Last week = funeral + Xmas

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Ravendavid
Ravendavid Posts: 2 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I just wrote a message and it deleted itself.

Last week was hard. Attended my father's funeral and had to be strong for my family on Christmas. Christmas was my dad's favorite day of year, and his family were his heart and soul.

Prior to my Dad's passing I was on fast track to loosing a lot of weight that needed to be lost. Since Dad's passing I've gained a little back and I'm worried I'll lose myself to food and emotionally eating. If I continue down the track I'll gain all my weight and more. That I'll get very unwell as well. I fear that I'll take ten steps backwards and disappoint myself.

Maybe this is too soon to post about moving on but it's not that kind of post. My dad would want me to look after myself and keep on keeping so I'm trying to do just that. I need some support and want this new year to be a better one.

I'm good at doing things on my own but with my current state of mind I think I need some support. To keep me moving and living.

Keen to meet some new friends and eager to focus and look after myself. Dad would have wanted that.

Cheers xo

Replies

  • llabruce4
    llabruce4 Posts: 41 Member
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    Actually went through the same thing last week, except it was a grandmother's funeral and then Christmas back to back. My way of coping ( and I understand that losing a parent has to be a lot worse than what I am dealing with) is to use her memory as motivation to try to stay on track and make the right choices. I am not the best with my food choices anyway, but am using this hard time to start fresh and think about myself for once. Add me if you would like, and I can try to help be supportive the best I can. You will get through this, and come out stronger on the other side. Sorry again for your loss
  • aspowie
    aspowie Posts: 1 Member
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    Dang...what a week :(

    I won't say "be strong" or "move on." What I will say is grieve, cry, and try to get outside. I am not sure how the weather is where you are (U.K.?), but if you can walk or run it will keep you from eating and the air *may* help emotionally. Your Dad sounds amazing and you sound like a wonderful daughter. Keep moving forward for him and his memory and when things get tough and you want to eat or stop, say "forward" to yourself and remember that's the only way to go. Anything other than that keeps you from your goals, which not only includes your personal health, but your life.

    I hope today is a good day for you and I hope tomorrow will be a little better. If not, that's ok. Just keep moving forward...the next day just might be.
  • DR2501
    DR2501 Posts: 661 Member
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    I feel for you as this is also the story of my Xmas - it was my fiance's grandfather that passed away, although he was really like her second dad.

    I won't go for the usual comments either, as I know they don't really help, bu I do hope that 2014 is better for you :)
  • latiecong
    latiecong Posts: 1
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    Lost my mother this month after moving home and caring for her for months. I'm coming to understand that the ups and downs of the grieving process, for me at least, seem to involve my relationship with food. Hoping 2014 can be different and maybe now I will have a chance to focus on myself. So sorry about the loss of your father especially during a time so rooted in familial togetherness. best of luck seeking a healthier you. :D
  • Kaelitr0n
    Kaelitr0n Posts: 151 Member
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    My condolences for your loss. It gets harder before it gets easier, but you're absolutely doing the right thing. You're moving on only in regard to what's right for you, but that doesn't mean that you're leaving the memory of him behind. I lost my father some years back, so if you ever need a kindred spirit to talk to, I'd be happy to lend an ear.
  • Deaconis
    Deaconis Posts: 8
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    I am so sorry for your loss. It is tough to lose someone you love, even more so around the holidays. It sounds as if you and your father had a great relationship and you say he would have wanted you to continue your journey, keep on your path in memory of him.

    We're all here for you.. feel free to friend me and if you ever need an ear just give a holler!
  • witmer1
    witmer1 Posts: 128 Member
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    I've been going through this since my wife's passing in August. Give yourself time to heal, but at the same time, don't give yourself permission to go off the rails. I know it's hard, but you can do this. Use his memory to motivate yourself. Do what's right for you and what he'd want you to do.
  • Ravendavid
    Ravendavid Posts: 2 Member
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    Hiya,

    I didn't think I'd get the response I did. Thank you for messaging back. I've added you all as friends :). I'm sorry to those that have lost someone. It wouldn't matter if I had broken my leg and you had a burn. It also wouldn't matter if we had those injuries in two different time periods. Both cause pain just like loss. It doesn't matter who passed or when. It all causes pain so I'm very sorry for your each and individual pain.

    My dad was my mentor and my first fan. I guess I haven't said much about myself. I wrote that post very late at night.

    I'm 23 from New Zealand. I'm completing my degree in Creative Writing. My dad was always proud of me and respected me as an individual. My gender never came up in our conversations. I truly believed I could do anything and being a girl was just an added bonus. He was a dreamer, a believer and always brought the family together.

    I've written a first book of trilogy that I'm still currently editing. I was working so hard to get it out there so my dad could finally see the 'David' name on print, but obviously things are different. I need motivation to get going on a lot of things. It's hard to find that inspiration when my main supporter is gone, but I will not give in or give up.

    My dad passed at the ripe age of 53 and he was a fit and healthy man. I'm one of nine children and I'm the youngest girl. Sadly I have two little brothers who wont know how great of a father they had, so I want to stay healthy as I need to be here for a lot of people.

    It's summer here in Kiwiland so I can go our for walks and I do have gym membership. I just need get moving. I already feel motivated so thank you all. I love to workout and be healthy, and I wan't to get back that feeling. It's New Year's Eve here and I want to start the year right. I'm glad that you all are part of my new journey. Take care :)

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