rewards to help me overcome my eating disorder

TheSwiwi
TheSwiwi Posts: 16 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Im not really sure if its BED or compulsive overeating that i have, but they are similar enough that it doesnt really matter which it is right now, but what does matter is that its really serious, im completely ruled by food and lately it has gotten really bad where im not hungry at all, but 20 mins later iv eaten so much that whenever i move i vomit a little (sorry for that image), and iv been eating in the bathroom pretending to have a shower while i eat, its all for the experience of the food and taste of the food brings, i both reward and punish myself FOR eating, and BY eating. Over the last week since finally admitting i had a problem i have come SO far in my battle with food. but its getting hard to fight the compulsion to eat because the food was my emotional release and comfort.

I cant seem to find any idea of how to reward or motivate myself (except telling myself that i'm proud of myself for my strength) to help me daily on a micro level to stop overeating except a sticker chart that leads to a bigger reward. For example i would use it when i fight my way through a craving or compulsion and it passes. But if you have any other idea please let me know, because thats the only one i have.

All iv known for as long as i can remember is food related rewards so im asking here to help me find something else, so if you have any idea of what i could use instead of a sticker chart, and what i could use as mini rewards if i do end up using the chart, i would really like to hear them

Im making a necklace where i add a bead for every pound i lose, so iv had to rule out jewelley related rewards,
Iv also had to rule out spending money related rewards because im also trying to kick my compulsive purchasing and overspending habit too.

My mind is just really blocked so please if you have any ideas i would love to hear them, i just really want to have a healthy relationship with food

Thank you for taking the time
<3 Z

Replies

  • RamonaFr
    RamonaFr Posts: 112
    What a tough challenge you are facing. I think you would probably benefit from counseling, if you can find a psychologist who helps people with eating disorders. I think we all could stand to learn more about ourselves, and you are at a crucial point right now where some counseling could really help.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    I would like to say give yourself the gift of a reward now by going to see a counsellor to help you overcome the eating disorder. It is going to be hard to overcome this and while the idea of rewarding yourself is good, I think you are going to need some additional support.
  • mittenswillet
    mittenswillet Posts: 697 Member
    its obvious you are living with someone, because your having to do this in "secret", and trust me, ive done the shower thing also. (being a recovering bulemic)

    The one huge thing that helped me was admitting to the person i was living with what was going on, and after that, i made sure i was
    NEVER home alone with food. if your not alone, you cant binge, its that simple.

    I havent binged for nearly 3 years now, but there are days when i suddenly think about it, crave it and want to do it. why?... no idea.
    but then i think about the down side of it, what if i died choking?....or from a side effect of bulemia?.... yeah great way to die.
    no thanks.

    oh and not to forget what a WASTE of money it is just to either buy food to binge or waste food that should be for a good meal.

    my husband has taught me that food should be savoured, and enjoyed in a relaxed manner... its tough, but people like you and me USE food like a substance. and you have to get over this addiction, otherwise one day it will kill you.

    hope this helped you somewhat... and goodluck with your food demons..(that we all have to face in our lives)
  • TheSwiwi
    TheSwiwi Posts: 16 Member
    Thank you so much, this truly did help me a lot, and although it was incredibly hard to tell my partner about it, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
    I was so terrified that he would be disgusted or would tell me im weak and should just simply 'stop eating so much', but that didnt happen at all, and now hes on board with helping me on my journey
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    The book "Brain Over Binge" may help you if you do not wish to see a therapist at this stage. She also has some useful tips on her blog. See here: http://brainoverbinge.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/tips-for-beginners.html

    You are not alone in your struggle and neither are you abnormal. You have an issue to overcome no doubt but it can be overcome.
  • mittenswillet
    mittenswillet Posts: 697 Member
    Thank you so much, this truly did help me a lot, and although it was incredibly hard to tell my partner about it, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
    I was so terrified that he would be disgusted or would tell me im weak and should just simply 'stop eating so much', but that didnt happen at all, and now hes on board with helping me on my journey

    Im glad you told your partner, and yeah, that is probably the hardest thing to do, I thought the same thing "he will be disgusted"

    So it just goes to show how far love extends and understands! good to see the burden has been lifted.....

    .... your journey has begun, so spread those inner butterfly wings and start to bloom =) (hugs)

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