Maintaining Motivation

the_jinxster
the_jinxster Posts: 63
in Motivation and Support
I see so many success stories of people my weight losing it all and becoming healthy, I've felt so inspired by other peoples journeys, people posting here, even family members who have lost the weight. I have been scared to death of my own mortality with cancer scares, the loss of a close friend, my fathers diabetes, my nans asthma and lung cancer and I've felt motivated by my own determination and true longing to be healthy again, as well as, in my past, having friends who have supported me by encouraging me and even joining me at the gym or in a sport. I have been broken by my self image and just how overweight I have become in the moments it all dawns on me, I get upset and then I man up and get driven again...

...and yet for the past 7-8 years I have felt all these things, passionately, I have started diets, I have sought advice, I have been to the doctor, I have learned the truth about how if I really want to be healthy I must portion control better, and exercise more and that no fad diets work and that all weight loss targeted products are a con. But instead of realising all this and becoming the man I want to be, instead of losing weight, I have gained it. I persist in destroying my body and the life that I am just starting to come to love again.

And I don't understand why. I am not a stupid person, and I do not lack will power (I quit smoking after ten years a smoker 2 years ago by going cold turkey). I am stubborn but I acknowledge that and recognise it in my self (so surely I could change it right?). So why do I always seem to run out of inspiration, motivation and drive after only a few weeks of taking it seriously? How do people who inspire me really achieve their goals? Is it all a con? Is it all just money that got them there? Am I missing something?

To answer myself, I should just shut up and move my *kitten* more. That's the annoying thing. I actually know it...
But I just thought I'd ask...

Replies

  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
    Do you love yourself deeply and truly in this very moment just as you are right now? After 40 years of not loving me I finally fell in love with me as a morbidly obese person. This has given me the strength to stop poisoning myself with food. Every mistake I make now with my food intake doesn't have this huge emotional toll resulting in a binge. Now I just correct (MFP) very helpful here to plan a recovery in next meal. Every day that goes by loosens the shackles I had allowed food to bind me. I can honestly say I love me more than food now. Which means I can love my family more than food as well. Pity this wasn't the case for most of my life.
  • lighteningjeanne855
    lighteningjeanne855 Posts: 566 Member
    Some motivational thoughts for you:
    Baby steps!
    Inch by inch, anything is a 'cinch'; yard by yard is HARD!
    Don't let the GOOD be overshadowed by the PERFECT.
    Never give up!
    F-A-I-L means "First Attempt In Learning".
    E-N-D means "Effort Never Dies."
    N-O means "Next Opportunity".
    So let's be positive!!

    As many of us tell one another, we're NOT dieting, we're changing our lifestyles.
    Your doctor will tell you that your health will improve by losing just 10% of your present body weight.

    Perhaps you are intimidated by the large amount of weight that you need to lose to be healthy.
    Take it in stages! Play with some numbers:
    -What is the total amount of pounds you need to lose?
    -Divide that number into thirds, fourths, or eighths.
    -Subtract that (third, fourth or eighth) number of pounds from your present weight.
    Voila! You have your first mini-goal!

    How does one accomplish a mini-goal?
    -Decide how much weight you want to lose per week.
    MFP recommends no more than 2 pounds per week.
    Of course, you'll lose more than 8 pounds your first few weeks; that's normal,
    but then the amount will be less.

    What should your calorie intake be?
    -Calculate your BMR, or Basal Metabolism Rate, according to your gender, weight, and height
    -Calculate your CURRENT TDEE, according to your BMR and activity levels.

    Concentrate on losing weight and becoming fit in stages, over two year's time.
    Then, the changes you make will become ingrained as habits for maintenance.

    Exercise? You don't need to join a gym, yet, unless you can afford a personal trainer
    to be sure you are challenged, but not injured. Injuries are NOT motivating.

    Start out easy: walk as far as you can in15 minutes, and then return in 15 minutes
    Poof! 30 minutes of cardio exercise! The next day, how much farther can you go in 15 minutes?
    Personally, I don't think obese folks should run--your knees will be TRASHED when you reach middle age!
    My knees are arthritic, merely from being obese for so many years.
    Ride a bicycle or exercycle. Swim laps.

    For getting strong, look up exercises which use your body weight as resistance.
    For routines, there are many great websites and youTube videos.
    Get a set of kettlebells to swing, but go easy at first.
    http://kettlebellworkouts.com/kettlebell-workout-starting-point/

    Best wishes, Jinxster.
    You can DO this!
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/
  • the_jinxster
    the_jinxster Posts: 63
    Thank you for your replies, they are much appreciated and have given me a lot to think about. I do struggle a lot with structuring myself/self organisation and so haven't really incorporated any real milestones other than the weekly 2 lbs goal, I will try include some longer interim goals.

    I haven't logged for the past couple of weeks due to crashing big time. I have always struggled with routine, some rebellious streak seems to have become ingrained to the point where the idea of routine actually makes me uncomfortable. I think that is probably what I need to address the most.

    As for loving myself that comes and goes depending on the day, If I am caught up in what is going on around me more than what is going on within, I tend to be feeling more confident and more content, when left alone I become self destructive again, not really consciously.

    I think the crux of the issue lies in self discipline all round not just with food. I need to pay more attention to my body, its just difficult after years of ignoring it.

    Thanks for your help :)
  • katew221
    katew221 Posts: 82 Member
    I just wanted to say, you honestly sound exactly like me for my whole adult life (and a fair bit of my childhood as well). I have been successfully losing on MFP since October, and I have lost 17 lbs as of today, which may not sound like much when some people have lost hundreds of lbs, but for me it just feels unbelievable to be losing at all let alone continuously!

    The biggest difference in me actually sticking at the losing game and not getting discouraged and binging/feeling sorry for myself was making the decision to change out of self respect, not out of self loathing. I set myself up for years in the pattern of 'I'm a failure and disgusting for letting myself get this fat, therefore I shall change everything in a day and when I can't keep it up or I haven't miraculously become a completely different person in a week or two I will take this as proof of my being a disgusting failure and will accept my fate until the next time someone takes a picture of me, at which point I will repeat the whole process'.

    I have to say to myself every day that it doesn't matter whether I lose a pound a week or a pound a year, I want to live in a way in which I can be proud of. I definitely believe you can too, and I promise that no binge will beat the feeling of seeing those scales show numbers you never imagined they would! Once you just give it time to get going, I am sure you will get the buzz from the loss, not from the sugar :) As hard as it is to not get focussed on the way you look on the outside (it's not vanity, it's self consciousness), I have to force myself to let that happen on it's own and in it's own time, while I take care of making it through the urges and the self-discipline one meal at a time!

    I wish you so much luck in your journey to being healthy, and please don't hang too much on your own opinion of yourself, I find that I talk nonsense to myself all the time, but for the last few months I have been trying to listen only to the voice that says 'just one step at a time'.

    Best wishes,
    Kate

    P.S. Two more practical tips - firstly have a look at something called Garcinia Cambogia, it helped start me off, and secondly I would set your goals to losing 1 lb or even 0.5 lb a week, because it will help you avoid the trap we both share of giving up after a single mistake, and make you feel better because you'll be eating less than your goal, without feeling like you HAVE to eat less than a certain amount. It just helps to trick my psychology into thinking I have done better than expected, rather than just hanging on my the skin of my teeth!
  • the_jinxster
    the_jinxster Posts: 63
    Hey Kate,

    Thanks so much for the response, I appreciate you taking the time to do that and for being so honest. I think 17lbs is incredible! Really well done! I think 2014 really needs to be a year of looking after myself, I have a new job interview lined up with the possibility of relocating (something I've always wanted to do) and have been looking for work since graduating last year. I have been too easily demotivated by the lack of responses from job applications (over 300 since aug last year) but I'm determined to get this job and really start finding stability in life. If anything the up and down nature of my situation over the past few years has proven that when times are hard, they will pass and nomatter how doomful my situation looks, it will get better and the spell will pass. I think instead of thinking '*kitten* it who cares?' when ordering takeout or midnight fridge raiding when I'm struggling, I need to remember that whatever is causing me so much stress will pass and answer my own question with 'Me...I care'.

    Thanks for your support and understanding, and for passing on a bit of wisdom.

    Wishing you a Happy New Year!

    Arron

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