Question for Brides and Brides to be

iluvsparkles · July 2008

I don't want to get offended before I am sure.. so tell me.

We just got a wedding invite in the mail from a couple of our college friends who live in the same town, who we occasionally go out to dinner with.

I have to preface that My man and her man were Fraternity brothers back in college...so they do have that connection.

The Invite says Josh (no '& guest') and the RSVP says the typical
Yes we will, No we wont be attending,

and then has a spot that says

__/_1_ will be attending. (with the 1 in the second spot hand written in)

Does this mean that they only planned for Josh to come? His name only is written on the back of the RSVP so I am taking this to mean when they were planning the wedding that they only counted him as coming alone.

is the __/__ supposed to be like "2 of 3 invited are coming" or something? Just what does the __/_1_ mean???

does this make since?

Most wedding invites we get say "and guest",or My name also, and since we are not married yet, it is not Mr. and Mrs. Moss yet.

Does it seem to yall like they only invited him because of the 1 in the __/__ will be attending .

If they did invite him alone, he said he will not go. But the point is, I thought that these people were our friends. They know we are a unit!

Maybe I am blowing my top too early because of T.O.M But thats why i'm writing. I know the only way to know is to call them..but I am making Josh do that...and i just wanted to get yalls opinion...

iluvsparkles · July 2008

I don't want to get offended before I am sure.. so tell me.

We just got a wedding invite in the mail from a couple of our college friends who live in the same town, who we occasionally go out to dinner with.

I have to preface that My man and her man were Fraternity brothers back in college...so they do have that connection.

The Invite says Josh (no '& guest') and the RSVP says the typical
Yes we will, No we wont be attending,

and then has a spot that says

__/_1_ will be attending. (with the 1 in the second spot hand written in)

Does this mean that they only planned for Josh to come? His name only is written on the back of the RSVP so I am taking this to mean when they were planning the wedding that they only counted him as coming alone.

is the __/__ supposed to be like "2 of 3 invited are coming" or something? Just what does the __/_1_ mean???

does this make since?

Most wedding invites we get say "and guest",or My name also, and since we are not married yet, it is not Mr. and Mrs. Moss yet.

Does it seem to yall like they only invited him because of the 1 in the __/__ will be attending .

If they did invite him alone, he said he will not go. But the point is, I thought that these people were our friends. They know we are a unit!

Maybe I am blowing my top too early because of T.O.M But thats why i'm writing. I know the only way to know is to call them..but I am making Josh do that...and i just wanted to get yalls opinion...

Reesy · July 2008

From my understanding of weddings (and I planned a lot of them), when the invitation is addressed to only that person and the rsvp card is personalized to that ONE person, than yes they are ONLY INVITING THAT PERSON.

Sorry. Very rude though. :mad:

briblue72 · July 2008

Could yours be sent separately? Maybe to an old address they have in their book? I sent my wedding invitations out in 3 waves, so maybe yours is still on its way?

If you hang out with them, and if the boys are friends, I don't think it's inappropriate to ask in a few days if yours hasn't come yet (and maybe after you've gotten past the T.O.M.) - especially if your boy asks since he has the stronger connection....

LokiFae · July 2008

I don't know too much about it, but could that handwritten 1 mean "and one", meaning you?

If not, then that's a little rude.

If you're not sure, I would have your guy call them and ask if they accidentally overlooked writing your name on the invite. I'm sure she's pretty stressed out and it might have just gotten overlooked, and that's what the handwritten 1 meant.

lotusfromthemud · July 2008

Yes, by technical old-school etiquette, since you're a unit but not married you should get your own invite. By the old ladies rules, it would be more offensive to refer to you as "and guest".

I'd wait a week or so before I got offended.

But, I would be offended. . .that sounds like a bit of a snub if that's the case. Hope it's not.:flowerforyou:

SarahN83 · July 2008

I think that, if you are friends with this couple, you should have your boyfriend call and ask them. It could have just been a mistake. Things get so crazy busy around wedding planning that mistakes are bound to happen. I would get all offended just yet, as it might have been overlooked.

iluvsparkles · July 2008

i kinda hope it was just overlooked...

we aren't very very close with them...but we were planning on inviting them to our wedding...

I just found it odd seeing how they know he is engaged to be engaged..(lol)

I think another reason i was so disheartened is that I've been waiting for the invite to come in the mail, Crissy and I have even talked wedding stuff a little bit when we have all gone out to dinner... SO i was actually expecting the invite and for it to come to Josh alone with just a little bit dissapointing...

Josh is supposed to be calling today to ask..what an awkward thing to have to call and ask!

As for the seperate invite...unfortunately im doubtnig that...theyve known josh longer than they have known me, BUT josh and I have been at the same address for years now..and we just bought a house together, and this couple came to our housewarming, so the chances of a separate invite is very low

i know i am probably blowing this out of proportion, but like i said, TOM will do that to ya!

carmenberard · July 2008

I hate to say it but I ahve done this. Every extra person costs alot fo money so a couple of my family members (although none have significant others) I invited as singles (I wrote the same thing your friend did on my card too).

However, the key difference here is my "single" invites do not have significant others and I had a mutual friend or my dad inform them that we are on a tight budget but really wanted to have them at our wedding so our only choice was to invite them as singles. Equally my dad mentioned if they did have a significant other to call me.

peej76 · July 2008

Sorry, I've never seen an invite like that, so I'm no help, but I tend to overreact so that's probably the way I would take it. I've always seen "and guest" and then just one blank spot for the number of people attending. I really hope they mean to invite you as well, because that would just simply be rude and tacky.

amymeenieminymo · July 2008

Since it was only written out to him and it says _/_ with the one written in, I assume that to mean 1 of 1 will be coming (or not coming).

I would feel slightly offended too, but they may have a very very tight budget so it's possible that unless a couple is married, nobody is allowed dates. I wasn't allowed to bring a date to my brothers wedding, and since the wedding party was all her family and their mutual friends, I was pretty bored. Sure my family was there, but it was pretty lonely walking around with only grandma and aunt Millie to talk to and no date to dance with, etc. But they just didn't have the funds to allow dates, and they could not invite some peoples guest and not others (though as sister of the groom and bridesmaid I would think my rank could have allowed a date, haha)

Sorry this happaned, but try to see if from the brides side....weddings are very expensive and sure you are only one extra person, but maybe there are 20 significant others out there who didn't get invited who are all thinking the same thing. Inviting all 20 of them would add up quickly to lots of $$$. Good luck!

iluvsparkles · July 2008

very good point alvds and carmen.

as far as I can tell, there werent alot of budget restrictions on this particular wedding (and knowing this girl..shes the type to pull out all of the stops) but perhaps I am wrong and that is why they invited him as a single.

I'm am very curious as to if it was an oversight or intentional. They know us well enough to know that we ourselves are getting married and have bought a house, so i feel like, in that case, they would have known to invite both of us or neither of us.. but not just one of us..even if steve and josh were best friends at one time...and i think this is why it hurt my feelings.

i definitely understand there is alot to get done before a wedding and budgets to stick to , but i just have to mention that the both of them are/were on our guest list as a couple, and we ourselves are having a very small wedding and havnt even set a date yet.... So to be left out of a rather large guest list of something you expected to be invited to was kinda a blow...even if i am taking it harder due to the time of the month...

i am thankful to all of you responding..it is helping me rationalize my feelings, because I havent found out the actual truth, and since I am currently not thinking as rationally as usual, AND you are helping me validate my hurt feelings in being left out...since it sounds like yall might have been a little offended if it happened to you... Anyway, I will definitely update yall when Josh talked to them about it...

iluvsparkles · July 2008

well, good news.... apparently they had some family helping with invites...and they had only sent out single invites to the brothers of the fratertnity, and didn't know to take me into account, so anyway...all that tizzy for nothing

Thanks guys for letting me be all PMSy!

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