My boyfriend's parents don't want him dating?

Options
kassiebby1124
kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
in Chit-Chat
**Yes, I have a boyfriend. No it isn't the former ones (my ex or best friend). The guy I'm with goes to my school we have been dating for 3 weeks now**

My boyfriend and I are both freshman in college. We met at the beginning of the semester are starting dating at the end of it. Now, I was given the ability to date when I was 15. However, my boyfriend was not granted that luxury.

He is the youngest and has 2 other siblings, both of which had lifestyles that did not go as their mother planned. His mom essentially sees him as the "last chance" to make something out of his life. She believes that him being in a relationship AT ALL through college with mess everything up in his future. She even called my parents to see how they felt about us dating. My parents said as long as we take it slow and put school first, they are fine with it. His mom is not like that.

She is so adamantly against us dating, she took his laptop and cell phone so he can't get in contact with me. Luckily, he has an MP3 player with WiFi capabilities so we can still talk. She also said she will stop giving him money in the bank so he can do things. He said he's just gonna have to get a job. He told her that he is going to date me regardless and when we get to school (which will be this weekend), it will be easier, but I guess I just want her to accept that he wants to be with me. And I want her to like me. What do I do?
«13456

Replies

  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Options
    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.
    You don't think time will make it better?
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    Options
    I'm with Feniks on this one!


    Aren't you guys in college? You're adults!
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
    Options
    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    This times infinity.

    She's like the moms in that Old Spice commercial. If you don't know, look it up.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    His mom is seemingly insane. That being said, your relationship is probably doomed b/c of her... Her son seemingly still lets her control him, which... is the real problem here. If he's still living at home, letting her do his laundry, pay his bills, etc... you two are screwed. Him being 18 doesn't matter if he's still acting a child...
  • grentea
    grentea Posts: 96 Member
    Options
    I don't know. He is an adult, but he is still dependent financially on his mom. This sounds like more headache than I would want at that age. College is full of opportunities to meet guys. I would say this probably won't end well. He hasn't cut the cord from his mom, so this relationship will be full of her getting over involved and crossing the line. You could still be friends, but I would date other people.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Options
    I think you should focus on yourself for a while. This won't end well.
  • NatalieG525
    NatalieG525 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    If you think he's worth it, stay. But as someone with a mother-in-law from hell (and no longer in contact thankfully!), he really has to be worth it!!
  • gman1232
    gman1232 Posts: 37
    Options
    You don't think time will make it better?

    Nope. You can't change people. Is he ok with it?
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Options
    Weren't you on here a couple weeks ago complaining that you could not decide between two men? Boy do you bounce back quickly!
  • JefferyArnold
    JefferyArnold Posts: 1,479 Member
    Options
    As a word of advice... Run away from this toxicity.

    You will find someone else out there that is allowed to be with you and you will love it. I had a girlfriend in highschool that wasn't allowed to go out or do anything... She became an EX really quick because life is entirely too short to life by someone else's rules without your input.

    College is full of readily available men and women... Embrace it all and enjoy what could be some of the best years of your life. Go outside of your comfort zone and see where the world brings you...


    And just because I can't help saying it... Make sure you keep your grades up! :)
  • patrickblo13
    patrickblo13 Posts: 831 Member
    Options
    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    This times infinity.

    She's like the moms in that Old Spice commercial. If you don't know, look it up.

    What a weird commercial!! I just saw it the other day
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Options
    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    THIS.

    you're in for a ROUGH life if you stay. I've been in TWO of these situations (one a marriage) and I'm divorced, so that tells a lot.
  • NeverCatchYourBreath
    NeverCatchYourBreath Posts: 197 Member
    Options
    I can't believe I'm actually getting sucked in to responding to one of these posts but...

    It sounds like the mom is hendering him from doing his school work by taking away his laptop, phone, and money. He needs all of those in his studies one way or another. Seems like she's putting him in a bigger bind to get through school than having a girlfriend would.

    With that said, I'm a girl who went through my college career in a long term relationship that started in high school. I regret that. I should've dated CASUALLY without trying to find someone to marry while I was so young. By casually, I don't mean go sleep around, I mean just go out with groups of people (including guys) and have a ton of fun, don't just commit to some guy you've known for three weeks and settle down.

    Lastly, if you've only been dating for three weeks and you can see his mother is batsh!t crazy, walk away. It won't improve. 3 weeks is not a long enough relationship to try to "work it out." You're young, go have fun! Don't let the thrill of this mama drama ("I'm gonna be with her no matter what you think!!") keep you tied to this dude.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Options
    Surely there has to be an actual forum dedicated to teenage relationship drama besides MFP? I wouldn't have said anything if this were your first post on the subject, but it isn't....
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Options
    Sad that this mom doesn't realize that she is ruining her childrens lives, despite her good intentions.

    Get out, crazy mom will make your life hell too. IF that;s not an option, he needs to man up and support himself so mom cannot hold things over him.
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
    Options
    Wait. He's in college and his mom took his laptop and cell phone?? And he allows this?

    I agree with everyone else... don't walk.. RUN!!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 4,994 Member
    Options
    Yes time will make it better. I was 23 my uusband 30 when we started dating. His mom hated me, didnt give me a chance. We dated for 2.5 yrs before moving in together. We married 5 yrs after being together. We have now been together for 27 yrs and she loves me but it took about 16 yrs before she even thought I was ok. Just be yourself u cant change how she feels once she sees u r good for her son she might come around in the meantime why not to let it get to u. Easier said then done
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    Submit to your parents and authorities. This is a short time in life, and parents aren't always going to be in your life as they are now....so take advantage of the help and wisdom and protection and guidance they offer. Don't rebel against them! Don't sneak around them. Respect, honesty. Obedience. Do what they tell you! Focus on school, building your character and abilities.
  • DR2501
    DR2501 Posts: 661 Member
    Options
    Tell him to grow up and tell her to back off? Sorry, but he's an adult so it has to be said.

    Although if I were you, I'd get out now. If this is what she's like now after 3 weeks, imagine what she'd be like as mother in law! :noway:

Categories