Zombies, Revelations, and Katy Perry...OH MY!

I am stranded in a township, surrounded by zombies. I have been spotted; the brain hungry creatures change their direction and are headed towards me. I hear a voice in my head screaming, “RUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN”!

Let me start from the beginning. I am on a journey for my life. I want, I NEED, to survive. In May of 2012 I made the choice to save myself. I am trying to save myself from the “zombies” the real killer I am running from is obesity. The past year and a half has been amazing. I won’t lie, it hasn’t always been easy, but I have never regretted my decision. Since I started my journey I have experienced so many incredible things, the most valuable ones being belief in myself and the unleashing of my inner athlete. I never realized who I was and what I was truly capable of until I stepped outside of my comfort zone. In this past year and a half I have developed a love for cycling/spinning, was able to conquer a really steep hill (my nemesis) on my bike, I started lifting, discovered I LOVE yoga, recently added MMA training to my routine and cannot get enough, and as of yesterday I started training for my first 5K. Those are just a small handful of the physical accomplishments. Lest we forget the weight I have lost and my overall improved health! As much as I use those to fuel me there cannot be enough said about the mental part of this journey. To be truly successful on this journey I had to figure out who I was, why I was morbidly obese, why I ate, and then heal myself from the inside as well as the outside. I learned that I am not fat, I have fat. The number on the scale doesn’t define me as a woman. I learned accountability. I may not have had control over the first part of my life but I sure as hell am in control of it now. I learned that I love food and that is ok and that I must eat to live, not live to eat. Those realizations didn’t come easy and they were not realized immediately but through a lot of self discovery and facing some truths I didn’t necessarily want to face. Change will change you, simple as that. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to skip the gym and did, how many times I gave into temptation, the times I didn’t hold myself accountable but this journey isn’t about being perfect but about progress. On the other hand I cannot tell you how many times I went to the gym when I didn’t want to, pushed myself to do just one more rep, how many awesome food choices I have made, and how many times I have OWNED my accomplishments. My progress has been slow and steady and unfaltering. I have made mistakes, forgave myself, and just kept pushing forward. For the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be successful on this journey because I already have been. I have lost 105 lbs, dropped at least 8 sizes, more inches than I can remember and though I have 52 lbs to go I KNOW I will reach that goal this year. Don’t ever give up on your dreams because the time is going to pass anyway.

As for those zombies, they are not real (obviously) but are part of a 0-5K app I use on my iPhone to train for my first 5K. The zombies are very symbolic to me. The zombies, to me, represent my old life/old habits/negative self talk. I want to get as far away from them as I can. They will only destroy me if I let them get close. I have never ran before in my life, never been athletic, but it is never too late to be the person you want to be. Yesterday was my first day and I slowly jogged for a total of 8 minutes out of the 40 minutes. I alternated between one minute of walking, 15 seconds of jogging, and then at the end it was 10 minutes of free form walking/jogging. In the last 10 minutes Roar by Katy Perry came on and I found myself watching a montage of the past year, Biggest Loser style. I saw me at 321 lbs, the sadness in my face, the pain (physical and mental) I was in and then flashes of all my accomplishments this past year. I remember standing at the top of my nemesis hill, crying because I FINALLY conquered it. I remember hitting the 25, 50, 75, 100 lbs markers. I was reminded of overcoming my hate of the elliptical to actually enjoying it, pushing 130 lbs on the leg press, and all those light bulb moments! How could I forget those progress pictures? They are worth a thousand words! I saw my progression in yoga. Then I was imagining my future. I could see me doing mitt work in an octagon, running on the beach with my family, that yellow polka dot bikini I want to wear this summer, Survivor Mud Run, the dream wedding dress, a LONG life, etc. “I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter … I am a champion and you are going to hear me roar ... I went from zero to my own hero … “. I ended my first training session with tears and the most overwhelming sense of pride in myself and all I have accomplished … ME! I did those things! I am a champion! I became my own hero in that moment!

I cannot post a blog about my success without thanking several people. Kyle has always been my biggest supporter this entire time. He believed in me and loved me long before I believed in and could love myself. Last night while we were dozing off to bed he told me how proud of me that he is and that means more to me than any number on a scale! My girls inspire me every day to keep going because I can see how my journey has affected them. They are eating healthier, are active, and always there to say “good job Mom” when I finish my workouts. They will not know a life of obesity. My mother-in-law is another. She is just incredible. She shares my story with anyone she can; she builds me up and is always so encouraging. My girls Kristy and Lolo - they have listened to me *****, whine, moan, as much as they have been to celebrate with me. All my friends here THANK YOU! I am inspired daily with your support and your own journeys.