Depression + Anxiety = weight gain

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Horner_Mom
Horner_Mom Posts: 2
in Introduce Yourself
Well, I don't want to sound desperate, but that is what I feel among many other adjectives! I successfully lost 65 pounds in 10 months ending in August 2006 and remained at 170 until 2011 when I began the glorious experience called "menopause." If you are not familiar with with her, she is an EVIL creature. I was extremely fatigued and my daily 3-mile walk become less and less frequent. In 2012, my baby turned 21 and moved out just because she wanted to "be a big girl." She was and is very successful at that, but I feel in to depression and battled it alone for 6 months, but after finding myself in the flooring crying for hours on yet another day I went to my primary care physician and she started me on anti-depressant. Six months later I was doing better and she agreed I could taper off and so I began doing so. The last week of the taper, something happened (still not certain if it was related to the medication or not), but BP (which I've taken medication for over 30 years) began becoming higher and my heart rate was dropping in the 40s. Because of all that the weight had started creeping back on, which now added anxiety to the mix. In June 2013 I ended up having to get a cardiac stent for one blockage of 75%. So, as I start to "get back on track" from that, I have problems with bursitis in my hip and am just so discouraged with myself that I have gained this weight back after keeping it off for five years. So, I am starting to move less and then November 24, 2013 my brother died unexpectedly :brokenheart: so with his death and two holidays the depression and anxiety became worse. I finally returned to my doctor today for a medication adjustment, but I have got to lose this weight because I am just disgusted at myself and well, that is not good for a person to feel about themselves. I am hoping that posting here will be beneficial and perhaps there is someone that might understand just a little and walk beside me on this journey. Thanks for reading my story! Pam

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  • srsly_sarah
    srsly_sarah Posts: 42 Member
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    That sounds like a horrible situation! However, I do know about losing a lot of weight and keeping it off until an unexpected disease hit, which did lead to a ton of anxiety, depression, and weight gain.

    My weight has yo-yo'd for the past two years as I've regained part of my health, only to get worse again.

    I hope you have someone in your life to help support you with healthy eating choices and encourage you to do the activity that you can do! I always start of my activity slow, but get too excited and injure myself or wear myself out, so try to avoid that!

    You are definitely not alone!
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
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    I understand your pain. For right now until you get you meds regulated work on only one thing to change. Too many will just lead to more frustration and not meeting your goals. I would try getting back into the walking again. Sometimes you have to force yourself to walk but I always felt better if only for a little bit. Make your goals attainable. Instead of looking at what you've gained, break it down into pieces you can manage. It didn't come on 70lbs in one wack so it won't go off that way but you already know that. Park your car a little further away from the market to walk a little more. This is a good place to start. MFP is great. Some people are just plain snarky and others are helpful just like any other social site.Just remember overwhelming yourself only adds to the depression. One last thing: make sure you get enough rest. Life doesn't seem so unmanageable when you've had enough sleep. Good luck. BTW I've been on antidepressants for 20+ years and will go to my grave taking them. It goes hand in hand with my thyroid issues.
  • quksan
    quksan Posts: 25 Member
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    I will definitely keep younin my prayers. Blessing to you during this journey that you have already started by posting here.
  • srsly_sarah
    srsly_sarah Posts: 42 Member
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    My doctor gave me a small pedometer to wear on my waist at first, and actually told me that I wasn't allowed to go over a certain number, but had to go over another number. I've since switched to an electronic one that I wear on my wrist, but maybe a simple pedometer could help! See what you normally do in a day and add a goal of 500 more steps each day, each week!
  • Horner_Mom
    Horner_Mom Posts: 2
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    Thank you all for your responses. Is there a way to respond to each post individually? I somehow overlooked it if there is.

    @Sarahmfarris, I will check into a pedometer. My daughter got me a Nike Fuelband for Christmas, but they are most compatible with Iphones which I don't have and she thought it had a heart monitor, which it did not so she returned it and is getting me new walking shoes. Somehow I need to learn forgiveness for myself and accept where I am; then possibly I can begin to move forward.

    @quksan, thank you for your prayers.

    @holly, I am starting small goals, walking 20 minutes a day and bike 20 minutes a day. I lost 65, but have only gained 45 of it back so don't quite have 70 to lose, but thank you for the encouragement! Sleep has been elusive as it seems the anxiety kicks in at night and one of my concerted efforts will be getting in bed earlier!
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    It's hard when our babies leave us, isn't it? I dread that day but that means that I raised him right and I will be proud.

    If you want to contact someone directly just click on their name on the left and it will take you to their profile and you can PM (private message) them.

    Hang in there dear. You are in the right place. I would suggest going to the community groups, maybe find one by age, weight to lose, or other commonality and get know solid people that way as well.

    Proud of you for reaching out!
  • luvclay10
    luvclay10 Posts: 26 Member
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    you are no alone in your daily struggle! i totally understand and relate to so much of what you wrote, the great thing is although we feel alone there are soma just like us! so like me all i can do is pay attention, eat right and track!! and who knows what will happen a few months down the road?
  • shafa4321
    shafa4321 Posts: 132 Member
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    will keep u in my prayer
  • SusieQLondon
    SusieQLondon Posts: 4 Member
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    Dear Pam,
    First of all, good for you for losing that 65 pounds and only gaining back 45 pounds after 5 years and a real run of sad events that would have floored anyone! Do something nice for yourself and destress everyday. Whenever I take a walk, it helps lift my mood and make me feel better about myself so like the other posters have said, just concentrate on what you can do for now and not what you used to be able to accomplish. You know what to do to get in shape, you've done it before and I believe in you that you can get healthier again! I also sympathize tremendously about feeling bad about "undoing" what was accomplished (I just gained five pounds over the holidays of the fifteen pounds that I'm sheepish to report it took me one year to lose in the first place!). Never mind; loving and forgiving yourself, picking yourself up and just persisting no matter how long it takes, is the attitude to cultivate. Keep reading and posting, it's a good community here. :flowerforyou: Cheers, Susie.
  • barloski
    barloski Posts: 9
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    Hi Pam. I can relate. I think we are a similar age though I don't have children (I've got a doggie). My weight yo-yo-ed from 19-37 until I chose to be vegetarian and learnt a whole new healthy way of eating. i loved it, found it natural, enjoyable and stopped even THINKING about food. so liberating. Eight years of a wonderful healthy lifestyle, feeling good about myself at optimum weight. Then my mum died. There was a string of traumatic experiences with that and I fell into deep depression and with that came anxiety and poor eating habits. Against my will, my doctor prescribed anti depressants. I needed them! But bang - add 20kg (44lbs), I took myself of the drugs after 6 months. They helped but it's been 3 years and I can't seem to shake the bad eating habits. Until just after Christmas, I drew a line in the sand and decided to really try and go forward. I kicked off by replacing breakfast and lunch with meal replacement shakes. They are yummy and filling and stop me over thinking about what to do, so it's working for me thus far.

    Sorry about this big spiel, but I wanted to let you know how I identify. Particularly with the shock of losing your brother :-( I'm also finding my metabolism has slowed (age/menopause/less active coz of previous grief/depression?)

    Please add me as a friend, I'd love some :-)

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