Advice to my former fat self … what's yours?

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I wish I could go back in time for a number of reasons. One of which is to give myself advice at various stages of weight loss/gain. Here's what I would tell myself.

At 340 lbs: So this is you. You try to be invisible, which is ironic considering how large you have let yourself become. This is do-or-die time. You don't think you are in control, but you are. You've let enough of life pass you by. You spend too much time worrying about fitting in a plane seat, a movie seat, ANY seat. You hide from the world. This is no way to live. You're young. You can turn this around now.

At 215 lbs: You think you've made progress, and you have. Good job. But this isn't the real you, yet. You're in denial if you think you're a normal size right now. You think you're eating healthfully, and you are. But just too much of it. Did you count how many slices of turkey went on that sandwich? Did you count how much ketchup you put on those eggs? Don't kid yourself. You're not in celebratory mode yet. Oh, and the size 18 pants aren't normal-sized. You're still firmly in pus-size territory. Keep going.

At 265 lbs: Okay, you had some kids. This is not baby weight anymore. This is obesity, and you're using it like a cloak. Stop wishfully thinking of the days of being 215 lbs, and start getting back there. Now.

At 180 lbs: Good deal -- under 200 for this first time in forever. Amazing. Wonderful! Size 12 feels pretty darn good, even if they inflate the clothing sizes now to make you buy stuff. You say you're happy here? Content even? If only you knew what awaits you ...

At 140 lbs.: My God. Did you ever think you'd see this number? Remember this. Remember how good it feels to live life rather than thinking about food, planning your next binge, or crying because you have nothing to wear. That finish line you crossed at your first 5k? Remember how you literally collapsed with joy because you finished it -- and in pretty good time, too? Did you ever, ever think you'd run a race? Remember this happy, exhausted joy. All that hard work. So worth it. And so are the clothes you can now by because you LIKE them versus just finding something tent-like that fits. All the confidence you have now, the photos you're not afraid of being in, the life you're living and enjoying ... please stay here. It feels good here. It finally feels good.

At 150 lbs: Okay, this is still a happy weight. Please don't let it creep up. You know what to do if it does. Nip it in the bud. please nip it in the bud. Don't rationalize it away.

At 165 lbs: Remember 150 on the scale? That was panic time. Now you're looking at 165. I can feel you not caring anymore. I see that some old habits have crept in. You can still make this happen. Don't be one of the 90% of people who fail at this. You figured it out and stayed there for 4 years. Don't ruin this. Just get back on track.

At 172 lbs: Okay, this is serious now. It's getting harder to exercise like you used to, and that sucks. You loved exercising. Now it's a chore. Remember those endorphins from running 6 miles? You loved it. You walked taller. You ran harder. You smiled. Pushing yourself physically was a reward, not a burden. You keep telling yourself you're nowhere near your highest weight, so you're still doing okay. Perspective is a nasty b*tch. Be honest with yourself. You're not doing okay. You had the chance to nip it in the bud. You didn't. You still have that chance. Take it. Take it now.

At 180 lbs: Hello MFP. Please help me. I'm tired of talking to shades of my former fat self. I want to stop talking and start doing. Here I am.

Replies

  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Nice thread.
    I would actually rather give my 20 year old SLIM self some advice: learn to eat real food. Learn what fuels your body and keeps your blood sugars stable. :smile:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    I'd tell my 16-18 year old self to lay off the Burger King.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Nice thread.
    I would actually rather give my 20 year old SLIM self some advice: learn to eat real food. Learn what fuels your body and keeps your blood sugars stable. :smile:

    That's how I feel too.

    The other thing would be to keep exercising and ignore overdoing on the sweets.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    Made me cry ...:sad:

    The only thing I can say is that it may help me stay on target and I hope it inspres you to get your s**t back together because I want to get to 150 and come hell or high water I will and I will remember this story every step of the way ...

    I have no advice to my former self yet because I have not " made it " yet I am still struggling here but just the other day a stray thought popped into my head taht I could be happy here at 198 ...what ? My goal is not 198 I said to myself IT'S 150 AND i HAVE TO GET THERE I HAVE TO ! Funny how our minds work .....
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
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    Counting calories and weighing yourself regularly is not the same as yo-yo dieting. Don't be scared. Be smart. You will never regret it and seeing your own face in the mirror again will be a feeling you simply won't be able to forget. You also know, deep down, that you enjoy being physically capable, being energetic, and being fast/better/stronger than you were last time. Find that feeling again.

    Also - just because you weigh more than you want to doesn't mean you have to look frumpy.
  • focuseddiva
    focuseddiva Posts: 174 Member
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    Aww... didn't mean to make you cry, but this is SUCH an emotional journey, isn't it? I realized I do so much self-talking. If I spy my kids' leftover dinner, I self-talk. Sometimes it's, "Eh, you can finish what's on their plate. Your burned 700 calories exercising." Other times it's, "Just pick up that plate and throw it out NOW before you shove it in your piehole!"

    And the self-talking happened at every weight stage I was at. When I was at my goal weight, I realized that I spent a lot of time wishing I could talk to my former fat self and wake her up. Shake her. Tell her how much better her life, health, confidence could be. I do NOT want to be giving myself this same imaginary talk at 200 lbs. I need to stop this now. It felt so great to treat my body correctly. I really ,really want to get back there, and for me, it's now going to have to happen one meal at a time until I'm really doing it again.
  • stunningalmond
    stunningalmond Posts: 275 Member
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    I'm here with you. I got down to 137... wow... 137. And went back up to 160. I'm down to 154 now. We got this.
  • focuseddiva
    focuseddiva Posts: 174 Member
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    Stunningalmond: You were smart to halt the upward movement and start getting it back down.

    And oh yeah -- 137. I think I literally, for 5 minutes, weighed 136. I'm 5'8" -- that was super think for me, especiallly since I was once 340. I had a lot of extra skin which alone probably weighed 10 pounds. So I was really like 126. Not realistic for me. Right now, I'm gunning for 154!!
  • Vegan_85
    Vegan_85 Posts: 40 Member
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    "That finish line you crossed at your first 5k? Remember how you literally collapsed with joy because you finished it -- and in pretty good time, too? Did you ever, ever think you'd run a race? Remember this happy, exhausted joy. All that hard work. So worth it."

    "It's getting harder to exercise like you used to, and that sucks. You loved exercising. Now it's a chore. Remember those endorphins from running 6 miles? You loved it. You walked taller. You ran harder. You smiled. Pushing yourself physically was a reward, not a burden."

    - I've never been very overweight (I only had 35lb to lose) but found this quite inspiring. Despite being 'slim', I do no exercise and get out of breath running for more than a few minutes. I lost the weight by restricting calories; sometimes to a very unhealthy degree. This time, I'd rather be fitter and eat well.
  • caramon29
    caramon29 Posts: 6 Member
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    wow that's a great story! As I am still fat I don't have any advise to myself.

    But I guess it's a bit like stopping to smoke.

    At times I had nightmares that I was drunk and accidentially smoked cigarettes - oh the horror on the next day.

    I am quite curios how far I can get in this journey. I did not do anything about my weight as I was simply too scared to fail - imagine that!

    Now I haven't eaten any chocolates since new years day - never thought this was possible at all? Well anyway, thanks for this insight!
  • elsinora
    elsinora Posts: 398 Member
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    This breaks my heart as it sounds exactly my inner thoughts. I would say to yourself at 180lbs that it is NEVER to late to start again. You did it once (in my case twice) and so you can do it again.

    Personally, I would've told my former obese self to mentally prepare for a never ending journey and not think that once the goal is hit that I can truthfully eat or do what I want again otherwise I will balloon. I'd tell myself that that is fine, I'd tell myself to not hate myself so much and I would tell myself that the success you make of your life is not solely measured on scales. I would also tell myself to prepare myself for saboteurs that may not physically stuff food into your mouth but emotionally manipulate and take advantage of you to keep you in a prison of body self loathing.

    Good luck, you can do it x
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    If I could go back to September, I'd tell my "fat" self that by Christmas I'd be at my high school weight, wouldn't gain throughout the holidays, and would not feel as though I'd been through an ordeal. But my September self didn't have any anxiety about the process anyway, so she probably would just say "yeah, no kidding, how about some stock tips or something useful, you came back in time to tell me that? Loser." My September self tended to be rather saucy in those days.
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    Great post. Been there, done that.

    Almost where I think I want to be (~10 lbs to go) and advice for self this time is:

    1. Don't make the same mistakes you've made in the past. One cookie etc WILL de rail you despite what your well meaning friends will tell you.
    2. Weigh & write what you bite. Your memory is not as good as you think it is.
    3. Do not & I repeat, do not fill up the saggy skin, it may never disappear at your age, but wear it proud to show what you've accomplished.
    4. Keep your mindset where it needs to be, eat mindfully.
    5. Remember how good you looked & more so how you felt at (insert goal wt here) pounds, you do NOT want to yo yo back up and then some ..AGAIN.
    6. You do NOT want to go back on meds (I was on meds for DM, 2 for HTN, 2 for Cholesterol)
    7. For a reminder of your former self, pull out your driver's license...it that won't keep me on the straight & narrow, nothing will.
    A pic IS worth a thousand words.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Can't undo the past but now you have the power and the tools to create your future self. Maybe writing a letter to the YOU in 5 years will help you overcome the past and get excited about the future.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    "Stop eating like you're a 6'3', 250 pounds linebacker,self"
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Success is a habit.