I'm literally terrified of what I'm about to do tomorrow...
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"While I was walking, this man living down the street I was walking decided to yell out "FASTER FATTY"... That pretty much killed it for me. "
At least you were walking. Which is probably more of a workout than HE was going to get that day...on his way to Burger King..Ordering his strawberry shake and apple pie....
Do what you can.
Do what you do.
Steven0 -
There is no reason you have to use a gym though so if you feel uncomfortable so much it makes you quit then why not just walk as long and as briskly as you can and build it up from there or do something like swimming .. anything you feel more comfortable doing. I am very close to goal weight and I still don't feel comfortable there, forcing myself though only because I have started weight training and don't have what I want at home.
Thanks for responding!
Unfortunately I too have the issue of not having the tools I need at home. Plus with my conditions, I'd need the help of the machines to get what I want done. I'm also lacking a pool and won't do public pools either (and I'm FAR from a germaphobe but where I live, you don't WANT to go anywhere near a public pool, lol). I mean, I'm not saying I absolutely CANT do it from home, but it'd be a million times harder and a million times slower. Besides this anxiety issue I'm currently dealing with, the gym motivates me WAY more than being at home does. I'm a stay at home mom. I am in my house all day everyday unless I have errands to run (which isn't often), or my husband happens to have time off (he works A LOT and he's been working the graveyard shift for 3 years now) we go out (which isn't very often), which probably is why getting out would make so much more of a difference.
I'm truly hoping that it's something that I'll get over once i'm actually in there. Like I mentioned before, I've been to a gym before... It's super strange that I'm feeling so much anxiety this round.0 -
My first 2 months I started working out at home. I did tae bo, step aerobics, and Rockin body. It was a great way for me to get a little in shape before starting at the gym. If you are nervous try something at home first I suppose before spending the money on a gym.0
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I did two years of regular training in a gym, starting at more weight than you currently have. I was afraid people would be unkind, but, frankly, no one is paying attention. They're all staring into the mirrors at themselves while they work out. I relaxed and got on with it.
I'm sure you're right.. The more and more I read and reply to the posts on here, I'm starting to feel a lot better about it, and a lot more silly for feeling so scared about it. :P
Maybe this was all I needed... to just get my worries out and be reassured. So thank you!0 -
Hello I am glad you are feeling more confident and are trying again with more realistic goals. I know that one of the ways to deal with anxiety is to face it but often this is done in small steps first. So maybe it is too soon to try the gym but do some walking first to gradually built up your fitness while working towards going to the gym. Also, although losing weight can be hard work at times, living with overweight can also be very hard, so keep going on this journey, you will get there. Good luck.0
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You Go Girl!!!! Great job making the decision to get out there. My wife was about the same size as you are when she started her journey a couple of years ago. It took a lot of time in the gym, but she was able to do it. Did she feel conspicuous going to the gym?? YUP!! Did she care??? Yup, well at first anyway. Who wouldn't. Going to the gym is kind of like hiring a housekeeper. People hire a housekeeper and then feel the need to clean the house before the housekeeper comes. What's up with that???
People have this way of thinking that says people of size do not belong in the gym. After all, if they wanted to work out, why haven't they started before now? What a bunch of hogwash.
Do unfit people BELONG in the gym? Do sick people BELONG in the hospital? Do broken down vehicles BELONG in the mechanics shop? Does a politician BELONG in a reformatory??? (ok....bad analogy, but aint it true?)
YOU BELONG THERE!!! You DESERVE to be there. Don't let that thing between your ears talk you out of it. You have been playing those same recordings in your head over, and over, and over again. Time to get a new recording.
YOU DESERVE to do it. YOU CAN do it, And YOU DON'T CARE what anyone else thinks. You are not on this journey for them, you are on it for you.
When my wife went to the gym, she DID feel self conscious, but you know what happened? After a few weeks, everyone got used to seeing her. She KEPT COMING BACK!!. After a few more weeks, they kept watching. After a few more, she was getting comments on how much SHE inspired THEM!!! Do WHAT??? Yup. Athletes RESPECT dedication no matter how far your journey will be.
BE THE ONE!!!!
Don't whimp out. YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH!!!!
Face the demons, look them in the eye, and then kick them in the butt.
They won't be gone forever, but they will be gone long enough to workout. Then the next day when you drive up to the gym..(see above paragraph). and the next day, and the next.
Two LBS a week is good. that is 100 LBS in a year. Yup, we are talking years. You didn't put this weight on overnight, You won't take it off before NEXT New Years Day. That's ok. Change your thinking, Change your life.
Blessings,
Steven
Steven... Thank you so much for this... I've printed this out and am taking this with me tomorrow... I have a few things to do tomorrow before hitting the gym, and more than likely i'm going to find myself sitting in my car for a while... This (and the other responses) will be GREAT to read while I sit nervously in my car.
Thank you SO much for the strong encouragement. THIS post right here.. THis is exactly why I feel like this time is going to be so much different.
I've been on MFP for a good two or three years (two different usernames... Lost account info lol) and both times before this time, I did great for a time, but usually after 1 month, i'd fail. I didn't explore the community because honestly, I was afraid. You ALL intimidate me so much! It's because you all seem to know what you're doing... Even though I've attempted weight loss several times before, I feel like I didn't know much at all otherwise I'd never have failed the hundreds of times I have.
But now I feel very differently. You all aren't mean and intimidating. You're the complete opposite. Instead of making me feel like a tub of lard, I feel like just a human being talking to people with a common goal. So thank you. A million times thank you to you and everyone in here.
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"You ALL intimidate me so much! It's because you all seem to know what you're doing..."
(hangs his head) Ha, If she only knew.
Blessings,
Steven0 -
There is no need to be scared, and if you feel yourself slipping into that territory, take a brake and step back for a while. That is so much better for you than just binging and going crazy. I have had problems throughout my whole life, as long as I can remember, with binge eating and what is important to keep in mind is YOU ARE NOT EATING BECAUSE YOU ARE HUNGRY. You are eating because you are experiencing something emotional and upsetting and food is your outlet. Find a new outlet. If you feel overwhelmed by the gym, take a day and stay home and read. Maybe paint, draw, art, whatever. But don't overeat, or try not to, because this will just make you feel even more discouraged. I really know how you feel right now, but remember that we all have your back and we are supporting you and you have come so far. Joining a gym is just another step in your path to your goal. That is so terrific and we are all so proud here at MFP. We all want to see you succeed, and we all know you can. We are rooting for you and we look forward to hearing how it goes. If you ever need to talk or vent, please feel free to message me, okay? Good luck
Much love, Nicole
Thank you so much Nicole. You're so great. I'm so glad we're friends on here.
I actually thought taking a break would be a bad thing... Maybe that falls into the whole setting myself up for failure thing.
I'm always afraid of giving myself "room" to breathe. I feel like if I slack even a tiny bit, I'm going to fail... Since we're MFP friends, you can see my statuses. I'm sure you can recall the posts I had a couple days ago. I had been ill for a while and went over my calorie goal. I'd be lying if I said I didn't freak out. I was so scared that being sick would ruin everything...
What do you do when you're're sick? Or busy? Or just not feeling up to doing ANYTHING. Does that mean you're slipping? Does that mean you're not taking it seriously? That's what I've always argued with myself with.
Even though I've learned from my past mistakes, and learned not to set my expectations so high, maybe discipline is something I need to consider loosening up on too. I've been told many times before that I'm WAY too hard on myself with the whole diet thing. Maybe I should start listening to that.
I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone here with the binge eating. That's a HUGE issue. That and portion control.. Aye... >.>0 -
"You ALL intimidate me so much! It's because you all seem to know what you're doing..."
(hangs his head) Ha, If she only knew.
Blessings,
Steven
LOL well reading through some of the posts in the forums, I'm slowly starting to see that the difficulties I've had and the limited knowledge I have isn't just something I'm going through... That's why I'm glad I decided to just put my fears aside and post the last time I did (this is only my second thread).
I honestly expected my first post to be filled with people yelling at me. Dead serious. lol0 -
Best of luck to you ....... relax, take a deep breath ...... and remember that baby steps work well, you don't have to run a marathon tomorrow :drinker:
That's very true... Even though in my head, I know that's impossible, I do have those stupid thoughts in my head that tell me I need to hit the gym HARD to do any good. But I know I need to take it easy. I'll end up injuring myself and setting myself back even farther if I don't take it slow. Thank you! I'll be repeating that "don't have to run a marathon" thing like a mantra before going in. 0 -
I know how you feel and I am proud of you for even trying. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you go and do something FUN! Sometimes I go with no intention but to stretch and lift small weights...inevitably...since I am there I will get on the elliptical for 30 minutes or so...and maybe walk on the treadmill. Enjoy it and let us know how you did. Cheering you on!
I'll definitely let you all know (probably won't be by tomorrow, but by thursday for sure)!!! Thank you!0 -
When I see large people in the gym, I inwardly cheer for them! Just know that everyone three is cheering you on (pretend if you must but really, the majority are cheering for you). You may want to see a counselor about your anxiety though.
You can do this. Make little lifestyle changes one at a time and stick with it. We don't gain overnight, and fast weight loss typically leads to faster weight gain later. You can do this!!! Now get in there and do it with pride. :flowerforyou:0 -
"You ALL intimidate me so much! It's because you all seem to know what you're doing..."
(hangs his head) Ha, If she only knew.
Blessings,
Steven
ditto steven.
I went to the gym and didnt know what i was doing. I lifted the bar and the plates fell off. scared the piss of the guys next to me.
now i know what those little thingys that clings to the bar are for ( to keep plates from falling off..duh! kage! ).
i admit, I was scared my first time at the gym. i got the stare and the looks, not because I was obese or anything but I was a newbie. but that feeling is probably the same feeling you are feeling but diff situations (blah blah) i know im not making any sense.
just look at thomas edison, he failed 1000x before creating the light bulb and to name a few more successful people.
A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.
Don't be afraid to fail. It's OK. If you're not failing, you're not growing.0 -
all the best. just pretend when you get there that you've already been going a week, and everything has gone well. no one looks - really. i was nervous the first time. but everyone has a first time - and if you stay long enough you'll be the fit one the 'newbie' is scared of! I'm always excited when there's someone in the gym clearly coming to lose weight, coz that's what its there for.
i also worked that I needed to pace myself. three times a week max. start with small goals eg. just 20 minutes at the gym, then get bigger.0 -
What do you do when you're're sick? Or busy? Or just not feeling up to doing ANYTHING. Does that mean you're slipping? Does that mean you're not taking it seriously? That's what I've always argued with myself with.
Hi!
First, may I say WOW and congratulations for being brave enough to join a gym? I just start grinning like a lunatic whenever I see someone with a lot of extra weight who's serious about improving their health.
:flowerforyou:
As for dealing with 'those days', there's nothing wrong with taking a break. If you're worried that one day off will start a bad habit, why not try something like this? It sounds silly but it does help prevent the "ohnoIwreckeditgivingupnow" panic.
- stick three or four post-its on your calendar each month.
- if you need to take an afternoon or a day off, remove one post-it and enjoy the day.
- when you run out of post-its, no more days off until next month.
Looking forward to your triumphant "I DID IT!!" post after tomorrow!0 -
When I see large people in the gym, I inwardly cheer for them! Just know that everyone three is cheering you on (pretend if you must but really, the majority are cheering for you). You may want to see a counselor about your anxiety though.
You can do this. Make little lifestyle changes one at a time and stick with it. We don't gain overnight, and fast weight loss typically leads to faster weight gain later. You can do this!!! Now get in there and do it with pride. :flowerforyou:
When I see large people at the gym I am cheering them on too. Typically I'm thinking....."good for you, you are doing something about it" . I also like to see the weight come off them over the months. Funny, but I'm proud of them for their achievements.0 -
Totally understand what you mean about the fear! Conquer it in little steps. Just walking in is a victory. I will continue to read comments because they're so great.0
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Instead of going to a gym have you tired walking? In June, I started on a weight loss journey, I started out walking 40 minutes a day, after I conquered that, i raised my time to 50 minutes a day, and so on. I have lost 84 lbs as of today, i walk the days i am off work, and the other days i go to Jazzercise. I am the most uncoordinated person in the room, but I enjoy it, and we all have fun. When one of my friends asked me to join, i thought NO WAY! But, now that i have gone a few times, i really enjoy it. I still don't know all the routines, and i mess up, but i laugh at myself. I couldn't have gone in 84 lbs ago, and felt confident. I still have times that i don't feel confident, because I envision myself as the over weight person i was. I hope this helps, you CAN do this. Just put your mind to it!! Even, if you start out walking 20 minutes a day. I had 2 friends that started out walking with me they stopped walking with me, but I perserved, I knew what my goal was. I have 40 pounds to go! Good Luck with your adventure, and If i can help, just Holler!! Darla
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I feel your pain but and have been exactly where you are, weird thing is that once you start going to the gym you realise that most people in there (me included now), take no notice of anyone else. You just end up getting on with what you have to do and ignoring everyone else. When I do see people bigger than me I think "Good on you at least you are off the sofa and trying to do something !!"
I'm still not a "little person", but I'm a fitter fat person than I used to be, and some day I'll be a thin fit person.
So you be brave, leave the sofa and be proud of the fact that you are trying to change !0 -
I know how you feel and I am proud of you for even trying. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you go and do something FUN! Sometimes I go with no intention but to stretch and lift small weights...inevitably...since I am there I will get on the elliptical for 30 minutes or so...and maybe walk on the treadmill. Enjoy it and let us know how you did. Cheering you on!
I'll definitely let you all know (probably won't be by tomorrow, but by thursday for sure)!!! Thank you!
I'm late to this thread, but eager to hear how it went. I feel so motivated by all the great comments people left you. I get a lot of anxiety about the unknown, so can completely understand the terror you felt (even though you had been there before). Sometimes I just reach out to a friend on MFP and write, "wish me luck" or something, then I don't feel like I'm in it alone.
You are right that some threads on here can be filled with meanies. I don't understand why people take time out of their day to put other people down, but I don't need to be friends with them. Have you checked out the Motivation and Support area? That's a great one for feeling inspired too.
Oh, so anyhow, how did it go? What did you do there? And - for some reason - if it didn't go well, please share so people can chime in on ways it might be better in the future. You took the first step and that is the hardest one!0
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