Self Hatred and Weightloss ?

donyellemoniquex3
donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
in Motivation and Support
First off, let's get this out of the way

TRIGGER WARNING
T R I G G E R W A R N I N G
T-R-I-G-G-E-R-W-A-R-N-I-N-G

Okay, now back on topic. Do you ever feel a form of self hatred for the little things ?
"OMFG I'm such a cow. Over by 400, are you kidding me ? Double time tomorrow."
"EW I look so disgusting in that video promo for the studio"
"Just one more mile, just 100 more calories, just 15 more minutes. Then I can go home"
-looks in mirror- "dafaq are you looking at cow ? MOO ! MOO ! MOO ! Get back in the barn... OH WAIT, your fat *kitten* wouldn't even fit through the doors"
"NASA should have made you a planet, cause you're so huge"

Replies

  • usamantha23
    usamantha23 Posts: 11 Member
    negative self talk is my speciality. BUT, what helps me is to think about it like this: you didn't gain the weight in a day, and you are not going to lose it in a day. But the good thing is that you are trying and making changes. Trying to get healthy is so much easier with a positive state of mind.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    No I don't feel like that. Really ever. I am glad. I am sad that others do feel that way and say those things to themselves :-(

    The stuff I do feel is more like...

    "oh why bother doing all of this, I look okay, at least a lot better than I used to"
    "I'm not trying to look like a model"
    "My husband was fully attracted to me 70 lb heavier so why am I still worried about losing more?"

    or

    "I'll just not shave my legs today"
    "Why bother flossing? I have good teeth"
    "I'll save this dress for a special occasion and wear the ratty old sweater and saggy jeans today"
    "I shouldn't spend the money on great moisturizer, do I really need that?"

    I do want to continue on this path of healthier habits and a healthier me but sometimes I get a little lazy and lack motivation. I work on being more loving to myself and taking pride in my body and appearance. It mostly comes easily - but again I get complacent and/or lazy!
  • lmhbuss
    lmhbuss Posts: 282 Member
    The only thing I tend to get pissed at myself about is lack of discipline. I look the way I look...I don't hate me, but I do want to change the appearance of me a bit. I do however get mad if I don't pre-plan/pre cook my meals because I know that I need to. I get mad if my run doesn't go as well as I think it should...then I yell at myself like a gym teacher. "C'mon Buss! You owe me two more minutes of running before you get to walk!"
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
    you know when your self talk goes bad you have to fight it. I try to focus on my accomplishments and goals, that helps.
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    Funny you should post this - it's what I blogged about earlier today. Sure do, and had to think about what all is REALLY going on. That let me figure out how to be positive in a realistic way. Because I'm not small, and I'm not going to drop this weight in the next week or even month.
    http://bit.ly/1msviuD
  • bulldogbee
    bulldogbee Posts: 7 Member
    I've been fighting my demons like that for a long time, and it really sucks. You have good days, and you'll have bad. For example, today was a really bad day for me, and even though I got my workout in and ate healthy, I've wanted to cry all day because of how I look and how much I isolate myself.

    Just know that tomorrow is a new day, and you'll be alright. Listen to some music, text some friends, youtube some adorable cat or dog videos. Take everything step by step when things get hard, and don't be afraid to cry everything out. You're not alone. This is what I tell myself when I have bad days like today. Hope it helps.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,629 Member
    Never !

    There's so many other things out there to hate ....... why spend time & energy hating yourself .......

    Be kind to yourself instead :heart:
  • ArmyStrong1995
    ArmyStrong1995 Posts: 8
    Too much, sadly. I've been doing it for over 4 years (stupid depression, just go away) and it's a VERY tough cycle to break. I'm my own worst critic, and I tend to twist things other people say as compliments into something else completely. I have a tendency to overwork myself, but thankfully have not developed an ED.

    Slowly I am able to tell myself positive things, but it's always in the back of my head. Hopefully one day it'll be gone.<3
  • silenceinspace
    silenceinspace Posts: 142 Member
    First off, let's get this out of the way

    TRIGGER WARNING
    T R I G G E R W A R N I N G
    T-R-I-G-G-E-R-W-A-R-N-I-N-G

    Okay, now back on topic. Do you ever feel a form of self hatred for the little things ?
    "OMFG I'm such a cow. Over by 400, are you kidding me ? Double time tomorrow."
    "EW I look so disgusting in that video promo for the studio"
    "Just one more mile, just 100 more calories, just 15 more minutes. Then I can go home"
    -looks in mirror- "dafaq are you looking at cow ? MOO ! MOO ! MOO ! Get back in the barn... OH WAIT, your fat *kitten* wouldn't even fit through the doors"
    "NASA should have made you a planet, cause you're so huge"

    I tend to think that negative self-talk is a good sign of extremely negative self-image and very low self-esteem. I struggle with both of these things every single day, and simply being told "focus on the positive" has never been very effective for me.

    This may not help either, but I try to remind myself of how far I've come. I try to be rational (am I actually doing my best, or reasonably close to it?).

    There's also an oft-cited quote from Mumford and Sons; it reads as cheesy at first because it's so often used, but I find it to be really true:

    "In these bodies we will live,
    in these bodies we will die.
    Where you invest your love,
    You invest your life."

    If you hate yourself, I think it says a lot about where you invest your life.
  • mxmkenney
    mxmkenney Posts: 486 Member
    No I don't feel like that. Really ever. I am glad. I am sad that others do feel that way and say those things to themselves :-(

    The stuff I do feel is more like...

    "oh why bother doing all of this, I look okay, at least a lot better than I used to"
    "I'm not trying to look like a model"
    "My husband was fully attracted to me 70 lb heavier so why am I still worried about losing more?"

    or

    "I'll just not shave my legs today"
    "Why bother flossing? I have good teeth"
    "I'll save this dress for a special occasion and wear the ratty old sweater and saggy jeans today"
    "I shouldn't spend the money on great moisturizer, do I really need that?"

    I do want to continue on this path of healthier habits and a healthier me but sometimes I get a little lazy and lack motivation. I work on being more loving to myself and taking pride in my body and appearance. It mostly comes easily - but again I get complacent and/or lazy!

    We should be friends. In the past week I have literally had every thought you listed here! But isn't complacency the worse kind of sabotage?
  • lebbyloses
    lebbyloses Posts: 133 Member
    I do that. It's actually pretty motivational in the sense of getting me to comply with my plan, but I've been actively trying to counter it with positive self-talk. I think of it as the ghost of high-school me trying to suck me into her sad, disordered life. But I've outgrown her. It's a struggle, though. Pie know it's cheesy, but it helps to actually tell yourself nice things, like in sentences. Heck, post some bragging to your friends list. Also, I personally have getting harder and harder on myself as I slim, I think because I've put in so much effort and still look pretty chubby to my own eyes. So I decided to choose an objective measurement (in my case I went to the Y and got my body fat measured) with a goal decided upon ahead of time. Turns out it's time for me to maintain. Which...I can retire that sad little girl again. I hope. So i don't know if that kind of tng would be good for you, but it helps me to have a metric you can take as an outside authority to overrule the bad vibes in your head.
  • erethral
    erethral Posts: 18
    All the time :( i'm trying to defeat it but it's really hard or sometimes I feel like I'm too fat and no matter what I do, i'll always be this way.
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    Yes, all the time. It is just a poison to yourself to think that way. I make a conscious effort every single day to try to think positively about myself. Just remember loving your body will get your farther than hating it will. Don't let your mind push you around!
  • Oliviamarie05
    Oliviamarie05 Posts: 528 Member
    I used to be really bad with the negative self talk. I've come to a point where I can feel confident in a few things but when I see no results over a period of time I start to nit pick everything about myself.

    I must have over eaten. How? What did I stuff in my mouth that I missed?
    I hate my arms. I can't wear sleeveless shirts, my arms are just atrocious.
    My thighs are HUGE!
    My husband may be attracted to me but how could he possibly be? I'll never be where I want to be and will never be good enough to be seen as a beautiful woman. Husband must be blind as well as color blind.

    When I have days like this I go for a run, shower, get my hair done, buy a new outfit and remember I've lost 42 pounds. I know I have a ways to go, but hot damn I look good now and I need to remind myself every once in a while. It also helps that I have a husband who can't keep his hands off me.

    My suggestion? Start finding things you love about yourself. It doesn't have to be physical. Celebrate all your amazing qualities and eventually you will learn to love yourself now which will help you get to where you want to be in a healthy manner.:flowerforyou:
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
    Let me tell you from experience. You HAVE GOT to love yourself now, regardless of how you "think" you look. Even though I've lost 120lb's, my attitude towards myself hasn't changed. I know I'm much smaller than I used to be, but still when I see photos of myself, I still find something wrong with how I look. Everyone else tells me I look fine, I look great, whatever. I still find flaws, and think I look gross. It REALLY gets me depressed sometimes. Your attitude and how you treat yourself, and view yourself now, does not change with weight loss. If you are verbally abusing yourself now, you will do it after your weight loss as well. It's all about how you value yourself, and your self worth, and self esteem. People may put you down, and maybe that's why you feel that way about yourself, but seriously, people will always find a way to try to bring you down. They will find flaws in perfection just to bring you down. I think it's ok that you don't view yourself as perfect, but just know that the extra body fat does not define you as a person. You are a beautiful person, regardless of a little extra body fat. You can lose the fat, it just takes a little work and dedication, but you can't keep hating yourself, or how you look. Now chin up! Let's all say it together...."I'm not perfect, and that's ok!" Lol. ;)

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