Happy New Year!

Two drunk guys stumble out of a bar and get into their car. After they've been driving for a while, they see a ghostly face appear at the window.
"It's a ghost, dude!"
"Roll down the window, ask him what he wants!" The driver rolls down the window, and asks the ghost.
"You got a smoke?" They give him a smoke, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.
"You got a light?" They give a light, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.
"You guys need help getting out the mud?"

or kill someone,, coming from a loved one who died.
AND I AM A DRINKER.
SO BEHAVE
OR I WILL KICK YOUR *kitten*.

A drunk staggers down the street with his car keys in his hand, staggering from one parked car to another until he is finally stopped by a policeman who asks "What's the problem, buddy?". The drunk replies "Someone stole my car! *hic*".

"Where did you last see it?". "It was right here on the end of my car key ..." the drunk says. Sensing a pointless conversation about to start, the policeman suggests that the drunk just catch a taxi and go home. Turning to leave, he pauses and mentions to the drunk "Did you happen to notice your fly is open?". Looking down at his fly, the drunk exclaims "Omigod occifer! Someone stole my girlfriend, too!"

Happy New year Hope this year will be a great one for you all

Happy New Year to you too

So far I am. Hope you do too.