New to Forum - Spilling my Guts

Well, where to begin? I'm a 33 year old guy in East TN that's "getting back on the bicycle" to try weight loss again. Each time I've tried in the past several years I have failed for one reason or another. But I have a 4 year old little girl and twin 11 month old little girls that need a daddy to be there for them. To be more active and able to do things with them as they grow up and to show them the proper way to eat so they don't have to fight the same fight that I've been having with myself since I was 10 years old.

I was a skinny kid up until I was about 6 years old. I started taking a bunch of steroids due to health problems with my lungs. My weight shot up a lot at that time. Then I gradually gained weight and was a chunky kid. In high school I was about a 40" waist and weighed about 275. I had to work full time from the time I was a sophomore in high school to help with bills due to an accident my dad had that left him disabled. So, working 40 hours a week and going to high school full time I never ate right - I was always grabbing fast food wherever I could and had many choices around where I was working.

After high school I got more into working out. Then about when I was 22 I decided to really work out hard and get my weight down and be healthier. I got a gym membership and started working out on an elliptical religiously and lifting weights. I didn't miss many days and stuck to it fairly well. However, I really didn't change my eating habits. I would still go grab fast food and pound away as much as I wanted. The main thing I changed is that I started only drinking water instead of soft drinks so I did cut those out. I went from hovering around 285 pounds down to 215 pounds in about a year. I was full time in college but I also worked also. And since, at that time, I was going to college to be a teacher and a coach, I also got to do work at a local high school helping with the Wellness/PE classes. So, I basically went to the gym from 6:30 to 8:00 - school from 8:30 to 12:00 - Wellness/PE from 12:00-3:00 - then most nights working from 6-10 or later. Being able to lift weights most days and then going to do the PE thing where I also played in the games with the kids for 3 hours gave me a great strength and cardio workout most every day. I was shredded and actually gained weight to about 235 pounds but it was all muscle - I was down to a 34 waist and 6% body fat.

Then two things happened that derailed me. I met my (now ex) wife and quit working out so much and school ended for me in 04 so I didn't have the benefit of going to get that cardio most days. I couldn't find a job teaching so I went into banking where I still am to this day with a desk job which isn't beneficial to lose weight.

Fast forward to March 2012. I stepped on the scales and my weight had went up and up and finally to 398. I swore it would never hit 400 and this was total insanity. So, I made a hard effort to get back to where I was before - or die trying. I bought a gym quality elliptical machine and some good weights to use at home and also bought DDP Yoga on a recommendation. From March 6, 2012 to early May 2012 I went from 398 to 342 and was feeling great. I was working out most every day, eating right, and getting stronger and more agile again. Then a hernia that I had been dealing with for about 4 years finally became strangulated which causes intense pain and can be life threatening. I saw a doctor on a Friday and by the next week I was having surgery to repair it with it being so serious. So I was laid up a few weeks from surgery and then I came back and started working out in June once again. In August I had the pains come back to my stomach and knew what it meant. I found a better doctor who eventually operated me on the week before Christmas 2012 and repaired 2 hernias and her repair was done laproscopically and I had 16 incisions around my stomach to repair. I was told by her I'd be putting myself in jeopardy if I ever try to lift anything more than 50 pounds again. This is being said to a guy who maxed on on a bench press back in the day at 380 pounds. I always used weights to supplement my exercising.

In February of 2013 my wife had beautiful twin girls and my life became even more hectic. A 3 year old and twin babies can make things insane. But at the end of the day I have made more excuses than I need to and realize that I have to be a better example for my kids and I need to get in better shape to improve my quality of life. Ever been to a theme park where you were "too fat to ride?" I have and it's embarrassing. I also am careful around plastic chairs and when I go to a restaurant I usually panic because I know some booths are almost painful to sit in. This has to stop and it will stop. I may never be able to workout like I used to due to my hernia repairs but I am going to try to ease back into it and take small steps to get back in better shape.

I am using the food log to keep up with everything I eat right now. My eating habits are changing from a couple of large meals a day and unhealthy snacks to 5 "snacks" per day that are lower calories and one decent meal that's not greasy fast food. I've cut out all sodas once again (even diet sodas). I officially started this new journey on Monday January 6th. My official weigh in on Sunday was 397. I'm aggressively trying to lose weight without starving myself and trying to stay on track. I hope to use the forums and follow others and get ideas and see that I'm not the only one that struggles with my weight issue. I know in my heart that this time will be different and my mind is in the right place for this to happen. I'm doing it for me but I'm also doing it for my kids and that's the best motivation I could ever have - period. And this time my wife is also going to do the change of lifestyle with me and that will help to have the additional support. Instead of trying to look at it like I want to go from 397 to 225 I'm trying to break this up into smaller goals to reach that big goal of mine.

My first "goal" is to be at 375 pounds by the end of this month. Sunday morning I was at 397 and today I'm at 391 so I know I'm on my way. My problem never was losing weight quickly - it always was getting sidetracked or derailed by things that shouldn't have kept me from at least eating healthy.

If anyone read this whole thing bless you - I know that I tend to ramble.