How would you feel? :(

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Replies

  • chele1028
    chele1028 Posts: 248 Member
    Chele you are an inspiration! Congrats on your loss :)

    You are sweet, thank you!! :happy:
  • unhappygirl1987
    unhappygirl1987 Posts: 29
    "Try not to be caught up in the hurt feelings... usually they hurt the most when something we feared was confirmed for us and we were forced to acknowledge it."

    Nail on the head!

    Thanks again to everybody who responded. I can't wait til he gets home to give him a huge hug and tell him I love him. <3

    :) yay I am glad everyone's words of wisdom helped you. Good idea posting your question on here to get some unbiased opinions rather than stewiing it over in your head.

    PS: You are gorgeous!! You will hit your goal in no time :)
  • amaryllis135
    amaryllis135 Posts: 17
    Thank you so much!! you as well!
  • kat2475
    kat2475 Posts: 159 Member
    Sounds like you have a good guy. It's hard news to take, even if you already know it...and agree with it. He went about it in a nice and caring way and communicated how he felt. That's a sign of a healthy relationship!
  • RobynUnfiltered
    RobynUnfiltered Posts: 62 Member
    I would be bummed too, but honestly it seems from what you shared that he was pretty sensitive about it. He is brave to bring up weight to a chick LOL!! You are feeling bad because you agree with him on some level. let it go and get to work making yourself feel amazing!!
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
    I absolutely understand that this stings. No two ways about it, but you have a supportive boyfriend and he's going to stick by you. This is so much better than dealing with a partner who doesn't want you to lose the weight because he's afraid you'll leave him (I've seen other threads like this).

    Now, you can work out together, eat together and find your health together. What a kick *kitten* partner. And you sound awesome.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    He's a keeper. You are a beautiful woman and you deserve to have the body you want. Looks like you have a guy who cares enough about you that he wants you to be healthy and feel good about yourself.

    Lose the weight for you. But let him keep you motivated.

    Good luck to you!
  • eatmindfully
    eatmindfully Posts: 93 Member
    As the wife of someone who is overweight I can't tell you how much heartache I experience about my husband's weight gain. And I resent not being able to talk about it honestly you with him because he gets shut down. I don't want him to lose weight so that I would find him more attractive (though I would). I want him to be healthy and stay healthy for the long term. I want him to have healthy eatings habits and a lot of energy because I care about these things and they are important to me. Do I love him less for not taking care of himself? No. Do I resent that he has become diabetic and has that impacted our sex life? yes. Feel bad if you must but don't penalize your partner for being honest. Good luck meeting all your goals! You are so worth it!! and YES of course do this for you! But know that it is also a gift to all who love you to see you healthy, happy, confident, and energetic. Good luck! This is a great site I hope you find what you need here.
  • thursdayswoman
    thursdayswoman Posts: 60 Member
    I'm going to be the voice of dissent here, I guess. I don't think it's a sign of love or support to tell someone that you are unhappy with them. Especially in the way it sounds like he phrased it...not that he was worried about you or your physical and emotional health, but that he's unhappy with something and wants you to do something about it. It doesn't seem like he wants you to have the body that makes you happy; he wants you to have a body that makes him happy (even if he isn't looking for a trophy wife.)

    This is something that my partner and I have had to deal with ourselves and we had to go to couple's counseling for it. We are both fat, but have very different views about what being fat means and what one should do about it. But ultimately, her body is her body and mine is mine, and the feelings we have about our bodies are our own, too. If and when I'm worried about her lack of confidence or if she's feeling sad, I need to do something to help her with that...not tell her that she's making me feel bad too.

    It's really awesome that you are at a point where YOU want to get your body to a place you want it. Don't let his expectations change that for you or make you feel bad...or even make you feel like you owe a change to him.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    just a P.S. here...I love that he apologized and addressed this issue again this morning, as well as last night.

    Your post is basically the opposite of most people who complain on MFP about their partners. You communicate. He says things with love. You're willing to consider his POV and admit your own sensitivity.

    And then your OWN attitude is basically the best, too! You will reach your goals, I am sure of it :-)
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    When my husband and I first started dating we both agreed that staying physically fit helped keep sparks in a relationship.

    Earlier this year when he said we had gotten "chunky" I was really angry about it at first (I guess I didn't appreciate myself being included into his assessment) but he was right. Neither of us were in the best place at the time and we had both let stress take toll on ourselves. He took the initiative to get back into shape, I followed suit and our relationship and my own self-confidence has gotten better because of it.

    Good luck!
  • amaryllis135
    amaryllis135 Posts: 17
    I couldn't have asked for more encouraging answers. He even brought it up again and I reiterated what some of you told me, that he couldn't have gone about it in a more caring loving and supportive way. You all seem like awesome people and we can all be who we want to be. Anybody feel free to add me as a friend, I need all the awesome supportive people on my team I can get!

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