Disheartened

TheKea · January 2014

I don't really need any advice on how to lose weight, I just want to vent a little. New Year week I was brutally depressed, but I lost my appetite so it didn't affect my weight loss. That's the first time that depression has actually made me eat less - usually I eat more. After I got through the worst of it I was back on track eating healthy, starting to exercise. But then I got into this really really mild funk.
I feel mostly ok, but I just have this little black cloud following me around, dulling the colours in the world, and taking my motivation with it. It's like a irritating little voice telling me to sit down and eat a pizza. For the last week I've just been giving in to it, too tired to argue. So I've gained back most of the weight I had lost over the last month, and I'm bummed. I'm trying to eat right today, but that voice is still there. I can't seem to have just a little of something to quiet the craving, whenever I try that I end up in a binge situation. I'm going to try my best to do this right but I just get so fed up when I have a good week, then undo it all the following week. It gets me in to a negative thought pattern of "what's the point?"
I lost 24 kg in a year, but I've been sitting around this 94/95/96/97kg mark for 6 months and I'm getting so frustrated, because I know that it's because of my choices. It's not because of genetics, it's not because of a poor metabolism or any of those other tired excuses, it's because I eat too much. And that makes me feel like ****.

indianarunner76 · January 2014

It can be a relief to vent. Now what I would suggest is to just try and win the day. Small things lead to greatness. Sooner or later if you can just win the day it will add up to weeks then months. Good luck !!

SLLRunner · January 2014

Welcome, Kea.

Venting helps. I am sorry for what you are going through right now. I suggest a visit to your doctor for your depression, though.

As for the rest, one day at a time. weigh, measure, and log your food, work to stay within that calorie deficit, see if you can get some exercise to increase those endorphins (for mood elevation not weight loss), Just do what you can each day.

sue_stef · January 2014

I'm sorry you are feeling down
you could have seasonal affect disorder
a lot of people get it
talk to your doctor about the depression and take care of yourself

lemmyhead · January 2014

Hey! Sorry to hear you're feeling down, I had a similar experience a couple of months ago...during the winter (in my part of the world). I went to my doctor, who suggested I look carefully at cutting out processed foods, and she also gave me some Vitamin D tablets.

It turned out I had been eating something regularly that contained trace amounts of gluten (I was at that point 90% gluten free). I cut that out, and took the Vitamin D for 6 weeks through the worst of winter, and noticed they both had an amazing effect.

I'm not saying it's the same for anyone else out there, but maybe think about assessing and monitoring the food you are eating with a mood diary as well as logging it in your food diary. Experiment with cutting out certain foods that are known to have effects on people, and take note of how you feel when you restrict them from your diet. I have learnt that eating gluten makes me seriously depressed, and it can last up to a week even from just eating some fries that have a gluten based coating or flavouring. It might take a few days or even a few weeks to figure it out, but I personally believe avoiding some foods is better than being so depressed I can't get out of bed.

Hope you figure it out :-) Feel free to add me if you want!

TheKea · January 2014

Thanks everyone, today's looking a bit brighter now. I think the venting helped.

I've had major depression since a young age. I no longer take medication for it because these days the episodes are few and far between and also because I've become adept at coping with it. For a long time I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and medication got me through that, but nowadays I'm older and wiser and when it happens I know it's temporary.
I use to feel guilty for being depressed and feel like I was ungrateful and selfish. Now I've learned to be kind to myself when it happens and it doesn't overwhelm me quite so much. In saying that if it ever got back to the point where I couldn't function properly, couldn't get out of bed or be a good parent, I would be back on the medication in a heartbeat.

What I have now, just seems to be a depression hangover, not really depressed, but just vaguely melancholy - just enough to be a nuisance. Getting off my chest like this has helped though. I do think the weather has an impact on my mood, we're in mid-Summer right now, but it's been the darkest gloomiest summer I can remember - this time last year we were at the beach every weekend, this year we're inside trying to find rainy-day activities. Vitamin D might not be a bad idea.

genann · January 2014

I'm sorry you're going thru this and I hope you feel better soon. I really do believe that the weather does have some control of our moods and if you've had depression before it can affect you even more. Try you best to get out of the house and be with your friends or family or even go for a walk. Being cooped up in the house is what gets to me the most. Where I'm at we're in our coldest gloomiest month, temps very cold and lots of snow. I've been feeling really down and then today we actually had a day of 50 degree temps and sunshine and my mood changed dramatically. Now tomorrow its supposed to be very cold again. I'm just waiting for spring to come!

Turntec22 · January 2014

What supplements do you take? Keep in mind that exercise is great for endorphins and will usually help with anxiety / depression. It helps me. Plus cut out cafeine and booze. At least until you feel good again. Therapy wouldn't hurt either.

Disheartened

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