feeling self-conscious
mammaminor
Posts: 31
Hi! I live in a small house with my husband and our baby. Over holiday breaks, my brother in law stays with us when he comes home to visit from college. The only place in my home there is enough room for me to exercise is our living room, which obviously gets a lot of traffic. I'm just starting out and haven't really made any visible progress so far: I jiggle, I sweat, and I'm sure I'm not doing every exercise 100% correctly 100% of the time. My BIL works out a lot on his own, he's an athlete, so me doing my little dinky 25 crunches with him walking through my space makes me feel really self conscious, as does my husband commenting on ways I can improve or even just asking me questions. If anyone notices what I'm doing, I start feeling dumb and I want to quit. I don't have the money for a gym membership and I live in NE Ohio so it's not like I can go outside and do it, plus once my husband goes back to school I'll have to work out during my son's naptime and he'll need me there in case he wakes up.
Did anyone else have this issue at first? How did you get over it?
Did anyone else have this issue at first? How did you get over it?
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Replies
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I'm in good shape and I still feel weird working out at home in front of other people to a DVD, there's just something about bouncing around while other people are not that makes me feel weird- I don't have a problem with my boyfriend's basement weight gym though.
I would highly suggest trying to find the money for a cheap gym membership- Planet Fitness and other similar gyms are only $10 a month (That's less than 3 lattes!) and you can go there and be around other people doing the same thing with the same issues rather than your BIL who's probably just trying to watch TV.0 -
We do have a planet fitness around here which I would love to do, but money's not the only issue. I'm home with the baby about 30 hours a week, work about 25 hours a week, and the 30 hours I spend with the baby is when my husband goes to school and there's nobody else to watch him. I don't even have a car to get there if someone COULD watch him because hubby has the car at school. And the planet fitness here closes at 9 pm I believe? And two nights my husband won't get home from school til 8:30 and I'll be working until he goes to school at 4. And I always work weekends as well.
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My wife is in great shape, and hates overnight house guests partly because they interfere with her routines.
All I can suggest is that you keep working out, but buy sweats to cover what you want to.0 -
I totally understand. My brother in law is 17 years old and very athletic. He stays with us over the weekends and aside from the garage for lifting, everything else is concentrated in the living room. I played dancing games while he was over and at 6 weeks post partum at 170 lbs, I had very embarrassing jiggle. I think your BIL would be proud of you for getting into fitness. Everyone has to start somewhere. I felt ashamed since my brother in law weight lifts (my bench and weights are technically his but he couldn't fit them where he lives)and I started out with just the bar with no weights. It takes time and patience, determination. I know it's hard to picture but months down the road if you stay disciplined you WILL see improvements and you will feel it! You can do it :flowerforyou:0
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I won’t work out in front of anyone either. I know I look like an idiot doing Zumba in my living room but I don’t want anyone watching me look like an idiot
For me, I have to schedule my work outs for when just my daughter and I are home, because I am totally okay with her laughing at me, just not anyone else!0 -
I know exactly how you feel and I've been exercising for years!
The way I see it, you have three solutions if you are serious about getting your exercise in:
1) Get up before everyone else to exercise undisturbed.
2) Speak openly with those close to you about why you want to exercise/lose weight etc. and tell them that you feel self conscious when they make remarks or watch you exercise. If they care for you, they will understand and avoid the living room while you work out.
3) If, for example your BIL comes to stay and you don't want to discuss the issue then why not swap your usual living room workout for a walk in the park? You can even take the little one with you then!
Hope this helps!
Justine0 -
Would it be possible to get a room divider? Like one of those inexpensive accordian types.
Tell them that's your time to yourself and you would like some privacy, that it's nothing personal. Sometimes when I've done yoga at home my husband will make "hey looking hot" remarks of the construction site variety (not in a bad way, he's my husband) and I had to send him upstairs. :bigsmile:
And on the flip side I think he gets a little self-conscious when I walk in and he's lifting weights because he always stops when I walk through. So I leave him alone.0 -
Okay I feel better knowing that it's not just me because I totally thought it was :P
I guess I'll probably just do my workouts at night or early when he's holed up in his room until he goes back to school and otherwise just hope the baby naps when my husband is at school :P he's just about to turn one so he's not exactly ready to be left to his own devices!0 -
It's hard not having someplace to disappear to for working out. Until the snow melts, is there any way you can time-shift your workouts? I know sleep is at a premium for any mom when a baby is involved. But even as a night owl I find that a morning workout gasses my car for the whole day.
Plus, no matter what you point in your path (I am only a few pounds ahead of you) it would be pretty tough to "dis" someone working out at oh-dark-thirty when the commenter is doing absolutely zilch.
My wife weighs 141 pounds - proportional height-weight. But she was 200lbs when our son was born. She absolutely busted it (far better that I was) and got back to her desired weight. I totally respect her for that.
Good luck!
-David
p.s. One of my wife's secret weapons was breastfeeding. Each session was relaxing/bonding, released all the good hormones and spent 500 calories/day. (Wish I could do that!)0 -
3) If, for example your BIL comes to stay and you don't want to discuss the issue then why not swap your usual living room workout for a walk in the park? You can even take the little one with you then!
Once summer comes, baby and I will be taking walks ALL the time! For right now there's a good 8 inches of snow on the ground and the high for Tuesday is -11, so unfortunately the park is not an option lol!0 -
I can feel ya here! I do agree with another poster to have a candid talk with your hubby and brother in law. Stress to them that you are not only doing this for you, you are doing it for them and the baby and it takes a lot of commitment and support to reach those goals. I tried to lost weight several years ago and my husband would make references to what I was doing (from my eating to my exercising). He wasn't mean about it, more joking around on his part, but it was hurtful all the same. I gave up and stopped because I didn't want to hear it anymore. Unfortunately that did nothing but hurt myself as I ballooned up in weight. When I started this journey in August of last year, I sat him down and told him how I felt. He felt horrible and apologized profusely. He has not said another hurtful thing and is extremely supportive and because of that and being able to stay on track, I have achieved almost -60 lbs. to date.
Can you incorporate your little one in your routines? I have a niece and 2 year old great nephew living with us at present. I started using him during my workouts and he loves it. All I have to say now is "Rayden I need to do my exercises" and he comes running. I use him like weights (since I don't have any weights he's the next best thing! lol). Lay on the floor and lift him with my arms, laying him across my feet and lifting him up, etc. It's an incredible bonding time and fun for the kiddo. Now he will lay on the floor with me and do what I am doing. Just a thought
Good Luck and God Bless!!!!! 0 -
I always feel self conscious when I work out! I've really had to force myself to tune out other people entirely. I find listening to headphones - either your favorite music or a podcast that you find really interesting - helps with that a lot. Also, try and focus on the positives. My cousin's husband has a very dry sense of humor and thinks he's being funny when he negates those achievements that I am most proud of, but I don't let his negative attitude get me down. When I focus on those things that make me proud, I have an easier time doing what I have to do, regardless of what I look like.
Also, if your brother in law is an athlete, you may want to consider him a good resource. I know it can be tough to get over the embarrassment, but to echo another poster in this thread, I bet he would be really proud of you for doing something good for yourself. After all, he's family!0 -
I can't stand people watching my workout if they aren't working out too. My family knows if the living room is currently a gym - don't go in unless you want to join in. 0
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Totally understand (except about the snow it's boiling hot here)
I wait till my hubby leaves to do things that I'm self conscious about like push ups and sit ups. I'm ok using my exercise bike when he's home though. It lives in the living room.0 -
Tough situation and can understand you're feeling uncomfortable but remember your BIL will be returning to school and your routine will return to normal. I would ask him questions about fitness and exercise so he will know where you're coming from and perhaps become a helpful coach so to speak. :flowerforyou:0
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If you can't do the full exercise routine you would normally do in your living room when people are staying, could you do a modified version in another room? I can't always access the lounge for workout dvds and jumping a lot upstairs isn't really an option, so I use different workouts depending on the space available to me. You can still get your heartrate up but with exercises that require less space. What do you do at the moment? Do you use a dvd or just free style it like an exercise maverick?0
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Use your bedroom !!0
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Well slowly work into it i suppose. Everyone is insecure and i doubt any of them look down on you for it! You are trying to work on yourself to be healthier and better. You just have to push the confidence or at least the "i don't care if people look" right now.
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If you can't do the full exercise routine you would normally do in your living room when people are staying, could you do a modified version in another room? I can't always access the lounge for workout dvds and jumping a lot upstairs isn't really an option, so I use different workouts depending on the space available to me. You can still get your heartrate up but with exercises that require less space. What do you do at the moment? Do you use a dvd or just free style it like an exercise maverick?
Right now I do jumping jacks, leg ups, bicep curls, squats and stretches before and after. I use chunky soup cans as weights right now, i can't find my baby weights :[ And LO is 25 pounds so maybe one day i'll work my way up! :P
My bedroom offers VERY little space between the dressers, bed, hope chest, and two night stands 0
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