My boyfriend's parents don't want him dating?

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  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    **Yes, I have a boyfriend. No it isn't the former ones (my ex or best friend). The guy I'm with goes to my school we have been dating for 3 weeks now**

    My boyfriend and I are both freshman in college. We met at the beginning of the semester are starting dating at the end of it. Now, I was given the ability to date when I was 15. However, my boyfriend was not granted that luxury.

    He is the youngest and has 2 other siblings, both of which had lifestyles that did not go as their mother planned. His mom essentially sees him as the "last chance" to make something out of his life. She believes that him being in a relationship AT ALL through college with mess everything up in his future. She even called my parents to see how they felt about us dating. My parents said as long as we take it slow and put school first, they are fine with it. His mom is not like that.

    She is so adamantly against us dating, she took his laptop and cell phone so he can't get in contact with me. Luckily, he has an MP3 player with WiFi capabilities so we can still talk. She also said she will stop giving him money in the bank so he can do things. He said he's just gonna have to get a job. He told her that he is going to date me regardless and when we get to school (which will be this weekend), it will be easier, but I guess I just want her to accept that he wants to be with me. And I want her to like me. What do I do?

    Is he an adult? Over 18? Tell him to grow a set and tell her to mind her own business. If he won't, move on. If she doesn't want him dating, and he's dating you, she's not going to like you.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    I like your style OP, already moved on to a new guy.

    His mom sees him as an investment and wants her investment to mature. You are viewed as a distraction from his main purpose of being in college. How did his mom get your mother's phone number? Are you guys over 18? College is the time to be a rebel but if they are financing him, it might be a hard thing to do.

    His mother will be active in his life until the end of freshman year at least, so be prepared to deal with it or move on.
  • jmc0806
    jmc0806 Posts: 1,444 Member
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    If she cares about him in school, why would she take his laptop? Seems a bit psycho to me...
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    girl.... you are a hot mess. I mean this in the nicest way possible.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    this.

    For various reasons.

    1.) 3 weeks in to a relationship barely qualifies as dating. You shouldn't be doing anything at this point that is tearing you away from your life drastically- 3 weeks in is a drop in the ocean.

    2.) clearly he is still none functional as an adult

    3.) If for WHATEVER reason- this proceeds to a long term thing- and you get married (HA)- can you imagine living with a man whose such a mommy's boy??

    seriously he's in college- at some point she has to let go.

    Granted- dating as a freshman I think is silly- but it's not surprising or unusual. Get out- FAST. Crazy mom's make for bad toxic relationships.
  • BeckyMBisMe
    BeckyMBisMe Posts: 215 Member
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    get out now! His mom is NOT going to change! He MIGHT but it sounds like mom's apron strings and purse strings are tied pretty tight. If it's real love it will be there waiting for him to grow up. If it's not you will have moved on and be the better for the experience.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    girl.... you are a hot mess. I mean this in the nicest way possible.

    /thread :laugh:
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Culture and religion shape beliefs about relationships. Is that a factor here?
  • aeromat
    aeromat Posts: 12 Member
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    Why have you not cut him loose yet? Seriously. Think about you guys getting married THEN go back to the present day.

    Get those running shoes on and GO. There's no future here.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Trust me...you don't want to deal with the issues of a grown man who lets his mommy dictate his life in this manner. This will not end well.
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
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    Surely there has to be an actual forum dedicated to teenage relationship drama besides MFP? I wouldn't have said anything if this were your first post on the subject, but it isn't....

    I've just been reading some really heartwarming posts for a lady who was upset by strangers when out for a walk, and thinking what wonderful people there are on this forum. Then I read this :-(
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    This.

    When I was 20 I briefly dated a guy who was 25 (25!!) and the very first time I slept over his house his mother (yep he still lived with his Mom, but it was NY which is super expensive so I was forgiving) said I could have the couch because she "didn't want us sleeping in the same bed". I thought it was ridiculous and he quickly became an ex. Time will not help, his Mom will make your life and his a living hell..get out while you can!
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
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    I had parents like that. The last two months of college, I had an intern to job all set and was ready to graduate and when I told my dad I had a boyfriend he freaked out.

    Anyway. The ONLY way I was even able to date was because I lived a country away and didn't tell them. Up until 23 I lied about having a boyfriend and the only way that was even possible was because I lived on my own AND they were an ocean away.

    I am just saying, it's a pain and it may be more trouble than its worth.

    EDITED TO ADD THE MOTHER IS GOING TO BE A PAIN FOREVER AND THAT ALONE IS MORE TROUBLE THAN ITS WORTH
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    Ugh, here goes...


    Serious question(s): would the mother be as "controlling" of her son if he were dating someone else? Or does she just see something in OP that she feels she needs to protect her son?
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    My only question:























    What workout are you doing this week?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    100 to 1 odds his mom can describe him naked better than you can. Get out while you still can, his mom will make your relationship/your life a living hell.

    This.

    When I was 20 I briefly dated a guy who was 25 (25!!) and the very first time I slept over his house his mother (yep he still lived with his Mom, but it was NY which is super expensive so I was forgiving) said I could have the couch because she "didn't want us sleeping in the same bed". I thought it was ridiculous and he quickly became an ex. Time will not help, his Mom will make your life and his a living hell..get out while you can!

    Hysterically- my BF was living at home for quiet some time- for various reasons- but we often slept in two pieces of furniture- in the same room- his mother never bothered us. (Granted we weren't fornicating- one- the room had an angled ceiling and would have been insanely akward- 2 his sister's room was literally 5 feet away- and 3- I hate the idea of having sex in a grown man's house- that's his parents house. just no. NO) So happy he's moved out.

    My highly conservative family- when I went to visit in CA... we slept in separate rooms at night- even though we took a nap together watching TV.

    some people are fussy about that stuff. Shrug- their house- their rules- I don't mind.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I really wish I knew about your past posts before I commented. Your mommy's are calling each other... a week into dating.

    Da+faq+_a944f315523e76633b23c68c0c5a537f.gif
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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    this is odd.

    i agree with others that say GTFO. it's been 3 weeks....youre not THAT invested.

    it really sounds like some weird culty, backwoods, incest thing goin on here.

    keep us posted...we're all very curious as to how this will go.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Ok, so it isn't the 22 y/o best friend, the pre-marine, but a new guy (assuming the one that needs to build muscle?)....

    Sounds like muscle isn't the thing he needs to grow here.

    This will not end well. I had a mother-in-law from hell...she didn't change...Nothing I said or did was ever good enough for her son, and the only reason the doted over the grandsons is because they were half his. You'll notice that I used the word, "HAD," in that sentence, right?

    You are 19...go play the field some and find one that you can enjoy. It's got to be exhausting to have to deal with this kind of drama.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
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    My only question:























    What workout are you doing this week?

    Selfie curls.

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