how do you motivate yourself to stick with it

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  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
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    (Disclaimer: just had lots of coffee!!)

    Honestly, the thing that has helped me most with motivation--in all areas of my life--is to stop worrying about trying to be motivated.

    Because really, there are going to be plenty of times that you are NOT motivated at all. Learning to not feel guilty about that and just trudge forward is what has been really helpful to me.

    Recently, a therapist pointed out that pretty no matter what I'm doing or how successful I am, I'm always going to be a naturally kind of negative person who is highly self-critical. So when I feel unmotivated/discouraged/negative about a task or situation, I have two choices:

    1) Sit around feeling bad and discouraged while I'm NOT working on the task or avoiding the situation
    2) Feel bad and discouraged while I AM working on the task or confronting the situation

    If I'm going to have negative feelings no matter what, I might as well be feeling them in reference to something I know is beneficial than something that is not beneficial. I just have to be OK with telling myself, "I'm probably going to feel bad about this, but that its OK--I'll survive."

    I think this really applies to weight loss. You're either going to feel unmotivated and guilty if you DON'T take steps to change your lifestyle, or you're going to feel unmotivated and discouraged as you DO take steps to change your lifestyle. You might as well chose the latter, right?

    The thing about motivation is that it works the opposite of the way we think it does. We think that we have to sit around waiting for magical "motivation" to strike, and then we'll accomplish things. In fact, it is the other way around--the more action we take, the more motivation builds, and the more likely we are to continue. Start small, don't overwhelm yourself, and I bet you'll start to feel more positive over time about your journey.
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
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    I've been here for a year and a half. This is another part of my life, like brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, just something I know I need to do.

    As you have successes, you will be more tempted to keep going (that is, if you are really ready for this. Most think they are but fall off track too easily. They just aren't ready!)
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
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    I feel your pain! When I first joined I was 186, jumped up to 192 and Im the same height as you. At first wasnt seeing any changes that I started to. From October to now I lost over 10 lbs, just never recorded my highest weight so thats why it says only a 6 lb lost on my ticker, but I keep on fluctuating past week or so. I know I havent been so active with both kids around {I work out while my oldest is in school} and considering its been brutally cold we cant get outside so much, and dont want to do anything but sit under a blanket and keep warm. But you know what todays a new week time to get up to get back to moving as my oldest is back in school and get back to my old routine...My biggest motivation is my girls and showing them that I can eat healthy and show them healthy eating habits and that instead of me sitting on the side doing nothing that I will get up and play with them once the warmer weather comes of course.....Btw from Oct til now I lost 4-5 inches off my waist, thats a big motivator as well
  • charleyreedto175
    charleyreedto175 Posts: 60 Member
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    Everything is about goals. Big goals and little ones. I think what helps is the fact that I set daily goals, weekly goals and monthly goals. If you enjoy making your goal then you have your need in hand. For me my small goals are sometimes silly and would mean nothing to anyone else. Buy an article of clothing one size smaller and try it on in a month. Make a great food and freeze it what every you want. Just make it work for you.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    When I started I just told myself to keep going, no matter what. I had always looked for the quick fix shortcut and it never got me anywhere, so I told myself to stick with it even when I didn't see overnight results. Just keep going; what's the worst that could happen?

    I also stopped starving myself. Once I discovered that I could eat what I like and learned moderation I was a much happier person. It was no longer a chore.

    Then I discovered weight lifting. my body started changing in ways I could never have imagined. I was getting stronger and I looked forward to every workout. And a year later, I've lost almost 20 pounds, which doesn't seem like a lot, but my body composition is completely different.
  • SuperJo1972
    SuperJo1972 Posts: 113 Member
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    It isn't easy and sometimes you will not see the results, but as long as you know that you are improving your health and that in time results will come too, it makes it easier to stick with.

    When you reach your goal weight you will still have to watch your portions and exercise to be able to maintain and stay healthy and fit. It's early days, try to fit in easy wins like a daily q/w hour walk with the pram that soon add up. You can do it, believe in yourself. :o)
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    Iv read sucess posts and am amazed, but when I think its going to take 1 year? 4 months? However long, I think to myself, nope, not possible, I cant do this, I cant think that ill ever be slim, its only week one, and I have negative feelings. Im 5 foot 3 and 194 pounds, so huge for my height, its gotta change, byt the lowest iv ever been is 170lb which is still big, I dont feel its possible, especially as I have now become a sahm and activity has dropped loads since I left work,
    help please, how do you stay focused knowing you have such a long road ahead xxx

    I think we all still have the feeling like we can't do it, at least I do. Almost everyday I think to myself "there's no way I will ever be at a "normal" BMI. I think my scale has just been lieing to be over that last few months. I haven't actually lost anything." But you have to put aside those feelings and take it one day at a time. Take before pictures now! I didn't and I wish I did. Compairing pictures will help motivate you. Pay attention to how your clothes fit. When they start getting looser, you are making progress! It's hard but make little goals and always take it one day at a time.
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
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    I think its important to change your perspective. Its not going to take a year, its not going to take four months. Its going to be a lifetime commitment to being healthy. Also, there is a positive and a negative to every situation. I am a mostly stay at home mom, I work about once a week outside the home, for 4-6 hours... but other than that I am stay at home. I homeschool my kids, which keeps my time pretty full, plus I am studying math on my own so that I can help my kids when they need, and in preparation for going back to college... all of that keeps me busy, but not physically active. Anyway, as a stay at home mom I can tell you that there is some advantage... it takes discipline, but you can exercise every day with the commitment you used to get up and go to work with. If your children are very small it may involve doing 10 minute bursts of activity while they are occupied, or even plopping them in a playpen and ignoring their fussing for 1/2 hour while you take care of you for a bit. Other options include putting them in a stroller and walking, nice long walks...

    You can lift weights or do an exercise video while they sleep.

    If they are older than you can simply teach them that mom needs this 1/2 hour or hour of exercise to be healthy, and they can color, or watch an educational program in another room, or play with toys, but are not allowed to interrupt you or get in the way while you are exercising.

    Back to lifetime commitment thing, since being healthy is a lifetime commitment, rather than feeling rushed to accomplish a goal weight by a certain date, instead make some goals that are not related directly to the number on the scale. For example, "This month I'll start getting 1/2 hour of some kind of exercise... any kind, every day, and I'll keep my net calories in healthy parameters." Don't set your calories so low you feel you are starving, find out what your TDEE is and subtract 20% from that.

    I have found for myself my bodymedia device also helps with my motivation. I have a certain plan, schedule for workouts, and in the past if I missed a workout, or just couldn't bring myself to do the one I was "supposed" to do that day I would get discouraged. However since I have the armband, while I still have my schedule, my fall back goal is simply to register a certain amount of activity on the band, so if I'm supposed to a weight lifting routine and I just can't get myself going, I still go for a walk. At the end of the day I can look and see successes on at least some of my goals because I reached that basic activity goal.

    I still try to stick to my routine as much as I can, but I am more flexible and view the minimum activity goal as an absolute, a non-negotiable... I just do it.
  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
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    When I start to feel like that, I think of this quote: "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."
  • Striving4Fit_MrsOrtiz
    Striving4Fit_MrsOrtiz Posts: 410 Member
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    Iv read sucess posts and am amazed, but when I think its going to take 1 year? 4 months? However long, I think to myself, nope, not possible, I cant do this, I cant think that ill ever be slim, its only week one, and I have negative feelings. Im 5 foot 3 and 194 pounds, so huge for my height, its gotta change, byt the lowest iv ever been is 170lb which is still big, I dont feel its possible, especially as I have now become a sahm and activity has dropped loads since I left work,
    help please, how do you stay focused knowing you have such a long road ahead xxx

    I think we all still have the feeling like we can't do it, at least I do. Almost everyday I think to myself "there's no way I will ever be at a "normal" BMI. I think my scale has just been lieing to be over that last few months. I haven't actually lost anything." But you have to put aside those feelings and take it one day at a time. Take before pictures now! I didn't and I wish I did. Compairing pictures will help motivate you. Pay attention to how your clothes fit. When they start getting looser, you are making progress! It's hard but make little goals and always take it one day at a time.

    Last time I lost nearly 30 pounds I really did think my scale was lying to me or broken!!! I still to this day think I need to buy a new scale!
  • kill3rtofu
    kill3rtofu Posts: 169 Member
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    ask yourself how much do you wanna improve? and go from there
  • thatgirlkellib
    thatgirlkellib Posts: 150 Member
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    Looks like we are in the same boat homie, I started at 211 and I am finally down to 185 as of this morning...feeling confident however it has taken since October, we are in a society where we want the fast results with the least amount of effort and the least amount of time "instant gratification" I had to change the way I think....I need my health to prolong my life for myself and my family. no matter how long it takes DONT GIVE UP! instead go for a walk when you feel that way : ) I also watch youtube videos for inspiration, check out misspinkmeltsaway she blew my mind and shes so inspirational
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
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    I walked to work, and I worked in a busy shop, running around, up and down stairs. Lo is 11 months old but its no where near as active as work was. I am just impatient and cant imagine it working, I need to just focs on one week at a time I think, but im finding ithard already. Just need a kick. Xxx

    Use your child as your motivation. Make it your mission to show her that healthy eating and regular exercise is the norm.
    My children don't bat an eyelid anymore, when they see me exercising in the kitchen (youtube, fitnesblender.com, exercise dvds...) and for them a bowl of fresh berries is the ultimate treat. Don't get me wrong, they like their chocolate and pyjama days as much as anyone else does, but the basis is regular exercise and healthy eating.
  • Laura3BB
    Laura3BB Posts: 250 Member
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    As others have said, after the first few weeks it just becomes a habit, so it's easier. Just stick with it one week at a time!
  • FixIngMe14
    FixIngMe14 Posts: 19
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    2 words:

    Lifestyle change.

    If you want it... you'll go after it. And you'll stay after it... period. Of course it is gonna take time, and of course you're gonna have days you want to give up. In fact, you just MAY give up, but its the getting back in the game that's important. Fad diets do NOT work long term.

    As far as motivation... I lost 86 lbs about 3 years ago now... and I motivated myself by putting sticky notes all over the place. The fridge, the mirror in the bathroom, my bedroom mirror... you get the point. Where ever I was the most, was where I seen these notes. AND... I was always watching inspirational videos uploaded on Youtube.

    Sweetheart, you can do it. We all can do it... it is how BAD do you want it? No one can get it for you... only YOU can push forth and grab it. It is hard work... but it will be worth it.

    I wish you much luck on this journey. :flowerforyou:
  • bettwalker
    bettwalker Posts: 22 Member
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    It has become a challenge to me and I love a challenge. I log into My Fitness Pal every morning and start my food log. I have a calorie limit and it's fun planning to stay within it. I also weigh each morning and record. My aim is to see it go down. I record on a calendar which has days and then I can look back to see where I've come from. Also I plan to reward myself along the way. I love to shop for clothes, skincare, costume jewelry, books and it makes me feel good to have earned them. (in my book) :happy:
  • candacet36
    candacet36 Posts: 353 Member
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    Set small, short term goals and take it one day at a time. Building on one good day to the next and sooner than you know you will be at your first goal.

    You can do this but it is also not a temporary change if you want your results to last. Make changes that you know you can continue and don't deprive yourself. For example, I love coffee, I have coffee everyday but I have changed what I put in it and have learned to enjoy it differently.

    You got this! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!
  • FixIngMe14
    FixIngMe14 Posts: 19
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    Looks like we are in the same boat homie, I started at 211 and I am finally down to 185 as of this morning...feeling confident however it has taken since October, we are in a society where we want the fast results with the least amount of effort and the least amount of time "instant gratification" I had to change the way I think....I need my health to prolong my life for myself and my family. no matter how long it takes DONT GIVE UP! instead go for a walk when you feel that way : ) I also watch youtube videos for inspiration, check out misspinkmeltsaway she blew my mind and shes so inspirational

    Totally this! ^^^
  • sweetdixie92
    sweetdixie92 Posts: 655 Member
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    The first few weeks are the toughest. If you can get through them, you'll find yourself not craving junk food like you did, and looking forward to exercising. I went from being an ice cream junkie to eating it only on special occasions, so it's possible lol! Exercising is a huge key, because the better shape you get in, the better you'll feel about yourself and want to push yourself. I've found that on the days I do the hardest workouts/runs, I feel more motivated to eat healthy and not ruin my day with junk food.

    Yeah, losing weight takes awhile unfortunately. But think about it, if you throw in the towel a week after starting, what will you think a month from now? Two months? In that time, you could have lost some weight! Try to put it in that perspective, cause I've screwed myself up too with the waiting being "too long." It's a daily thing - focus on your singular successes. Don't take all that weight on in one day, concentrate on what you can do right NOW. If you can lose up to 5 pounds in one week, let that be your goal! Setting smaller goals within reach, make you WANT to keep going! Don't think about your end weight, think about the journey. You'll be feeling better and looking better every day. We tend to be our harshest judges, so other people will be more likely to notice that positive change than you might.

    You can do this!
  • FixIngMe14
    FixIngMe14 Posts: 19
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    I'm sorry... let me add that I also only look at losing 10 lbs at a time. When I see the over-all amount I need to lose, I get jittery and not want to do it at all. When you set smaller goals, it seems to work well for some of us.

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