Forgive yourself to stay on track

marroyo777
marroyo777 Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
According to many different sources, January 6, 2014 was the most depressing day of the year. Why? Because that’s the day when most of us return to the daily grind after the holidays, and all of that built up good cheer seems to wear off. It may also be the first day where that “New Year, New Me” motivation began to really fade. Funny thing about motivation, is when that fire starts to wane, we find it hard to rekindle it. There is one thing that you can do and you must learn if you want to keep it going: forgive yourself.

Tell yourself “It’s ok.” It’s that simple. Didn’t make it to the gym today? It’s ok, go tomorrow. Had a donut at lunch? It’s ok, because one donut won’t add inches to your stomach (several of them might, though, so be careful.) We typically beat ourselves up when we fall short of our expectations, even slightly, and lose sight of the forest for the trees.

If there’s one thing I can tell you from my own personal experience in losing weight and keeping it off, it’s this: YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS DO THINGS RIGHT. You won’t always make it to the gym everyday. You won’t always be able to resist that pastry. You won’t always stay within your calorie limit. It’s part of the process, and you have to accept that. And it’s OK.

So instead of beating yourself up, and potentially sidelining your goals, learn to accept what has happened already. Don’t guilt yourself for not meeting your expectations 100% of the time. Forgive yourself, and resolve to do better the next chance you get. Remember, it will happen again too, so what do you do then? That’s right, forgive yourself then too. Let it go, move forward and keep reaching for your goal.

To your health and wellness,

Martin Arroyo, CPT

Replies

  • robnkellysmurf
    robnkellysmurf Posts: 10
    Now that is deep. Words sometimes cannot express emotions and human behavior however you have done a fine job on expressing emotions and feelings with lifestyle changes with eating and being healthy.

    All I can say is bravo and thank you for the awesome words of motivation and support. Happy Friday
  • marroyo777
    marroyo777 Posts: 12
    Thank you, my friend. Your kind words are much appreciated. I'm glad to share my insights, as you and I both know, these are often hard earned. Take care and happy Friday!
  • desireebeam
    desireebeam Posts: 5
    According to many different sources, January 6, 2014 was the most depressing day of the year. Why? Because that’s the day when most of us return to the daily grind after the holidays, and all of that built up good cheer seems to wear off. It may also be the first day where that “New Year, New Me” motivation began to really fade. Funny thing about motivation, is when that fire starts to wane, we find it hard to rekindle it. There is one thing that you can do and you must learn if you want to keep it going: forgive yourself.

    Tell yourself “It’s ok.” It’s that simple. Didn’t make it to the gym today? It’s ok, go tomorrow. Had a donut at lunch? It’s ok, because one donut won’t add inches to your stomach (several of them might, though, so be careful.) We typically beat ourselves up when we fall short of our expectations, even slightly, and lose sight of the forest for the trees.

    If there’s one thing I can tell you from my own personal experience in losing weight and keeping it off, it’s this: YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS DO THINGS RIGHT. You won’t always make it to the gym everyday. You won’t always be able to resist that pastry. You won’t always stay within your calorie limit. It’s part of the process, and you have to accept that. And it’s OK.

    So instead of beating yourself up, and potentially sidelining your goals, learn to accept what has happened already. Don’t guilt yourself for not meeting your expectations 100% of the time. Forgive yourself, and resolve to do better the next chance you get. Remember, it will happen again too, so what do you do then? That’s right, forgive yourself then too. Let it go, move forward and keep reaching for your goal.

    To your health and wellness,

    Martin Arroyo, CPT

    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________
    GAH! I totally needed to read this today! I was not able to work out yesterday (and failed to do so this morning), but I will pick back up this evening. I need to forgive myself, pick myself back up, and keep moving forward. Thanks Marroyo77!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    true...a huge part of turning the corner and truly making a "lifestyle change" is understanding that you're not going to be 100% all of the time. Life happens...you have birthday parties and holidays and rando neighborhood barbecues...and otherwise just have "off" days. You're going to have days that things come up and you miss workouts (I've missed the last two days because the poop hit the fan at work...but I'll be back in the gym tomorrow). What you have to realize is that it's all about what you're doing most of the time...it's not about being perfect...that's impossible. It's all about living a lifestyle that is fitness-centric and nutrition driven...and allowing yourself a little leeway as well. When you really start to see that bigger picture and get out of the minutia that is day to day, that's when things really start making sense where your "lifestyle" is concerned and what that means for your overall health and well being long term.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    this is a very very very harmful mindset.

    saying that's okay to bad habits doesnt make the effects of them go away.

    binge today? you'll still gain weight if you forgive yourself.

    consistently skip workouts? you wont progress no matter how many times you tell yourself that's okay.

    keep messing up? stop messing up.

    that actually works.

    just dont be hateful to yourself when you correct your path.
  • GingerLolita
    GingerLolita Posts: 738 Member
    I think this idea is very effective. People feel like they already ruined their diet after a mistake, so they just binge and stop exercising. When I make a mistake, I don't obsess over it, I just go back to my original plan. It's hard to get used to this mentality, but I think it can really help. The key is that you move on and don't make these mistakes repeatedly.
  • marroyo777
    marroyo777 Posts: 12
    this is a very very very harmful mindset.

    saying that's okay to bad habits doesnt make the effects of them go away.

    binge today? you'll still gain weight if you forgive yourself.

    consistently skip workouts? you wont progress no matter how many times you tell yourself that's okay.

    keep messing up? stop messing up.

    that actually works.

    just dont be hateful to yourself when you correct your path.

    From your post, I think we're actually more in agreement with each other than anything. The idea, like you said, is not to obsess over little missteps. From my experience, a lot of people, especially in the beginning will adopt an all or nothing mindset when it comes to making a lasting change. Once they slip, they start on a slippery slope because they feel "bad" for slipping. But if you learn to forgive one little misstep and just move on with your journey it can be far more effective than letting everything self destruct for something that is intrinsically human - to make mistakes.

    One thing that is said about many pro athletes is that they have an ability to take a bad day in stride, forget about it, then come back the next day strong. It's one of the reasons for their consistency, which leads to their success. It's something that has stuck with me, and has helped me maintain. Take care.
  • marroyo777
    marroyo777 Posts: 12

    GAH! I totally needed to read this today! I was not able to work out yesterday (and failed to do so this morning), but I will pick back up this evening. I need to forgive myself, pick myself back up, and keep moving forward. Thanks Marroyo77!!

    Glad that you enjoyed the post Desiree! Yes, give yourself the clean slate and go hit it hard tonight! Here's to a great workout and a great weekend!
  • marroyo777
    marroyo777 Posts: 12
    Right on, cwolfman13. Life happens and you will not be able to/not want to eat perfect and hit the gym ALL of the time (or fit in a workout for that matter.) But if you think over longer stretches of time and about overall consistency, forgive the one or two missteps, it WILL become a lifestyle and not a temporary fix. Thanks for posting.
  • marroyo777
    marroyo777 Posts: 12
    GingerLolita, you hit the nail on the head. Don't obsess, keep moving forward and you'll be ok. Thanks for posting.

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