Really confused.

I'm not trained professionally, but I have worked with a personal trainer for over 10 years. He has always told me that cario and weight training must go hand in hand from the beginning. The cardio gives you the killer burn, but your burn stops the minute you get off the treadmill. Muscle burns fat up to 48 hours after you stop lifting, so your initial burn isn't as high, but the long term calorie burn and ultimatly metabolism shift is much better. Plus strong muscles just look better, even when you're not at your weight goal yet.

Start here:
Read this link and all of the links in it.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?page=1#posts-16625920

Everything you ever needed to know is here.

+1 or 2...

I coached quite a few people on body transformations. The biggest part is to eat clean, drink a lot of water, and make sure you are getting a lot of protein. As far as exercise, a mixture of cardio and weights are how you want to do it. Cardio is going to help burn calories and fat, and weights are going to build muscle ( muscle burns more calories than fat) so building lean muscle while losing fat will help to create a quicker overall body transformation.

I coached quite a few people on body transformations. The biggest part is to eat clean, drink a lot of water, and make sure you are getting a lot of protein. As far as exercise, a mixture of cardio and weights are how you want to do it. Cardio is going to help burn calories and fat, and weights are going to build muscle ( muscle burns more calories than fat) so building lean muscle while losing fat will help to create a quicker overall body transformation.

If the individual is in a caloric deficit (losing fat), how are they going to build muscle (caloric surplus) at the same time? There may be some noob gains in the beginning, but nothing more after that.

You lift in a deficit to Maintain Muscle Mass. When you're in a deficit the body will lose fat, water, and LBM. Lifting in a deficit is to maintain as much muscle as possible, not build anything (but strength).

Should I be aiming at losing the weight and then focus on gaining muscle mass after?

In general yes. You should certainly weight train but you aren't going to gain much muscle - just keep what you have. This is because you should be eating at a deficit and losing weight. Lose the fat until you get down around 15% body fat then focus on more muscle.

or is there a way to work on both without screwing myself over.

You could try doing a re-comp, but honestly at this point you should just focus on losing. A re-comp is going to be slower and a little more work. You may get frustrated by not seeing the weight come off as fast.

I guess in the end I'm just looking for a simple clear cut answer on what I should be doing.

A decent strategy is to alternate between these two modes:
Lift weights, do some cardio, eat at enough of a deficit you lose 1 - 2 lbs per week until you get to about 15% body fat

Lift weights, do some cardio, eat at enough of a surplus you gain 1 - 2 lbs per week until you get to about 20% body fat

After you do this cycle a couple of times you will probably be experienced enough that you can decide for yourself what to do.

you gotta take the whole package i'm afraid: better diet, less calories, exercise (cardio + weight). if you can't take it all do the best that you can