Starting over at 35.

Hi all,

I'm Nicki from Liverpool in the UK. I'm a single mum to a very moody almost-13-years-old daughter. I turn 35 in less than a month and I am sick of this excess weight I've been carrying around since I was a teenager! I've dieted in the past and managed to get as low as 13st 11lbs (I remember my delight at reaching that weight in 2004 as I'd never seen 13st anything on scales for me since I was about 11 years old!) but I'm an emotional eater and I've managed to gain all the weight I've lost and added some more. Today I weigh in at 18st 7 3/4lbs and I need to get down to 12st for the sake of my health.

I suffer from Raynaud's, scoliosis, high blood pressure (usually managed to just keep within the high side of normal since I started having it measured at 15 years old) and they have all gotten much worse as my weight has increased. I now also suffer with breathing difficulties, sore hips/knees/ankles and 'women' problems all of which have been put down to my increased weight. I've now had enough. I want my life back. I want to shop in regular ranges for clothes, instead of always the plus size. At this rate I won't see my daughter turn 18.

I grew up with big portions and constantly being told "you're not leaving the table until you've cleared your plate!" so my portion control is hopeless. My scoliosis meant I was unable to do sports at school (by order of my doctor at the time due to the treatment I was receiving) and as a result I hate just about all sports. I like to walk, and I used to walk 8 miles a day for 'fun', but at the moment I struggle to walk any distance without pain. I plan on changing this in the New Year by slowly building up to walking a decent distance again. Exercise DVDs I've done in the past are also a struggle for me. I just get too out of breath. So I'm starting off with using my daughters Wii Fit to try and increase my exercise slowly.

Food is a struggle. I've been lazy the last few years and have become more and more reliant on take-away food, or filling up on pasta. I am a carb addict and so is my daughter. I'm trying to get her to eat more healthily as I've noticed she's choosing crisps and chocolate over fruit/veg as she gets older, whereas when she was little it was hard to get her to leave the fruit/veg alone. I don't want her making the same mistakes I made growing up as that how I ended up the size I am. Given the choice she would live on pasta, pizza, cola, fried chips and sausage.

I've tried MFP before and I did do well, but I fell off the wagon. I am hoping that 2014 is the year that I can loose the weight (even if its just 40lbs!) and start living the life I want, instead of the one I'm forced to live.