sabotage

bamagary · November 2010

Hi everyone, this is my first post but I've been a member for about a month. Things are going pretty good but I do have my weaknesses, as I'm sure we all do. My weakness doesn't pertain to any "one" type of food, mine consists of gorging. My favorite "gorging" items are Sour Cream and Onion chips, those mini butterfingers, and pimento cheese and crackers. To avoid these, I simply don't buy them. Easy! Right?

No it's not easy because the one time I don't go to the grocery store with my wife, what does she buy? You guessed it, all of those things I listed. Now the first day, I stayed strong and didn't indulge. But sure enough, when I was by myself, I ate one entire sleeve of Ritz Crackers, half a LARGE tub of pimento cheese, 2 mini Butterfingers, and an entire bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips (minus one serving that my wife took to lunch with her). Oh yeah, I also ate two cookies, and didn't even bother baking them, just ate the raw dough. All of this was around 2300 calories, what a waste of calories, I could have had something really good instead of all that junk.

I think my wife felt bad for me, but she is right, I should be able to NOT eat all of those things, but I don't think she understands that it's like putting crack in front of a crack addict when he's only been off the stuff for a month. Now of course, this won't derail me, even though I skipped the gym this morning because I feel so terrible this morning after eating all that junk (not mentally down, just feel physically terrible).

Now I don't think she is trying to sabotage me out of meanness or anything like that, but she is a junk food junkie, and she is one of "those" people. You know the type, can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce (I hate those people). But I wish I could make her understand what I'm going through, and make her buy junk food that I don't really like, I mean, why buy MY favorite junk food items, kinda makes me mad when I think about it. Oh well, I'll stick with it, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks to all for listening, and any suggestions would be appreciated.

stella77 · November 2010

Yes, you are right.. If I have any of the junk food around, I will give in at some point and eat it.

I hope your wife will be able to understand if you sit down and explain calmly what losing weight means to you.
Most naturally thin people can't understand why you can't stay away from food. They can usually manage to have just a bit of it (hence one serving your wife took to work) - while the rest of us eat until it is no longer there!

If talking to her doesn't work, I'd just start throwing the stuff out. It is better than eating it - it is not as if you were wasting food. You can tell her you ate it if she starts objecting you wasting money.

Someoen brought a really nice box of chocholates the other day, and I wanted to give it away to someone but I knew I wouldn't survive that long...I had to throw it out immediately. I actually felt really good about myself.
If it is in my house - I will eat it - no question about that. This is at night usually!

Good luck!

bamagary · November 2010

Throwing it out is a wonderful idea, I have actually never thought of that, especially since I'm a penny pincher myself. Thanks, that's an idea I will certainly use, better than eating it and feeling terrible about it.

1fitmama · November 2010

Having that kind of food weakens my resolve so it is better to not have it around.

loveusa · November 2010

Sounds like, although she loves you, she is being insensitive to your feelings. I'm not sure what to do about her behavior, but you can do this yourself: make sure you have plenty of absolutely delicious foods you love that are low calorie that you can turn to when she starts pulling out the junk food that was causing you problems. Also, you may want to consider having the decadent food she has, but not eating anything else, so making a meal of it. You can desensitize yourself to it, and at this point, don't worry too much about nutrition (you will last a while), but just get comfortable with the foods that are a soft spot for you.

Katy213 · November 2010

I agree, I can't have things in the house as I WILL give in if I know they are there. My other half too doesn't seem to understand this, I'm sure its not deliberate but I do have to put my foot down lol

MommyGrace · November 2010

I understand your frustration with this. It is very difficult to change your life when the people in it do not have to make the same changes. My husband loves his snacks, but I can't have that stuff around. I try to buy stuff for him that either I can have in moderation - or I just don't like so I won't be tempted to eat it. BUT... when I do have things in the house that I LOVE to gorge on... I ask him to take them to work with him and keep them there if possible. OR.. I ask him to put them somewhere in the house that I can't see it or find. Sometimes that is difficult, but it does help me if I just don't see it.

Also, when she goes shopping either go with her and point out healthier choices and show her snacks that are better for both of you or make her a list of items that you would like to have in the house and items that you REALLY don't want her to buy anymore. If she loves you and supports your determination to change your life, she will be glad to make those small sacrifices for you!

ickybella · November 2010

I had this problem with my husband for a while. The worst was that when we were 3000 miles apart, and could only talk on webcam, he would sit there and eat chocolate in front of me, making exaggerated "mmm" noises. I wanted to...well...we're not here to talk about that, but anyway, when we were back together again, it was difficult because he too eats junk all the time. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I showed him MFP and what I was doing, then one day when he was home from work, he saw that I weighed everything I ate and I guess it started to sink in just how serious I was about this and how much it meant to me. Now, he still eats crap sometimes, but he buys things he knows I don't like, so he can eat them and I don't feel like I'm missing out. Failing that, you've got a couple of options. Firstly, find a way to appeal to her. If she loves you, she will understand that she can't just stock your house with all the things that will send you running to the cupboards. Because you know her better than any of us, you'll have to figure out how to do it, but I think if you can make her understand just how important this is to you (and maybe show her it's not so easy for everyone, since we can't all eat whatever we want) and hope she is sensitive enough to refrain from that kind of enabling behaviour. Secondly, you might have to learn to eat them in moderation. Believe me, I know what I'm telling you sounds impossible. I could sit down with an entire bag of white cheddar cheetos and a box of soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies and eat all that for a snack after a meal. And don't get me started on pimento cheese spread. Some evil genius made that stuff. I think I might have more will power because when I started dieting, I lived with my aunt and uncle and had little money to spend on food, and the house was just stocked with all things fattening. I tried and failed several times before I could just ignore the chocolate and chips and what not, and then after a while, I could just have a little bit and then stop. It wasn't easy, but we kind of have to reach a compromise with the people we love. We don't want what they're eating to ruin our diets and we don't want our diets to ruin their meals. Everyone deserves to indulge once in a while and non-dieters are no exception, so hopefully you can find some middle ground between the two of you. Good luck. I know it's extremely difficult.

lavenderjade · November 2010

I have 2 children who love crisps, cakes etc and these are in the cupboards but they are only allowed one thing like that a day and otherwise have fruit! crisps were my downfall, I adore them but I have been so good and not touched a packet in almost 3 months! its about changing the way you think about food and enjoying the new type of food you are now eating!

For example, I visualise fat globules floating in my blood and attaching themselves to my arteries! it really puts me off eating junk!

canbecanbe · November 2010

give it to charity every time it is in the house, I have a craap free house if you bring crap in my house i will tell you to go and put it in your car. we are tempted every where we go our home should be a save place, where every choice will always be a good one. i hate it when i go to other peoples places and they offer chocolate cake and say it is ''low fat'' who cares if it is low fat it is cake on principal i wont eat it because it put you in a habit of eating it

Zuznana · November 2010

Pretty much the same here.

I had to keep saying "I don't want cheddar in this house" until i was blue in my face....but after quite a few days of nagging like that and one shopping order on the internet (not because of the laziness of them delivering to us, but for the fact, that I don't brows the isles and don't buy crap). Just type in what you need and done), I'm free of cheddar cheese in this house and my husband finally didn't buy it in a shop either.......how long this is going to last I don't know. I said I don't want mayo here either and yet he bought that. But little step at a time it's good for him I suppose.

I keep trying to get him to sign up, but he just won't. :grumble:

lacroyx · November 2010

buy a seperate fridge. put all the naughty stuff in it. pad lock with key that you don't have access to. ^_^

janet6567 · November 2010

It's really hard to eat healthy when you don't have the support of your spouse, but you CAN do it. Try writing down what you are going to eat for the day when you get up. It takes some forthought, but is worth the effort. Then make yourself stick to it! If you do eat crackers and pimento cheese (and I make a mean pimento cheese which I love!), put a proper portion on of cheese and crackers on your plate and put the rest up BEFORE you start eating. Add in some fruit to your snacks too. I really don't deny myself any food. I just really control portions and watch out for "hidden calories."

sallyLunn · November 2010

You pimento cheese and ritz crackers. OMG, yum.

I find it helps to put stuff in the freezer. It won't work with crackers, but it does with chocolates. You have to take one out and let it thaw or break a tooth.

Also, I bet that if the freezer filled with containers of frozen pimento cheese, your wife would quit buying it.

championnfl · November 2010

Suggestion! Let her read this post! We know she loves you,she will start to help you! If she needs those foods have her put them where only she can find them...when goes shopping don't let you see them! Sounds easy????[but not always]

kdiamond · November 2010

I don't have problems with temptations for the most part, but my husband does. I support him - I don't buy chocolate ice cream, or cookies, or the other things that tempt him. I feel that is my wife duty to support him in all ways. Why tempt him? Your wife should be a little more understanding of your weaknesses if you ask me...

meggonkgonk · November 2010

I can't speak to your particular relationship with your wife, but I do the same thing to my boyfriend all the time. And not intentionally. Sometimes I'll hit the grocery store for him (he works and has class, so if I'm at his apt and notice he's low on stuff I'll try to stock him up). But I like to get stuff I know he'll like and unless I'm consciously thinking about what he's trying to eat. He lost about 20lbs this year and I am just starting to catch up.

My suggestion? Just make her a list of stuff not to buy for like 2 months. After that you should be ok, and if you arent just ask for another couple weeks at a time.

AnnaPixie · November 2010

Sorry, a bit of an alternative point of view coming up. No offence is meant, just being honest with you.

So, if you can sit there and binge on 2300 cals then I think you should be working on your emotional and psychological issues as to why?

The process of losing weight is a mental one as well as a physical one.

It certainly helps me to consider WHY I want to eat, as well as not having too many temptations in the house.

But to get to the day when we alter our behaviour is when we will lose weight and keep it off.

I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. In fact, I have a bar of chocolate in my drawer that I'm keeping in case of emergency! :bigsmile: I know it's there, but I dont have to eat it...........

All the best :flowerforyou:

sabotage

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