I just get so mad!!!!

kamakazeekim
kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
in Motivation and Support
When people talk about obesity I get so mad I just want to throw something!!!! They talk like everyone who is obese is the same. People act and talk like they think all obese people lack willpower/motivation/self-control/personal responsibility...etc. Maybe I'm just an exception to the rule....but my endocrinologist says that she has a few patients like me so I know that's not true. As a rule, I've always eaten healthy; even during my freshman year of college when most go crazy and eat crappy, I made consistently good choices. I love to stay active and play sports.
Do I eat fast-food sometimes? Sure, you bet I do! But I make the best low-calorie choice I can when I eat out. Do I occasionally eat a doughnut during staff meetings? Yeah, maybe a few times a year. But guess what? Even though my eating habits and general lifestyle is healthier than a good majority of people I'm still obese.

As a kid I was ashamed because I was always taller and more mature liking than my peers. In fourth grade, I had the body of a 18 year old. In high school I was a 3 sport athlete and I had curves which I tried to hide...try running when you have size D breasts and being made fun of and called terrible names. Then in college I met my now husband...I had a bad reaction to birth control and gained almost 60 pounds. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 20 years old. I was on complete bed-rest during the majority of both of my pregnancies. During ALL of this I was staying between 1,200 and 2,000 calories yet I was still gaining weight. After the birth of my youngest I started training to run 5ks and I was strictly eating 1,200 calories and limiting my carbs....still gaining weight. I have been medically supervised for nearly 2 years!!!!!! I'm still gaining weight!!!!

It has only been in the past month, when one of my medications was increased, has the weight gain stopped. I'm actually down 5 pounds. I can't even describe how much blood, sweat and tears I have shed during my life trying to look like every other healthy,normal weight person. Could I push myself harder when I workout...sure, of course I can! Do I want to make excuses like "oh, it's harder for me to workout than skinny people because I'm carrying 100 more pounds than she is"...yes...yes I do want to make that excuse but I don't.

I get furious when people don't believe me when I tell them what I eat and how much I work out...I always get "that look" and I know they think I'm full of crap. I makes me want to just give up and cry. I shouldn't let my weight define who I am...but I do. There are days I have to force myself to walk out of my house because of how ashamed I am of how I look. I know what people think when they look at me. A calorie in IS NOT a calorie out for me and if I hear that one more time I may just punch someone in the face!!!! Doctors...the people who should have answers and be able to help me....don't know what else I can do. Maybe a gastric bypass but I need to lose 20 pounds first....if I could lose 20 pounds on my own though I wouldn't need the surgery now would I?!?!

I'm sorry for the rant...actually...no...I'm not sorry! I keep seeing threads that lump all obese people together and blame them for their problem and say they lack any personal responsibility.....it's NOT true....we're not all the same and I know I'm not alone...there has to be more like me. Don't judge us when you have NO CLUE what our struggle and journey has been like.

Replies

  • pamk1974
    pamk1974 Posts: 4
    Well said! I know exactly how you feel. It can get so annoying to hear, just don't give up!:smile:
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    The thing is the majority of obese people aren't like you. Those with medical conditions that cause it are probably less than a 1% of obese people. I'm afraid there's little point you getting all stressed about it as you can't change what people think you can explain to little though your individual situation and show that you are doing what you can. Good luck
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    1. This would be great in the Blog section.
    2. Don't let what people think get to you. Everyone has assumptions and they are not always right.
    3. Tunnel vision and focus on you.

    In my two years of doing this I learned one thing, eating well and moving more works for me. It does not mean I eat clean. I just make better decisions most of the time. More importantly what works for me is sticking to my calories and trying hard to make my macros. The workouts are fun. I love pushing myself.


    GOOD LUCK, remember ignore the noise and just focus on your goals.
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    I hear ya!!! I am on the wellness committee at work and a skinny coworker said that she didnt like the idea of having a weight loss challenge because thin people like her who havent let themselves go feel left out. Sure I may not have tried as hard as I should have but having a low thyroid makes it extremely hard to lose!!! And even if people have let themselves go, kudos to them for trying! !
  • VastBreak
    VastBreak Posts: 322 Member
    I can relate to so much of what you posted above!!! You are certainly not alone! Sending you a frend request!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    You shouldn't get so mad about it really, b/c people will think what they are going to think no matter the truth. I have known overweight people who are like you and do have medical conditions that do cause weight gain. Truthfully though, the majority of overweight people I have known are overweight b/c of diet, exercise, etc. etc.

    I get this: "You are skinny, b/c you don't have a job." Well, the truth is that I am fit, b/c I eat well and workout pretty hard. I have 2 young kids, and yes, I do not have a job (outside of the home right now). Does it make me mad that people say this? Eh, it used to, but like I said, people are going to think what they are going to think no matter the truth. These people (like the people that annoy you) don't see what I eat on a regular basis; they don't go to the gym with me...so let them believe what they want.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    The thing is the majority of obese people aren't like you. Those with medical conditions that cause it are probably less than a 1% of obese people. I'm afraid there's little point you getting all stressed about it as you can't change what people think you can explain to little though your individual situation and show that you are doing what you can. Good luck

    You are right, only very few people can actually attribute their obesity to endocrinological problems. According to the WHO
    numbers in the US it is three out of every thousand people who have weight problems. And even those often gain more weight than they should due to their health problems, because some of the meds cause an increase of appetite and people feel hungry and believe they should eat.....as it is preached especially here in MFP.
    I had those problems for a long time, but everything was blamed on menopause. Towards the end of that phase of my life I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer; had my thyroid out ( which makes me super hypo thyroid), had radiation and then was put on HR therapy.
    Of course,since it was not perfectly in balance I started to gain weight ( which statistically should not be more than 8 kilos/around 20 pounds ). I also did a lot of self pity eating and during the two years it took to adjust my meds well, I gained another 22 kilos /about 45 pounds.
    With my meds well adjusted I have lost just over 45 pounds since April 2013.
    I can't say anything about others, but for me and a friend in a similar situation once our meds were well adjusted, the same rules as for anyone else applied, because after all science is science......
    I would like to add, that people with genuine endocrinological problems need to see a specialist ( or as in my case four ), need to be well adjusted with their meds ( or have their problem correctly taken care of ) and then they can lose like everyone else. Without that it's very difficult to to be even minimally successful.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    If your weigh gain is related to health issues and not caloric intake, you are the exception, not the rule.

    Also, I believe that gastric bypass surgery works by forcing you to dramatically lower your intake. If it's truly not about calories in/calories out for you, how would this be a solution to your problems?
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    The thing is the majority of obese people aren't like you. Those with medical conditions that cause it are probably less than a 1% of obese people. I'm afraid there's little point you getting all stressed about it as you can't change what people think you can explain to little though your individual situation and show that you are doing what you can. Good luck

    100% truth. Funny this is coming from 2 people who have been more than 100 lbs overweight. I totally own my obesity. I ate too much and didn't move enough, period. That's the way is it 99.9% of the time, sorry.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    A few facts:
    - Only you know all the nuances of your particular circumstances.
    - You don't owe anyone any explanation whatsoever regarding your physical presence.
    - Trying to convince everyone to see your side of the story is futile; there will always be those who know everything better than you do, even when the topic for discussion is your person.
    - Wasting precious time and energy on being angry about this admittedly cold truth is useless; the only person you end up hurting somehow in the process is you. Your focus is averted from the important stuff, to protect you and to make yourself as balanced and healthy as you can possibly be.

    I advise you to focus on yourself and to find out why the approval of others is so important to you. You might find the answer to some things there.
  • mssag
    mssag Posts: 23 Member
    Have you gotten your RMR tested? Assuming your condition lowers your metabolism (which would explain why you're not losing weight), this piece of information would allow you to determine what you need to do to lose weight, wouldn't it?
  • Sarahkov12
    Sarahkov12 Posts: 48 Member
    Many of us have been there. I hit puberty at a young age. My mother who was quite young and always very thin couldn't understand why her young daughter had large hips, thighs, and very large breasts. She classified me as fat. My brother teased me constantly. I was very ashamed of my appearance for most of my life. I was never tall and thin like my brother or petite like my sister. The fact is I am curvy. Yep I have large hips and thighs. I also have triple D breast. But I don't let that stop me anymore. I have run 5K' s, I have completed 40+ mile bike rides for charity, I have even completed the warrior dash mud runs. I'm not at my goal yet but I'm not letting what people think of me hold me back. I know that my weight does not determine my worth or beauty. I won't let the haters stop me and I hope you won't either! :)

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