Shut down the peer pressure (I'm already tempted)

JohnsElan
JohnsElan Posts: 81
edited February 10 in Motivation and Support
Ok. So when someone offers a beer, I can shut them down 99% of the time by saying, "No, thanks; I'm an alcoholic." People respect that and move on.

But, when someone offers food, and I say, "No, thanks; <I'm dieting - I'm counting calories - I'm trying to quit being obese - etc.>", they rejoin with "It's OK, its only a little <food>, it won't hurt". Often, people will offer again after a second refusal. The thing is; it will "hurt" if you are a compulsive/binge/emotional eater and you suddenly find yourself going for "fourths and fifths" while vaguely remembering the shame of going for "seconds".

So. What are the "magic words" to concisely shut down the offer of food in social situations? I don't want to be rude to someone who believes they are being considerate, but I also want to shut down the offer without a back and forth volley or the sharing of a life story. ("I've been overweight since ...blah blah blah")

Please share your own experiences and advice you've learned. How do you firmly but politely refuse someone who is playing host(ess)?

Replies

  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    Lol, good luck with that - the first week I told coworkers that I was trying to cut back and watch what I eat, I had donuts and candy placed on my desk every morning.
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    "no thanks, i just had gum in my mouth"

    "no thanks, im not hungry"
  • Diet_Soda
    Diet_Soda Posts: 124 Member
    I already ate, but thank you.

    No, thank you, I am not hungry right now.

    No explanations needed.
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    Good ones.:smile:
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    Lol, good luck with that - the first week I told coworkers that I was trying to cut back and watch what I eat, I had donuts and candy placed on my desk every morning.

    Thats CRUEL!! :noway:
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    Don't use the diet or your weight as an excuse, people feel compelled to convince you it's not really an issue.

    Just say, "No thanks, I'm not hungry". Or, "I'm full". Or just. "Naw, I'm good". They might ask, "Are you sure?" but when you tell them yes, that should be the end of it. Unless they're just weirdos, in which case, maybe you should rethink your friendship... lol
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    why would anyone announce to their co workers they are on a diet? Just do your thing.

    if there is an office party, eat a little and move on.
  • sumeetg37
    sumeetg37 Posts: 108 Member
    Lie... tell people you are diabetic that stops it instantly. I actually am diabetic so that's a bonus...
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    Lie... tell people you are diabetic that stops it instantly. I actually am diabetic so that's a bonus...

    Love it! Perfect!
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    I have a ton of food allergies. I normally use them to get me out of people being pushy with food.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I think I saw once on here that someone would say something to the effect of: "I'm a compulsive overeater. It's a disease, like being an alcoholic. Thanks, but I'll pass."
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    I say "no thanks" and that's the end of it. If they offer again, I say "I already said no; that's the end of it. I do appreciate it."

    No means no. You don't need to explain to others why you are declining. They're not obligated to know your reasons. Just smile and say no, and then repeat it until they understand. Or just walk away.

    We're adults here, not children pleading with our mothers.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    I'm pretty easygoing, but I will get abrasive quickly if pushed.

    My prof messed with me a lot during my weight loss in grad school.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Th magic words are, "No, thank you."

    Don't add, "I'm on a diet." Just say you don't want any and move on. The person offering most likely will, too.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    How about just "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry"?

    You don't have to offer any reasoning for refusing food.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    DO NOT say you're on a diet or counting calories. That will just get you into trouble. Just say "no thank you."
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    I say "no thanks" and that's the end of it. If they offer again, I say "I already said no; that's the end of it. I do appreciate it."

    No means no. You don't need to explain to others why you are declining. They're not obligated to know your reasons. Just smile and say no, and then repeat it until they understand. Or just walk away.

    We're adults here, not children pleading with our mothers.

    This. You don't need to explain yourself.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    "No thanks. It gives me explosive diarrhea." :sick:
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    How about just "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry"?

    You don't have to offer any reasoning for refusing food.

    For some strange reason these refusals are "red flags" for Southern Baptists and viajitas. They begin to inquire about your health and look into your eyes for signs of curse from a bruja.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    How about just "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry"?

    You don't have to offer any reasoning for refusing food.

    For some strange reason these refusals are "red flags" for Southern Baptists and viajitas. They begin to inquire about your health and look into your eyes for signs of curse from a bruja.

    I live in the south. Just respond with "no, I'm fine, but thanks for your concern".

    If they pry further, well you are just going to have to be firm. "I said, no thank you."
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    "No thanks. It gives me explosive diarrhea." :sick:

    JaJaJa!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    "I don't want to eat that crap!"
    "Do YOU KNOW how many calories are in that?!"
    "No thanks, I don't want to be fat anymore."

    Oh wait, you said polite ways. Polite never worked for me. If I simply said, "No, thanks," I usually got the, "just try it" or "you are skinny, you can eat it." The worst: "Live a little."

    Being rude is more effective at shutting it down, but also apparently offensive.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    How about just "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry"?

    You don't have to offer any reasoning for refusing food.

    For some strange reason these refusals are "red flags" for Southern Baptists and viajitas. They begin to inquire about your health and look into your eyes for signs of curse from a bruja.

    I live in the south. Just respond with "no, I'm fine, but thanks for your concern".

    If they pry further, well you are just going to have to be firm. "I said, no thank you."

    And if they still continue after that, don't you guys all carry guns down there?
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    After the person disrespects the first no, say, "No means no. No does not mean [obnoxious behavior that person just did]." That works surprisingly well, even for things like street harassment. The bottom line is that saying no to anything represents an explicit personal boundary.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    How about just "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry"?

    You don't have to offer any reasoning for refusing food.

    For some strange reason these refusals are "red flags" for Southern Baptists and viajitas. They begin to inquire about your health and look into your eyes for signs of curse from a bruja.

    And your explanations only teach them that it's their business. That you are subservient and beholden to them. That you are obligated to explain your decisions to them.

    They do it to you because you allow and invite it.

    Be an adult.
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    I`m alergic
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    "No. I don't want anything. Thanks, though."


    No excuses or reasons to be given. And nothing to have to explain or additional offerings should be given. You simply don't want anything.
  • jess135177
    jess135177 Posts: 186 Member
    If you really don't want whatever they are offering just say "no thanks" and leave it at that. If you do want it but you are "dieting" just remember everything in moderation and make it fit your calorie allowance.
  • nm212
    nm212 Posts: 570 Member
    When I was vegetarian, you would be surprised how easy it was to get out of eating without a question asked. I used to have similar issue but if you just say you're vegetarian or vegan or gluten-free ....You will be amazed. LOL If you don't want to lie (assuming you are not any of those things.) Then just say I already ate. Thanks! Works like a charm. :)
  • nm212
    nm212 Posts: 570 Member
    If they keep persisting, then just say, "Thanks, Maybe later!". They usually won't ask again after that. Good luck! It's not easy in social situations, that's for sure.
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