My friends tell me I'm too skinny and that I look sick

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Replies

  • laceyfowler
    laceyfowler Posts: 127 Member
    If these are friends you want to keep, have a heart to heart with them and let them know you are looking for their support and encouragement ... not the negativity and grief they are currently giving you. If that doesn't work, get new friends.

    This will help me. My parents really bug me calling me anorexic which I am not and whether they are kidding or not it's still discouraging and a word I don't like being called.

    Oh that sucks, I'm sorry you are getting that from your parents! :-( I've had family members voice concern in the past when I've lost weight (and was still at the high end of healthy BMI) because 1) they aren't used to seeing me at a healthier weight and 2) much of my family and their friends are overweight, so their view of what's healthy is skewed... but it would be SO frustrating and hurtful to be accused of having an eating disorder when in reality you're working hard and being healthy in your weight loss! I hope the responses on here have helped you as well as the OP. Keep up the healthy good work!
  • mamacoates
    mamacoates Posts: 430 Member
    If these are friends you want to keep, have a heart to heart with them and let them know you are looking for their support and encouragement ... not the negativity and grief they are currently giving you. If that doesn't work, get new friends.

    This will help me. My parents really bug me calling me anorexic which I am not and whether they are kidding or not it's still discouraging and a word I don't like being called.

    Glad to be of help to you. Sometimes people don't know how insensitive they can be. That old saying, "If you don't have anything good to say ... " should finish with "then keep your mouth shut" for the thick headed folks that just don't get it.

    Good luck to you Supertact, as well as Lauraspberry. Keep doing good things for yourself!!
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    The advice you are getting here is more than likely correct. However, if by chance that isn't you in the picture, or if it is an old picture and you are really much thinner........point being, there really are people out here with disordered eating who need help. Almost all of them say they are fine. Their friends and family are really the only ones who can intervene. All this to say, you are probably just fine, unless you're not, in which case, listen to them.
  • jjennyb4
    jjennyb4 Posts: 1,581 Member
    Same here, I get that comment a lot!!! I especially hate it when it comes from family!!! Don't worry about what other people are saying to you, as long as your happy. :wink:
  • lilred806
    lilred806 Posts: 195 Member
    I agree with other posters that say it is probably just people getting used to your new shape. However I do remember when my husband was training for a marathon he got really thin and because he was doing so much cardio and little strength it made him look a bit hollow. He added in some strength training and it helped greatly.
  • DorothyR87
    DorothyR87 Posts: 113
    Perhaps your friends are feeling a bit jealous? Maybe they see how great you are looking and it makes them feel insecure about themselves. Judging by the picture you do not look like you are starving.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    I don't have any advice because I struggle with people telling me to stop losing weight. I don't know what to say to them except "I'm almost done", which is the honest-to-God truth. I am doing a 30 day clean eating challenge, and after that I really think it will be maintenance time.

    It makes me really uncomfortable when people say stuff like that. Yesterday my FIL told me I looked "bony". WTH, I am 5'4 and 142 lbs, at the UPPER end of my healthy weight range.

    Again, sorry no advice, but you aren't alone.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    It kind of depends on what your current stats are, are you at a healthy BMI and body fat percentage? How much lean body mass do you have? If theses numbers are in the middle of the normal range then you are fine.

    But

    l looked at your food logs, are the last few weeks of recorded food logs accurate? You were only logging about 600-800 calories a day. If that is the real record then you DO need to listen to your family and friends and talk to you clinician about eating disorders.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    It kind of depends on what your current stats are, are you at a healthy BMI and body fat percentage? How much lean body mass do you have? If theses numbers are in the middle of the normal range then you are fine.

    But

    l looked at your food logs, are the last few weeks of recorded food logs accurate? You were only logging about 600-800 calories a day. If that is the real record then you DO need to listen to your family and friends and talk to you clinician about eating disorders.

    I havent been logging correctly the past days lol I'm on a week break so sometimes i log in some meals and then dont log the rest, so yeah :)) I'm definitely eating more than I should though for the past days. That's why I'm not logging it all because I wanna give myself a break since I hitted a plateau and I really restricted for the past couple of months so I'm giving myself a splurge week :)
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    My husband got down to his BMI, and everybody kept telling him he looked gaunt and needed to eat more. We kept reminding people that he was at his appropriate BMI, albeit towards the lower end, but to back off. Now they've finally gotten used to him - although he did put back on a few pounds (I'm not sure how much, but I'm guessing about 10 pounds).

    We've started back on the bandwagon again.
  • kgaudet
    kgaudet Posts: 2 Member
    Right there with you . I'm hearing this too. "How much more weight you gonna loose." Stop loosing you've lost enough. "
    I'm eating I tell them. It gets on my nerves too.
    This too shall pass.
  • toscarthearmada
    toscarthearmada Posts: 382 Member
    You've got to understand that if you've been overweight your entire life, it's weird for your friends to see you slim and fit. I only see my family on the BIG holidays (about 3 times a year) and it was really hard for them to wrap their minds around my rapid weight loss.

    I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. As long as you know you're healthy, keep on doing you!
  • thescrumisfun
    thescrumisfun Posts: 355
    I think you look lean and great! Have you lost a lot of weight? Maybe they're trying to catch up with your bodily changes? Anywho, keep at it :).
  • Slasher09
    Slasher09 Posts: 316 Member
    I have a friend who calls me "skinny mini" every week and says that I am "rail thin" and "dont need to lose more weight." I'm 6 months post-baby and I am a size 12 pants and I weight 160ish at 5'5. I used to be about 145 and I was a size 6. Some people give me a hard time, and others notice the effort and say the occasional "keep it up." I've noticed the ones that don't seem happy are the ones that don't like change in their lives. Some people wont support a positive change because that is a threat on their normalcy. Others won't support because seeing someone healthy and in shape and taking care of themselves makes them feel guilty for not doing the same, and it makes themselves feel better to not have you be that way. The point I'm trying to make, is those problems are with them, not you. As long as you are eating adequately for your body type/frame/weight and activity level, then no worries. If you were a size 2, were eating well and saying you wanted to lose another 15lbs, in that case I would side with the friends lol. Hope that helps!
  • chezjuan
    chezjuan Posts: 747 Member
    I get his from people I met within the last 10 years, who hadn't known me before I weighed 210 lbs and higher. People who knew me when I was younger and at a healthy weight tell me that I look great.

    I know what my goals are, I'm healthy and have energy, so I just ignore the comments about being too thin. I probably eat more than many of the people making the comments because of my activity anyway...
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    I have a friend who calls me "skinny mini" every week and says that I am "rail thin" and "dont need to lose more weight." I'm 6 months post-baby and I am a size 12 pants and I weight 160ish at 5'5. I used to be about 145 and I was a size 6. Some people give me a hard time, and others notice the effort and say the occasional "keep it up." I've noticed the ones that don't seem happy are the ones that don't like change in their lives. Some people wont support a positive change because that is a threat on their normalcy. Others won't support because seeing someone healthy and in shape and taking care of themselves makes them feel guilty for not doing the same, and it makes themselves feel better to not have you be that way. The point I'm trying to make, is those problems are with them, not you. As long as you are eating adequately for your body type/frame/weight and activity level, then no worries. If you were a size 2, were eating well and saying you wanted to lose another 15lbs, in that case I would side with the friends lol. Hope that helps!

    Wow that is a good observation. You're right. Most of my friends dont have the time that I have to try keeping fit and it really might be a peoblem on their side when they see the progress I make, especially in just 6 months. Hats off to you! You look great :) and you have a very cute baby :)
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
    Maybe they're just used to the old you. But if you're doing everything the healthy way you shouldn't be concerned. Just tell them you know what you're doing!
  • ladyeofani
    ladyeofani Posts: 42 Member
    I have to chime in here and let you know that you're not alone! I've lost a lot of weight and changed my life 10000%. My parents kept telling me that I'm way too skinny and I should gain some back. They even went so far as to tell me that I have an eating disorder and I need to seek help. So I went to see a nutritionist and spoke in detail about my eating habits, workout habits, daily routines, ect... I even had the chance to speak to a doctor about this with my mother present. She was told that my blood work did not reflect an eating disorder. I was 100% healthy! The number on my scale doesn't matter so much as what my blood work shows, how I feel daily and how I feel about the number on the scale. That is all! Furthermore, that her perception of "healthy" is what most likely lead to my obesity as a child growing up.

    So like everyone else had mentioned prior.. Do what makes you happy! If you feel great and are proud of your weight loss, don't listen to what anyone has to say. You have to live in your body and no one else.

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