Adopt-A-Noob: Jacwhite22
Jacwhite22
Posts: 7,010 Member
in Chit-Chat
Alright.....here it is....If you're a noob, it's your lucky day.
I think this is a pretty good idea so I'll join in as well.
(Stole some of the verbiage from the original...I do what I want)
Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.
I hereby volunteer my services to two (4) (that's right....I'm an overachiever) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.
The positives I bring:
1. I know my ****.....I might not always make the best choices but I at least know what they are.....and I can help you with that.
2. I've lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of weight and gain......well you get the idea. I'm an expert at the losing part......Still have some work to do on the maintaining part.
3. I don't sugarcoat anything....If you really want to make a difference and make changes I'm your guy. If you are sensitive and want someone to tell you what you want to hear and tell you it's ok even if it's not then I am probably not your guy.
4. I lift heavy ****. I can help you learn how to lift heavy **** without hurting yourself or making a fool of yourself (No it will not make you bulky). I can not help you perfect your Zumba/Tae Bo moves.
5. I will not tell you there is any food you have to eliminate to be successful.
Newbies wishing for help may PM (private message) me, explain their goals, including height/weight/past history...basically, go ahead and tell me your life's story. If you are chosen, you'll receive a friend request from me.
For the record.....I believe noobs who choose not to participate in this program should be allowed to be crucified for any of the following offenses:
- Referring to Dr OZ and labeling it as sound medical advice or science.
- Talking about bad foods (read: carbs)
- Talking about how their body is different and everyone else just doesn't understand.
- Trying to convince anyone that cauliflower pizza crust tastes just like regular pizza
Oh and......
b]M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person[/b]
Ice cream afficionado
"Winning" Certified Instructor
Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
I think this is a pretty good idea so I'll join in as well.
(Stole some of the verbiage from the original...I do what I want)
Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.
I hereby volunteer my services to two (4) (that's right....I'm an overachiever) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.
The positives I bring:
1. I know my ****.....I might not always make the best choices but I at least know what they are.....and I can help you with that.
2. I've lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of weight and gain......well you get the idea. I'm an expert at the losing part......Still have some work to do on the maintaining part.
3. I don't sugarcoat anything....If you really want to make a difference and make changes I'm your guy. If you are sensitive and want someone to tell you what you want to hear and tell you it's ok even if it's not then I am probably not your guy.
4. I lift heavy ****. I can help you learn how to lift heavy **** without hurting yourself or making a fool of yourself (No it will not make you bulky). I can not help you perfect your Zumba/Tae Bo moves.
5. I will not tell you there is any food you have to eliminate to be successful.
Newbies wishing for help may PM (private message) me, explain their goals, including height/weight/past history...basically, go ahead and tell me your life's story. If you are chosen, you'll receive a friend request from me.
For the record.....I believe noobs who choose not to participate in this program should be allowed to be crucified for any of the following offenses:
- Referring to Dr OZ and labeling it as sound medical advice or science.
- Talking about bad foods (read: carbs)
- Talking about how their body is different and everyone else just doesn't understand.
- Trying to convince anyone that cauliflower pizza crust tastes just like regular pizza
Oh and......
b]M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person[/b]
Ice cream afficionado
"Winning" Certified Instructor
Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
0
Replies
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they're lucky and you're awesome!!0
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Swoon...ish...meh...maybe...ok...your dreamy.0
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:stamp of approval:0
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LOVE :flowerforyou: 0 -
I can vouch for jacwhite. He was one of my first MFP hero's and i learned so much just from watching that gif at the end. I learned what to do with the weights, the chocolates, and my t shirts. My body and marriage have never been better!
I can't imagine the heights I'd have soared to if I had been brave enough to bother him in PM's.
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What about jazzercise?0
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4. I lift heavy ****. I can help you learn how to lift heavy **** without hurting yourself or making a fool of yourself (No it will not make you bulky). I can not help you perfect your Zumba/Tae Bo moves.
5. I will not tell you there is any food you have to eliminate to be successful.
But, what if I want to get bulky. Can you tell me that?
Can I keep eating Cat Litter Box Treats and be successful?0 -
Can I pretend I'm a noob?0
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Ithat gif.
............and back to watching jacks muscles...er i mean chocolate eating.0 -
I'll be a noob if you will tell me what to do...hell, I'll be anything you want me to be. I'm easy like that.
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Sounds so intreging that I just might pm you, we can talk dirty.0
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4. I lift heavy ****. I can help you learn how to lift heavy **** without hurting yourself or making a fool of yourself (No it will not make you bulky). I can not help you perfect your Zumba/Tae Bo moves.
5. I will not tell you there is any food you have to eliminate to be successful.
But, what if I want to get bulky. Can you tell me that?
Can I keep eating Cat Litter Box Treats and be successful?
Eat more to get bulky.....As for the Cat Treats....IIFYM......You'll probably even lose more after contracting worms/etc.0 -
worms would be another effective diet plan, surprised it's not out there already \m/4. I lift heavy ****. I can help you learn how to lift heavy **** without hurting yourself or making a fool of yourself (No it will not make you bulky). I can not help you perfect your Zumba/Tae Bo moves.
5. I will not tell you there is any food you have to eliminate to be successful.
But, what if I want to get bulky. Can you tell me that?
Can I keep eating Cat Litter Box Treats and be successful?
Eat more to get bulky.....As for the Cat Treats....IIFYM......You'll probably even lose more after contracting worms/etc.0 -
It is. Right up there with Leeches and chia seeds.0
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In for leeches and chia seeds! Woot Woot!
Wait...
Are you saying they are bad?
This is SOOOoooooo hard!
I need a mentor....
Someone who could teach me right from wrong and show me how to lift correctly so I can break my weight machine addiction.
If only there was someone willing to adopt me!0
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