Only one person commented on my weight loss...

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  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
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    Awesome weight loss. You look fabulous. Sorry others did not notice. *I* noticed. :smile:
  • judyde
    judyde Posts: 401 Member
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    With the whole fat acceptance movement in full swing, why are you surprised? It's highly risky to make any comment about anyone's weight these days because of people getting offended and blowing up in your face.

    I sort of agree with this. WIth 2/3 of adults being overweight or obese, chances are good that many people at that party are overweight. So someone who's fat doesn't want to comment, since they need to lose weight, and others don't want to offend the fat people by saying "You are thin, you look great" since that implies that the fat people they are standing next to don't look great.

    I think they also feel like it would end up almost feeling like an insult by saying "Hey you lost a lot of weight, you look great" and then that must mean "You were fat before, you looked terrible."

    I am actually relieved that most people aren't saying anything where I work.
  • golfmonk
    golfmonk Posts: 119 Member
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    I am kind of in the same boat as you.

    I am at approximately the halfway point in my weight loss journey (19 pounds out of 40) and only one person at work had said anything (and it was kind of positive, but one of these you look fine now, don't lose more weight speech). I have gotten positive compliments from family, my physician and my MFP friends, but that is the extent of it.

    I am doing the weight loss for myself and every pound loss does help take pressure off the knee, but it would be nice to get some positive feedback from the people I work with. I think once I get to the goal weight, I am sure they will say something (probably along the lines of you lost too much weight or/and have a cheeseburger)! lol

    Good luck everyone on reaching their goals!
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    You have accomplished something amazing! Having been in your situation before, it is often better not to get comments.

    I think I'd rather hear nothing than "Don't lose more weight!" or "Do you have an eating disorder?"

    But I do understand your desire to be complimented. Congratulations!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    In my experience, people are reluctant to talk about weight in general. For good reason too...I know a whole lot of people who can't take a compliment for ****. I commented once to someone that I thought they looked great and good job losing the weight, etc...what I got in return was, "so basically you thought I was an ugly fat *kitten* before?" Like I said...lot of people can't take a compliment and you never know how talking about ones weight is going to come off, even if you mean well...so a lot of people notice but don't feel comfortable talking about it.
  • SimplyDenyse
    SimplyDenyse Posts: 124 Member
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    I have had several people come up to me after seeing me several times before and saying they noticed the loss but thought it would be rude to compliment. I always reply. "NOOOO.. compliments are exactly what I want to hear" LOL especially at a christmas party maybe they were concidering it to be extreamly rude.


    Who knows but know you've done awesome and don't let it discurage you to keep going.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Agreed, people can be funny when it comes to complimenting weight loss. Part of it is that everything is so PC these days that we're all afraid to say the wrong thing and offend people we care about. The other part is that, as someone else said, sometimes people who don't feel so great about themselves can't bring themselves to bring someone else up by complimenting them. It's sh!tty but true.

    I also believe that there's a bit of Murphy's Law involved. When I feel super cute and proud of myself and expect lots of compliments, that's usually when I don't get them. It seems like I get the most when I least expect them. Like recently, after quite a bit of of plateau (just laziness) I got on the ball and lost a couple pounds and didn't notice much of a difference myself but two people complimented me in a week. So, you just never know.

    Regardless, don't let it get you down. You know you're doing awesome and look awesome. Who cares what the jerks think?! :flowerforyou:
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    I know it's disappointing when no one makes a comment about it, but you know you've done well for yourself.

    I myself tend to say such things as "You're looking well!" rather than making a comment about their weight loss. An employee at my hospital has lost a considerable amount of weight in a very short period of time (easily over 100lbs), but it turns out she'd had weight loss surgery, and had a terrible time with infections. For her, while weight loss was her goal, her health suffered for it.
  • kittylala
    kittylala Posts: 11 Member
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    Fantastic Job!!! I have noticed not many people commenting on my weight loss also but trying to not get to offended. By commenting on loss maybe they feel like they are indicating you were overweight before & not wanting to offend. Know you have done wonderful, IT IS noticable & they are all thinking it, just maybe not saying it.
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
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    Someone noticed my weight loss and was afraid to comment becouse the last person he commented on their weight loss, cancer and chemo was the cause of the weight loss. Then it was you are not sick are you?
  • eandrus
    eandrus Posts: 45 Member
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    Same thing happened to my 19 yo daughter -- out of thirty or so relatives she hadn't seen in a year, only her grandmother told her how great she looked. She has lost about 75 pounds in a year while away at college and is now down to a size six (at 5'6") and gorgeous. I am sixty years old and don't take it too hard when people don't acknowledgement my achievements, but she is still so young...and having been significantly overweight all of her life (and teased by these same relatives mercilessly for it), it struck me as particularly cruel. BTW, I never say, "Wow, you sure have lost a LOT OF WEIGHT," or words to that effect, but I do say sincerely and in private to the person something like, "By the way, you look great (or beautiful)," or "that outfit/dress/suit really looks good on you." In other words, get your message across without any mention of poundage.
  • xreinvention
    xreinvention Posts: 82 Member
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    Congrats! 72 is an AMAZING loss. It sucks when people don't say anything and you expected them to. But there's no way they didn't notice!
    Before I had my daughter (I had lost almost 70lbs) I came back to my home town and it seemed like every (male) person that wanted to comment said the exact same thing. "Wow, you're hot now!" Which makes you feel almost as bad as no one saying anything. Sometimes people just don't know how to say it without sounding offensive, so don't take it to heart too much!
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    Congrats! 72 is an AMAZING loss. It sucks when people don't say anything and you expected them to. But there's no way they didn't notice!
    Before I had my daughter (I had lost almost 70lbs) I came back to my home town and it seemed like every (male) person that wanted to comment said the exact same thing. "Wow, you're hot now!" Which makes you feel almost as bad as no one saying anything. Sometimes people just don't know how to say it without sounding offensive, so don't take it to heart too much!

    Yeah, that is almost worse. The first time I lost weight, a boy in one of my classes felt it necessary to tell me that I was "meh" before and "hot" after.
  • blakeevan04
    blakeevan04 Posts: 40 Member
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    That is disappointing especially since you lost quite a bit of weight in one year. I have been there, 9 years ago after my first child was born, I lost 50 lbs in just over a year and got back down to my high school weight and my sister and best friend never acknowledged it!! I was a little hurt but felt great nonetheless.
  • Seaglass1123
    Seaglass1123 Posts: 500 Member
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    What you have done is awesome! Don't let other peoples lack of comments get you down. Sometimes people don't know what to say. Congrats on all your hard work!
  • egrusy
    egrusy Posts: 196 Member
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    What you have done is awesome! Don't let other peoples lack of comments get you down. Sometimes people don't know what to say. Congrats on all your hard work!

    ^^^^ This. There's a person I work with occasionally that I hadn't seen in many months that had dropped a LOT of weight. I held myself in check from commenting on it because of what other people have said here: I was afraid he might be sick. I simply could not come up with the right words. "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight, you're not sick are you?" just didn't seem to cut it :smile:

    BIG congratulations and pat on the back for your weight loss!! :flowerforyou:
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    Someone noticed my weight loss and was afraid to comment becouse the last person he commented on their weight loss, cancer and chemo was the cause of the weight loss. Then it was you are not sick are you?

    Doesn't cancer and chemo weight loss look less "healthy" than systematic, intentional weight loss? I feel like it is easy to tell when someone has cancer. They look sickly thin, not healthy fit.

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