Getting back to loving me

Hello.. so alittle about myself. i am an american living in the netherlands. My lowest weight was back in 2000 i was 18 and weighed 175 lbs.. but unhealthy. I have struggled from weight problems my whole life. My mother died at 26 from a heart attack from being obese. And thats always been a nagging thought in my mind. I have yoyo'd almost my whole life. I now weigh 245. I have stayed between 230 to 245 for the last 7 years. I have 2 kids (4 &2) I stay home with my youngest during the day and work at night (7pm-0200). I have wanted to get back in shape to be comfortable with myself. I use to love to go to the gym.. but that is no longer a possiblility for me. My husband works during the day and there are NO gyms open at night. So i am sticking to doing some things during the day when my daughter sleeps. At work i am pretty active and on my feet all night. I bike back and forth for work. So i am trying to get all the information i can, and get back to loving myself and being comfortable with myself. I will never be a skinny girl.. was once and it didnt look good on me. I am just ready to look in the mirror and thing... looking good.