I'm literally terrified of what I'm about to do tomorrow...
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I know how you feel and I am proud of you for even trying. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you go and do something FUN! Sometimes I go with no intention but to stretch and lift small weights...inevitably...since I am there I will get on the elliptical for 30 minutes or so...and maybe walk on the treadmill. Enjoy it and let us know how you did. Cheering you on!
I'll definitely let you all know (probably won't be by tomorrow, but by thursday for sure)!!! Thank you!0 -
When I see large people in the gym, I inwardly cheer for them! Just know that everyone three is cheering you on (pretend if you must but really, the majority are cheering for you). You may want to see a counselor about your anxiety though.
You can do this. Make little lifestyle changes one at a time and stick with it. We don't gain overnight, and fast weight loss typically leads to faster weight gain later. You can do this!!! Now get in there and do it with pride. :flowerforyou:0 -
"You ALL intimidate me so much! It's because you all seem to know what you're doing..."
(hangs his head) Ha, If she only knew.
Blessings,
Steven
ditto steven.
I went to the gym and didnt know what i was doing. I lifted the bar and the plates fell off. scared the piss of the guys next to me.
now i know what those little thingys that clings to the bar are for ( to keep plates from falling off..duh! kage! ).
i admit, I was scared my first time at the gym. i got the stare and the looks, not because I was obese or anything but I was a newbie. but that feeling is probably the same feeling you are feeling but diff situations (blah blah) i know im not making any sense.
just look at thomas edison, he failed 1000x before creating the light bulb and to name a few more successful people.
A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.
Don't be afraid to fail. It's OK. If you're not failing, you're not growing.0 -
all the best. just pretend when you get there that you've already been going a week, and everything has gone well. no one looks - really. i was nervous the first time. but everyone has a first time - and if you stay long enough you'll be the fit one the 'newbie' is scared of! I'm always excited when there's someone in the gym clearly coming to lose weight, coz that's what its there for.
i also worked that I needed to pace myself. three times a week max. start with small goals eg. just 20 minutes at the gym, then get bigger.0 -
What do you do when you're're sick? Or busy? Or just not feeling up to doing ANYTHING. Does that mean you're slipping? Does that mean you're not taking it seriously? That's what I've always argued with myself with.
Hi!
First, may I say WOW and congratulations for being brave enough to join a gym? I just start grinning like a lunatic whenever I see someone with a lot of extra weight who's serious about improving their health. :flowerforyou:
As for dealing with 'those days', there's nothing wrong with taking a break. If you're worried that one day off will start a bad habit, why not try something like this? It sounds silly but it does help prevent the "ohnoIwreckeditgivingupnow" panic.
- stick three or four post-its on your calendar each month.
- if you need to take an afternoon or a day off, remove one post-it and enjoy the day.
- when you run out of post-its, no more days off until next month.
Looking forward to your triumphant "I DID IT!!" post after tomorrow!0 -
When I see large people in the gym, I inwardly cheer for them! Just know that everyone three is cheering you on (pretend if you must but really, the majority are cheering for you). You may want to see a counselor about your anxiety though.
You can do this. Make little lifestyle changes one at a time and stick with it. We don't gain overnight, and fast weight loss typically leads to faster weight gain later. You can do this!!! Now get in there and do it with pride. :flowerforyou:
When I see large people at the gym I am cheering them on too. Typically I'm thinking....."good for you, you are doing something about it" . I also like to see the weight come off them over the months. Funny, but I'm proud of them for their achievements.0 -
Totally understand what you mean about the fear! Conquer it in little steps. Just walking in is a victory. I will continue to read comments because they're so great.0
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Instead of going to a gym have you tired walking? In June, I started on a weight loss journey, I started out walking 40 minutes a day, after I conquered that, i raised my time to 50 minutes a day, and so on. I have lost 84 lbs as of today, i walk the days i am off work, and the other days i go to Jazzercise. I am the most uncoordinated person in the room, but I enjoy it, and we all have fun. When one of my friends asked me to join, i thought NO WAY! But, now that i have gone a few times, i really enjoy it. I still don't know all the routines, and i mess up, but i laugh at myself. I couldn't have gone in 84 lbs ago, and felt confident. I still have times that i don't feel confident, because I envision myself as the over weight person i was. I hope this helps, you CAN do this. Just put your mind to it!! Even, if you start out walking 20 minutes a day. I had 2 friends that started out walking with me they stopped walking with me, but I perserved, I knew what my goal was. I have 40 pounds to go! Good Luck with your adventure, and If i can help, just Holler!! Darla
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I feel your pain but and have been exactly where you are, weird thing is that once you start going to the gym you realise that most people in there (me included now), take no notice of anyone else. You just end up getting on with what you have to do and ignoring everyone else. When I do see people bigger than me I think "Good on you at least you are off the sofa and trying to do something !!"
I'm still not a "little person", but I'm a fitter fat person than I used to be, and some day I'll be a thin fit person.
So you be brave, leave the sofa and be proud of the fact that you are trying to change !0 -
I know how you feel and I am proud of you for even trying. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you go and do something FUN! Sometimes I go with no intention but to stretch and lift small weights...inevitably...since I am there I will get on the elliptical for 30 minutes or so...and maybe walk on the treadmill. Enjoy it and let us know how you did. Cheering you on!
I'll definitely let you all know (probably won't be by tomorrow, but by thursday for sure)!!! Thank you!
I'm late to this thread, but eager to hear how it went. I feel so motivated by all the great comments people left you. I get a lot of anxiety about the unknown, so can completely understand the terror you felt (even though you had been there before). Sometimes I just reach out to a friend on MFP and write, "wish me luck" or something, then I don't feel like I'm in it alone.
You are right that some threads on here can be filled with meanies. I don't understand why people take time out of their day to put other people down, but I don't need to be friends with them. Have you checked out the Motivation and Support area? That's a great one for feeling inspired too.
Oh, so anyhow, how did it go? What did you do there? And - for some reason - if it didn't go well, please share so people can chime in on ways it might be better in the future. You took the first step and that is the hardest one!0 -
You're too focused on where you are, instead of where you are going.
Whenever you feel bad, or feel fear, turn your focus toward where you are going. A great body. A long life to live with your children and grandchildren. The physical abilities to really LIVE life to the fullest.
Everyone has to start somewhere. But where you start is only temporary. The key is to START.
You can do it.
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How did you go? :flowerforyou:
I had that anxiety too the last time I signed up at the gym. It's at my work so not only was I worried about looking like a complete tool but I had the added stress of it being in front of my colleagues! But I went in anyway, gave it a red hot go and in the end I actually inspired a couple of others to join up too!
I let my membership lapse since then because I can work out at home now instead, but it's nice to know that I conquered that fear and can do it again some day if I want to.
Best of luck with your gym adventures! xx0 -
Sorry it took so long to update you guys!!! It has been HECTIC to say the least around here. Sadly, first off, there was an issue with my card (I'm with the worst bank in existence right now, but am switching ASAP), THEN I wasn't allowed to even work out until I went through the orientation yesterday. I'm in a program with my insurance (its like medicaid) which makes it so the cost of my gym membership is at a SERIOUSLY discounted price for both me AND my husband, so its required that I go to not only the member orientation but the equipment orientation. Anyway, I fulfilled the requirements and started immediately afterward...
I have to say that you all are AMAZING and such awesome people. Thank you so much for all your great tips, tricks, advice and personal experiences.
I was literally near throwing up the entire drive there up until I actually talked to the guy at the front desk. He actually noticed that I was terrified cause I was shaking and my words were ALL over the place... I was a hot mess, for real.
Anyway, he was SO kind and reassured me that unlike big gyms like LA Fitness and Golds Gym/Platinum Fitness, they're a NO INTIMIDATION zone. People that want to get away from the mean judgmental stares and loud grunting men who drop their equipment to sound big and bad, come here to this gym. He even set me up with an appointment with a personal trainer. The sessions aren't free but he said they're always more than willing to at least give some advice and point you in the right direction. I haven't met with him yet, but until then I'm kinda just doing the recumbent bike (which is nice and easy on my joints) and treadmill.
SO in the end you were all right... Once I got in there, it was fine. I don't get any sort of anxiety really. I'm still scared to fail, but at least my fears aren't with the gym, it's with myself. Hopefully sticking to the gym will help me get some confidence that I so desperately need and that fear will slowly start to dissipate as I see that I'm actually getting results.
Thank you all again for being so great!!0 -
OK I wanted to reply to this because maybe my experience might help.
I am currently 389lbs down from 434lbs - I have been counting calories since July of last year and in December I started working out at the gym.
To give you a quick rundown of my 'history' - I have tried every diet known to man and had gotten to the point where I was literally ready to die. I could not see a way out of where I was and knew that at some point surgery was going to be my only option left.
That was until I found Overeaters Anonymous - it literally saved my life! I don't mean that flippantly or glibly, I literally wouldn't be where I am today without it.
Anyway - OA changed my whole relationship with food - it gave me the healthy attitude towards food that I'd always dreamed of....the kind of relationship that I seen normal people have.
So, with that sorted out, the weight started coming off.......slow! I am averaging 1.5lbs per week which I have to say can be very frustrating. As someone who has done every diet known to man kind and always averaged around a 3lb weight loss every week it can be very hard to see it come off slowly. However, it's a trick of the mind....1.5lbs per week is exactly what I am aiming for - a slow steady weight loss.
Now in December, I decided that since I'd tackled my food issues, I really needed to get fit. I used to have such negative connotations with the gym, you have no idea! I had a life time of avoiding it because I had failed so much at it. But after starting OA, my whole mindset changed and I became a new person - my feelings towards the gym completely changed.
It's only been 2 months since starting the gym, but I LOVE it - I look forward to it now and can tell you that since December, I have still continued to lose weight on the scale SLOWLY, but the inches........boy the inches are coming off! I've lost (from memory as I don't have my iPad with me), 5 inches off my stomach, 4 inches off my gut/belly, 3 inches off my thighs, 1 inch off my arms (bingo wings are hard to get rid of lol) and 4 inches off my bust!
I cannot stress to you the difference the gym has made to my life - it is so worth it and it has literally changed my whole shape in such a short period of time.
Anyway - I know that's a lot of information and really, just take from it whatever helps.
Just remember to take everything one day at a time - the minute you start worrying about tomorrow and whether you 'might' fail, is the minute you start believing it. You can only tackle what today throws at you, so just go with that!
OK....I'm rambling now! lol.
Blessings x0 -
I'm so happy to read your update. Good for you!
You know, many years ago, I decided to join a gym in a new city where I lived. They also required an orientation with a trainer and instructions to the equipment. I was soooo annoyed by that, I think beause I didn't want any "attention" from anybody and probably because i had no real intention of actually going (subconsciously, of course). Anyway, it turned out to be one of the best gyms I'd ever been a member of, BECAUSE of that orientation. In the years since then, I have joined gyms that had no orientation and I felt lost with the equipment, which made me feel very intimidated. I looked back and became thankful for that gym and that orientation.0 -
I just wanted to chime in and add my support and my congratulations.
You've taken the first step... which is often the hardest one of all.
You haven't had the success you were looking for so far, but remember... a failure is only a failure if you let it remain that way. If you continue to try, then eventually, the failures will just be a part of the journey that you took to your ultimate success.
You can do this!
It isn't easy, it isn't instant and perhaps the hardest part are the people who don't get it and don't support you.
I'll never understand why people feel it is okay to make comments like the "FASTER FATTY" that you mentioned... what makes them so mean?
But, please realize that most of the people you will meet in the gym (or if you do venture back outside and walk or run regularly) will be silently pulling for you to succeed. Once they see you coming back a few times and realize that the recognize you, you might start to get some nods of recognition, and you certainly will get lots of silent support.
Will there be jerks and idiots who might heckle you along the way? Unfortunately, there probably will be. This may be the difference between thin skinned/thick skinned, but I just choose to not pay any attention to their negativity. What good will it serve?
Instead, I choose to pay attention to all the support that is out there if you dare to allow people to see you.
I was severely morbidly obese for nearly 20 years (from about 22 to about 42)... and for most of that time, I was so afraid of failure that I never even tried to get healthy. When I finally did get the courage to try, I found that people who didn't even know me were more supportive than I could imagine.
For me, my fitness exercise of choice turned out to be running... and I've been so supported by the running community that I can't describe it.
I'm going to share with you a blog post I read first when I was about 4 months into my new, healthier lifestyle a couple of years ago. It is written from the perspective of a man speaking to a woman... but if you search it out on the internet you will see that the message is universal - those who have already achieved physical fitness (especially those that came from an unfit background) generally have TREMENDOUS respect for those who are early on their journey... because they know what it takes and they truly, TRULY admire the effort you are putting out.
You can find the original if you google "flintland fat girl", and I recommend you do that because most of the comments are inspiring as well, and well worth the read.
"Hey Fat Girl. Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you."
And I bow to you as well... I wish you all the success in the world in your journey.
There is a lot of support here if you are able to open yourself up and receive it. Know that there are many here that are pulling for you.
I said it already... you've taken the hardest step... just put one foot in front of the other and you'll get to where you are going... it almost certainly won't be a straight line, but it is a rewarding journey worth taking.
Namaste.
Ted0 -
When I see large people in the gym, I inwardly cheer for them! Just know that everyone three is cheering you on (pretend if you must but really, the majority are cheering for you). You may want to see a counselor about your anxiety though.
You can do this. Make little lifestyle changes one at a time and stick with it. We don't gain overnight, and fast weight loss typically leads to faster weight gain later. You can do this!!! Now get in there and do it with pride. :flowerforyou:
This is exactly what I was thinking. I want to go over and give them a fist bump, cause I used to be a lot bigger and I know how that feels. It sounds from your posts that you struggle with emotional eating, so I want to recommend a book that helped me tremendously: the Beck Diet Solution. It has helped me work through a lot of my emotional ties to food (although it is still a work in progress).
And ditto on the "not overnight" mentality. The time will pass anyway--do you want to be the same (or even heavier), or smaller in a year? You keep at it and keep making those changes, and you will be smaller.0 -
Have you ever considered just walking and counting cals until you feel confident enough for the gym?0
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I missed this post the first time around - Hooray for going! I am so glad to read that you went through with it and that it was a positive experience. :happy:0
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Just remember most of the people at the gym will be in basically the same boat you are in; terrified and unhappy with the way they look and/or just trying to get healthy. You can run into the occasional A-hole anywhere, but generally people at the gym are friendly if you talk to them, but mainly just want to get their workouts in and go home.0
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