My boyfriend's parents don't want him dating?
kassiebby1124
Posts: 927 Member
in Chit-Chat
**Yes, I have a boyfriend. No it isn't the former ones (my ex or best friend). The guy I'm with goes to my school we have been dating for 3 weeks now**
My boyfriend and I are both freshman in college. We met at the beginning of the semester are starting dating at the end of it. Now, I was given the ability to date when I was 15. However, my boyfriend was not granted that luxury.
He is the youngest and has 2 other siblings, both of which had lifestyles that did not go as their mother planned. His mom essentially sees him as the "last chance" to make something out of his life. She believes that him being in a relationship AT ALL through college with mess everything up in his future. She even called my parents to see how they felt about us dating. My parents said as long as we take it slow and put school first, they are fine with it. His mom is not like that.
She is so adamantly against us dating, she took his laptop and cell phone so he can't get in contact with me. Luckily, he has an MP3 player with WiFi capabilities so we can still talk. She also said she will stop giving him money in the bank so he can do things. He said he's just gonna have to get a job. He told her that he is going to date me regardless and when we get to school (which will be this weekend), it will be easier, but I guess I just want her to accept that he wants to be with me. And I want her to like me. What do I do?
My boyfriend and I are both freshman in college. We met at the beginning of the semester are starting dating at the end of it. Now, I was given the ability to date when I was 15. However, my boyfriend was not granted that luxury.
He is the youngest and has 2 other siblings, both of which had lifestyles that did not go as their mother planned. His mom essentially sees him as the "last chance" to make something out of his life. She believes that him being in a relationship AT ALL through college with mess everything up in his future. She even called my parents to see how they felt about us dating. My parents said as long as we take it slow and put school first, they are fine with it. His mom is not like that.
She is so adamantly against us dating, she took his laptop and cell phone so he can't get in contact with me. Luckily, he has an MP3 player with WiFi capabilities so we can still talk. She also said she will stop giving him money in the bank so he can do things. He said he's just gonna have to get a job. He told her that he is going to date me regardless and when we get to school (which will be this weekend), it will be easier, but I guess I just want her to accept that he wants to be with me. And I want her to like me. What do I do?
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Replies
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You don't think time will make it better?100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.0 -
I'm with Feniks on this one!
Aren't you guys in college? You're adults!0 -
100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.
This times infinity.
She's like the moms in that Old Spice commercial. If you don't know, look it up.0 -
His mom is seemingly insane. That being said, your relationship is probably doomed b/c of her... Her son seemingly still lets her control him, which... is the real problem here. If he's still living at home, letting her do his laundry, pay his bills, etc... you two are screwed. Him being 18 doesn't matter if he's still acting a child...0
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I don't know. He is an adult, but he is still dependent financially on his mom. This sounds like more headache than I would want at that age. College is full of opportunities to meet guys. I would say this probably won't end well. He hasn't cut the cord from his mom, so this relationship will be full of her getting over involved and crossing the line. You could still be friends, but I would date other people.0
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I think you should focus on yourself for a while. This won't end well.0
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If you think he's worth it, stay. But as someone with a mother-in-law from hell (and no longer in contact thankfully!), he really has to be worth it!!0
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You don't think time will make it better?
Nope. You can't change people. Is he ok with it?0 -
Weren't you on here a couple weeks ago complaining that you could not decide between two men? Boy do you bounce back quickly!0
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As a word of advice... Run away from this toxicity.
You will find someone else out there that is allowed to be with you and you will love it. I had a girlfriend in highschool that wasn't allowed to go out or do anything... She became an EX really quick because life is entirely too short to life by someone else's rules without your input.
College is full of readily available men and women... Embrace it all and enjoy what could be some of the best years of your life. Go outside of your comfort zone and see where the world brings you...
And just because I can't help saying it... Make sure you keep your grades up!
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100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.
This times infinity.
She's like the moms in that Old Spice commercial. If you don't know, look it up.
What a weird commercial!! I just saw it the other day0 -
100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.
THIS.
you're in for a ROUGH life if you stay. I've been in TWO of these situations (one a marriage) and I'm divorced, so that tells a lot.0 -
I can't believe I'm actually getting sucked in to responding to one of these posts but...
It sounds like the mom is hendering him from doing his school work by taking away his laptop, phone, and money. He needs all of those in his studies one way or another. Seems like she's putting him in a bigger bind to get through school than having a girlfriend would.
With that said, I'm a girl who went through my college career in a long term relationship that started in high school. I regret that. I should've dated CASUALLY without trying to find someone to marry while I was so young. By casually, I don't mean go sleep around, I mean just go out with groups of people (including guys) and have a ton of fun, don't just commit to some guy you've known for three weeks and settle down.
Lastly, if you've only been dating for three weeks and you can see his mother is batsh!t crazy, walk away. It won't improve. 3 weeks is not a long enough relationship to try to "work it out." You're young, go have fun! Don't let the thrill of this mama drama ("I'm gonna be with her no matter what you think!!") keep you tied to this dude.0 -
Surely there has to be an actual forum dedicated to teenage relationship drama besides MFP? I wouldn't have said anything if this were your first post on the subject, but it isn't....0
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Sad that this mom doesn't realize that she is ruining her childrens lives, despite her good intentions.
Get out, crazy mom will make your life hell too. IF that;s not an option, he needs to man up and support himself so mom cannot hold things over him.0 -
Wait. He's in college and his mom took his laptop and cell phone?? And he allows this?
I agree with everyone else... don't walk.. RUN!!0 -
Yes time will make it better. I was 23 my uusband 30 when we started dating. His mom hated me, didnt give me a chance. We dated for 2.5 yrs before moving in together. We married 5 yrs after being together. We have now been together for 27 yrs and she loves me but it took about 16 yrs before she even thought I was ok. Just be yourself u cant change how she feels once she sees u r good for her son she might come around in the meantime why not to let it get to u. Easier said then done0
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Submit to your parents and authorities. This is a short time in life, and parents aren't always going to be in your life as they are now....so take advantage of the help and wisdom and protection and guidance they offer. Don't rebel against them! Don't sneak around them. Respect, honesty. Obedience. Do what they tell you! Focus on school, building your character and abilities.0
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Tell him to grow up and tell her to back off? Sorry, but he's an adult so it has to be said.
Although if I were you, I'd get out now. If this is what she's like now after 3 weeks, imagine what she'd be like as mother in law! :noway:0 -
**Yes, I have a boyfriend. No it isn't the former ones (my ex or best friend). The guy I'm with goes to my school we have been dating for 3 weeks now**
My boyfriend and I are both freshman in college. We met at the beginning of the semester are starting dating at the end of it. Now, I was given the ability to date when I was 15. However, my boyfriend was not granted that luxury.
He is the youngest and has 2 other siblings, both of which had lifestyles that did not go as their mother planned. His mom essentially sees him as the "last chance" to make something out of his life. She believes that him being in a relationship AT ALL through college with mess everything up in his future. She even called my parents to see how they felt about us dating. My parents said as long as we take it slow and put school first, they are fine with it. His mom is not like that.
She is so adamantly against us dating, she took his laptop and cell phone so he can't get in contact with me. Luckily, he has an MP3 player with WiFi capabilities so we can still talk. She also said she will stop giving him money in the bank so he can do things. He said he's just gonna have to get a job. He told her that he is going to date me regardless and when we get to school (which will be this weekend), it will be easier, but I guess I just want her to accept that he wants to be with me. And I want her to like me. What do I do?
Is he an adult? Over 18? Tell him to grow a set and tell her to mind her own business. If he won't, move on. If she doesn't want him dating, and he's dating you, she's not going to like you.0 -
I like your style OP, already moved on to a new guy.
His mom sees him as an investment and wants her investment to mature. You are viewed as a distraction from his main purpose of being in college. How did his mom get your mother's phone number? Are you guys over 18? College is the time to be a rebel but if they are financing him, it might be a hard thing to do.
His mother will be active in his life until the end of freshman year at least, so be prepared to deal with it or move on.0 -
If she cares about him in school, why would she take his laptop? Seems a bit psycho to me...0
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girl.... you are a hot mess. I mean this in the nicest way possible.0
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100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.
this.
For various reasons.
1.) 3 weeks in to a relationship barely qualifies as dating. You shouldn't be doing anything at this point that is tearing you away from your life drastically- 3 weeks in is a drop in the ocean.
2.) clearly he is still none functional as an adult
3.) If for WHATEVER reason- this proceeds to a long term thing- and you get married (HA)- can you imagine living with a man whose such a mommy's boy??
seriously he's in college- at some point she has to let go.
Granted- dating as a freshman I think is silly- but it's not surprising or unusual. Get out- FAST. Crazy mom's make for bad toxic relationships.0 -
get out now! His mom is NOT going to change! He MIGHT but it sounds like mom's apron strings and purse strings are tied pretty tight. If it's real love it will be there waiting for him to grow up. If it's not you will have moved on and be the better for the experience.0
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girl.... you are a hot mess. I mean this in the nicest way possible.
/thread :laugh:0 -
Culture and religion shape beliefs about relationships. Is that a factor here?0
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Why have you not cut him loose yet? Seriously. Think about you guys getting married THEN go back to the present day.
Get those running shoes on and GO. There's no future here.0 -
Trust me...you don't want to deal with the issues of a grown man who lets his mommy dictate his life in this manner. This will not end well.0
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