Sabotage
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jilliancraven
Posts: 5
I have tried many times to lose weight and I will be successful for a while. Then I will start to cheat, eat when no one is looking, and not good food!! I will eat chocolate and sweets like they are going out of style. I really want to lose the weight, but I feel as if I sabotage myself. I will refuse to work out, and tell myself if I eat better then the weight will come off. I have no motivation. NO one to eat healthy with me, no one to work out with me. Not enough money for a gym membership, or even to buy the healthier foods. And to top it off I work the midnight shift, and I feel like I sleep all the time. Eat, sleep , work has become my life. I don't know how to change this. Any advice?
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Replies
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Step 1: Read these links http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/Loseweight/Pages/Loseweighthome.aspx
Step 2: Get a pair of trainers, a T Shirt and some shorts / jogging bottoms, and find a type of cardio excercise that is cheap and easy and you like. I downloaded these podcasts to go running http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/c25k/Pages/couch-to-5k.aspx
Step 3: Start logging your calories, but eating normally, just to get a feel of how much you normally eat and whether there are any deficiencies in your diet (in my case I wasn't getting enough calcium).
Step 4: Begin making small changes to your diet to reduce your calorie intake and move towards a healthier balance. A good guideline I have read is that you should aim for the balanced diet with the correct proportions of fat, protein, carbs, and veggies to keep you healthy, but allow yourself 10-20% of your daily calorific intake as "discretionary calories" e.g. cake, chocolate, crisps etc. This way, you can have chocolate without "cheating" and you are more likely to stick to the diet. Don't try to make too many changes at once as you will feel like you are taking on too much and are more likely to fall off the wagon.
Ultimately, remember that you are doing this for yourself and not other people.
Good luck!0 -
Step 1: Read these links http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/Loseweight/Pages/Loseweighthome.aspx
Step 2: Get a pair of trainers, a T Shirt and some shorts / jogging bottoms, and find a type of cardio excercise that is cheap and easy and you like. I downloaded these podcasts to go running http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/c25k/Pages/couch-to-5k.aspx
Step 3: Start logging your calories, but eating normally, just to get a feel of how much you normally eat and whether there are any deficiencies in your diet (in my case I wasn't getting enough calcium).
Step 4: Begin making small changes to your diet to reduce your calorie intake and move towards a healthier balance. A good guideline I have read is that you should aim for the balanced diet with the correct proportions of fat, protein, carbs, and veggies to keep you healthy, but allow yourself 10-20% of your daily calorific intake as "discretionary calories" e.g. cake, chocolate, crisps etc. This way, you can have chocolate without "cheating" and you are more likely to stick to the diet. Don't try to make too many changes at once as you will feel like you are taking on too much and are more likely to fall off the wagon.
Ultimately, remember that you are doing this for yourself and not other people.
Good luck!
+10, very sensible. Solid advice!0 -
I have tried many times to lose weight and I will be successful for a while. Then I will start to cheat, eat when no one is looking, and not good food!! I will eat chocolate and sweets like they are going out of style. I really want to lose the weight, but I FEEL AS IF I SABOTAGE MYSELF.
--No one to eat healthy with me
--No one to work out with me
--Eat, sleep , work has become my life.
--Not enough money for a gym membership
--Not enough money to buy the healthier foods.
I don't know how to change this. Any advice?
The previous advice? Agree 200%
Also, look at what you're saying again. There's a lot more going on here than your weight. Your first clue is that this is a pattern, and (in caps), you've identified it. Second set of clues is in your list, which I broke into 2 sections.
1. You sound lonely. Losing weight is not going to fix these things you're listing, and you've probably already realized that (at least subconsciously). If an online community like MFP doesn't fill that social gap (and I'm not saying it should!), reach out via Meetup or other local "in-person" resources. There are other people working night shifts. You're not alone.
2. Money makes things easier, true. Yet you can definitely make great strides without a gym membership, or even "clean eating" - just eat a little better. I'm dropping weight steadily, and if you look @ my food diary, it's not saintly. Start small!
If you *like* reading, and want even more support in how small changes can add up (the sexypants post is the PERFECT starting point, btw), another even longer article series is here - not that I'm saying you're obese, just that the article has excellent information re: slow & steady:
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/training-the-obese-beginner.html
But mostly? Feed your soul. That was what leaped out most in your posting.
Wishing you all success.0 -
A0
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Agree with the others 100%- sounds like you are already looking for excuses. Why won't you exercise? Even if you started to walk a bit at work on your breaks? And You tube has lots of exercise videos- free! It's not all about the food. Get that crap out of the house, so you won't be tempted.
Good luck!0 -
If you choose to do only one thing, I recommend you do this: log your food....and be thorough about it, no cutting corners, log everything, snacks, meals, everything. From this, you will gain a lot of insight (number of calories, eating patterns, cravings, allergies, etc)0
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I don't think I could ever fully diet. I am a lover of crisps too much. I just try and make small changes like lots more veg with meals, smaller portions and if I’m going out with friends and will be eating some of the wrong things, then try and have a sensible breakfast and lunch.
When I denied myself crisps, I wouldn't eat then for weeks then when I did cave I wouldn't just have one pack I would have 4, live life in moderation.0 -
I have tried many times to lose weight and I will be successful for a while. Then I will start to cheat, eat when no one is looking, and not good food!! I will eat chocolate and sweets like they are going out of style. I really want to lose the weight, but I FEEL AS IF I SABOTAGE MYSELF.
--No one to eat healthy with me
--No one to work out with me
--Eat, sleep , work has become my life.
--Not enough money for a gym membership
--Not enough money to buy the healthier foods.
I don't know how to change this. Any advice?
The previous advice? Agree 200%
Also, look at what you're saying again. There's a lot more going on here than your weight. Your first clue is that this is a pattern, and (in caps), you've identified it. Second set of clues is in your list, which I broke into 2 sections.
1. You sound lonely. Losing weight is not going to fix these things you're listing, and you've probably already realized that (at least subconsciously). If an online community like MFP doesn't fill that social gap (and I'm not saying it should!), reach out via Meetup or other local "in-person" resources. There are other people working night shifts. You're not alone.
2. Money makes things easier, true. Yet you can definitely make great strides without a gym membership, or even "clean eating" - just eat a little better. I'm dropping weight steadily, and if you look @ my food diary, it's not saintly. Start small!
If you *like* reading, and want even more support in how small changes can add up (the sexypants post is the PERFECT starting point, btw), another even longer article series is here - not that I'm saying you're obese, just that the article has excellent information re: slow & steady:
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/training-the-obese-beginner.html
But mostly? Feed your soul. That was what leaped out most in your posting.
Wishing you all success.
Such fabulous advice :flowerforyou: You said it so much better than I ever could!
I just want to add that I too have no extra money for a gym membership, or to buy expensive "healthy" food. You don't need it. All food can be healthy, just in moderation. There are lots of workouts on YouTube that are free, and even just walking can help you on the path to moving more. I used to work a night shift as well (from 5pm until whenever we got done, usually 4-5am) and I lost almost 30lbs of my 54lbs lost while I was on nights.
You can do this
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*Looks around*
_saboteur_? Are you there?
It's me Margret.
No?
But seriously, OP -- as hard as it is, it will be worse later on if you don't find the motivation. You'll be kicking yourself. I feed a family of 3 on about 350.00 a month and I work out at home. Anything can be done, I promise.
ETA: I wanted to mention working overnights - which I did for a few years. Good for you for sleeping! Seriously. I walked around like a zombie. The best advise I have for you right now is to make small, sustainable changes. Stop drinking soda or commit to walking 10 minutes. Other changes will come as a result and they will feel easier.0 -
Wow, this sounds a lot like me. Please add me so that we can be on the journey together and motivate each other. I am going to follow the advice you have been given as well.0
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+10 for all the previous tips on here.
It sounds like you have a list of go-to excuses, but what really stuck out to me is that you'll tell your friends you're eating healthier and that you eat junk food in secret. This should be FOR YOU, not to prove to anyone else that you can lose weight. Maybe you should try to see a therapist/counselor to talk about how you feel about food and how to see it in a healthy light. Eating shouldn't be a secretive activity.
Take it one day at a time. If you mess up, do better the next day. Instead of denial or depression, try acceptance of what you're eating and acknowledging that you are the only person who is making the decision of what to put in your mouth.
Good luck!0 -
You don't need "healthy" foods to lose weight. And honestly, it is not that expensive if you know how/learn to cook for yourself. Vegetables are cheap. Rice and pasta and beans are cheap. You can get great deals on different kinds of "healthy" meat if you know how to shop for it. I've become good buddies with the meat guys at my grocery store (because I eat a crap ton of meat, and we're on a first name basis at this point), and they always tell me when certain things are going on sale. And then I buy as much as will fit in my freezer.
I also live by a philosophy of "If you don't buy it, you can't eat it." Don't keep things around that are going to cause you to binge. Plan your meals and snacks and buy only enough food to meet your needs. Don't buy a bag of chips or a box of snack cakes "just because." You WILL eat them.
As for exercise, this is simply a habit you have to establish. Once it becomes a habit, it won't feel like something you have to force yourself to do every single day. You don't need a gym membership, but you do need to dedicate yourself to changing your behavior. I know that is easier said than done, but nobody said this was going to be easy.0 -
I have tried many times to lose weight and I will be successful for a while. Then I will start to cheat, eat when no one is looking, and not good food!! I will eat chocolate and sweets like they are going out of style. I really want to lose the weight, but I feel as if I sabotage myself. I will refuse to work out, and tell myself if I eat better then the weight will come off. I have no motivation. NO one to eat healthy with me, no one to work out with me. Not enough money for a gym membership, or even to buy the healthier foods. And to top it off I work the midnight shift, and I feel like I sleep all the time. Eat, sleep , work has become my life. I don't know how to change this. Any advice?
I would say that you just start and do something. Strictly speaking, to lose weight you don't need to exercise. In order to exercise you don't necessarily a pair of sneakers/trainers/gym shoes or shorts. You could exercise at home barefoot, if that's what you need to do. If you don't have any one to exercise with you either do it alone, or not at all. You don't need a gym membership. Don't worry about sleeping. Getting enough sleep is beneficial for losing weight.
I would suggest that you start by freeing your home of the kinds of foods that cause you trouble. By not buying chocolates and sweets you have more money to invest in healthier foods. From what I know about the US; if you have money for chocolate and sweets, you can use the same money for chicken breasts sand veggies. In the US they are cheap, I pay the equivalent of US$ 6.- for a pound of commercial chicken breast.
Also; eat, sleep and work is the life of millions of people all over the world and changing that is entirely up to you. Just start with a few small steps at a time.
I live in an under developed country have no gym membership, no fancy exercise clothing, I don't buy organic food, have no Fitbit or similar gadget and by eating fresh foods and not having foods that do me no good in the home. But I do have a scale, eat at a deficit and log everything. I lost so far since April last year ( 2013) 45 pounds.
At first I did not exercise at all and then started to walk 5-10 minutes. I now walk 45 minutes alone for speed and walk my dog twice a day to change my lifestyle to a more active one. Yesterday I did a 10 km /6.21 miles Cancer walk in two hours 11 minutes. I know that it is no record time, but from nothing to that in 9 month is ok for me.
Good Luck !0 -
Some awesome advice you got there already! I also work nights (7PM-7AM) and it is a challenge. I set my diary up in blocks of hours instead of the traditional "Breakfast, lunch, dinner" blocks since I eat at all times of the day. I just try to keep my calories in line over a 24 hour period, no matter what time I eat.
I would also say start small. No one can live on a diet forever. It has to come down to a change in lifestyle and habits. Its OK to fall off the wagon. I am just getting back to MFP after a 3 month long fall off the wagon. Not only did I fall off...I got dragged behind for a few miles! I just dusted myself off...took ownership of the 13 pounds I gained and got right back on focus. It is always something we must stay focused on. I am worth it...and so are YOU.0 -
Motivation has to come from within. Sometimes, it takes a breaking point. That's what happened for me. I reached a point where I said "I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'm tired of not feeling happy about my size. I'm tired of food controlling me. I'm ready for change and I'll do whatever it takes!". No amount of external motivation can help you lose weight - it has to come from you! You have to want it, and do everything within your power to make it happen.0
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So far you've gotten awesome advice. This is just my 2 cents. Realize this will take time. Do it for you!
My husband is in really good shape. 6'2", toned, and 165lbs. He eats junk all the time (his metabolism makes me super jealous lol) but he's a mailman so his activity level is high. My point? I'm around him all the time when he eats a bag of cheetos in one sitting. I have to remember that that's him and not me. I don't need a bag of cheetos. If I'm feeling snack ish, I'll have a few with him and build it into my day. That's the other thing, you do not have to give up food you love. Look at my diary, add me as a friend. I eat out like twice a week. I'm having chipotle tonight for dinner. I eat chocolate almost every day. I like bread. Really I'm a bad "dieter" but I'm of the mindset that you can eat whatever as long as it fits your calories/macros. Also, everyone here will smack me for this.. but I'm not exercising currently. You can do this sitting on your *kitten* if you want. You don't need a gym. You tube is great, if you have a Wii use it, go for a walk or run, get some 5lb weights, work out dvds are also awesome. As for working nights, they suck. I'm a nurse and did night shift for a year and hated it. It can feel like all you do is eat, sleep, work. But a lot of times that's more emotional thinking. You're not really doing only those things. Do you like your job? If not it can fuel into all of your life.0 -
It's definitely something you can do on the cheap! You don't need a gym membership, personal trainer or any of that jazz. Start small. Think of a snowball rolling down a hill. It starts out small, but then as it picks up more snow, it get larger and faster at the bottom. Make small changes, and once they have become habit (which I've heard is about 17 days) add new small changes in.
For exercise, there are many alternatives. Shoot, here in MFP there are tons of exercises you can do without a gym membership or weights. Even if you find exercises that require weights you can make them. Save a milk jug and fill it with sand, water or something else heavy. You now have weights with a handle. Or, even beyond that you can come up with a workout that does even use weights. Squats, crunches, situps, pushups, squat thrusts, etc are all good exercise that build muscle, and when arranged closely together, can be cardio too. None of these require equipment or a large space to exercise. As long as you have a place big enough to lay down in, you can do these. If these are suitable for you, then make smaller changes such as taking the stairs, or even waking up a bit earlier and walking. I don't know if you have a dog or not, but they can provide companionship as well as exercise when you have to take them out for a walk.
For food, keep an open mind and start small. Track your food HONESTLY, even if it's not healthy, and even if you go over your goal. You'll quickly realize just what kind of calorie count your food choices carry. Overtime you'll find the choices that work and help to reduce calories. Lack of money doesn't really have to hamper your choices. Try to have a fruit or veggie in every meal. Canned and frozen veggies are almost as good as fresh. Canned veggies can be cheap, especially if you get them on the $1 sales (Giant has their sale going on right now). Again, small changes. It's really the complex carbs and and sugars that cause most people to gain weight. Maybe cut out soda (if you drink it) or switch to a diet soda. Again, the idea is to keep an open mind, and make small changes, one at a time.0 -
YOU have to be ready to change. I have NO one to eat healthy with - my husband and son had cheesburgers last night & I had pinapple chicken (I think pinapple chicken is great). No one to work out with - I walked on my treadmill (that was left behind when my son moved into his house) for a mile all by myself. Nothing worth having is free, if it doesn't cost money then it cost time or effort. You can do anything you set your mind to, but YOU have to do it. No one can do it for you. Good luck to ya! :flowerforyou:0
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You sure are sabotaging yourself, and honestly the most disappointed person is probably you. First things first, just like everything else you need to want to loose weight for you, not to please other people but to please yourself. That is when sneaking snacks will begin to stop because you can't sneak snacks from yourself lol. You need to set up some roadblocks to your own demise. Health foods aren't that expensive girl. A sleeve of rice cakes costs less than a bag of chips, bananas are only 39 cents a pound, and celery is a wopping $1.50 a package. Prepack snacks for yourself. peanut butter and rice cakes, peanut butter and celery, bananas and yogurt. Make sure to measure serving sizes and guess what? YOU CAN EAT FOODS YOU LOVE!!! Just eat the recommended serving. I am a fiend for Cheez-Its, I buy reduced fat and pour a serving into a snack bag, when they are gone that's it! YOU CAN DO THIS! As far as exercise goes take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park farther away from the door as usual, go for a nice walk, dance! I have faith in you that you can do it as long as your doing it for yourself. Its a hard journey but wouldn't it be nice to look back and say wow I did a damn good job and i feel amazing?0
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I've done that too. (and worked night shift :frown: ) And, I discovered about myself that I use food sometimes to fill a void, or make myself 'feel better' when I'm upset about something. For a while I started to record what I wanted to eat and what I was feeling and how I felt after, but I wouldn't stop myself from my all out binges. Then I looked back and realized there was a pattern of me feeling afraid or disappointed or even just bored...but how I felt after was always worse. I was still scared, disappointed and bored, but I was also ashamed that I just basically hurt myself by eating junk that doesn't help me reach my goals, or make me feel healthy or do anything for me except make me feel fat and guilty. Sure, it always tastes good as I'm doing it, but a moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
I totally had to change my relationship with food (and that is still a work in progress cause I really like food!) If I'm feeling the urge to sabotage myself I have a few things to do to distract me...work out, eat an apple and drink a glass of water, go for a walk, clean, go shopping and try on clothes (even if I don't buy anything), make a cup of herbal tea, play with my dogs. Most of the time my urge to binge goes away. And, if it doesn't, I allow myself a SMALL serving of what I want. Sometimes just taking a bite or two is enough to satisfy my urge.
You can do it, you aren't alone! :flowerforyou:0
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