WELCOME TO MFP NEWBIES

Great advice and great link! Also, not only log everything, but WEIGH and MEASURE everything you eat.

Totally correct!

It's easy.

1. Be consistent. Log everything you put in your mouth.
2. Move more.
3. Eat less. Yeah.
4. Profit.

*ProTip: Lift Heavy (Starting Strength, StrongLifts, 5/3/1, whatever. Lift).

The TL:DR version that will blow your mind?
**>>>
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
**>>>

Now I only have to do this for two weeks then i'll be completely ripped and never have to workout again right? I mean, I'm down for my New Years resolution of a new year new me but I have other stuff to do and I need to (loose) 80lbs by the end of the month so I look damn hot twerking at this wedding I got coming up.

Great advice and great link! Also, not only log everything, but WEIGH and MEASURE everything you eat.

This.

SCALES. ALWAYS SCALES.

If you're using cups to measure solids then give yourself a slap.

Make sure to include bacon in your daily calorie goal!

And ice cream. Here's how:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/925464-fitting-it-in-giggity