So overwhelmed.

lilacghost
lilacghost Posts: 17 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone.

So you can see by the title that I'm feeling very overwhelmed by weight issues. I'm at a weird place where I accept and love my size 24/26 body more than I ever loved my body when it was smaller and at the same time, I want to lose weight and become more fit. I want to be lighter and more flexible, have more stamina and have a bigger selection of fashion to choose from.

I'm overwhelmed because I have no idea where to start. I feel like I'm big enough that exercising is just more difficult now. Exercise machines have weight limits that I probably surpass and walking absolutely kills my knees and legs. I'm really just horribly out of shape. I grew up in a family that never cooked and where tv dinners were almost all we ate - and, of course, a lot of restaurant food. All of my attempts at cooking weren't met with very supportive attitudes. Now I'm older so I really have no excuse other than I still live with a family who really encourages unhealthy habits. I do have a disability (severe depression, severe anxiety, severe agoraphobia) where I'm more dependent on others than I'd like to be.

I just don't know where to start. Right now my goal is to get down to a size 12-16. I don't plan on weighing myself because I find that very triggering.

Is anyone else feeling so overwhelmed by the idea of losing over a hundred pounds? Does anyone want to partner up?

Exercises for very fat and out of shape people? Healthy food blogs? Anything? :)
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Replies

  • edelm09
    edelm09 Posts: 20
    Yup i feel pretty much the same i was always a size 8 3 years later im a size 16 can you not go walking thats what im doing even 20 mins brisk walking and just eat right.. i know its hard i always survived on junk and processed foods and never put on weight until these last few years now im at braking point where i know if i dont do something ill just keep getting bigger..I have only been here a day and theres so much information and support with this site im thinking i can do it..
  • lilacghost
    lilacghost Posts: 17 Member
    Walking is something I definitely want to do but it's super hard right now with my body the way it is. I'm extremely heavy on top, have knee and back problems (horrible sciatic pain) and get verrrrry out of breath.

    When I was around your size I could easily walk for miles, no problem and lost a lot of weight doing that. However I'm about 8-10 sizes larger now and so my mobility has definitely decreased. It's just hard and very painful and I notice that after two days of working out my hips and other joint are killing me. I guess this is just very disheartening. I know what I have to do, but it's hard to actually get my body to do those things. I need to start doing 5-10 minutes of exercise I guess.

    I wonder if my eating habits matter more right now than exercising does. Hmm.
  • alt1268
    alt1268 Posts: 159 Member
    I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that you are not alone. There are alot of people who feel completely overwhelmed by their weight. All I can tell you is try your best. Walk as much as you can. This will lead to other things. (ie. elipitical, weights, aerobics, etc.) with everything you do comes more stamina.

    I am just know giving this a serious effort myself, in the past it was so easy. Now not so much, it is very hard. all I have to do is look at food and I gain weight.

    Feel free to add me for support. Take care and good luck!
  • Rak0ribz
    Rak0ribz Posts: 177 Member
    Have you tried the stationary bikes? I've had really good luck with them - they give a really good workout, offer low resistance if you desire it, and don't put the kind of stress on your joints that running and walking do. Good luck with your journey - this site is full of success stories, and I'm sure you'll be one of them soon.
  • brandi712
    brandi712 Posts: 407 Member
    I wonder if my eating habits matter more right now than exercising does. Hmm.

    I would start with just your eating habits. There is a forum thread going around asking if people have lost weight without exercise. The definitive answer is yes. I detest exercising and I have lost weight in the past without it. I just learned portion control and found healthy alternatives to all the junk i was eating. Try not to get discouraged. We all need to start somewhere.
  • lilacghost
    lilacghost Posts: 17 Member
    You guys are amazing. Thanks for all the responses! I'm happy to be here. :)
  • sarahenagy
    sarahenagy Posts: 65 Member
    You have to start somewhere. I agree with others, start with the food. Once you loose a little and are in less pain, start some working out. Perhaps start in the water? Swimming or even just walking laps in a pool. You might also consider classes at a gym (like water aerobics). I have found myself much more motivated and less overwhelmed when I have others to share the fitness burden with. And remember, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Sometimes exercise and eating right are hard.
  • Nicholsonaj
    Nicholsonaj Posts: 54
    Hi - you absolutely can do this!
    Find the thread's about nutrition and losing weight - 80% of your results will come from getting the food right!
    For now - just walk for short periods - even 5 minutes is better than none! I know it seems like a hassle to but sneakers etc on just for 5 minutes - but you'll soon build up to 10 minutes and so on!
    You took the bravest step in starting and asking for help...you CAN do this!
    AJ
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    lilac...i felt the same.. i had pretty much figured id never be able to run again..and at first it was only a little bit...but each time it became a little more..all you can do is what you can..but it will get better overtime..

    between that and of course (most important) the diet, you can get there with patience.


    wish you the best of luck with your goals
  • page8040
    page8040 Posts: 50 Member
    Focus on your diet first and foremost. If you change your diet, your mind will change too. And when your mind changes, you will feel more capable and worthy of your goal. Depending on how well you change your diet, a lot of your joint and pain issues will cease. Your mindset must change too though. Stop telling yourself what you can't do and then listing the reasons why you can't -- this is just you trying to legitimize your excuses. Tell yourself what you can do, and why you can do it. You have 2 legs and 2 arms that operate the way your brain tells them to. Don't take this for granted! Stretch every morning to start your day. I love ballistic stretching. You'd be amazed how much something as simple as 3 minutes of stretching wakes up your muscles, your mind, and your being. It's so energizing. Swimming (if you're comfortable enough to get in a bathing suit) is a great exercise and causes very little stress. And walk!! You're not bed-ridden so you know you can do that. A little walking every day, even if it's not brisk in the beginning, has the power to totally transform you. Good luck to you, my love!!
  • journey_man
    journey_man Posts: 110 Member
    Sounds like you have a lot to lose. You can easily lose without exercise at the beginning.

    Plug in the numbers and do what MFP tells you. Barring an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food, you will be shocked at how easy this is.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I completely understand about feeling overwhelmed. Because of this...SMALL goals are your friend.

    I think it is a great sign that you look toward being a size 12 or 16. I honestly think some women who are much larger to start with sabotage themselves by aspiring to a size 2, 4, 6...just my opinion. I know everyone is motivated in a different way, but for me the small goals were the best.

    At my heaviest I was 307 lb. Right now I'm at 201 lb. I didn't get there overnight. It has taken almost 5 years. However, MFP and logging my food *really* sped up my progress. I've lost 61 lb in under 10 months. The rest of my weight took much longer to lose.

    I would recommend walking as much as you possibly can for "starter" exercise. I found that I was more excited and challenged by walking x number of miles per day (4-5 evenings per week, but of course you could do 6-7 days per week) than walking for a set amount of time daily. Perhaps setting a goal of 20-30 pounds to lose would be a good place to start. Then up that goal to 40-50 lb.

    You can get there, just do not allow outside factors to overwhelm you. I understand it can be difficult to eat healthy when you live with people whose habits aren't the healthiest. But you can lose weight eating almost anything, as long as you keep a calorie deficit. I believe in the MFP set guidelines, they have served me well. One thing to avoid is eating LESS than MFP suggests for whatever amount you want to lose. I find that when I eat almost EXACTLY the MFP-guided calories, I lose more weight.

    My best to you!!
  • lilacghost
    lilacghost Posts: 17 Member
    I fear I do have an unhealthy relationship with food, maybe, but I wouldn't say an eating disorder.

    Anyway, thanks so much everyone. Really encouraging. :)
  • beckyinma
    beckyinma Posts: 1,433 Member
    baby steps both in terms of diet AND exercise. If walking is a problem, make tiny goals, like walking to the next telephone pole, and back. When that doesn't hurt, move to the next telephone pole, and back.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    Don't give up..........keep on keepin' on.
  • shaydon80
    shaydon80 Posts: 138 Member
    Start my eating smaller portions and maybe think about what your biggest food vice is and try to avoid it. For me, it was Pepsi. I gave it up for a week to start and then after a week I decided to give it up for the rest of the month. Now, three years later I drink it only occasionally. I don't NEED it like I did when I was bigger. Once you start seeing some progress, add in some walking. Start with 15 minutes a day and then increase to 20, 25, 30...
    I lost almost 100lbs eating between 1500-1700 calories a day and exercising for 30-45 minutes (low impact) 6 days a week. My motto: Eat less, Move more! It works. I promise! And when you feel like cheating, just remember that the only person that you're cheating is yourself. There's nothing wrong with the occasional treat, of course. As long as you stay within your calorie goal. Good luck!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I wonder if my eating habits matter more right now than exercising does. Hmm.

    I would start with just your eating habits. There is a forum thread going around asking if people have lost weight without exercise. The definitive answer is yes. I detest exercising and I have lost weight in the past without it. I just learned portion control and found healthy alternatives to all the junk i was eating. Try not to get discouraged. We all need to start somewhere.


    Weight loss is acheived by eating fewer calories than you burn. You burn calories just by being alive and going about your daily activities. If determine how many calories that is (TDEE), and eat fewer calories than that, you will lose weight. Exercsing burns calories too, and will increase what you can eat in a day, but is primarily for fitness so you don't have to exercise to lose weight.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    I wanted to lose about 80lbs when I first started and that seemed overwhelming too! I have found the best thing for me is to break it down a little bit and set short term goals: I want to lose 4 lbs this month or I want to drop a size by my birthday. For me it really helps give me something to move towards that seems attainable because it is in a shorter period of time. MAKE SURE YOU SET REALISTIC GOALs though. Start with a really easy one that you can acheive and start yourself on the path of setting and meeting goals and feeling better about yourself. Since you said it is hard to exercise then definitely start with your diet. Start logging and for the first week you can just set a goal to hit maintance calories and stop gaining, seems small but thats a step in the weightloss journey too! Then work you way down to weightloss and give your body some time to adjust to the whole experience.

    Swimming and biking would both be good exercises if you can find somewhere to do them, they are low impact. If not you can start with small thing, sit in a chair and do punches or turn on some music and just grove a little bit, anything that gets your heart rate and breathing up will be heading in the right direction.

    Best of luck and remember to stay posative! Last but not least make some friends on here, its great to have people to complain to on you bad days and brag to on your good days and who will cheer you on along the way!
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,218 Member
    I completely understand about feeling overwhelmed. Because of this...SMALL goals are your friend.

    I think it is a great sign that you look toward being a size 12 or 16. I honestly think some women who are much larger to start with sabotage themselves by aspiring to a size 2, 4, 6...just my opinion. I know everyone is motivated in a different way, but for me the small goals were the best.

    At my heaviest I was 307 lb. Right now I'm at 201 lb. I didn't get there overnight. It has taken almost 5 years. However, MFP and logging my food *really* sped up my progress. I've lost 61 lb in under 10 months. The rest of my weight took much longer to lose.

    I would recommend walking as much as you possibly can for "starter" exercise. I found that I was more excited and challenged by walking x number of miles per day (4-5 evenings per week, but of course you could do 6-7 days per week) than walking for a set amount of time daily. Perhaps setting a goal of 20-30 pounds to lose would be a good place to start. Then up that goal to 40-50 lb.

    You can get there, just do not allow outside factors to overwhelm you. I understand it can be difficult to eat healthy when you live with people whose habits aren't the healthiest. But you can lose weight eating almost anything, as long as you keep a calorie deficit. I believe in the MFP set guidelines, they have served me well. One thing to avoid is eating LESS than MFP suggests for whatever amount you want to lose. I find that when I eat almost EXACTLY the MFP-guided calories, I lose more weight.

    My best to you!!

    You've gotten some really good advice, but this expresses my sentiments exactly. Nicely done, Seltzermint!
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  • rslcarson
    rslcarson Posts: 35 Member
    Hi, Have you tried swimming? Being submerged in water takes all the weight off your body. If you can't swim lessons would be a good way to introduce a small amount of activity. Even though walking is painful now as you start to lose a little weight it will become easier. I would recommend joint supplements as well.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    The more you have to lose, the greater role diet can play in getting you there. Figure out your energy needs and then cut it by 500-1000 calories. Find your Basal Metabolic Rate and dont eat less than that- its the number your body needs just to be in a coma. At the very least start practicing eating at or below your maintenance level. I.e. Stop eating to gain. Thats your starting place. Even smaller deficits will make a difference over time!!! One bad day NEVER equals another. Shake it off and move on.

    As for exercise. There are seated exercises you can do. Try walking as much as you can, even in small bursts. It should get easier as you lose lbs. And fidget. There is research out there that shows that one difference between overweight and thin people is that thin people fidget more. I read that a long time ago so Im sure its obsolete but its always stuck with me. When I catch myself sitting still I try to keep my feet moving or flexing. A snowflake is a small fragile thing, but get enough of them and you have an avalanche. Little increases in your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is going to get you where you need to be.

    Take up swimming? Its another great low impact resistance activity. Even walking from one side of the pool to the other in water waist or chest deep water is going to help your body burn calories. :smile:

    Good luck!
  • sbarella
    sbarella Posts: 713 Member
    Like everyone said: one step at a time. You don't have to do everything at once, and you are not alone.
  • captmiddy
    captmiddy Posts: 147 Member
    Walking is definitely good. I lost my weight by walking a bunch (between 10k and 15k steps a day) and managing my calorie intake religiously. The scale became my best friend. I don't go to the gym, I don't currently lift (that will be changing in both regards as I move into my next phase) and outside of walking I only have a few sporadic activities I would call exercise.

    The biggest thing is you have to decide this is what you are going to do and then don't let anything sway you. That cookie in the cupboard is just there to taunt you, ignore it. People who empty their cupboards because they can't avoid the cookie are not as likely to be successful as those who can ignore the temptation, because you can't block out all temptations, you must build the will to skip them when they don't fit inside your plan, and indulge when you can.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I completely understand about feeling overwhelmed. Because of this...SMALL goals are your friend.

    I think it is a great sign that you look toward being a size 12 or 16. I honestly think some women who are much larger to start with sabotage themselves by aspiring to a size 2, 4, 6...just my opinion. I know everyone is motivated in a different way, but for me the small goals were the best.

    At my heaviest I was 307 lb. Right now I'm at 201 lb. I didn't get there overnight. It has taken almost 5 years. However, MFP and logging my food *really* sped up my progress. I've lost 61 lb in under 10 months. The rest of my weight took much longer to lose.

    I would recommend walking as much as you possibly can for "starter" exercise. I found that I was more excited and challenged by walking x number of miles per day (4-5 evenings per week, but of course you could do 6-7 days per week) than walking for a set amount of time daily. Perhaps setting a goal of 20-30 pounds to lose would be a good place to start. Then up that goal to 40-50 lb.

    You can get there, just do not allow outside factors to overwhelm you. I understand it can be difficult to eat healthy when you live with people whose habits aren't the healthiest. But you can lose weight eating almost anything, as long as you keep a calorie deficit. I believe in the MFP set guidelines, they have served me well. One thing to avoid is eating LESS than MFP suggests for whatever amount you want to lose. I find that when I eat almost EXACTLY the MFP-guided calories, I lose more weight.

    My best to you!!

    You've gotten some really good advice, but this expresses my sentiments exactly. Nicely done, Seltzermint!

    Aw thanks!!
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
    Exercise machines have weight limits that I probably surpass and walking absolutely kills my knees and legs

    Obviously all machines are different but I looked up the specs for a LifeFitness elliptical trainer (these have been at every gym I've been a member of) and they're rated for 350lbs. For treadmills it seems to be 400lbs. As far as pain goes all I can say is that that just comes with the territory. Obviously if it's too much it's too much but I think sometimes people mistake (perhaps even on purpose) aches or a little discomfort as enough pain to justify not putting forth an effort. I'm sorry to say no matter what level you're at exercise should always be somewhat of a strain. That's why you do it. I say that only because I've been there myself. I hope you can get to where you need to be to feel comfortable pushing yourself. Good luck!
  • thekarens
    thekarens Posts: 254 Member
    Everyone here has given great advice. My only advice is to take it one day at a time and don't be hard on yourself. If you "fall off the wagon" don't give up, realize you can get back on and start over. I also agree with small goals so things don't seem so overwhelming.

    If walking truly is too painful I'd recommend water aerobics or any other water activity. There's always "something" you can do one way or another. The fact is the majority of your weight will come off with diet, but exercise is important because that's a big part of what makes you fit and healthy.

    Good luck and keep plugging along. You are not alone!
  • lilacghost
    lilacghost Posts: 17 Member
    I remeber when i ws very large and every part of my body ached carrying that extra weight.

    I started by walking. At first I couldnt even do a mile. My back and hips hurt so bad after that first walk i contemplated not doing it again. But i kept at it. Within 8 months I was down 80+ lbs and hiking my dog 4 - 7 miles a day.

    My body aches have gone away.

    I am no DR but if i were your best friend I would tell you to stop making excuses. Take an asprin and start walking, even if it is a half a mile or five minutes. You just need to START. No excuses.

    You say your comfortable with your size? I say you shouldnt be. The only way u should be is if it is not causing problems, but it is, you are in physical pain because of the added weight.

    Please talk to your doctor about what diet is best for you. S/he can also reccomend an excersize regime that you can do and work on.

    Good luck!

    I think this is silly. You're not going to get anywhere (or, at least I'm not) by hating yourself. When I spent my time hating myself, I was much more depressed and anxious and socially messed up. I'd let people treat me horribly and just take it because I felt I deserved it. I was uncomfortable with myself, hated myself, would obsess over it and guess what? I remained fat! I've actually lost weight since my body acceptance journey began. And yes, my aches and pains have definitely increased since becoming heavier but I've had hip and sciatic pain since I was 13 and weighed 118 pounds.

    Anyway, I think there's some good advice here but "stop being comfortable with yourself" isn't very nice. :(
  • owena535
    owena535 Posts: 5 Member
    I wanted to second the suggestion about swimming. Swimming or walking in the pool are great in so many ways - helps the joints, gets your heart rate up without stressing your body. Some pools have small water weights you can use also. I've done a lot of pool work for rehab and can't recommend it enough (this is coming from someone who is not that keen on gyms). Good luck!
  • Mojoman02
    Mojoman02 Posts: 146 Member
    Give yourself a big pat on the back for just being here and asking!! You will find a lot of support here! As for your family....well if they eat a lot of junk, are they obese and feel unhealthy too? Is that where you want to be 20-30 years from now? It sure doesn't sound like it.
    I would experiment with cooking in the kitchen. Find a few easy recipes, inexpensive ingredients. I think you will be surprised at what you can make!
    And I agree with others.....concentrate on the food now...worry about exercise until you are comfortable and not in pain.
    You CAN do this!! Hugs!!

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