Trying to hang on to the wagon

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ThePinkPenguin
ThePinkPenguin Posts: 138
in Motivation and Support
I have been on this journey for about a year now. The first 5-6 months were great. No I didn't lose weight instantly or expect to, but I was losing at a steady pace, exercising regularly and feeling more confident as my clothes fit better and I started to see changes in my appearance.

But then in late July/early August, everything came undone. In August I went on vacation to stay at my sister's while she went away. She lives in NYC, and anyone who knows anything about NYC knows that there is a ton of good food around. I just couldn't say no to all the options and didn't log that whole week. I only came home up less than a pound and was happy with that, but I didn't really manage to get back on track. For the last several months, I have been up and down the same few pounds. 196 was my lowest weight and then I gained six pounds over Christmas. I have only lost three of those since the holiday, and meanwhile it seems like everyone else who gained Christmas weight has seen it just melt off. My sister is doing T25 and bragging that her holiday weight is already gone plus an extra.

I have family members who are also trying to lose weight and they are all doing great. My dad has lost about 40-50 pounds maybe more. My sisters run 5Ks with him and my younger sister (the same one doing T25) was in a Dirty Girl or a Tough Mudder. (I don't remember which one.) I tried to do Couch to 5K and couldn't stand the pressure it put on my knees and the side cramps it gave me. My cousin's girlfriend dropped 30 pounds in six months and gets tons of compliments like "gorgeous" and "beautiful." Meanwhile, I have only lost about 20 pounds total in the year since I started this and I am really angry at myself for not being disciplined enough to lose more when others have dropped twice that in the same time period.

I am looking for a new job right now, and while I am having phone interviews so my weight isn't in play, I cringe to even think of the day I have to have an in-person meeting. I have seen all the studies about how thinner/more attractive people earn more money, get generally treated better and have an easier time looking for work. I try to do my nails, wear makeup and make sure I have nice clothes, but I worry that an employer will look right past my skills and hire the thinner person who comes in if that person is equal to me in terms of ability.

I am thinking of quitting until I can re-educate myself and find a new focus, but I also worry about gaining back what I did lose and having to give up all the new clothes I was able to buy. I just don't feel that great right now, and it seems like everyone around me is so much more fit, more attractive and making better progress. I try to make good choices, but it seems like one day out of town or one weekend comes and I pig out and feel bad later.

So frustrating...what can I do?

Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Don't try to get back on the wagon. It's impossible. Instead, realize the truth: there is no wagon. Then you will see that it is not about "getting on" or "falling off," only yourself. It is your life to live how you choose. If you make a bad choice, make recompense, then try again.

    Understand this, and choose well. :flowerforyou:
  • Murf2014
    Murf2014 Posts: 12 Member
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    Don't quit!

    Look at the positives - you have still lost 20lbs; almost a third of what you want to lose on your ticker. 20lb is the average weight of a one year old child or a car tyre. That is progress.

    Many people have said to me that this needs to be a lifestyle change rather than a diet which is so true. The fact that you are losing the weight slowly could help you to keep it off once you get to where you want to be.

    Use today as your "re-educate" and "focus" day. You can see what you need to change, you just need the determination and discipline to re-commence. YOU ARE NOT STARTING AGAIN.

    Oh, and did I say Don't quit? :happy:
  • SadieRose07
    SadieRose07 Posts: 104 Member
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    Don't try to get back on the wagon. It's impossible. Instead, realize the truth: there is no wagon. Then you will see that it is not about "getting on" or "falling off," only yourself. It is your life to live how you choose. If you make a bad choice, make recompense, then try again.

    Understand this, and choose well. :flowerforyou:

    I very much agree with this. When I go about this as just regular day to day, I do a lot better then when I look at it as a diet/wagon or look at it with the end goal. I have an end goal, but it so long off that I don't focus on it, I focus on my smaller goals.

    For example: if I'm having a bad day/week then I really pare down my goal to a daily goal of say "I will eat the salad and lean protein and not order a pizza". It sounds silly, but it gets me through the rough patch, then I can focus on the bigger mini-goals and before you know it, you're closer to your end goals.

    I also think you need to stop focusing on what everyone else is achieving and focus on what YOU want to achieve. Your goals don't have to mirror the goals of your family and friends.

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