
  • 73Laine
    73Laine Posts: 63 Member
    Wow 72lbs is alot to b proud of. I am proud for u. No matter if u get the compliments or not just be proud of urself. U have done great.
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 376 Member
    Awww....that stinks. Last Christmas, I had lost 30 pounds, and everyone made a big deal about how great I looked. This year, I've lost another 20 pounds and no one said anything. I was so bummed. The last 20 have been harder to lose, and have made less of an impact on how I look in general than the first 30 did.

    Congratulations on your amazing loss!
  • donnymom
    donnymom Posts: 32 Member
    If I hadn't seen you in a year, I would have told you," you look great!"
    Be very proud of yourself. What an accomplishment!
    Don't let people disappoint you. I do and next thing I know, I'm eating to comfort myself!
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    I agree it can be awkward. Imagine commenting on someone's weight loss and being told "I only lost weight because I have cancer!" I think I'd rather keep quiet and only comment if they bring it up somehow.
    Although then they might think you are only commenting because you think you should! Sucks either way!

    Be proud of yourself for what you have achieved. It's awesome!

    Been there - complimented someone I hadn't seen in a year. He looked great and had clearly lost weight...and passed away ~4 months after I saw him. Granted, he had a lot to lose, but it sounds like OP here did too (and GREAT job, btw - 72 pound is AWESOME!).

    OP, I'm sorry you didn't get some positive feedback on your amazing accomplishment. Hopefully there will be other times that make up for it. Meanwhile, your fellow MFPers appreciate your hard work!
  • It's highly risky to make any comment about anyone's weight these days because of people getting offended and blowing up in your face.

    Agreed. I would never comment about someone's weight, good or bad. You just never know how they will react.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Yeah me too. My loss was less dramatic but I wore a tighter outfit than usual to show off. Don't let it get you down. :flowerforyou:
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
    Awesome weight loss. You look fabulous. Sorry others did not notice. *I* noticed. :smile:
  • judyde
    judyde Posts: 401 Member
    With the whole fat acceptance movement in full swing, why are you surprised? It's highly risky to make any comment about anyone's weight these days because of people getting offended and blowing up in your face.

    I sort of agree with this. WIth 2/3 of adults being overweight or obese, chances are good that many people at that party are overweight. So someone who's fat doesn't want to comment, since they need to lose weight, and others don't want to offend the fat people by saying "You are thin, you look great" since that implies that the fat people they are standing next to don't look great.

    I think they also feel like it would end up almost feeling like an insult by saying "Hey you lost a lot of weight, you look great" and then that must mean "You were fat before, you looked terrible."

    I am actually relieved that most people aren't saying anything where I work.
  • golfmonk
    golfmonk Posts: 119 Member
    I am kind of in the same boat as you.

    I am at approximately the halfway point in my weight loss journey (19 pounds out of 40) and only one person at work had said anything (and it was kind of positive, but one of these you look fine now, don't lose more weight speech). I have gotten positive compliments from family, my physician and my MFP friends, but that is the extent of it.

    I am doing the weight loss for myself and every pound loss does help take pressure off the knee, but it would be nice to get some positive feedback from the people I work with. I think once I get to the goal weight, I am sure they will say something (probably along the lines of you lost too much weight or/and have a cheeseburger)! lol

    Good luck everyone on reaching their goals!
  • You have accomplished something amazing! Having been in your situation before, it is often better not to get comments.

    I think I'd rather hear nothing than "Don't lose more weight!" or "Do you have an eating disorder?"

    But I do understand your desire to be complimented. Congratulations!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    In my experience, people are reluctant to talk about weight in general. For good reason too...I know a whole lot of people who can't take a compliment for ****. I commented once to someone that I thought they looked great and good job losing the weight, etc...what I got in return was, "so basically you thought I was an ugly fat *kitten* before?" Like I said...lot of people can't take a compliment and you never know how talking about ones weight is going to come off, even if you mean well...so a lot of people notice but don't feel comfortable talking about it.
  • SimplyDenyse
    SimplyDenyse Posts: 124 Member
    I have had several people come up to me after seeing me several times before and saying they noticed the loss but thought it would be rude to compliment. I always reply. "NOOOO.. compliments are exactly what I want to hear" LOL especially at a christmas party maybe they were concidering it to be extreamly rude.


    Who knows but know you've done awesome and don't let it discurage you to keep going.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Agreed, people can be funny when it comes to complimenting weight loss. Part of it is that everything is so PC these days that we're all afraid to say the wrong thing and offend people we care about. The other part is that, as someone else said, sometimes people who don't feel so great about themselves can't bring themselves to bring someone else up by complimenting them. It's sh!tty but true.

    I also believe that there's a bit of Murphy's Law involved. When I feel super cute and proud of myself and expect lots of compliments, that's usually when I don't get them. It seems like I get the most when I least expect them. Like recently, after quite a bit of of plateau (just laziness) I got on the ball and lost a couple pounds and didn't notice much of a difference myself but two people complimented me in a week. So, you just never know.

    Regardless, don't let it get you down. You know you're doing awesome and look awesome. Who cares what the jerks think?! :flowerforyou:
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    I know it's disappointing when no one makes a comment about it, but you know you've done well for yourself.

    I myself tend to say such things as "You're looking well!" rather than making a comment about their weight loss. An employee at my hospital has lost a considerable amount of weight in a very short period of time (easily over 100lbs), but it turns out she'd had weight loss surgery, and had a terrible time with infections. For her, while weight loss was her goal, her health suffered for it.
  • kittylala
    kittylala Posts: 11 Member
    Fantastic Job!!! I have noticed not many people commenting on my weight loss also but trying to not get to offended. By commenting on loss maybe they feel like they are indicating you were overweight before & not wanting to offend. Know you have done wonderful, IT IS noticable & they are all thinking it, just maybe not saying it.
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    Someone noticed my weight loss and was afraid to comment becouse the last person he commented on their weight loss, cancer and chemo was the cause of the weight loss. Then it was you are not sick are you?